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Adult With Pet Ends Tommorrow Get Ur Comments In!~ Adult with Pet Contest ~
Now i'm taking adults with pet or pets for my contest send your
pic link to my inbox and i will enter you!
one with most comments wins!
1st person is......
with 5774 comments
2nd person is......
with 3696 comments
3rd person is......
with 508 comments
4th person is......
with 462 comments
5th person is......
with 385 comments
6th person is.....
with 171 comments
7th person is......
with 120 comments
8th person is......
with 110 comments
9th person is......
with 7 comments
10th person is......
with 7 comments
Contest from 2/1 thur 2/8
thanks
maria
Adult With Pet Contest Ends Today At 5 P.m. Central Time~ Adult with Pet Contest ~
Now i'm taking adults with pet or pets for my contest send your
pic link to my inbox and i will enter you!
one with most comments wins!
1st person is......
with 5881 comments
2nd person is......
with 4199 comments
3rd person is......
with 508 comments
4th person is......
with 462 comments
5th person is......
with 385 comments
6th person is.....
with 171 comments
7th person is......
with 120 comments
8th person is......
with 110 comments
9th person is......
with 7 comments
10th person is......
with 7 comments
Contest from 2/1 thur 2/8
thanks
maria
Adult With Pet Contest Is Closed Winners Are.....~~ Winners of the Adult with pet contest are.....~~
1st Place is...... Wins Silver Motorcycle and Dozen Roses
with 6000 comments
2nd Place is...... Wins Diamond Ring and Dozen Roses
with 4243 comments
3rd Place is...... Wins Men's Bracelet and Dozen Roses
with 508 comments
4th Place is...... Wins Diamond Earrings and Dozen Roses
with 462 comments
I want to thank everyone who was in the contest for doing a good job!
thanks
maria
Adult JokesQ.What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A: A cherry float.
Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's
mouth?
A: 1 US leader
Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A: BEAT IT - we're closed.
Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
A: To find a tight seal.
Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?
A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.
Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"
Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Q: What's another name for pickled bread?
A: Dill-dough.
Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?
A: She's withholding evidence.
Q: What's the difference between light and hard?
A: You can sle
Adult Eyes Only*Stolen from Godsmacked* lmao
For anyone who likes to get down and dirty...b/c who doesnt like to do that...I sure do...Read on and get nasty....life is too short to be good!
BE HONEST!
1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2007?
Yes
2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE?
Yes, in the park during a thunderstorm
3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? IF SO WHY?
Yes...Does the term vienna sausage ring a bell? LOL
4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO WHY?
No
5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX?
Wouldn't have it any other way
6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE?
Yes
7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM?
Many times *sighs* lol
8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP?
Either's a problem? lol
9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX:
Yes
10. EVER MASTERBATE TO YOUR FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
Yes
11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND?
No, I do so hate sharing lol
12. EVER HAVE A THREESOME?
Yes
13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX?
I have, but prefer to make my own, during ;)
14. EVER THOUGHT OF
Adult Funlooking for like minded ladys for day time play, knoxville TN
Adult Fairy TalesBody: CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 am. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother.
He took care of everything." The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power!
Tell me his name!"
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly,
Peter, Peter, the something eater."
Adult Jokes.Adult Jokes.
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration..
Q.What is the difference betw
Adult Fairy TalesCINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 am. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!" Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, Peter, Peter, the something eater."
__________
Adult Survey*Honesty For Adults*
*Relationships*
What is your current relationship status?
Very happily in a committed relationship
Have you ever cheated on a significant other/bf/gf?
yes
Would you ever cheat on anyone?
not anymore
Have you ever thought about cheating on anyone?
duh!!!!
What are your thoughts on someone who cheats?
they need to re-evaluate why they are in a relationship if they want to cheat
Have you ever had a one night stand?
yes
*Family*
Are your parents still married?
not since i was 3 yrs old...
Do you have any children?
yes
If so, how many and what are their ages?
1 daughter 22 yrs old
Were they planned or unplanned?
unplanned
What are your thoughts on stay at home moms?
i was one and
Adult Survey*Honesty For Adults*
*Relationships*
What is your current relationship status?
Very happily in a committed relationship
Have you ever cheated on a significant other/bf/gf?
yes
Would you ever cheat on anyone?
not anymore
Have you ever thought about cheating on anyone?
duh!!!!
What are your thoughts on someone who cheats?
they need to re-evaluate why they are in a relationship if they want to cheat
Have you ever had a one night stand?
yes
*Family*
Are your parents still married?
not since i was 3 yrs old...
Do you have any children?
yes
If so, how many and what are their ages?
1 daughter 22 yrs old
Were they planned or unplanned?
unplanned
What are your thoughts on stay at home moms?
i was one and
Adult Poem About OvertimeOh Husband, Dear Husband, I tremble with fear.
You've been on overtime almost a year,
And since you are gone, till way late at night
A good piece of ass seems way out of sight.
O Husband, Dear Husband, Please don't be a fool,
Working this overtime is wasting your tool.
For better it is, to be poor all your life,
Than to bring a soft peter home to your wife.
I used to be happy as your little queen,
But now every night you're no where to be seen
You come home from work just able to creep,
I feel like screwing, but you want to sleep.
Each evening, Dear Husband, you crawl into bed,
Your intentions are good but your peter is dead.
I play with your pecker all wrinkled and dry,
I get so damn mad, I could lay down and cry.
I have pleaded with you dear, with tears in my eyes,
I've played with your balls, but your pecker wont rise,
So I'll find me a man who works eight hours a day,
And while you're on O.T., we'll proceed to make hay.
For in this whole world, there i
30 Adult Secrets30 Secrets About Yourself
1. Ladies - does the carpet match the drapes? Gentlemen - Do you "log the forest"?
I have hardwood floors (*wink wink*)
2. Where was your default pic taken?
In my bedroom
3. What's your middle name?
Lee
4. What is one "fetish" that you have?
Having my hair pulled.
5. No names, but would you sleep with anyone on your friends list?
OH HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!!
6. What was the name of the person you lost your virginity to?
Dave Hobby
7. What color underwear are you wearing?
I am not wearing any (Really, I wear them as little as possible . . .)
8. Man on top; woman on top or something else?
Something else.
10. Name of one lover you regret.
Tim B.
11. Where is the "most dangerous" place that you have ever had sex?
Either behind a free standing MAC machine in the Pgh. Subway or on the hood of a police car (an ex was a cop) in an empty parking lot.
12. Give yourself a porn name.
Lolita Hummalot
13. Have you ever slept with a
30 Adult Secrets30 Secrets About Yourself
1. Ladies - does the carpet match the drapes? Gentlemen - Do you "log the forest"?
Um, yes. I'm too lazy to dye my hair. :)
2. Where was your default pic taken?
In my bedroom. In a hockey jersey. It's actually a cropped version of one of my NSFW pictures.
3. What's your middle name?
Marie.
4. What is one "fetish" that you have?
Being told what to do (i.e. slightly dominated). But only in bed. Outside of bed, um, no fuckin' way. :)
5. No names, but would you sleep with anyone on your friends list?
Hm. Yes. 'course, they're all long-distance and/or married/committed.
6. What was the name of the person you lost your virginity to?
Jeff Marker. My first boyfriend. At 20.
7. What color underwear are you wearing?
Turquoise and maroon patterned string bikinis.
8. Man on top; woman on top or something else?
Man on top. I like plain ol' missionary, so shoot me.
10. Name of one lover you regret.
Cody. Does
Adult PunsADULT PUNS
Did you hear about the new combination of Viagra and Doan's pills?
It's so the back won't peter out and the peter won't back out.
I was out hiking and thought I spied a pile of frog shit, but it turned out to be a toadstool.
How is a blonde like peanut-butter?
They spread for the bread.
There was a Latina gal who had a reputation in Tampa as an expert at oral sex and was referred to by her nickname, "The Gulp of Mexico!"
How do New Zealanders practice safe sex?
They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.
Get more at www.hostdrjack.com
Adult JokesADULT JOKES again!
Adam was talking to his friend at a bar. He said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck." His friend said, "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying that she can have 60 minutes of great sex , anyway she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled."
So Adam decided to listen to his friend's advice. The next day at the bar, his friend said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?" "Yes, I did," Adam replied. "Did she like it?" "Oh yes! She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead, and ran out the door, yelling, "I'll be back in an hour!"
********************************************************
A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc., and then asks, "What is y
Adult Photo's HereI am in a contest that I need help in and I was hoping that you would be able to help me out.It has already started and no one has been able to comment on it do to the fact that you have to add the guy who is running it as a friend just to be able to view it because it has to be marked as NSFW since it is The Womans Intimate Piercing Contest... So I am Sending his profile link along with his blog entry explaing it all... Plus the link to my photo of course... Sorry I did not know it was going to be this much hassle for anyone... But please I desperatly need help so I can win a contest finally!!! Thank you and remember anything you may need ever feel free to ask as I am always willing!!!
LINK TO MY PIC
[ CherryTAP.com photo: 462861521 ]
HIS PROFILE LINK
TheRH ( Ladies Best Intimate Piercing Contest) Now Open@ CherryTAP
HIS BLOG
http://cherrytap.com/blog/43692/249666
Adult Fun FactsFun Adult Facts
1) 94% of men lie about their dick size.
According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of
men need to use extra large condoms.
2) The average man is 4-5 inches long when erect; no matter what you have heard ladies, that's the
truth. Incidentally the average vaginal capactity is
only 6 inches, for you women who think you can handle
king dong.
3) 80% of American men are circumsized, though Pediatrics say it is not necessary.
4) No matter what all the ads say nothing but time can
make your penis grow. (most men reach
the end of their growth by the early 20's)
5) There is no correlation between penis size and
shoe size, hand size, or nose size.
6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically
called "prostatic congestion."
7) Only 16% of men shave their privates.
+Some stuff on the ladies+
------------------------------
1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider
themselves "attractive" (20% of British women
do). 43% of women use the term "
Adult Education (scene 2)ADULT Education Scene 2
I logged onto messenger, and found her light on. "Good evening, Miss Kitty"
She responded with a "meow" and changed her display picture to a luscious, provocative woman.
I let her know how impressed I was with the "book worm" that she was displaying, "Now that's a librarian that I wish I'd known when I was in school!"
"Ken, this how I view myself when I read your stories. Your story of Prince Charming was delicious. By the time I got to the climax....I was writhing in my seat at the grill. I had picked up my cell phone and was recording a message to myself when the waitress approached. She must have overheard some of my conversation....either that or my physical appearance was more apparent than I had believed."
"Oh really?"
"It's not important now. What I need to know is whether or not I can share stories that you send to me over the internet....or must I somehow keep them all to myself?"
"Well, don't you want to share the stories that are written
Adult Education (scene 3)ADULT Education
Scene 3
This week, I flirted quite a bit with Miss Kitty. I didn't let her know who I was, and I shared several stories with her. She especially seemed to like "The Money Lady", and so did I. At least, I should say that I enjoyed her offer to be strapped onto a saw horse and let me pleasure her thoroughly. She wanted me to share which male I was in the class. Though I knew that I would have to reveal myself some time... I was enjoying her disCUMfort. As time permitted, I worked on my seduction for this weeks assignment. Finally, the day had come. It was time to turn it in and risk my identity exposure. It would certainly be interesting...
I pulled into the parking lot a few minutes early, hoping to drop my story off and watch the others arrive. I especially wanted to watch Clarrissa, since she had been my inspiration. Even now, I could see the contrast of her ebony skin agains her hot, wet, pink passion blossom. I wondered when... if... I would have the oppor
Adult Education (scene 4)ADULT Education
Scene 4
What was I doing here? I couldn't take Clarissa "home"!!! The apartment was a mess. My wife and I had separated just a few weeks ago, and I was nowhere close to being ready to entertain. My mind reeled as I tried to figure out what to do. I couldn't resist the offer of what I thought Clarissa was making. She was so delicious, her light ebony skin made me hungry. I tried to clear my mind and relax, but found it difficult. After all these years of marriage, and on-line flirting, I discovered that I'd fallen out of practice being with a woman alone. I was nervous. My whole body trembled.
We walked out into the cool night. When we turned the corner, a brisk wind swirled around us and cut through my light jacket. Clarissa shivvered and clung tightly against me. "Wow, Ken. I was so impressed with your reading. You were so good at conveying the intensity. It was as if you were reading it just for me even though you took time to look into the faces of other
"adult" "mature" Sites Sometimes it seems like the word Adult has no place where it's used the most often. But I guess it would be too mucyh of a hassle to use the phrase - people 18 and over who still haven't grown out of the phase of life where their hormones are out of contoll. Or maybe people who really like stuff asscociated with sex. I'm not trying to be condascending here, but I don't think the word adult, necesarly coincides with what people use it for. What ever happened to the phrase, " act like an adult." ? or " Lets be adults about this. " Does that mean " Lets get naked. " ? or " lets have sex. " ? I'm not saying sex isn't something adults should be interested in, or that it's not adult for people to be interested in sex. I certainly don't think it's something limiited to adults, or necesarily true about all adults. I just don't like the automatic association beween the two words. Here's the somewhat condascending part maybe. There's movies and things that have " Mature audiences
Adults Only!!!Adults Only :
Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.
Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you eat it.
Q.) What does a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q.) What's the difference between a mans paycheck and his dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife or your girlfriend to blow your paycheck!
Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"
Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the
Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.
Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q.) What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.
[[[FEMALE & MALES]]]
Repost in 3 mins with the
Adults Only!!!Adults Only :
Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.
Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you eat it.
Q.) What does a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q.) What's the difference between a mans paycheck and his dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife or your girlfriend to blow your paycheck!
Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"
Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the
Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.
Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q.) What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.
[[[FEMALE & MALES]]]
Repost in 3 mins with the
Adult JoksADULT JOKES
The nurse was walking down the hospital corridor when her supervisor spotted her. The supervisor couldn't believe it: The nurses hair was unkempt, her dress wrinkled, and to top off her overall dishevelment, one of her breasts was hanging out of the open front of her uniform!
"Miss Jennings! How can you account for parading around the hospital not only looking like a derelict, but with your breast exposed!"
"Oh," said the nurse, as she stuffed her breast into her uniform, "It's those darn interns! They never put anything back when they're through using it!"
**************************************************************
During a lull in the rehearsal the groom and best man, two long time friends and playboys, began to compare conquests. The groom, looking out over the crowd, said to his best man, "You know Bill, except for my wife to be, my two sisters and my mother, I've made love to every woman in this room." To which his friend responded, "Well then, bet
Adult Learning CenterFall Classes for Men at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Monday, Oct 30, 2007
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday
AdultI received an e-mail from you, it read
a key will be waiting for you at the front desk.
Be there promptly at 4pm.
Do not respond to this note!
Remember 3 things.
do as you are told.
your code words.
and
that you are mine reading those last words.. made me wet...
I deleted the note
grabbed my overnight bag.. and left.
the road through Knoxville, Chattanooga... and finally to Atlanta.. was all a blur... i remember stopping for gas...but my mind was on the night ahead not the road..or... traffic.
3:50pm
I found the hotel... there is a parking place right in front, a tighter fit than i would normally take, but,. maybe its an omen...
this is fortunate, because i have to pee in the worst way.
i grabbed my bag and headed for the reception desk.
the man at the desk asks me my name.
i give both yours and mine.
he winks as he handed me an envelope.
room 452
just a key and room number...
i half expected a note...
shrugging it off.. and suddenly re
Adult Content. 50 Mistakes Women Make During Sex1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid ****. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.
2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation.
3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up.
4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault.
5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's ti
An Adult Storie About Joan And Jackie!Joan decides to go out with some friends to a bar up town for a couple of drinks and to have a good time, she works all the time and never has a chance to do anything. Sitting with her friends and having a good time she sees this women sitting at the end of the bar all alone not sure if she was with anyone, she told her friends she’d be right back, approaching the women she says hi, my name is Joan and the women replied back I’m Jackie and asked her if she wanted to join them for drinks, so they all have a great time and by the end of the night they had hit it off as friends and exchanged numbers, talking everyday they had become the best of friends and always going and doing things together, one day out shopping for clothes they were in the dressing room and Jackie caught herself checking out Joan while she wasn’t looking, she knew about this side of her but how was she going to tell Joan? So they end up eating lunch at a little café in town, and during lunch Jackie says to Joan I ha
AdultGet video codes at Bolt.
Adult StoryHe walks threw the door to find her cooking. sneaking up behind her, he wraps his arms around her, kissing her neck , she beings to smile talking about there day, he turns her around to say I love you and they being to kiss softly, she wraps her arms around his neck , she begins to playfully bite his lip while they kiss one another making out in the kitchen lifting her up and placing her on the counter by her hips, she wraps her legs around him, and beings to unbutton his shirt as he undoes her bra with two fingers, taking off her shirt and bra, she removes his shirt and goes to undo his button and his zipper, his , black kakis falling to his ankles, he undoes her button and pulls down her jeans off while still sitting on the counter, while she is running her hands threw his hair his nibbling on her breast and her nipples, she takes deep breaths and he moves up to her neck where it drives her crazy, pulling her towards him he slides his penis into her softly watching her nose flair
Adult PicsOkay, maybe I'm smoking too much crack but I used to have an Adult albuma and it's GONE. Are they deleting adult ablums even if you mark them as NSFW?
(I feel I'm so tame compared to what's out there. Someone slap me back to reality and tell me I'm TOO MUCH for the public.)
XOXO,
Tina
Adult ResignationI am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.
I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.
I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be
Adult Education (scene 5)ADULT Education
Scene 5
We climbed into bed, and slept. I was spent, honestly spent. I'd eaten her... she'd been as delightful as Danielle. She'd given me one blow job, jerked me off, and made me cum from sucking my balls while making me jerk off for her. THAT had been the most intense orgasm in quite some time. She'd finished me off by licking my shaft clean... it was so sensitive at that point that I felt as if I'd be in one CUMtinuous orgasm for hours. She had taken me, my shaft in her hand and led me to the bedroom. I climbed in and she had snuggled next to me. We slept as lovers have for centuries.
I woke in the morning, alone. Shit! It had been a dream. A wonderful dream, but it certainly could not be true. I got up and headed for the bathroom. When I opened the door, Clarissa was there, standing naked before the mirror. Her hands were on her breasts, her feet were parted... She smiled at me. "Good morning, Ken... I had a wonderful time last night and I slept beautifu
Adult Mad Libs! HahaWARNING: VERY! Explicit content below. If you are easily offended by derogatory remarks, read NO further. And My apoliges ahead of time. But, for the record, I was just the writer, not the word giver =p
These are a few actual quotes from our mad lib games this weekend. If you dont know the game of mad libs you wont get it lol
*Jack and Jill went up the swampthing to fuck a pail of semen. Jack fell down and broke his vaggine and Jill came swallowing after.
*Open your windows and fill your McNasties with fresh Semen depository and then, exhale rapingly.
*Ultimately, they invented the great timeskeeping devices of today such as the grandfather truck full of faggots, the pocket 50 Bob Sagets, the alarm French made baggets, and, of course, the sack full of semen watch.
*Condratulations abusive mothers and child molesting fathers. You are about to give birth to a pedophile. Remember, a happy child comes from a happy beating stick.
*When you board the bus, do
Adults Only.xxxx Rated...be Honest I Dare Ya To Send This Back To Me!!! Don't Be Scared!!! ;)Adults only.xxxx rated...be honest I DARE YA TO SEND THIS BACK TO ME!!! Don't be scared!!! ;)
1. Anal or oral?
2. Chocolate or whip Cream?
3. Ice or feathers?
4. Two girls and a guy or two guys and a girl?
5. Movie porn or live porn?
6. What do you wear to bed ?
7. Love making or hard fucking?
8. Do you shave ?
9. Spit or swallow?
10. Do you masturbate ?
11. Whats your turn on ?
12. Whats your favorite position ?
13. Do you belive in no glove no love ?
14. Where would you really love to have sex ?
15. How long can you go ? (and be honest)
16. Bondage or soft & gentle ?
17. Have you ever had sex in public ?
18. Do you touch yourself and get turned on ?
19. Is there anyone on your mind you want to have sex with ?
20. List one person on your friends/family/fan list you would have sex with?
Be honest !!
Adult Story... My Latest Writing..... Let Me Know What You ThinkHim/Her
>
> It is a very warm and sunny day.. And I am
> crabbing down in corbin city, on an island that you
> reach by boat....
>
> We are all alone and no one else in site. You're
> bending over to check your handline and I come up
> behind you, wrap my arms around you and bend against
> you to whisper in your ear "nice veiw from where I'm
> at". Then I nibbble on your earlobe as I rub your
> nipples in my hands......
>
> As the sun quenches my face to where my cheeks are red,
> I turn to you and smile.. I see the beautiful smile on your face and I bend
> over to plant a Very passionate kiss on you.. Deep, very sensual, almost sinful...
> as you continue to rub my full breasts, massaging them, pinching the nipples.
> I start to rub your cock through your Jeans feeling you throbbing & getting harder..
> You wrap your arms around me holding me tighter while you kiss me even
> deeper.....
>
> Overcome with desire, I lift you up and carry you over to a blanket
...adult Survey...1. Anal or oral?
I like both a lot... if I had to choose... it'd be oral *as long as I was giving*
2. Chocolate or whip Cream?
*whip cream*
3. Ice or feathers?
feathers... never tried ice
4. Two girls and a guy or two guys and a girl?
I've had both but I like fmf...
5. Movie porn or live porn?
Making my own?
6. What do you wear to bed ?
If someone's with me, nothing... if I'm alone I wear panties and pjs or a nighty...
7. Love making or hard fucking?
Depends, I get in the mood for both, but generally hard fucking
8. Do you shave ?
Nope, but I nair that bitch...
9. Spit or swallow?
It's not ladylike to spit.
10. Do you masturbate ?
A few times a day usually
11. Whats your turn on ?
A good kisser
12. Whats your favorite position ?
half hanging off the bed, my back and head on the floor and my legs up over your shoulders...
13. Do you belive in no glove no love ?
Nope. I was married for 2
Adult Survey1. Anal or oral?
2. Chocolate or whip Cream?
3. Ice or feathers?
4. Two girls and a guy or two guys and a girl?
5. Movie porn or live porn?
6. What do you wear to bed ?
7. Love making or hard fucking?
8. Do you shave ?
9. Spit or swallow?
10. Do you masturbate ?
11. Whats your turn on ?
12. Whats your favorite position ?
13. Do you beleive in no glove no love ?
14. Where would you really love to have sex ?
15. How long can you go ? (and be honest)
16. Bondage or soft & gentle ?
17. Have you ever had sex in public ?
18. Do you touch yourself and get turned on ?
19. Is there anyone on your mind you want to have sex with ?
20. List one person on your friends/family/fan list you would have sex with?
Be honest !!
Adult QuizAdult quiz... Body: OK, now that I have your attention. An Adult Survey - Be honest. If you aren't honest then what is the point. Fill it out and re-post as a bulletin. Have fun. 1) Ever been to a strip club? YES 2) Ever been to a bar? YES 3) Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club? NO 4) Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out somewhere? YES 5) Kissed someone of the same sex? YES 6) Thrown up from drinking too much? YES 7) Had sex in a car? YES 8) Had sex in a park? NO 9) Had sex in a cinema? NO 10) Had sex in a bathroom? YES 11) Had sex at work? YES 12) Have you ever been in an "adult" store? YES 13) Bought something from an "adult" store? YES 14) Is there anyone on your friends list you would consider having sex with? OH HELL YES....LOL 15) Have you ever had a threesome? YES 16) Are your breasts real? YES 17) Have you ever kissed a stranger? YES 18) Does anyone have naughty pics of you? NOT THAT I KNOW OF...LOL 19) Ever had oral sex in a nightclub? NO 20) Ever had sex with some
Adult Xxx SurveyNO CHILDREN ALLOWED!!
An Adult Survey - Be honest. If you aren't honest then what is the point. Fill it out and re-post as a bulletin. Have fun.
1) Ever been to a strip club?
Yes
2) Ever been to a bar?
Yes
3) Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
Yes
4) Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
No I don’t drink… (Now I bet you are wondering how I got kicked out of a bar if I don’t drink, ask me I might tell you one day.)
5) Kissed someone of the same sex?
Hell No
6) Thrown up from drinking too much?
See answer to number 4
7) Had sex in a car?
Yes
8) Had sex in a park?
No
9) Had sex in a cinema?
No (you would think with as much time as I spend at the movies this answer would be yes.)
10) Had sex in a bathroom?
Yes
11) Had sex at work?
Yes (Hence the answer to number 10)
12) Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
YES
13) Bought something from an "adult" store?
Yes what’s the point in going if you don’
Adult SurveyAn Adult Survey - Be honest. If you aren't honest then what is the point.
1) Ever been to a strip club? Yes
2) Ever been to a bar? Yes
3) Ever been kicked out of a bar? Nope
4) Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere? yes
5) Kissed someone of the same sex? yes
6) Thrown up from drinking too much? yes
7) Had sex in a car? No..had sex ON a car though
8) Had sex in a park? Nope
9) Had sex in a cinema? Nope
10) Had sex in a bathroom? Yes
11) Had sex at work? no
12) Have you ever been in an "adult" store? Yes
13) Bought something from an "adult" store? Yes
14) Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with? Yes
15) Have you ever had a threesome? yes
16) Are your breasts real? Yes
17) Have you ever kissed a stranger? yes
18) Does anyone have naughty pics of you? yes
19) Ever had oral sex in a nightclub? Not yet
20) Ever had sex with someone you met through Cherry Tap? yes
An
Adult Education (scene 6)ADULT Education
Scene 6
My hopes were dashed... almost. We had stopped to pick up the strap on, I drove, with both ladies in the middle seats of my van. I listened and watched as they giggled. I watched, Clarissa holding the base between her knees... Janey stroked it... both hands grasping it and slowly jerking the rubber cock (it had to be a full 10 inches!!!) off. I imagined her hads on my shaft... she caught my eyes in the mirror and blew me a kiss. Oh shit she was a hottie. Clarissa stroked Janey's face with the tip of the cock. I cock got harder and harder with each minute. I expected a full blown orgy at my place.
Instead, Clarissa directed me to my camera and told me that she wanted Janey all to herself. I was crushed, and my face showed it. My CUMsolation was for Janey to plant a hot, wet, mouth probing kiss on my mouth. Her breasts hot on my chest, her hands on my buns, she ground her hot hips against me. When she broke for a breath, she whispered in a sultry, thr
Adult's Survey...This is a little more of a provactive survey than some of the others.
1. Sex is best in the morning, afternoon, or night?
Since morning is my night, I'd have to say mornings
2. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
The right side
3. Pork, Beef, or Chicken?
Sure, throw it on the grill!
4. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
No but did in the drive way once
5. What leg do you put in pants first when pulling them up?
Right
6. Candles or Incense?
Candles
7. Do you dance when no one is watching?
No but I do sing and you don't want to hear that
8. Did you play doctor when you were little?
No but I play nurse now
9. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No my man gives it to me whenever so no need for that
10. Stove top cooking or microwave?
Stove top
11. Would you rather your car or your house be dirty?
My house is clean my car is packed with softball/t-ball equp.
12. Shower or bath?
Shower
13. Do you pe
Adult OnlyNAUGHTY APPLiCATiON" Best one will get a reply......
1. Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Favorite position (s)?
4. Do you think I'm hot?
5. Would you have sex with me?
6. lights on or off?
7. Would you have to be drunk?
8. Would you take a shower with me?
9. Have you ever thought about having sex with me?
10. Would you leave after or stay the night?
11. Do you like cuddling afterwards?
12. Condom or skin?
13. Do you give Oral pleasures?
14. Do you like to receive Oral Pleasures?
15. Have sex on the first date?
16. Would you kiss me during sex?
17. Do you think I would be good in bed?
18. Threesome?
20. How many times would you like to cum?
21. Would you use me as a booty call?
21. Can I use you as a booty call?
22. Do you like foreplay?
23. What is foreplay to you?
24. Can we take pictures of the act?
25. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?
SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE SEND THiS BACK TO YOU!
EVEN iF YOU HAVE A BO
Adult AnimeSexy
Naughty Graphics by www.maturegraphics.com
Adult (?) SurveyYou:
What color eyes?
Hair?
How tall?
How old?
What city do you live in?
Male/Female?
The Private You?
How many people have you had sex with this year?
How many of those people were one night stands?
How many serious relationships have you had?
What is your favorite position?
Have you ever slept with more than one person at a time?
Him / Her
Eyes?
Height?
Weight?
Body structure?
Tall / short?
Personality?
Age?
Misc.
What is the first question you ask before having sex with someone?
Have you ever considered or had a sex buddy with no relationship?
If yes, how many?
Have you ever not been in love with someone you had sex with?
Top or bottom?
Have you ever considered being with some of the same sex?
What are 2 turn on's?
What are 2 turn off's?
Why did you feel it necessary to fill out this survey and post it for everyone to see?
Who i
Adult SurveyYou:What color eyes?blueHair?dirty blondeHow tall?5'7How old?22What city do you live in?in NH thats all you need to knowMale/Female?femaleThe Private You?How many people have you had sex with in 2006?3How many of those people were one night stands?0How many serious relationships have you had?4What is your favorite position?legs over the shoulders bent toward me Have you ever slept with more than one person at a time?yesHim / HerEyes?doesnt really matter blue a huge turn onHeight?negotionable preferably same hight or tallerWeight?negotionableBody structure?not a big deal Tall / short?taller betterPersonality?caring,sweet,honest,loyal,helpful,understanding,fun loving,compromising,loves kids and moreAge?preferably 18-30 may be lienant for right personMisc.What is the first question you ask before having sex with someone?dont really ask a question but would be nice to know if they have feelings for meHave you ever considered or had a sex buddy with no relationship?unfortunitaly i was trivk
Adult Hardcore SurveyThis is for everyone to copy, paste, fill out , and send to whomever. Anyone who is sick of the vanilla surveys out there everywhere.
Simple Section:
1. would you fuck me?
2. would you be my fuck buddy?
3. would you eat me?
4. would you let me eat you?
5. would you stay all night, or bolt before dawn?
6. what positions would you fuck me in?
Little Harder
7. would you fuck me in the ass?
8. would you let me fuck you in the ass?
9. would you tie me up?
10.can i tie you up?
11. will you wear makeup for me?
12. wear a skirt for me?
13. be my bitch?
14. make me your bitch?
Fetish time
15. would you suck my toes?
16. let me suck yours?
17. ask me to suck mine while you watch?
18. let me jack you off with my feet?
19. cum all over my feet?
20. lick said cum off my feet?
21. watch me lick it off?
22. help me lick it off?
More fetish
23. Would you cut me?
24. let me cut you?
25. drink my blood?
26. let me drink yours?
27. 3-way mmf with me?
28. 3-way mff
Adult SurveyAdult quiz... Body: OK, now that I have your attention. An Adult Survey - Be honest. If you aren't honest then what is the point. Fill it out and re-post as a bulletin. Have fun.
1) Ever been to a strip club? nope but i want to go this year some time
2) Ever been to a bar? YES
3) Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club? NO 4) Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out somewhere?i maybe stumbing and need directions but i can get home by myself
5) Kissed someone of the same sex? YES
6) Thrown up from drinking too much? YES and what a night
7) Had sex in a car? YES a BMW in the passenger seat...oh what fun
8) Had sex in a park? yep
9) Had sex in a cinema? NO
10) Had sex in a bathroom? oh YES
11) Had sex at work? nope not to date
12) Have you ever been in an "adult" store? YES 13) Bought something from an "adult" store? YES 14) Is there anyone on your friends list you would consider having sex with? mmmmmm sexy people on my friends list :P
15)have you ever had a t
Adult Playwanna play?
we need a hot little Bi slut or couple to play with this weekend!!!!greensboro Nc area.. any takers? msg us..............
Adult JokesMORE ADULT JOKES
How do you know when a blond is having a bad day?
Her tampon is behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil.
*******************************************************************
Two gays got into a heated argument, with one of them saying, "Well, you can kiss my ass!" The other one blurted out, "This is no time to talk about romance, Bitch!"
**************************************************************
When I worked for the laundry, I would go daily to the convent to ask the sisters if they had any dirty habits.
************************************************************
How can a girl tell when her date suffers from premature ejaculation? When he comes walking in the door.
************************************************************
This guy got a job playing the piano in a whorehouse. But he had to quit after the first week. He couldn't stand the fucking overhead.
***********************************************************
What did the
Adult Servey1. What is the 1st thing you notice on the opposite sex? Boobs
2. What is your favorite body part on the opposite sex? Vagina
3. What 1st drew you to your current bf/gf? Boobs
4. When did you first start liking the opposite sex?
I think about 6
5. Who was your fist true love?
Some girl, with little boobs, many years ago
6. (women) What is your bra size?
7. (men) Have you ever measured your penis? Nope
8. When did you lose your virginity? 16
9. Did you enjoy your 1st sexual experience? Not really, but i knew i liked vagina
10. (women...or gay men) Biggest penis you've ever had?
11. Ever make out with someone of the same sex? No
12. Are you straight, bi or gay? Straight
13. Do you remember your 1st orgasm? No
14. Do you prefer aggressive or passive partners? Depends on the mood
15. Are you aggressive or passive?
See above
16. Ever been tied up? yes, and it didn'
Adult RelationsTHE PICNIC...
THE WARM SUNSHINE OF SPRINGTIME BARELY FILTERS THROUGH THE TREES
AS YOU WALK DOWN THE TRAIL TO OUR MEETING SPOT. STILL COOL UNDER THE
CANOPY OF LEAVES, YOU FIND YOURSELF PERSPIRING ANYWAYS. THE WALK
IS PLENTY LONG ALBEIT BEAUTIFUL, WITH THE WILDFLOWERS BLOOMING
AND THE STREAM SPLASHING DOWN THE ROCKS ALONG THE TRAIL. BUT THAT
IS NOT WHY YOU ARE PERSPIRING. YOU ARE THINKING OF ME. THE
STORIES I'VE TOLD ON LINE, SO SUGGESTIVE AND NAUGHTY. YOU ARE COMING
TO MEET ME FOR THE FIRST TIME. YOU KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT ME, BUT IT IS
MY DOMINANT SIDE THAT CALLS TO YOUR ANIMALISTIC DESIRES. YOU HAD
WOKEN UP EARLY AFTER A NIGHT OF EROTIC DREAMS. YOU HAVE PREPARED
YOURSELF PER MY INSTRUCTIONS AND NOW... YOU ARE MINUTES FROM
FINALLY MEETING ME.
YOU ARE LISTENING TO THE BIRDS SINGING AS YOU ROUND A BEND AND
SEE MY MARKER DIRECTING YOU OFF THE MAIN TRAIL ONTO A THINNER
PATH. ABOUT TWENTY PACES UP THIS PATH IT OPEN
AdulterousAdulterous
I am happy that I can make you delighted.
The thought of touching your body gets me excited.
Yeah I have rocked and socked your world.
Rearranged and changed you girl.
I know you like the way my hands make you melt.
You haven't felt the pleasures that my hands delt.
Skimming lightly with my finger tips over your skin.
Sweeter than sin the tension within making you grin.
I know your ol' man can't understand.
And that dude can't do what I can.
So I'll keep this fling a secret thing.
But baby I don't see no wedding ring.
I'm good to keep this on the low low .
Cause your man might just end up knowing.
Might be suspect to where you going.
It is our little secret that we be constantly boning.
In my private place you can get loud with your moaning.
Those first fuck sessions where just a taste of my grace.
Believe me, I know how to set a pace.
I can entice that kind of spice that can make you feel nice.
After the other night I wanna love you more than twice.
Adult Survey1. What is the 1st thing you notice on the opposite sex?
2. What is your favorite body part on the opposite sex?
3. What 1st drew you to your current bf/gf?
4. When did you first start liking the opposite sex?
5. Who was your fist true love?
6. (women) What is your bra size?
7. (men) Have you ever measured your penis?
8. When did you lose your virginity?
9. Did you enjoy your 1st sexual experience?
10. (women...or gay men) Biggest penis you've ever had?
11. Ever make out with someone of the same sex?
12. Are you straight, bi or gay?
13. Do you remember your 1st orgasm?
14. Do you prefer aggressive or passive partners?
15. Are you aggressive or passive?
16. Ever been tied up?
17. Ever have a 3sum?
18. Ever participate in an orgy?
19. Do you like oral sex?
a. give?
b. receive?
20. How old were you when you 1st performed or received oral?
21. Any celebrities you would have sex with if you could?
22. Favorite position?
23.
Adult Nursery Rhymes: Bedtime Poems --for Big KidsMary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.
Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb NFBSK!"
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses and all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.
Hey diddle diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
Georgie Porgy Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
There was a lit
Adult Fairy TalesCINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 am. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother.
He took care of everything." The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power!
Tell me his name!"
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly,
Peter, Peter, the something eater."
______
Adult SurveyBody: 1. Is sex best morning afternoon or night?
i'm choosing ANY TIME!
2. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Right .. or middle
3. Pork, Beef, or Chicken:
chicken
4. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?:
Guilty !! Yes I have
5. What leg do you put in pants first when pulling them up?:
idk never paid attention
6. Candles or Incense?
candles
7. Do you dance when no one is watching?
i have
8. Did you play doctor when you were little?
yes
9. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
I think in germany .. it's a bit of a blur
10. Stove top cooking or microwave?
you cooking
11.Would you rather your house be dirty or car?
my car.
12. Shower or bath?
Both
13. That spot that makes you melt?:
if you can't find it i'm not directing you to it
15. Mexican or Chinese food?:
Mexi
16. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?:
both
17. Do you love someone on your top friends?:
Yes
1
Adult JokesA college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant.
To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu. Appetizers, lobster, champagne. The works. Finally he asked her,
"Does your Mother feed you like this at home?" "No, of course not," she said, "but my Mother's not hoping to get into my pants tonight,
either."
Tony met a young woman in a bar. She accepted his invitation to go back to his apartment with him. After a few drinks and some soft music, he suggested they retire to the bedroom, and the girl agreed. Soon they were going at it hot & heavy, when all of a sudden, Tony stopped dead, looked at her and said, "Hey, you don't have herpes, do you?" "No," she replied. "What would make you ask such a thing?" "That's a relief," said Tony. "The last girl didn't tell me till it
was too late!"
The prostitute had an appointment with her psychiatrist. When she entered at his offi
AdulthoodWhen we are kids, we have friends. We have sleepovers, summer camp, summer vacation, Christmas vacation, Spring Break, and loads of other happy things to celebrate. Sure, not everyone had a rosy childhood, but even the most awful memories are dulled by time.
When we reach adulthood, we lose these little celebrations, bit by bit. We lose most of our vacations and find out our parents weren't kidding when they said we had it easy. We stop having sleepovers, and trade those instead for one permanent sleepover with a husband or wife. I don't think some people ever really get the hang of that one.
We have kids of our own, and fully understand why our parents were so freaked out by us all of the time...why they hated our music and didn't understand our language or the fashion choices we'd made. We finally "get it," it comes to us in a moment of clarity, "Oh my God, you were right. You were right about everything."
I asked my mother once, while going through some troubles with my ow
Adult Sex Quiz ... See How Well You Do :pLet's See How Well You Do... Answers At The Bottom lmao
1.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
2.) What's the speed limit of sex?
3.) What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
4.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
5.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
6.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
7.) What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
Answers:
1A.) So men can be open minded.
2A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.
3A.) The longer you play with them,the harder they get.
4A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
5A.) "Is it in?"
6A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
7A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.
:P
Have A Great Day!
Adults Only SurveyBody: Adults Only Survey!
Body: 1. Sex is best in the morning, afternoon, or night?
morning, afternoon and night!
2. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
If alone...middle...if not...closet to the alarm clock
3. Pork, Beef, or Chicken?
chicken
4. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
not with myself driving but other people have had to pull over for me
5. What leg do you put in pants first when putting them on?
at the moment it would be the left cause getting pants over the cast is a pain in the butt
6. Candles or Incense?
both
7. Do you dance when no one is watching?
yes...and when drunk I dance so everyone can see
8. Did you play doctor when you were little?
of course...who didn't
9. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
not that I can recall but you never know
10. Stove top cooking or microwave?
microwave
11. Would you rather your car or your house be dirty?
my car since I dont have one
12. Shower or b
Adult ContentWhy is it that they say they are an adult site but yet they cencer what is said.If this is an all adult site why is it if you put something on that is for adults only that they tell you that you can't do that? It makes no bloody sense! If people are appauled by something they shouldn't look at it instead of running and tattling like a little bloody child!That right there should tell you that they are not mature enough to handle adult sites and are the ones that don't need too have access to adult content!Hell no one makes you look at it and you can always click on something else too look at!People like that tend to get under my skin really bad and makes me want to tie them up to the outer armor of my humvee and use them as body shields!
Adult QuizBody: Adults Only Survey!
1. Sex is best in the morning, afternoon, or night?
morning, afternoon and night!
2. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
The right side always
3. Pork, Beef, or Chicken?
Pork or chicken, don't like red meat but will eat it if I have to in small quantities.
4. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
not with myself driving but other people have had to pull over for me
5. What leg do you put in pants first when putting them on?
The left leg...left handed lol.
6. Candles or Incense?
both
7. Do you dance when no one is watching?
yes, and even when people are lol.
8. Did you play doctor when you were little?
Hell ya
9. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
Ummmmm, nope.
10. Stove top cooking or microwave?
Stove top
11. Would you rather your car or your house be dirty?
my car since I dont have one
12. Shower or bath?
bubble bath
13. Do you pee in the shower?
no
15. Mexican or
Adults Only SurveyBody: Adults Only Survey!
1. Sex is best in the morning, afternoon, or night?
morning, afternoon and night!
2. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
I'm single. I sleep in the middle.
3. Pork, Beef, or Chicken?
Sure.
4. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
No.
5. What leg do you put in pants first when putting them on?
Left
6. Candles or Incense?
both
7. Do you dance when no one is watching?
Sometimes.
8. Did you play doctor when you were little?
No. We played house.
9. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
Uh...
10. Stove top cooking or microwave?
Stove top
11. Would you rather your car or your house be dirty?
Car since it's always dirty anyway.
12. Shower or bath?
Shower
13. Do you pee in the shower?
Uh...
15. Mexican or Chinese food?
Both
16. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Combo
17. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Sort of. I don't really know them, but they
Adult Survey1. What is the 1st thing you notice on the opposite sex?
2. What is your favorite body part on the opposite sex?
3. What 1st drew you to your current bf/gf?
4. When did you first start liking the opposite sex?
5. Who was your fist true love?
6. (women) What is your bra size?
7. (men) Have you ever measured your penis?
8. When did you lose your virginity?
9. Did you enjoy your 1st sexual experience?
10. (women...or gay men) Biggest penis you've ever had?
11. Ever make out with someone of the same sex?
12. Are you straight, bi or gay?
13. Do you remember your 1st orgasm?
14. Do you prefer aggressive or passive partners?
15. Are you aggressive or passive?
16. Ever been tied up?
17. Ever have a 3sum?
18. Ever participate in an orgy?
19. Do you like oral sex?
a. give?
b. receive?
20. How old were you when you 1st performed or received oral?
21. Any celebrities you would have sex with if you could?
22. Favorite position?
23.
Adult Survey1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
Yep
2. Is sex best in the morning, afternoon, or night? Anytime! There is no 'best' time, its all good!
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
If you are looking at the bed its the left side
4. Pork, beef, or chicken??? Chicken!
5. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke? Nope
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money? nope
7. Shower or bath? Shower if I want to get clean.
8. Do you pee in the shower? Nope
9. Mexican or Chinese? Chinese
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? Aggressive
11. Do you love someone on your top friends? Yup
13. Love or money? Love...but money is nice.
14. Cards or cash? CASH
15. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn't? Yes
16. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel? Depends on the time of year and who I'm with.
17.Vagina? Check
18. Would you shave your
Adult Survey1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
oh yes!
2. Is sex best in the morning, afternoon, or night? I like sex all the time.
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
right side closest to the door
4. Pork, beef, or chicken??? beef
5. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke? maybe when i was little
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money? no
7. Shower or bath? Shower
8. Do you pee in the shower? sometimes
9. Mexican or Chinese? Chinese
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? Aggressive
11. Do you love someone on your top friends? definitly
13. Love or money? Love
14. Cards or cash? cards with cash inside
15. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn't? no
16. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel? I like both.
17.Vagina? i like it but don't have one
18. Would you shave your entire body (including your head)? Never
19. Have
Adult FunHosted By: JULIETWhen: Friday Sep 14, 2007 at 8:00 PMWhere: The Sans Souci1055 Regal RowDallas, TX 75201United StatesDescription:
Single Men $15
Couples $15
Unescorted Women (Free)
So dress up and come party
Glow in the dark party....
Adult FunHosted By: JULIETWhen: Friday Sep 14, 2007 at 8:00 PMWhere: The Sans Souci1055 Regal RowDallas, TX 75201United StatesDescription:
Single Men $15
Couples $15
Unescorted Women (Free)
So dress up and come party
Glow in the dark party....
Adult Fairy TalesCINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 am. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother.
He took care of everything." The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power!
Tell me his name!"
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly,
Peter, Peter, the something eater."
______
Adulthood..*top 25 ways to tell you've finally grown up*
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the
Adult Site....haI thought that when I first joined CherryTap, that this was an "adult" only site so that "adults" would have some place on the internet to interract with each other with no consequence to what was said or posted...Well I guess since it is becoming of age, the Gustopo and it's storm troopers must somehow keep the masses under control. The censorship of photos and stash is not the workings of an "adult" only site, and I for one, is kinda getting sick of it. Believe me, If I could find another site on the internet that is so populated with people and is designed somewhat like this, but with a lot less censorship, I would delete my account and move to the other site in a heartbeat....and if I keep mouthing off to GOD and his minions...I just may get deleted.
But...It is time to bring back the old CherryTap...and get these censorship assholes the hell out of here...and if that means the bouncers...then so be it....
THIS IS AN ADULT SITE.....LETS ACT LIKE ONE AND PARTY!!!!!!!
Adult Sex QuizI DIDN'T WANT TO RISK NOT SENDING THIS AS YOU WILL SEE AT THE BOTTOM!!
Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.
Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.
Q.) What does a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"
Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.
Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q.) What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred
Adult JokesQ: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for "suck here".
Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but "down under."
Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet.
But when they go, they take your house and car with them.
Q: WHY DO WOMEN RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN
THE MORNING?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...
AND:
Q: WHAT IS A MAN'S ULTIMATE EMBARRASSMENT?
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose
Adult Questions That Im Not Afraid To Answer!!1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having
sex with?
yes there is!!
2. Is sex best in the morning, afternoon, or night?
all the time is the best time!
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
left side
4. Which do you prefer...Pork, beef, or chicken???
chicken
5. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
No
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
Nope
7. Shower or bath?
shower
8. Do you pee in the shower?
Ummm NO
9. Mexican or Chinese food?
Mexican food
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
i want one that is both
11. Do you love someone on your top friends?
Yes
13. Love or money?
Love
14. Do you use mostly Credit cards or cash?
cash
15. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn't ?
Yes
16. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
Camping
17.Vagina's????
I have one lol
18. Would you shave your entire body (including y
Adult BookstoreAdult Bookstore
by MOVIEFAN4©
I walked into the adult bookstore as usual, hoping to find an interesting encounter but so often disappointed. It was Saturday night about 11:45 p.m. and the parking lot had a dozen cars or so. I got tokens from the clerk and headed back to the video booth area. On my way back to find a booth I caught a glimpse of a petite blonde in cut off jeans, a blouse and high heel "come fuck me " shoes already watching a movie with her boyfriend/husband. They were hugging closely in the booth and I could see she was stroking his cock. I went into the booth across from them so I could keep an eye on the action. I started to watch some movies which only made me more horny. I could see him playing with her ass and tits. I was very nervous about exposing myself to her so I just watched for the next 15 minutes. They kept fondling each other and I was hoping their play would get more nasty. She turned around a couple of times and caught me staring at them. One time s
An Adulterous AffairAn Adulterous Affair
by FawnLowery ©
I hadn't planned on committing adultery--it just seemed to happen.
I'm executive secretary to Tom Crawford, senior partner in the Crawford Law Firm. It was Friday afternoon, and I was trying to clear my desk so I could leave work by 5:00 o'clock when Lee Matthews stopped by my office. Lee is the newest attorney to join the group. He asked if I could find a file for him before I left for the day.
"You're not working late again, are you?" I asked merely to be polite. He was in his dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and his tie loosened. He looked like he'd been sweating over a project. I knew he was handling the Smith case, and awaiting a trial date.
Lee perched on one corner of my desk while I crossed the room to the file cabinet. I heard him expell a loud sigh and I turned to look at him.
"I'm cutting my teeth on this case, Lanie," he said shaking his head.
Everybody in the office called me Lanie, sort of a nickname for Elaine
An Adult Survey1. How many people have you had sex with in 2007?4 maybe lol
2. Weed, coke, speed, crack, heroin, oxy, acid, x, k, peyote, mushrooms... of these, how many have you done?
none i dont do drugs at all
3. Ever been cheated on?
Yes
4. Ever paid for sex?
if you count meeting someone in a motel room then yes lol
5. Ever been married?
yes unfortunately
6. Ever been divorced?
not yet
7. If you HAD to pick one, whats your favorite sexual position?
doggy
8. Do you own any guns?
yes
9. Ever done more than 30 days in jail?
No
10. Ever been in rehab?
No
11. Have you ever had any sexual experiences with the same sex?
yes more than once
12. Ever have sex with anyone that you met on fubar
Not yet lol
13. Truthfully… size matters?
if they know how to operate it its all good there is such a thing as too much lol
14. Do you think Arnold could beat up Chuck Norris?
Who cares?
15. What celebrity would you want to have sex with?
george clooney
16.
Adult Nursey Rhymes> I thought these were cute. I hope you enjoy them also.
>
>
> Nursery Rhymes for Big Kids
>
>
> Mary had a little pig,
> She kept it fat and plastered;
> And when the price of pork went up,
> She shot the little bastard.
>
> MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
> Her father shot it dead.
> Now it goes to school with her,
> Between two hunks of bread.
>
> JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
> To have a little fun.
> Stupid Jill forgot the pill
> And now they have a son.
>
> SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
> Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
> "What have you got there?"
> Said the Pie man unto Simon,
> "Pies, you dumb Ass"
>
> HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
> Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
> All the king's horses,
> And all the king's men.
> Had scrambled eggs,
> For breakfast again.
>
> HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
> All over the bedside clock.
> The little dog laughed to see such fun.
> Then died of electric
Adult Questions1. Is there anyone on your “top friends’ list you would ever consider having sex with?
yeah only Chris tho for now haha
2. What side of the bed do you usually sleep?
depends on where I fall asleep at
3. Have you ever had sex with someone that you hated?
well I hate those 2 now so hmm
5. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
I haven't puked for years
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
nope not a stripper
7. Shower or bath?
shower
8. Do you pee in the shower?
no
9. Mexican or Chinese?
chinese
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
haha mixture of both....lets have fun
11. Do you love someone on your top friends?
yes Chris and a few select other friends
12. Have you ever slept with anyone on your top friends?
chris i have
13. Love or money?
love....it lasts forever money doesnt.
14. Credit cards or cash?
cash, credit cards can screw up your life.
15. Has there ever been
Adult Websiat-storeWELL LADIES AND GENTELMAN, IM HAVIN TROUBLE FINDING A SUPPLIER FOR COLORED CONTACT LENSES. BUT WHILE SEARCHIN FOR SAID SUPPIER I CAME ACROSS A GOOD SOURCE FOR ADULT ITEMS AND SUCH-XXX. SO IM ASKIN THE PEOPLE OF FUBAR WHAT THEY WOUILD BUY SO THAT I MAY CATER TO THERE NEEDS AND YES YOU ALL WILL GET THE BEST PRICE I COULD POSSIBLLY GIVE,AND THATS MY WORD.
PLEASE GIVE ME SOME KINDA FEED BACK. THANK YOU ALL MY FUBAR FAMILY.....
Adult FactsSex Facts!
fact about sex
Men:
1) 94% of men lie about their penis size.
According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of
men use extra large condoms.
2) The average man is 5 inches long when erect
(no matter what you have heard ladies, that's the
truth).
3) 80% of American men are circumsized. Even
though Pediatrics say it is not necessary.
4) No matter what all the ads say, nothing can
make your penis grow but time (most men reach
the end of their growth by the early 20's)
5) There is no correlation between penis size and
shoe size, hand size, or nose size.
6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically
called "prostatic congestion."
7) Only 16% of men shave their privates.
+Some stuff on the ladies+
------------------------------
1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider
themselves "attractive" (20% of British women
do).
43% of women use the term "natural", 24% say
they have "average" looks, 8% prefer the
term "feminine", 7% say they are
Adults With Pet Contest!Adult with Pet contest!
I need adults with pets pics for this!
Comment bombing allowed and Self bombing allowed!
2 Gifts from gift shop per winner!
If u want to enter the contest plz send me link to ur pic in my messages
or tell me and i will rip it for u !
Contest will start on 10/24 thur 10/30
Thanks
Maria
Click on pic to enter contest!
~*~AnGeLHeArT~*~~*~ ILLINOIS GOD MOTHER~*~ Founder Of
*AnGeL FaMiLy *&* A.F.H.* ~ FoUnDeR Of~ * AnGeLs Of MeRcY BoMb
SqUaD~ * ~<
a href="http://fubar.com" target=_blank>@ fubar
Adult Story (written At The Request Of An Old Friend) It's Really Cheesy!!! That's Your WarningWarning this is a REALLY Fucked up story squeamish should not proceed.Please leave comments with your thoughts. Kidnapped Harem(Chapter 1) By The Master Nine inch nails is playing in the background and the drum's Boom Pssh Boom Pssh is drowning out the screams. Intentionally he plays this when he calls to mating his harem. All 5 neighborhood women Kidnapped and bound in his soundproofed basement. Only he can hear the screams when he violates them in various ways while they're tied up in several positions. The oldest is 45 she has her arms shackled to the wall and her feet bound to the floor so she is forced to lean over with her now reddened ass in the air. He masturbates to the squealing everytime he smacks her ass with his cattle prod. SMACK (EEEEEE) Smack(EEEEEE) "Squeal Bitch Squeal" He exclaims after each sharp torture he inflicts on her naked bottom. "Leave her alone you Sick Fuck" shouts his newest acquisition he refers to as Tori. She appears to be 19 or 20 to him but to be hon
Adult Time1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would consider having sex with?
no
2. What side of the bed do you usually sleep on?
All over it.
3. Have you had sex with anyone in your top friends?
Nope.
4. Pork, beef, or chicken?
beef, lol
5. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
Hahha,' the one drivin did....damn..
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
Nope.
7. Shower or bath?
Shower..But both.
8. Do you brush your teeth in the shower?
Sometimes, but not really.
9. Mexican or Chinese food?
mexican
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Hmm.... Not sure...50/50.
11. Do you love someone on your top friends?
Yeah.
12. Do looks matter to you?
In a way, but personality really does change you're looks.
13. Love or money?
both
14. Credit cards or cash?
Cash... =) both
15. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn't?
sometimes
16. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 s
An Adult SurveyAn Adult Survey - Be honest. If you aren't honest then what is the point.
1) Ever been to a strip club?
many times
2) Ever been to a bar?
Yes
3) Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
once or twice :)
4) Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
nope
5) kissed someone of the same sex?
hell no
6) thrown up from drinking to much?
a couple times
7) had sex in a car?
yes
8) had sex in a park?
yes
9) had sex in a movie theater?
yes
10) had sex in a bathroom?
yes
11) had sex at work?
yes
12) Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
Yes
13) Bought something from an adult store?
ohh yes
14) Have you spent over $100.00 in one visit to the adult store?
many times
16) Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
definitely.
17) have you ever had a threesome?
yes.
18) Are your breasts real?
hmmmmmm
19) Have you ever kissed a stranger???
yes
20) Does anyone have naughty pics
Adult StoriesOne rainy night, Storm was working on a new project on his porn site in the other room. Brandi was in the bedroom watching TV and relaxing, getting tired she slips out of her clothes and gets comfortable.
She finds some porn to watch from the Porn4Porn collection of Storms and slips the bag of sex toys out. As the movie starts, Brandi is already touching her hard nipples and sliding her hand down her stomach to her hot pussy.
As she runs the tip of her finger across her clit a few times and then inside her pussy, she lets out this moan. Peaking Storms curiosity about the noise, he finds his way down the hallway and looks into the cracked door.
He stands in the door way for a few minutes getting aroused, watching his slut finger her pussy. Storm strips his clothes off and walks in the room, as he walks past the bed he leans over and kisses Brandi and reaches down to help finger her pussy, as he goes to sit down, Brandi grabs his hand and sucks the juices off his fingers. S
Adults Beware -- New Vaccine Guidelines ReleasedFrom Dr. Mercola website....... interesting
The Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices, a division of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), has released the 2007-2008 recommended immunization schedules for adults in the US.
The schedule includes 11 different types of vaccines for adults, including:
Tetanus, diphtheria, and acellular pertussis (Td/Tdap)
Human papillomavirus (HPV)
Measles, mumps, rubella (MMR)
Influenza
Herpes zoster (shingles)
Key changes in this year's recommendations include:
Varicella (chickenpox) vaccination is recommended for all adults that have no apparent immunity to the virus
Zoster (shingles) vaccination is advised for all adults 60 years of age and older, regardless of whether they have had a prior shingles episode
HPV vaccine is recommended for women over the age of 26, who have not already completed the three-dose series
It is recommended that flu vaccination be admin
Adult Games - Chapter 2 , If Ya Care To Read It ...might Be Nsfw So Be Careful!!!As I stand my knees go weak as you kiss me until my nerve endings are on fire, I want to drown in the way you surround me as you take my clothes off me kissing as you go, you then lay me down on the bed. Your hands run unchecked all over my body, learning every curve and hollow. You start kissing my neck and work slowly down my chest , going to each side to leave kisses on each of my breasts. Your tounge darting to each peak, teasing me until I can't stand it. I arch my back trying to get closer to you, but you keep moving further away. Your breath is hot on my skin, goosebumps cover my bare skin as you get closer to it. Your hands slide down my sides, working down to my knees as you slide to the inside of my thighs. They move closer to my center, but not quite touching yet. You start kissing down my stomach, working closer to where your hands are, my back arches high and my knees part hoping to feel you touch me.
You move to place your body between my legs and run
Adult QuestionsBody: ADULT QUESTIONS
1. Is there anyone on your top friends list you had sex with?
What kind of sex? Cyber, Yes. Phone, Yes. In real life, No.
2. Is sex best in the morning, afternoon, or night?
All the time is good :)~
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
I prefer the right, but sleep on the left as it is. (this is in the in bed already time frame. The opposite when looking at the bed)
4. Lights on or off?
off
5. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
ummmm no :(
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
nope thats all free
7. Shower or bath?
Bath... but don't have time too often
8. Do you pee in the shower?
Yup :)
9. Mexican or Chinese?
I've only had mexican, don't know any chinese I've been interested in.
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Aggressive :)
11. Love, money, or lust?
Lust, the rest comes later :)
13. Credit cards or cash?
Cards :)
14. Has there ever been anyone i
Adult Survey - Be HonestAdult Survey - Be honest. If you aren't honest then what is the point. Fill it out and re-post as a bulletin. Have fun.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1) Ever been to a strip club?
YES
2) Ever been to a bar?
YES
3) Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
YES
4) Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
NO
5) Kissed someone of the same sex as you?
NO
6) Thrown up from drinking too much?
YES
7) Had sex in a car?
YES
8) Had sex in a park?
YES
9) Had sex in a cinema?
NO
10) Had sex in a bathroom?
YES
11) Given or gotten road head?
YES
12) Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
YES
13) Bought something from an "adult" store?
YES
14) Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
YES
15) have you ever had a threesome?
YES
16) Are your breasts real?
YES BUT i DO NOT NEED INPLANTS AS i AM A GUY
17) Have you ever kissed a stranger?
YES
18) Does anyone have naughty pics of you?
YES
Adult Survey - Be HonestAdult Survey - Be honest. If you aren't honest then what is the point. Fill it out and re-post as a bulletin. Have fun.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1) Ever been to a strip club?
YES
2) Ever been to a bar?
YES
3) Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
YES
4) Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
NO
5) Kissed someone of the same sex as you?
YES
6) Thrown up from drinking too much?
Nope
7) Had sex in a car?
YES
8) Had sex in a park?
Nope
9) Had sex in a cinema?
NO
10) Had sex in a bathroom?
YES
11) Given or gotten road head?
YES
12) Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
YES
13) Bought something from an "adult" store?
YES
14) Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
YES
15) have you ever had a threesome?
YES
16) Are your breasts real?
YES 42DDD if you want to know
17) Have you ever kissed a stranger?
YES
18) Does anyone have naughty pics of you?
YES
19) Ev
Adult Game ;)There is at least one person on your FUBAR list that wants to fuck the hell out of you.
So lets play the Fuck or Pass! game.
The rules are simple... if you want to fuck the person who posts this, send them a message saying "Yep, I'd Fuck you."
SCARED? lol this sH!T's funny
YOU HAVE TO RE-POST THIS!! and see who replies.
There is at least one person on your FUBAR list that wants to
do u so!!!
Adult Game.....There is at least one person on your FUBAR list that wants to fuck the hell out of you.
So lets play the Fuck or Pass! game.
The rules are simple... if you want to fuck the person who posts this, send them a message saying "Yep, I'd Fuck you."
SCARED? lol this sH!T's funny
YOU HAVE TO RE-POST THIS!! and see who replies.
There is at least one person on your FUBAR list that wants to
do u so!!!
Adult GameThere is at least one person on your FUBAR list that wants to fuck the hell out of you.
So lets play the Fuck or Pass! game.
The rules are simple... if you want to fuck the person who posts this, send them a message saying "Yep, I'd Fuck you."
SCARED? lol this sH!T's funny
YOU HAVE TO RE-POST THIS!! and see who replies.
There is at least one person on your FUBAR list that wants to
do u so!!!
The Adult GameThere is at least one person on your FUBAR list that wants to fuck the hell out of you.
So lets play the Fuck or Pass! game.
The rules are simple... if you want to fuck the person who posts this, send them a message saying "Yep, I'd Fuck you."
SCARED? lol this sH!T's funny
YOU HAVE TO RE-POST THIS!! and see who replies.
There is at least one person on your FUBAR list that wants to
do u so!!!
Adult Friend FindersAdult Friend Finders has accounts on fubar, sending links to their site as profile comments. If you see any comments that look like this one, report the sending site to scrapper, so he can delete the account. The comment looks like a video, but if you click to play, it sends you out of fubar and onto the Adult Friend Finder site. It looks like they are only sending these comments to the newer members. It's against Fubar TOS, and is giving the wrong impression of Fubar to new members.
This is a screenshot, so the link won't work here
Adult Sites Lolhere we go...
i just got told if i ever broke up with my boyfriend
i should go to hotguys.com
lol
which i type in and it was an adult site
and this a 9 year old girl
told me that
lol
which she was trying to go to something else but type that in lol
she hit her head on the door and lost her mind
i can't stop laughing
its just to funny
Adult GameThere is at least one person on your FUBAR list that wants to fuck the hell out of you.
So lets play the Fuck or Pass! game.
The rules are simple... if you want to fuck the person who posts this, send them a message saying "Yep, I'd Fuck you."
SCARED? lol this sH!T's funny
YOU HAVE TO RE-POST THIS!!
Adult Game!There is at least one person on your FUBAR list that wants to fuck the hell out of you.
So lets play the Fuck or Pass! game.
The rules are simple... if you want to fuck the person who posts this, send them a message saying "Yep, I'd Fuck you."
SCARED? lol this sH!T's funny
YOU HAVE TO RE-POST THIS!!
Adult Game NsfwThere is at least one person on your FUBAR list that wants to fuck the hell out of you.
So lets play the Fuck or Pass! game.
The rules are simple... if you want to fuck the person who posts this, send them a message saying "Yep, I'd Fuck you."
SCARED? lol this sH!T's funny
YOU HAVE TO RE-POST THIS!!
Adult Game!There is at least one person on your FUBAR list that wants to fuck the hell out of you.
So lets play the Fuck or Pass! game.
The rules are simple... if you want to fuck the person who posts this, send them a message saying "Yep, I'd Fuck you."
SCARED? lol this sH!T's funny
YOU HAVE TO RE-POST THIS!!
Adult Onlythis shit is hella funny...
Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.
Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you eat it.
Q.) What does a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"
Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the
Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.
Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q.) What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.
'adult' Drinks...lmaoA woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they're
sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this
really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited
she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.
Aftera while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The
bartender brings the drink and puts the following items on the bar:
A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice.
The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.
"First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the
shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the
lime juice."
So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it. He
puts the salt on his tongue...salty but OK. He drinks the shot of
Baileys......smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks........this
is OK. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it....
In one second the
Adult ArgumentsI don't know sometimes why I bother, most...no 99.9% of the time its not worth it, I should just be like everyone else, block anyone who i have the slightest dislike to disagreement with. who cares about friendships, i mean in real life id just completely block out and never speak to a friend i disagree with or argue with once right?[read in the last line:sarcasm] Oh wait! no, when i take the time to get to know someone I like to try to salvage a friendship, since friendship is all about learning from each other.
Sometimes I wish I was insecure enough to be that mean to people, but I got over that in middle school.
I learned that name calling and bashing doesn't accomplish anything. Neither person is happier, it resolves nothing. Its pointless. The name caller is nothing but insecure, calling names only because they don't want to be called a name first. They are the ones who are REALLY insecure. If you weren't insecure, you'd have no need to try to make other people feel insecure
The Adult SceneTHEADULTSCENE is a new social network site. And with your help we can be the best site around. Myspace without the restrictions.Join Theadultscene!
Adult - Night Before ChristmasTwas the night before Christmas–
Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves
and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats,
ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the
whole works!
I’ve busted my ass for damn
near a year, Instead of
‘Thanks Santa’–
what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause
I work late at night.
The elves want more money–
The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and
goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and
Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that
things would get better
Those assholes from the
IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes–
if that ain’t damn funny
Who the hell ever sent
Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days–
they all are the pits
They want the impossible–
Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making
wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls…
Their arms,
legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo’s–
No request for them,
They want computers and r
Adult ChristmasTwas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat.
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook,
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy and I in the nude,
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner, and momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangey reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of the sled,
A sock in his ear and a bra on his head.
Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite,
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
Woa Shithead, woa Asshole, woa Stupid, woa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.
Look o
Adult Style Christmas..lolTwas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat.
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook,
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy and I in the nude,
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner, and momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangey reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of the sled,
A sock in his ear and a bra on his head.
Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite,
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
Woa Shithead, woa Asshole, woa Stupid, woa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.
Look o
Adult Night Before ChristmasTwas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat.
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook,
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy and I in the nude,
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner, and momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangey reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of the sled,
A sock in his ear and a bra on his head.
Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite,
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
Woa Shithead, woa Asshole, woa Stupid, woa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.
Look o
Adult Christmas - LmmfaoTwas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat.
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook,
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy and I in the nude,
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner, and momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangey reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of the sled,
A sock in his ear and a bra on his head.
Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite,
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
Woa Shithead, woa Asshole, woa Stupid, woa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.
Look o
Adult ThreesomeBeth and I have been out with the girls at the local bar and it is late and she doesn’t want to drive all the way home so she comes home with me. We come in the door still buzzed from drinking and turn on the TV. You had been watching the playboy channel and there are two girls on the screen going at it. I leave it there; standing by the couch we start chatting. I tell her that I want to do something with her hair and move around behind her as I gather her hair in my hands I lightly brush my finger across her warm neck. “Oh your skin is so soft.” I tell her. Then her soft scent reaches me. “Mmmm you smell good. What kind of perfume is that?” I ask. She giggles and tells me. I can’t resist touching her neck again. And I stroke it with my fingers. Then lean over and kiss her neck softly. She pushes her neck to me for more of the feeling. I slowly bunch her hair in my fist and tilt her head back. I suck on the skin of her neck and then gentle bite along her shoulder. She starts grinding h
Adult Action?found an adult alternative to myspace...
http://www.grindspace.com/grindspace/Rob123
Adult StoryEntry for March 12, 2007
ok i wrote a short adult story awhile ago and figured i could post it here. it is all fiction from my demented mind! enjoy!
You come in from a long day at work, and just want to relax. You take off your shoes and sit in your chair in front of your computer. You turn and log on and feel tense and tired, your eye lids are only half open.
You feel hands gently start to rub your neck and shoulders, and they make you start to relax and your head rolls forward to give better access. The rubbing gets harder and deeper and then the hands move down over your chest. The rubbing continues to rub your tits thru your shirt, but then you feel a mouth kissing and licking the back of your neck. A moan of pleasure escaped your beautiful lips. The hands on your tits move towards the buttons on your silk blouse, and then they grab each side and rip the shirt wide open as the mouth on your neck bites down and starts to suck hard. The hands pull down the cups of your lacy
Adult JokesSandpaper Sally
3 men went to a night club looking to pick up chicks.
One of the guys saw the hottest chick he'd ever seen.
"I'm gonna talk to her", he said.
"NO NO NO" said the other 2 guys. "She'll mess you up real bad!"
The guy went over and talked to her anyway. They talked for awhile and then went back to her apartment and started to get down to business.
2 minutes in he had to quit.
"I can't take it any more! It's too rough," he said.
"Alright," she said "I'll be back in a minute."
A couple minutes later she returned and they started again, now it was really smooth and nice.
"How did you fix that?" he asked.
"I picked the scabs and let them puss." she replied!
Adult JokesDoctor Dave
Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:
"Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go, Dave."
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:
"Dave.....
Dave.....
Dave, you sick bastard
You're a vet."
Adult JokesSuck an Orange
Lulu was a prostitute. One day there was a raid. All the prostitutes were lined up outside the police station as they took them in one by one.
As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street and was so ashamed, Grandma didn't know her occupation.
Grandma stopped to say hi, and asked what the line was for. Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh oranges to those waiting Grandma said wonderful, she loved oranges and got at the end of the line.
When the policeman got to the end and saw her, he was amazed. He said, "How the heck do you do this at your age?"
She said "I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and suck'em dry!"
The policeman fainted.
An Adult MethodOh - if you're upto it send me a picture with you cumming on one of my pictures.
Crude yes - but show me that you're serious and that may work.
Anyone got the balls?
Adultery/almostits fucked up that we've met
under these circumstances
while the both of us are already
involved in romances
and i love my girl
and i know u love your man
so i guess ther's no reason
for us to take this chance
other than the fact that we
both feel this attraction
we're trying to figure
addition without subtraction
meaning that we both want
more from each other
but we don't wanna risk losing
what we have with our lovers
we're in a catch 22
fighting off what we feel
fighting to seperate this
fantasy from real
but we're fighting a losing battle
a battle we can't win
because the fact that we're fighting it
means we're now in
it's just a matter of time
before our hands are forced
and we both submit
to what we feel is our course
and of course we can't deny
the way we make each other feel
is a feeling that when we feel it
feels way too real
we've kissed without ever
touching one anothers lips
and felt things from just a little
brush of finger tips
i even
Adults Only QuizDont be a Chicken
adult survey~~ dont be a chicken!!!LOL
1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
4. Pork, beef, or chicken?
5. Ever have to pull over on side of road to puke?
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
7. Shower or bath?
8. Do you pee in the shower?
9. Mexican or Chinese?
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
13. Love or money?
14. Credit cards or cash?
15. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn't?
16. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
17. What is the weirdest place you have had sex?
18. Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money?
19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
20. Ever
Adult RhymesRHYMES WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC 1st LINE.....
BUT LEAST ROMANTIC 2nd LINE :
* Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
but I only slept with you, because I was pissed
* I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother
* Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are
you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar
bowl's empty and so is your head!
* Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
* Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not
* I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
* I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
* My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you screwed up my life
* I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming
* My feelings for you, no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"
* What inspired this amorou
*adult / Nsfw *Most of my life I've done what others wanted me to do, now it's my turn to do what I want......
Don't get me wrong, I'll still help anyone if I can but...like I said....It's FunTime !
There will be many times I post ADULT or NSFW things on my page. They will be Marked as such. That way if you're not interested, Don't Look !
I'll be posting photos in albums, videos here in blogs, hell who knows, if you're in my area you may even get to cum meet me.
So have fun, fan, add, rate, oh yeah, NSFW pics and stuff you don't get points for, if you want to let me know you saw the pics and vids & you enjoyed them and want to see more of the "Shadoe Realm", just message me or comment, Thanks.
Shadoe Knight
Adult Free Chat!ClimaxXx Radio is new to fubar but we are not a new radio. We are Totally Uncensored,All Genre Radio, with dj's from around the world. We have a Adult Chatroom with lots of cool people to come meet. WWW.ClimaxXxRadio.Com or if you are a diehard fubar person try our lounge http://www.fubar.com/new_lounge.php?lid=55223 ClimaxXx Radio The One Place Where You Don't Have To Fake It!
Adults Only"Adults Only"
Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.
Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.
Q.) What does a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"
Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the
Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.
Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q.) What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost the same, they both take about the same amount of time, and in both cases if the rubber breaks, you're dead!
Adult Film Star Name....Craig thinks so too lol
Your Adult Film Star Name Is...
Tasty Treats
What's Your Adult Film Star Name?
The Adult ?HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID THIS WEEK? *No*
EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE? *Yes*
EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? *Yes*
EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO, WHY? *No*
DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX? *Yes Which girl don't!*
EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE? *Yes*
EVER FAKED AN ORGASM? *Yes*
DIRTY TALK, OR STFU? *Dirty Talk* YEAH BABY!
EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX? *No*
EVER MASTURBATE TO YOUR FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER? *No*
EVER HAVE A THREESOME? *Yes*
EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX? *YES*
EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX? *Yes*
HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKE? *NO*
WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE? *Don't know*
HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY? *Young*
DO YOU LIKE 69? *Yes Yes YES*
ARE YOU HORNY NOW? *always*
HOW MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS? *6*
DO YOU LIKE SEX IN THE CAR? *No*
DO YOU STILL TALK TO THE PERSON YOU LOST VIRGINITY TO? *Yes*
EVER BEEN WITH A CHEAT
Adult Toy Parties!Hi everyone!
Have a Pure Romance book party and get 15% of the total party sales in FREEEEEE STUFF!!
Check out my website WWW.SarahLlewellyn.PureRomance.com
Contact me today to get your books and order forms mailed immediately.
Thanks
Sarah
Adulterated ApolloDo I fear the sun,
or the dawn?
"What is love?" I asked staring through a stream of street lights and concrete sprawl
peppered softly by black and navy, the occasional bursting celestial flicker interrupting the monotony blur.
"Baby don't hurt me?" she responds and starts bumping her head Chris Katan style.
I hate that movie, but I'll let it slide for the moment.
"I'm being serious." I say as faux-melancholy as I can manage.
"Shit, why you asking me?" she pulls us into a parking lot after a few minutes, cranks the steering wheel with a wicked grin- and I'm flung against the cold glass of my own car.
Why the hell did I let this strange woman drive?
Oh right,
the promise of sugary sex,
and sour reality.
I just had to replace a wheel- she's going to throw a rod, and we'll be stranded out here waiting for a god damn tow truck with one wheel perpendicular to the rest.
Which,
I guess
isn't such a bad thing really.
A half hour in the serene early spring night
a
Adult Bed Time Stories On CdI have had many requests for a CD to be recorded of my erotic stories being read aloud
and fully recorded.
Since I have so many stories that I have written I will be recording the stories perhaps
3 or 4 at a time on a single CD and sell them as volume 1, volume 2, volume 3 etc.
Depending how well this goes it may give me the motivation to write some more of my
stories which I love to do so much.
After some guys have heard my voice message about the hypnotic CDs I have received
email from guys making the request to record the CDs while reading my stories. It does
sound like lots of fun and of course I will be speaking with a sultry voice to place more
sexuality into the stories that I have written.
Consider them as "bed time stories for adults".
Later today I will be recording a new voice message promoting the erotic stories on CD
so be sure to watch for that and listen to it.
Since we are not accepting credit card orders yet they will be sold on a first come,
Adult Bbw WebsitesI'm looking for advice. I'm contemplating either starting my own or joining a pre-existing bbw website where I can earn some extra cash. I figure heck.. I post them for free on this site and others I might as well make some $ from it.
Any suggestions, website info & advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Adult Toyscreated online adult store.
http://www.adulttoysrus.name/
Adult Party GamesNew Year's Eve is approaching and you are hosting an adult only party. You have the usual stack of board games, movies to watch and great food and drink. But this New Year's Eve you want to do something different. Try some of these party games for a fun filled evening.
1. Adult Belly Dance Competition - Have the women judge the men in an exotic dance contest this New Year's Eve! All you need are scarves and some exotic Arabic music. Have the men cover there faces with the scarves, pull up or take off their shirts to expose their bellies. Start the music and watch the fun begin. They could dance at the same time or one at a time for 30 seconds each. Have prizes for the things like the "most voluptuous", the "sexiest". Make sure there are enough prizes for everyone to win something.
2. Charades - Make it a New Year's Eve version of charades by acting out popular song, book or movie titles, events, or people that made the news during the year. Divide the group into 2 teams and deter
The Adult GameThere is at least one person on your FUBAR list that wants to fuck the hell out of you.
So lets play the Fuck or Pass! game.
The rules are simple... if you want to fuck the person who posts this, send them a message saying "Yep, I'd Fuck you."
SCARED? lol this sH!T's funny
YOU HAVE TO RE-POST THIS!! and see who replies.
There is at least one person on your FUBAR list that wants to
do u so!!!
Adult Party Games 1-601. THE MOST FAVORITE. ( For adults only.)
The player who manages in a fixed time to get as many kisses as possible is "the most favorite". The kisses are counted by the signs of lipsticks left on the players.
2. REAL MAN. ( For adults only.)
A player who manages to tie a kerchief on the lady's neck using only one of his hands may be called "the real man".
3. ROLL A BALL. ( For adults only.)
Usually several pairs take part in this game. Each pair is given 2 ping-pong balls. The gentleman must roll the ball from one sleeve of the lady's dress to the other. The lady rolls the ball through the gentleman's trouser-legs (from one trouser-leg to another).
4. PUTTING OF AN EGG. ( For adults only.)
In each pair the partners stand with their backs to each other. They have an egg between their backs (or a little bit lower). The object is to put an egg on the ground, so as not to break it. The pair which succeeds in it wins the game. Instead the egg you may a small rubber ball. In thi
Adult Party Games 61-12060. QUESTION - ANSWER. ( Questionnaire. )
Get ready 60 cards (10cm long 4 cm high). On 30 of them write the questions on 30 others write the answers. Hold the cards with the questions like a fan in one hand and the cards with the answers in the other. Ask the first guest whom would he/she like to answer his/her question. The guest answers that he/she wants to ask, c.f., Anna, draws out a card with the question and reads it aloud. Anna draws out the card with the answer and also reads it aloud. Then Anna says whom would she like to ask the question. She draws the card out and reads out the question. The person who is asked, draws out the card with the answer and reads it out. The game goes on until all the questions are asked and answered.
Questions:
1. Would you like to be a millionaire?
2. Would you like to find yourself in a harem?
3. Do you often visit restaurants?
4. Do you go to work with pleasure?
5. Can you give birth to an athlete?
6. Do you wear a wig?
7. Have you any
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Adult Talent Needed!!Needing help from all my fubar freinds and viewers!!
Really need anyone that has ever wanted to be part of the adult industry to contact me. These will be totally professional shoots parts done here and also in Cali. Benefits will include working in a professional environment, fair pay for your time, free 3 day trip to California, and 1 to 3 outfits to keep. Also the shoots that are done in Cali will include a top professional in the business, guiding you and giving on camera tips for your first scene. Contact me soon.. for an interview ..wanting to start shooting this summer.
Adults....I know I'm not the best looking person in the world or even on Fubar and I never will! I'm not conceited!And I don't go around this site looking to mark pictures that I don't like or because I think they show to much! And that would be because I'm an adult and I don't need to bring anyone or anything down to a childish level! I don't expect anything from our friends except that they be open minded to anything.We do respect others and their boundaries and we expect the same in return! We have never marked anyones pictures in this site whether they needed to be or not...its not like us! If we see something we don't like we just don't look at it...it's that simple!!! If you haven't noticed by now that we are very open
minded Please take note NOW! We don't appreciate our pictures getting marked when they follow the rules of this site! Like I said before If you don't like what you see just don't look! If you would feel better then tell one of us which picture needs to be marked NSFW and we
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Adult QuestionsWhat is your pubic hair style?
How many sexual partners have you had?
Have you ever given someone oral sex?
Have you ever received oral sex?
Have you ever had anal sex?
What is your favorite sexual position?
How often do you masturbate?
Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?
Have you ever had sex with someone of the same sex?
Have you ever taken or been in nude photos?
Have you ever been in a pornographic video?
Have you ever had multiple partners at once?
Have you ever watched porn?
Have you ever watch porn on your pc?
Have you ever masterbated to porn on your pc?
Have you ever been to a nude beach or a nudist area?
Have you ever watched or been watched having sex?
Have you ever had an orgasm?
Have you ever had phone sex?
Do you own any sex toys?
Have you ever faked an orgasm?
Have you ever paid for sex?
Do you participate in BDSM?
Do you enjoy rough sex?
Do You want to have Sexy with me ?
Are you going to repost this so I can answer
Adult Interaction, Anyone?Alright, So after a year or so of absense, I decided the regular old mommy blog bullshit is a little much for me. Mommy blogs, you ask? Mommy blogs are the stupid, insignificant blogs of the stay at home moms who not only have nothing better to do, but also have placed their children in the center of their universe. You all know thie kinds? Oh, little johnny pooped three times today, and then she gets 30 comments on the congratulations, and the other mommies who ask what color it was. Me on the other hand, I bitch and complain about the economy, current events, etc.....what do I get? "Oh, I don't involve myself in that sort of stuff so I can't really comment on that"
Bitch, it's just beyond your comprehension.
Adult PollTake the Naughty poll Quiz ....Where Meeting, Matching and Fantasy Cums Together
1. How old are you?Over 30
2. What is your sexual orientation?Straight
3. Have you ever given someone oral sex?Sure I have
4. Have you ever received oral sex?Yes, of course
5. How many sexual partners have you had?More than 15
6. What is your pubic hair style?Trimmed neatly
7. What kind of underwear do you wear?Boxer Briefs
8. Have you ever taken, or been in, naked photos?Yes, been in them
9. Have you ever been to a nude beach, or nudist area?Nope, I am modest
10. Do you watch porn?Yes, of course. Who hasn't?
11. Have you ever watched others, or been watched having sex?Both watched others and been watched
12. How large are you...ya know, in the pants?About 5 inches
13. Have you ever expirimented with another man?No, I'm straight as can be
14. What is your favorite sexual position?Girl on top
15. Are you circumcised?Yes I am
16. What gets you off fastest?Intercourse
17.
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Adults Acting Like Children!Immaturity? Why do adults feel the need to bash people that submit mumms. I feel there has to be a insecurity issue or just craving atention. I mean there are times I post crap to mumms, but it's usually when I am down or feeling low/depressed. I am sure this is the case with most adults. Also, I am sure they think it makes them special, like a class clown seeking attention. Whatever the case my be, I feel everyone should excerise Empathy & Sensitivity before posting.
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Adult Classes For MenSummer Classes for Men at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Friday, August 17th 2008
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
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Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Me
Adult Survey(1)
Is there anyone on your top friends list you would have sex with?
Um, I think all I have on my top friends are dead male wrestlers. It's amazing how they keep up their myspace accounts. I guess myspace must be big on the other side too!
(2)
Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
Yes please!
(3)
Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
As opposed to puking in the car???
(4)
Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No, but I've been offered a set of beads to show off my wee wee. Wait, wasn't Manhattan purchased for beads? Does that mean my wee wee is worth a lot? If I had any to spare, I would be on EBay right now.
(5)
Shower or bath while having sex?
Once again, yes please!
(6)
Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Why are you asking either or questions when it comes to sex? I'm just looking for someone who can live without a respirator for the 12 seconds it would take for me to do my thing.
(7)
Do y
Adult Sex ToysI'm here rockin with my girl and just came across a killer website. www.thepleasureparlorshop.com is a sex toy site with some pretty killer shit. The first page alone had stuff that blew me away( not to mention my girl blew me too for finding it) so i was REALLY blown. Anyway, i was gonna buy an item we liked and ended up getting four items for the money i thought i'd spend on one. SWEET. I can't wait for my stuff to get here so we can really get DOWN and DIRTY. Let me know if anyone checks it out. PEACE
Adults That Act Like Everyones Mother And A Spoiled Ass Child!i really dislike people who try to act like my mother when they are clearly not. Plus they also act like spoiled ass children aswell. all i got to say to that is get a life and stick to you own kind(age, sexual preference, and lifestyle status). all people like that want to do is start drama where it is not needed. OH, when you get called on your bullshit own up to it like an adult.
I DONT HAVE TIME FOR HATERS, FLAKES OR FAKES!!!
if you are one of these people dont bother talking to me or cominng near me cause i dont have time for your drama in my life.
I LIKE MY LIFE JUST THE WAY IT IS WITH OUT YOU IN IT.
Adult SurveyAdult Questions - Don't Be a baby
Curious....
(1) Is there anyone on your top friends list you would have sex with?
Yes
(2) Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
Morning (which is my afternoon, actually)
(3) Ever had a one night stand?
No
(4) Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No
(5) Shower or bath while having sex?
Shower can be fun. Bathtub is tight fit and the faucet hurts whoever is at that end
(6) Do you want someone aggressive or passive??
Depends, some of both
(7) Do you love someone in your friends list?
Yes
(8) Love or Money?
Love
(9) Top or Bottom?
They both have pros and cons
(10) Have you ever wanted to sleep with your best friend?
Maybe, but I've had a lot of best friends so be more specific
(11) Camping or a 5 star hotel?
I don't know. I've been camping already, but I've never been to a 5 star hotel.
(12) Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Hood of car on a dirt road
(1
Adult FilmsWussup? My name is Big Cuntre an I am on here as a recruiter. Me and my business partner are looking for beautiful women between the ages of 19-40. We are looking for women to star in adult films right now at this moment, in the 804 area of Virginia.We plan to expand our company into magazines, clothes, etc., keep in touch for more updates! The pay is great and it is also quick. The contracts state that you do not have to work with this company for any certain amount of time. YOU CAN MAKE $1000 FOR ONLY 9 HOURS! Work what you can and work in your free time. Need to pay off ya phone bill? Rent might be due? Need some extra cash in ya pocket? Or whatever else the case may be, this is where u need to come. If you bring in an extra girl, then u may be qualified for a bonus if your friend is also accepted into the company.SERIOUS INQUIRES ONLY! Get back at me to set up an appointment! It takes around 2 weeks to get paid because of the editing of the movie and the check is mailed in.Also loo
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Adult Site? I Think Not!When I 1st joined this site a little over 1 full year ago it was promoted as "The MySpace for ADULTS"!!
Why then is it that the adults here are forced to hide their N.S.F.W pics in private albums?
Sure, it is fine for those who have certain pics they only want to share with their fu friends and fu family. Or for the gold diggers who want to make a buck or 3 off their pics by charging REAL $ before they grant access. Which is fine their page, their pics, their choice as much as it is my choice to move along to another profile without rating adding or even fanning those members.
Anyway. I think the answer can be found by looking at the limp wrist pansy assed self appointed "moral policemen" that are allowed to remain on this site after they REPEATEDLY flag pics as NSFW EVEN after those same pics have been approved by the bouncers over and over and OVER again!! Solution?
Take the anonymity out of the equation. Make it where if I flag someones pic(s) as NSFW or someone flags mi
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Adults InteractingFollowing is a message I sent to a mumm writer that asked a pertinent question, and received some pertinent answers. I do not ever believe the GET THE FUCK OUT or SHUT THE FUCK UP answers or words to that effect are pertinent. That is just bullying, and it reminds me of children - thus almost shaking my faith in the Fubar promise that everybody I interact with as an adult, IS an adult. If Fubar is not assured of this, perhaps they need to drop their promise to me that leads me to speak as freely as I do on many topics in blogs and mumms.
==========================
Too bad your mumm got taken down, or moved, or you deleted it, or whatever. For me part of being an adult online with other adults will include some form of sensuality every once in awhile - now whether that is defined as porn or not would entirely be in the mind of the receiver. But I do certainly allow myself more freedom of expression with the solemn guarantee of Fubar in my mind that EVERYBODY is an adult here. I c
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