Fubar Blog Posts 2

Barbie And Ken's Letter To Santa
Listen you fat troll, I've been saving your ass every year, being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in December and dressing in fake Chanel at sappy tea parties. I hate to break it to ya', Santa, but it's pay back time. There had better be some changes around here, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown, and trust me, you don't wanna be around to smell it. These are my demands for Christmas 2006: 1. Sweat pants and an oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker in hot pink bikinis. Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and Velcro up your butt? I don't suppose you do. 2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. That cheap-o molded underwear some genius at Mattel came up with looks like cellulite! 3. A REAL man... I don't care if you have to go to Hasbro to get him, bring me GI JOE. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me-Elmo over that pathetic bump of a boy toy, Ken. And what was up with that earring anyway? HULLO!?! 4. It's

Barbie Writes To Santa
Barbie c/o Mattel, Inc. El Segundo, CA 90245 Santa Claus North Pole, North Pole December 23, 1996 Dear Santa: There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list for 2006: A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and Velcro crawling up your butt? Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite! A REAL man ... maybe GI Joe. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me Elmo over that wimped-out excuse for a boytoy, Ken. And what's with that earring, anyway? If I'm gonna have to suffer with him, at least make him (and me) anatomically correct. Ar

Barbara (ward) Stevens
Barbara (Ward) Stevens, 91, died Saturday, Dec. 23, 2006, at the Presidential Oaks Nursing Home in Concord. She was a resident there for 14 years and was a longtime volunteer in the gift shop. Barbara was a lifelong resident of Contoocook and the daughter of the late Gardner M and Ida J (Hazzard) Ward. Barbara was predeceased by her husband, Harry A. Stevens, who died in June 1972, and by her brother Harvey Ward. Barbara worked for many years at Blue Cross Blue Shield in Concord before her retirement in March 1980. She was a member of Contoocook United Methodist Church, Golden Group of Hopkinton and Riverside Rebekah Lodge 22 of Contoocook. Barbara was crowned Miss Presidential Oaks in May by Miss New Hampshire Emily Hughes. She prided herself on being the same age as the Hopkinton Fair and attended every fair but the last two. She spent many hours knitting for her family, who never had to worry about cold hands. Barbara was a much-loved mother, grandmother, great-grand

The Barbie Syndrome
This is my writing..PLEASE do not steal it! The other day I asked about the barbie syndrome in a blog. I thought i would share my paper here: In today’s society, women have a hard time with their self image. Many things influence a female’s perception of herself, however it is how a person is perceived by others that makes the greatest impact. From the time a little girl gets her first Barbie she begins to idolize the doll. This subconsciously puts unrealistic ideas in to her head as to what she should aspire to be like. This unattainable image is portrayed on TV and movies, in magazines and music. What does the “ideal woman” look like? If you ask most men, the first thing that comes to mind is a tall, long legged, blonde haired perfect woman with perfect measurements. Boys are brought up from a young age to believe women are to be supermodel pretty, skinny flawless individuals. Why do men and women have such a skewed idea of what women should look like? It is ingrained into their

Barbie Doll
This girlchild was born as usual and presented dolls that did pee-pee and miniature GE stoves and irons and wee lipsticks the color of cherry candy. Then in the magic of puberty, a classmate said: You have a great big nose and fat legs. She was healthy, tested intelligent, possessed strong arms and back, abundant sexual drive and manual dexterity. She went to and fro apologizing. Everyone saw a fat nose on thick legs. She was advised to play coy, exhorted to come on hearty, exercise, diet, smile and wheedle. Her good nature wore out like a fan belt. So she cut off her nose and her legs and offered them up. In the casket displayed on satin she lay with the undertaker's cosmetics painted on, a turned-up putty nose, dressed in a pink and white nightie. Doesn't she look pretty? everyone said. Consummation at last. To every woman a happy ending.

Bar-b-q Rain
PROMPT: Write a poem about rain. You know that sizzle before the storm when rain falls like pins from heaven Mother Nature is at the grill? Yeah, you do, too You may not know you know it You do Just give a listen next time it gets to pouring Felines and Canines galore falling to the ground and sounding like hunks o' juicy meat cracklin' over coals

Barbaro Loses Battle
KENNETT SQUARE, Pa. (AP) -- Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro was euthanized Monday after complications from his breakdown at the Preakness last May. "We just reached a point where it was going to be difficult for him to go on without pain," co-owner Roy Jackson said. "It was the right decision, it was the right thing to do. We said all along if there was a situation where it would become more difficult for him then it would be time." Roy and Gretchen Jackson were with Barbaro on Monday morning, with the owners making the decision in consultation with chief surgeon Dean Richardson. It was a series of complications, including laminitis in the left rear hoof and a recent abscess in the right rear hoof, that proved to be too much for the gallant colt, whose breakdown brought an outpouring of support across the country. "I would say thank you for everything, and all your thoughts and prayers over the last eight months or so," Jackson said to Barbaro's fans. On May 20, Barbaro

Barbaro
You are a great champion, when you ran the ground shook, and the sky opened, mere mortals parted, and you met me in the winners circle, and i layed a blanket of flowers on your back. I just got the news that Barbaro, was put down. While i am glad he is out of his misery I cannot but think about the loss the world of horse racing has taken. Hands down Barbaro was probably the best horse that thoroughbred racing has seen in a long time. He was a horse that regardless of what you asked of him he would give it too you. Besides his speed, endurance, and pure elegance he was a horse of great heart, wanting nothing more then to please his those that loved him, which in the end, happened to be ninety percent of the United States of America. It is said that Horse Racing is the Sport of Kings. but just about every redblooded American, whether they were rich or poor, famous or infamous, they knew who Barbaro was. I have not had a chance to sit down and read the article yet

Barbie
Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Dallas market: " Highland Park Barbie" This princess Barbie is sold only at Northpark. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a McMansion on Beverly Drive. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version. " Plano/Allen Barbie" The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. " Oak Cliff Barbie" This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ...unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

Barbwire Rose
I see you as a beautiful rose looking into ur eyes I see a bloosm full of life Your skin soft as petals A tingle sensation goes through me when i touch Your aroma goes into my nose to my lungs filling them with pleasure Those lips colored deep red for passion When the petals fall there is nothing left except ur cold barbwire stem When you hold me the thorns piercing my skin I'ts wrapping my body, chocking, digging my skin my blood flows out The thorns dig deeper in my skin scaring my soul My soul leaking going into my vains and pouring into the floor of blood When you go I will heal in the outside but the inside I will still have the scars forever they stay Again and again I will have more scars Even though I will die I cant stop The heartless thorns are not the ones killing me It's your beauty that causes my pain my demise I cant stop thinking about your beauty I want to touch and hold even though I feel pain I cant let go. In ot

51% Barbie, A Little Scary Lol
i am barbie Body: [ ] You own over 10 bottles of nail polish [ ] You own a designer purse [x] You own perfume that cost over $60 [x] You had/have fake nails [x] You have more body/hair products than you can use [ ] Your pet is a chihuahua/Pomeranian/Yorkshire Terrier/Siamese [ ] You have/had clothes/shoes/accessories for your pet [x] You have enough clothes to cover an entire refugee camp. [x] You have enough pictures to create your own wallpaper. [x] You have/had a pink comforter, carpeting, walls or sheets. Total: 6 Do you: [x] Have a hair color that is not your natural color [x] Have "blonde moments" at least once a day [x] Buy stuff because it's awesome and then never wear it [x] Constantly keep your phone at your side [x] Dance around in your room when nobody else is home [ ] Have a name for your car [x] Know what celebrity is dating who and who broke up this week [x] Refuse to go out in public without makeup [ ] Prefer to be called "princess" Total So

The Barbados Gospel Festival
THE BARBADOS GOSPEL FESTIVAL Place: Barbados Date: May 19 - May 27, 2007 Comments: Celebrating fifteen years of excellence. Dedicated to Barbados, the Caribbean and the international community, the Barbados Gospelfest maintains a standard of excellence second to none, and has become a vital festival fixture for the region at large. Our commitment to people has guaranteed growth and longevity, and a new opportunity to touch lives each year. Barbados Gospelfest AWESOME 2007 promises to be another world-class production, featuring top local, regional and international gospel talent.

Barbies You Won't See In Stores!
1. Scratch and Sniff Barbie (Use your imagination...we're not saying a word.) 2. Crash Test Barbie 3. Opera Barbie (complete with the horns and the brass brassiere) 4. Marie Antionette Barbie (with removable head; guillotine included) 5. Hiroshima Barbie (just a shadow of her former self) 6. Enron Barbie (Originally sold for $29.95, but now you can't give her away.) 7. Frozen Barbie on a Stick (in your grocer's frozen food section) 8. Divorce Barbie (includes the house, the car, and half of Ken's crap) 9. Broken Bungee Barbie 10. FrankenBarbie (green Barbie with bolts through her neck) 11. Shock Therapy Barbie (car battery and wires included) 12. Samuel L. Jackson Ken (He'll get medieval on your a**.) 13. Manic Depressive Barbie (with a set of Oriental throwing knives) 14. Biker Barbie (with leather jacket, tattoos, and red bandana) 15. Cheesehead Barbie (Wisconsin's best) 16. Dogsled Barbie 17. Peg Leg Barbie 18. Eye Patch Barbie 1

Barbie Is An Egotistical Glorified Slut!!
I just wanna know why girls always have to be perfect and flawless. You can look at things two ways - It can be cute or it can be a flaw. I think the freckles on my bottom lip is cute. If I were a Barbie doll though, I would be thrown in the slightly imperfect pile. That is what guys do most of the time when picking a girlfriend BUT you can go with your hussy, fake personality, good looking girls and bitch about how she doesn`t treat you right and how you never have anything to talk about. Just remember the only thing that made you let that one girl go - that girl that could have made you happy was because of the fact that she was slightly imperfect because of a freckle or because she had too short of hair, too long of hair, was too pale, too dark, too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, ect. So, if me having freckles, being too tall, having too big of boobs, having a ghetto booty, the fact I can`t cook, I don`t like wearing makeup, having my own opinion, being a little bit blunt

Bar-bitching...
so my bar is so empty right now and im really bored... glad my boss doesnt care if im on my lap top at work... decided i needed another salute today and im making it up right now... this bar-bitch needs one surrounded by alcahol lol... stay tuned for the salute! there we go.... got it done... man you know im bored now...

Bar-bitching
So as per usual... im bartending today.... not much going on... my boss was tanked beyond belef but in an awesome mood. she was singing and dancing arouond the bar and i couldnt help but to giggle.... anyways... pretty bored.. . had dave get me alcahol... i dropped a brand new bottle of Jeager and watced in slow motion waiting for it to shatter and splash all over the bar... bounce? yes ... i believe it did.... ::take a deep breath:: thank jebus for rubber bar mats... had it fallen 3 inches closer to me it would have shattered all over the cement floor... and i wouild have hated cleaning that up... plus... i probably would have been covered in jeager and i doubt i would have liked that much.. Buried at PhotoCasket.com Buried at PhotoCasket.com Buried at PhotoCasket.com

Barbie Dolls
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the sales person, "How much is the Barbie on the display window?" The salesperson answers, "Which one? We have: Work out Barbie for $19.95 Shopping Barbie for $19.95 Beach Barbie for $19.95 Disco Barbie for $19.95 Divorced Barbie for $265.95 The amazed father asks: "What? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the other's are only $19.95?" The salesperson annoyingly answers: "Sir..., "Divorced Barbie comes with : Ken's House, Ken's Car, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer and....One of Ken's Friend's" 2:25 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Barbecued Chicken Breasts With Spicy Peach Glaze
The perfect summer dish, this chicken is even better served cold the next day. Ingredients Serves 8 * 1 cup peach preserves, or jam * 1 large clove garlic, minced (1 teaspoon) * 2 tablespoons olive oil * 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon soy sauce * 1 tablespoon dry mustard * 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper * 1 teaspoon salt, plus more to taste * 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper * 4 chicken breasts, (about 5 pounds), split * 4 ripe peaches, cut in half and pitted Directions 1. Preheat grill to medium hot. In a medium mixing bowl, combine preserves, garlic, olive oil, soy sauce, dry mustard, cayenne pepper, salt, and black pepper, and mix well to combine. 2. Sprinkle chicken breasts with additional salt and pepper, and place, skin side down, on the grill. Cook the chicken about 10 minutes on each side before brushing the upturned side with glaze. Continue cooking chicken for another 10 to 12 minutes, turning it every 3

Barbecue Ribs With Special Barbecue
Baby back ribs (1 slab per person) 1/4 cup red wine vinegar or lemon juice 1 stick butter, melted 1 clove garlic, crushed 1 onion, grated Remove skin from back of ribs. Cut a small slit between each rib. Mix vinegar, butter, onion and garlic together and use mixture to season ribs on both sides. Place ribs on a preheated grill and close the cover. Turn ribs every 20 minutes and baste with Barbecue sauce until tender. SPECIAL BARBECUE SAUCE: 1/2 stick butter, melted 1 green pepper, chopped 1 onion, chopped 3-4 cloves garlic, pressed 1/2 cup celery (with leaves), chopped 1 (16 oz.) can crushed tomatoes 1 (12 oz.) can thick tomato paste 1/2 can water, from tomato paste can 1 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce 1 tsp. salt 2 tbsp. red wine vinegar 2 tbsp. prepared yellow mustard 4 dashes Tabasco sauce 8 peppercorns 1/4 tsp. ground cumin 8 coriander seeds 1/4 tsp. oregano 2 tbsp. molasses 4 tbsp. brown sugar 1 bay leaf 1/4 tsp. celery seed Melt butter in medium sa

Barbecue Ribs With Special Barbecue Sauce
Baby back ribs (1 slab per person) 1/4 cup red wine vinegar or lemon juice 1 stick butter, melted 1 clove garlic, crushed 1 onion, grated Remove skin from back of ribs. Cut a small slit between each rib. Mix vinegar, butter, onion and garlic together and use mixture to season ribs on both sides. Place ribs on a preheated grill and close the cover. Turn ribs every 20 minutes and baste with Barbecue sauce until tender. SPECIAL BARBECUE SAUCE: 1/2 stick butter, melted 1 green pepper, chopped 1 onion, chopped 3-4 cloves garlic, pressed 1/2 cup celery (with leaves), chopped 1 (16 oz.) can crushed tomatoes 1 (12 oz.) can thick tomato paste 1/2 can water, from tomato paste can 1 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce 1 tsp. salt 2 tbsp. red wine vinegar 2 tbsp. prepared yellow mustard 4 dashes Tabasco sauce 8 peppercorns 1/4 tsp. ground cumin 8 coriander seeds 1/4 tsp. oregano 2 tbsp. molasses 4 tbsp. brown sugar 1 bay leaf 1/4 tsp. celery seed Melt butter in medium sa

Barbeque Season!! -thanks Ruby!
From my friend Ruby.. I have to AGREE with this one!! Ha ha! After many long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to spring and BBQ season. Therefore, it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this outdoor cooking ritual, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events is put into motion: Routine: 1. The woman buys the food. 2. The woman makes a salad, prepares vegetables, and makes dessert. 3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - drink in hand. Here comes the important part: 4.THE.....MAN.....PLACES.....THE.....MEAT.....ON.....THE.....GRILL. More routine: 5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

Barbecued Country Style Pork Ribs
BARBECUE SAUCE: 1/2 c. cooking oil 3/4 c. chopped onion 3/4 c. ketchup 3/4 c. water 1/3 c. lemon juice 3 tbsp. sugar 3 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce 2 tbsp. French's prepared mustard 1 tbsp. liquid smoke 2 tsp. salt 1/2 tsp. black pepper Cook onion in oil until soft. Add remaining ingredients. Simmer 15 minutes. Brown country style pork ribs on rack under broiler. Brown on both sides. This is real important. It gets rid of most of the fat. Place ribs in large baking pan that has a lid. Pour sauce over ribs. Cover. Bake in 350 degree oven for 2 hours or until tender.

Barbie
A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. "How much is that Barbie in the window?", he asks the shop assistant. In a manner she responds, "Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00. " The guy asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others ? "That's obvious," the assistant states, "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture... "

Barbie Bondage
Barbie bondage" can refer to one of three concepts, depending on context. Used figuratively, "Barbie bondage" is a metaphor for girls and young women adapting, partly due to outside influence, to the stereotypical bubble-brained, glamour-obsessed gender role that Barbie dolls are said to promote. Used in a more literal sense, "Barbie bondage" refers to actual Barbie dolls being bound. In one sense this can be a humorous connotation to the fact that new Barbie dolls are secured very tightly to the cardboard backing of the boxes they are sold in, by twist-ties. In another sense, this refers to Barbie dolls being bound and/or dressed in fetish clothing to purposely evoke a connotation with BDSM. This can be done as a form of art, a way of protesting against Mattel's purported ultra-capitalism and stereotypes, or simply as a sexual fantasy.

Barbecued Pork Ribs
Barbecued Pork Ribs Happy Fourth! The magic of these ribs -- well, besides their luscious texture and incredible flavor -- is that you can prep them before your party so that a quick trip to the grill is all they'll need once guests arrive. Credit: Lifestyle Cooks Servings: 6 Ingredients: Ribs * 2 quarts beef broth * 1/4 cup red wine vinegar * 2 teaspoons ground cumin * 1 teaspoon garlic powder * 2 tablespoons tomato paste * 1 tablespoon molasses * 1 teaspoon salt * 3 pounds baby back pork ribs Sauce * 1/2 cup chili sauce * 1/4 cup honey * 1/2 cup ketchup * 2 tablespoons steak sauce * 1/4 cup orange juice * 2 tablespoons tomato paste * 1 tablespoon garlic, crushed * 2 teaspoons paprika * 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce * 1/2 teaspoon dried mustard Directions: Prepare the ribs: Combine all ingredients, except for the ribs, in a large stock pot or Dutch oven. He

Barbecued Jerk Chicken With Tropical Salsa
Serves: 4 Hands-OnTime: 25 Minutes Total Time: 25 Minutes What you need: 1 (16 ounce) package boneless skinless chicken breast halves 1/2 cup Market Pantry™ Caribbean jerk marinade 1 cup refrigerated mango peach salsa 2 tablespoons cilantro, chopped 1/2 small banana, diced What you do: 1 Combine chicken and marinade; cover. Refrigerate until ready to grill. 2 Heat grill. 3 In a medium bowl combine salsa, cilantro and banana. Refrigerate until serving time. 4 When ready to grill, place the chicken over medium heat; cover. Cook for 15 to 20 minutes, turning once, until chicken is no longer pink. Brush frequently with marinade during the first 10 minutes of cooking. Serve with salsa. Submitted by: SuperTarget Nutrition Info (per serving) Calories 219 (6% from fat) | Protein 26.3g | Fat 1.5g (sat 0.4g) | Carbohydrate 19.5g | Fiber 0.3g | Cholesterol 66mg | Sodium 1148mg

Barbecued Chicken Nachos
Tortilla chips strut extra fixin’s for barbecue time! Prep Time:10 min Start to Finish:20 min Makes:8 servings 16 cups corn tortilla chips 3 cups cut-up cooked chicken 1 1/3 cups barbecue sauce 2 cans (15 ounces each) chili beans in sauce, undrained 2 cans (2 1/4 ounces each) sliced ripe olives, drained 2 large tomatoes, chopped (2 cups) 6 cups shredded Colby-Monterey Jack cheese (24 ounces) 1. Heat coals or gas grill for direct heat. Spray two 30x18-inch pieces of heavy-duty aluminum foil with cooking spray. 2. Spread tortilla chips on centers of foil pieces. Mix chicken and barbecue sauce. Spoon chili beans, chicken mixture, olives, tomatoes and cheese on chips. 3. Wrap foil securely around tortilla chips. Cover and grill foil packets, seam sides up, 4 to 6 inches from medium heat 8 to 10 minutes or until cheese is melted. Nutrition Information: 1 Serving: Calories 410 (Calories from Fat 235 ); Total Fat 23 g (Saturated Fat 10 g); Cholesterol 65 mg; Sodium 1110 mg

Barbecued Texas-style Beef Brisket
1 (4-pound) beef brisket, trimmed 2 tablespoons dark brown sugar 2 tablespoons kosher salt 4 tablespoons paprika 2 teaspoons granulated garlic powder 1 tablespoon granulated onion powder 1 1/2 teaspoons ground black pepper 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper 2 teaspoons ground cumin Mesquite wood chips Barbecue Sauce, recipe follows Set the brisket on a large sheet of plastic wrap. In a medium bowl combine the dark brown sugar, kosher salt, paprika, granulated garlic, granulated onion, black pepper, cayenne pepper and cumin. Rub the mixture onto the brisket and wrap tightly in the plastic wrap. Place on a baking sheet and refrigerate for at least 6 hours or up to overnight. Remove the meat from the refrigerator and let come to room temperature. Soak mesquite wood chips in a large bowl of water for 1 to 2 hours. Remove, drain and set aside. Remove the meat from the refrigerator and let come to room temperature. Prepare a stove-top smoker according to the manufacturer's instructio

Barbecued Tuna And White Bean Salad
Barbecued Tuna and White Bean Salad On a simmering hot day when a heavy meal just won't do, try this light and luscious grilled-tuna salad. It's also the perfect dish to pack for a picnic lunch. Credit: BBQ Food by Kay Scarlett Servings: 4 to 6 Ingredients: * 14 ounces tuna steaks * 1 small red onion, thinly sliced * 1 tomato, seeded and chopped * 1 small red pepper, thinly sliced * 2 (14-ounce) cans cannellini beans * 2 garlic cloves, crushed * 1 teaspoon chopped thyme * 4 tablespoons finely chopped Italian parsley * 1 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice * 1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil * 1 teaspoon honey * 4 handfuls arugula Directions: Place the tuna steaks on a plate, sprinkle with cracked black pepper on both sides, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until needed. Combine the onion, tomato and pepper in a large bowl. Rinse the cannellini beans under cold running water for 30 seconds, drain and add to t

Barbecue
Barbecue ------------------------- A man and his wife were working in their garden 1 day and the man looks over at his wife and says "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue." With that, he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom. "Yes, I was right, your butt is 2" wider than the barbecue!!!" The woman chose to ignore her husband Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off, "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers: " Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie ?"

Barbecued Chicken Caesar Salad
Recipe Rating: Prep Time: 20 min Total Time: 32 min Makes: 4 servings 1/2 cup KRAFT Classic Caesar Dressing, divided 4 small boneless skinless chicken breast halves (1 lb.) 1 head romaine lettuce, torn into bite-sized pieces 1/2 cup croutons 1/4 cup OSCAR MAYER Real Bacon Bits 1/4 cup KRAFT 100% Grated Parmesan Cheese POUR 1/4 cup of the dressing over chicken in shallow dish. Refrigerate 20 min. to marinate. Drain; discard marinade. PREHEAT grill to medium heat. Grill chicken 10 to 12 min. or until cooked through (170°F), turning after 5 min. Cut into thin slices. TOSS lettuce with remaining 1/4 cup dressing, chicken slices, croutons, bacon bits and cheese.

Barbie Playground
Barbiiez Playground Come and join diz Sexi azz lette stripper at Barbiiez playground!!!! here is the link to the lounge.... COME HERE AND JOIN US.... THANK YOU TO ALL OF MY FANS AND FRIENDS OF C.T. JUST MESSAGE ME OR WHAT EVER TO CONTACT ME ASK ME ANYTHING YOU WANT IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. PLEASE KEEP IN TOUCH. THANKS PEACE Also go here click pic Main Lounge

Barbie's Christmas List
Barbie c/o Mattel, Inc. El Segundo, CA 90245 Santa Claus North Pole, North Pole December 23, 2004 Dear Santa: Listen you ugly little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list for 2004: Santa: 1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt? 2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap o

Barbie Girl
Barbie may not be the best role model for young girls - I read somewhere that if she was real, she'd be over six foot, 44DD boobs and a 24 inch waist - but she's a helluva lot better than Bratz. The store where I work stocks equal amounts of Bratz and Barbie toys but Bratz is a lot more popular. I don't have any kids but if I did, I'd rather she had Barbie than a Brat. Barbie can do anything - be a teacher, vet, doctor, pilot - as well as be a model, mermaid or singer. Bratz on the other hand, live to shop and be popular. There are no career dolls and they seem to chase after boys and clothes rather than actually do anything. Bratz are the toy industry's answer to Paris Hilton et al. Even the Bratz Babyz (sic) wear make up, uber skimpy clothing and writhe around at the touch of a button. Barbie may be a twinkie but at least she's harmless...

Barbecued Chicken Wings
1 1/2 pounds chicken wings 1 teaspoon salt 1/4 cup chopped lemon grass 8 cloves garlic -- chopped 1/2 teaspoon white pepper 1/4 cup minced cilantro root or coriander root 1 teaspoon turmeric This barbecue recipe is popular with street vendors. Combine the ingredients for the marinade in a blender. Rinse chicken wings in cold water. Place the chicken wings into a Ziploc bag with the marinade and leave in the refrigerator overnight. Barbecue the wings over medium hot coals for 5-7 minutes on each side (turning once, half way through) until they are cooked through and golden brown.

Barbecued Chicken In A Skillet
Cut up chicken Salt and pepper 12 oz. bottle pepsi 3/4 c. barbecue sauce 1/4 c. catsup Skin pieces of chicken. Season to taste with salt and pepper. In skillet, heat pepsi, barbecue sauce and catsup. Place chicken in skillet and simmer for 30 minutes with lid on. Remove cover and cook for another 30 minutes.

Barbwire Rose
I see you as a beautiful rose looking into ur eyes I see a blossom full of life Your skin soft as petals A tingle sensation goes through me when I touch Your aroma goes into my nose to my lungs filling them with pleasure Those lips colored deep red for passion When the petals fall there is nothing left except ur cold barbwire stem When you hold me the thorns piercing my skin It’s wrapping my body, chocking, digging my skin my blood flows out The thorns dig deeper in my skin scaring my soul My soul leaking going into my vanes and pouring into the floor of blood When you go I will heal in the outside but the inside I will still have the scars forever they stay Again and again I will have more scars Even though I will die I cant stop The heartless thorns are not the ones killing me It's your beauty that causes my pain my demise I cant stop thinking about your beauty I want to touch and hold even though I feel pain I cant let go. In ot

Barbecued Chicken On A Bun
1 whole 4-lb. chicken 1 1/4 c. ketchup 2 c. water 1 onion, finely chopped 1 tsp. salt 1 tsp. celery seed 1 tsp. chili powder or paste 1/4 c. packed light brown sugar 1/4 tsp. Tabasco sauce 1/4 c. Worcestershire sauce 1/4 c. red wine vinegar 6 Kaiser rolls Place whole chicken in large kettle, cover with water, heat to boiling and simmer until chicken is cooked, about 1 hour. Remove chicken from pan, cool and shred meat from bones. In large saucepan, combine ketchup, water, onion, salt, celery seed, chili powder, brown sugar, Tabasco, Worcestershire and vinegar. Add shredded chicken. Simmer chicken in sauce for 1 1/2 hours. Serve warm on rolls. 6 servings.

Barbecued Chicken With Honey Mustard Glaze
1 (8 oz.) can tomato sauce 1/2 c. orange juice 1 1/2 tsp. oregano 6 peppercorns 1 chicken, quartered or cut up 1/2 c. oil 1/4 c. vinegar 1 tsp. salt 1 clove garlic, minced Place chicken in shallow dish. Mix above ingredients and pour over. Cover and marinate 2 hours at room temperature or overnight in refrigerator, turning occasionally. Drain, reserving marinade. Grill chicken over coals until done, brushing with marinade and turning frequently. Just before serving, brush with Honey-Mustard Glaze. GLAZE: Combine 1/4 cup honey and 1/4 teaspoon dry mustard.

Barbecued Pork Chops
This recipe serves: 6 Ingredients 6 center-cut pork loin chops, cut 1/2" thick (about 4 ounces each) 1/2 teaspoon Cajun seasoning about 1/2 cup barbecue sauce Cooking Instructions 1. Preheat the grill or broiler. 2. Rub the pork chops with Cajun seasoning and brush with barbecue sauce. 3. Grill or broil for 5 to 8 minutes on each side, depending on thickness. Baste with extra barbecue sauce as needed. Serving Size: 1 pork chop Nutritional Information Number of Servings: 6 Per Serving Calories 193 Carbohydrate 8 g Fat 5 g Fiber 1 g Protein 25 g Saturated Fat 2 g Sodium 380 mg

Barbecued Country-style Ribs
Recipe for grilled and basted country style ribs. INGREDIENTS: * 3 to 4 pounds country-style pork ribs (not boneless) * 1 can (8 ounces) tomato sauce * 1 large onion, chopped * 1/2 cup dark corn syrup * 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce * 1/4 cup cider vinegar * 1 teaspoon salt * 1 teaspoon dry mustard * 1 teaspoon chili powder PREPARATION: Place ribs in a large Dutch oven or stock pot; and add water to the depth of about 1 inch; cover and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 1 hour. In 1-quart saucepan, mix together remaining ingredients. Simmer for 10 minutes. Drain ribs; brush with sauce. Grill, basting and turning frequently, for about 20 minutes, or until browned.

Barber
A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech "And what if I swallow it?!" "No problem" says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does!"

Barber Shop
We went to get the guys haircuts today and while we were there I was asking the kids what they would do if someone offered them a cigarette. Our daughter said she would tell them "No thanks I don't smoke or like it." So I asked her what if they keep asking you to or try to get you to smoke after you tell them that. She said "Stop asking because I am not gonna smoke" then she said she would walk away. Now, our son said he too would say no and if they kept asking he would tell them "Don't make me use my karate moves on you because I know karate!" We cracked up and so did the other customers in the room.

Barbecued Meatballs
Delicious meatballs in homemade barbecue sauce, great for an appetizer or family dinner. This recipe makes 6 dozen meatballs. INGREDIENTS: * Meatballs: * 3 pounds lean ground beef * 1 cup evaporated milk * 1 cup quick oatmeal * 1 cup fine, dry bread crumbs * 2 large eggs * 1/2 cup finely chopped onion * 1 teaspoon garlic powder * 1 1/2 teaspoons salt * 2 teaspoons chili powder * 1/2 teaspoon black pepper * . * Sauce: * 2 cups ketchup * 1 cup brown sugar * 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder * 1/4 cup finely chopped onion * dash liquid smoke, if desired PREPARATION: Combine meatball ingredients and shape into 1-inch balls. Place in a single layer on cookie sheets lined with waxed paper. Freeze until solid; transfer to freezer bags until ready to cook. To cook, combine sauce ingredients; stir well. Place frozen meatballs in a 13- by 9-inch baking dish; pour sauce over them. Bake for about 1 hour at

Barbie
Why do the makers of Barbie make the clothes so that your 5 year old can't put them on. Why are they so tight? I can't even get them on without a struggle. Barbie's clothes need to be made so that children of all ages, including their parents, can get these clothes on without fighting and wanting to pull the head off. Also it would help if her hips were smaller, they made her boobs smaller, why can't they do the same with her hips....clothes just don't go on easy on Barbie with them hips!

Barbara Walters Show
Barbara Walters of Television's 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked 5 paces behind their husbands, but there were groups that were trying to do away with this custom. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From Miss Walter's vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands and are happy to maintain the old custom. Miss Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?" The Afghani woman looked Miss Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation, said, "Land Mines."

Bar-b-que Sauce
2 c Onion, chopped 1/2 cup Wine vinegar 1/2 cup Bell pepper, chopped 4 ts Salt 1/2 cup Olive oil 1/4 tablespoon Louisiana hot sauce 4 cloves Garlic, chopped 1 1/2 cup Dry red wine 2 cup Ketchup 1/2 teaspoon Celery seed 2 tablespoon Parsley, dried 1 cup Steak sauce 2 tb Lemon juice Saute onions and bell pepper in olive oil. Add garlic, wine and the rest of the ingredients. Bring to a boil. Cover, then cook over a low fire for at least 2 hours. Use on finished barbecue, NOT AS A BASTING SAUCE.

Barbara's Punishment
Barbara's Punishment by Hotciao © I was excited. Tonight would have been the night I had been waiting for quite some time. Frank had given me all necessary instructions, and I was willing do my part to help him to punish his slutty slave, Barbara. Frank told me Barbara is working as a teacher, and that she is a very respectable woman. She is in her early 40's, and she is hiding her submissiveness to the entire world. Nobody could ever tell it when seeing her shouting at the children of her class. She hid her second life very well. Until a week ago, that is. Frank had asked her to get fucked by the school director within a week and to bring him video taped evidence that she had complied to Frank's commands. She had done a lot of things for him, a long list of very nasty, potentially compromising things. But this time, she had said, "No, Master... I simply cannot... The guy is an old jerk... I cannot fuck him..." Frank had listened, and then, he had said coldly, "Well, we

Barbarian
Barbarian by Rangerbrook© He watched as the rider came down the path on horseback, there were flashes of light off the shield and the hilt of the sword. Smirking lightly, he took in the small frame of the youth. He let out a snort thinking that the youth could hardly lift them for his small frame. As the rider got closer, he got ready to leap onto the horse. He could easily take out such a small man. As she neared the cliffs a movement on the top of an outcrop ahead caught her keen eyesight. She smiles with a glint in her eyes as she felt the rush of energy through her that she always felt just before a battle. She watches as the stupid Barbarian looks like he is going to try to ambush her. "No finesse. Well you are in for a surprise my friend." She thinks. Just as she neared the outcrop she spurred her horse into a gallop, she let the rains go and drew her bow, notching an arrow nearly as quick. He felt a moment of shock as he saw the youth charge and draw a bow. He le

Barbecue Sauce
Barbecue Sauce Recipe By : Serving Size : 1 Preparation Time :0:00 Categories : Cajun Sauces Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method -------- ------------ -------------------------------- 3 cups Onions -- chopped 1/4 cup Honey 1 tablespoon Garlic -- chopped 2 tablespoons Lemon juice 1 cup Sweet pepper -- chopped 1 tablespoon Salt 1/2 cup Parsley -- dried 3 tablespoons Lea & Perrins 1 cup Dry white wine 1/2 teaspoon Mint -- dried 3 tablespoons Vinegar 1 tablespoon Liquid smoke 2 cups Ketchup 1/2 tablespoon Louisiana hot sauce Place all ingredients in a pot that is big enough to hold them. Bring to a boil. Cook, covered, on low heat for several hours.

Barbecued Ribs
Barbecued Ribs Recipe By : Serving Size : 4 Preparation Time :0:00 Categories : Cajun Main Dish Meats Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method -------- ------------ -------------------------------- 4 pounds Pork ribs -- cut in pieces 1 each Lemon 1 each Large onion 1 cup Catsup 1/3 cup Worcestershire sauce 1 teaspoon Chili powder 1 teaspoon Salt Dashes Tabasco sauce 2 cups Water Place ribs in shallow roasting pan, meaty side up. On each piece, place a slice of unpeeled lemon, a thin slice of onion. Roast in very hot oven, 450 F degrees, 30 minutes. Combine remaining ingredients; bring to a boil and pour over ribs. Continue baking in a moderate oven, 350 F degrees, about 2 hours, basting ribs with the sauce every 15 minutes. From "Talk

Barbequed Spareribs
INGREDIENTS: * 4 pounds spareribs * 3 tablespoons light soy sauce * 3 tablespoons dark soy sauce * 1/3 cup hoisin sauce * 1 tablespoon ketchup * 1 tablespoon red wine vinegar or balsamic vinegar * 2 teaspoons brown sugar * 2 garlic cloves, finely chopped * 1/4 cup honey dissolved in 1/2 cup boiling water PREPARATION: Place the spareribs in a shallow dish. In a small bowl, combine the light soy sauce, dark soy sauce, hoisin sauce, ketchup, vinegar, brown sugar and chopped garlic. Add the mixture to the spareribs and marinate in the refrigerator, covered, overnight.Turn occasionally to make sure the spareribs are completely coated. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Fill a shallow roasting pan with 1/2-inch of water and place in the bottom of the oven. Place the pork on a rack above the water. Roast the pork for 50 to 60 minutes, or until the ribs just begin shrinking and the internal temperature reaches 160 degrees Fahrenhei

Barb
Barb by istanbulnoir© She is the best contributor to Literotica. I don't know her and I do know her. I read her stories over and over and when she has taken me to the highest pitches of excitement that her prose can take me to, and when her words are no longer enough, I click on the link to her profile and scroll down until her photograph is on my screen and I wank to Barb's image, all 50 something years worth of her. She stands in her black basque with her lovely big boobs and her hourglass waist, her arms at her sides and the straps of her suspenders reaching down over her thighs and out of view. The picture is of her torso only. But it does not matter that she is legless and headless in the picture. I have never seen her face or her eyes and I don't know the colour of her hair. They change according to my mood as I dream of her, but these absences make it easier for me to fantasise that she is mine. The less of a person you know, the more of them you can imagine. And in im

64% Barbie
[ ] You own over 10 bottles of nail polish [x] You own perfume that cost over $60 [x] You had/have fake nails [x] You have more hair products than you can use [ ]You have enough clothes to cover an entire refugee camp. [ ] You have enough pictures to create your own wallpaper. Total:3 Do you: [x] Have/had a hair color that is not your natural color [x] Have “blonde moments” at least once a day [ ] Constantly keep your phone at your side [x] Dance around in your room when nobody else is home [x] Refuse to go out in public without makeup Total:7 DO YOU ADORE: [x] Makeup [ ] Glitter [x] The Color Pink [x] Shopping [x] Jewelery [ ] Mirrors [x] Chick flicks [x] Shoes [ ] Rainbows [ ] Unicorns [x] Disney Movies [ ] Candles [x] Flowers [x] Stuffed Animals [x] Purses [ ] Boots [ ] Starbucks Total:17 DO YOU SAY: [x] Whatever. [x] Oh my gosh/goodness/god [x] Hun/honey [ ] That’s hot [ ] Dunzo [ ] Darling [x] Psh [ ] Cutie [ ] Hottie [x]

Barbecued Chinese Chicken Lettuce Wraps
2 cups, 4 handfuls, fresh shiitake mushrooms 1 1/3 to 1 1/2 pounds thin cut chicken breast or chicken tenders 2 tablespoons light colored oil, such as vegetable oil or peanut oil Coarse salt and coarse black pepper 3 cloves garlic, chopped 1 inch ginger root, finely chopped or grated, optional 1 orange, zested 1/2 red bell pepper, diced small 1 small tin, 6 to 8 ounces, sliced water chestnuts, drained and chopped 3 scallions, chopped 3 tablespoons hoisin, Chinese barbecue sauce, available on Asian foods aisle of market 1/2 large head iceberg lettuce, core removed, head quartered Wedges of navel orange -- platter garnish Remove tough stems from mushrooms and brush with damp towel to clean, Slice mushrooms. Chop chicken into small pieces. Preheat a large skillet or wok to high. Add oil to hot pan. Add chicken to the pan and sear meat by stir frying a minute or 2. Add mushrooms and cook another minute or two. Add salt and pepper to season, then garlic and ginger. Cook

Barbecued Turkey
1 cup orange juice 2 tablespoons Gravy Master 1 clove garlic, mashed 1/4 cup wine vinegar Dash Tabasco [registered trademark symbol] sauce 1/2 cup butter or margarine, melted 1 turkey (8 to 9 pounds), thawed if frozen Directions: 1. Cut the turkey in pieces as you would a chicken, or ask the butcher to do it for you. (Discard neck and giblets.) 2. Arrange pieces in a single layer in a shallow pan. Combine orange juice, Gravy Master, garlic, vinegar and Tabasco [registered trademark symbol]. Pour over turkey, turning to coat all sides. 3. Cover and refrigerate overnight, turning turkey several times in marinade. 4. When ready to cook, drain turkey and brush lightly with melted butter. 5. Grill 4 to 6 inches from hot glowing coals for 40 to 45 minutes, turning turkey frequently and brushing often with orange juice mixture that is mixed with remaining melted butter. Makes 6 to 8 servings.

Barbies Christmas Wish List.lmao
Barbie c/o Mattel, Inc. El Segundo, CA 90245 Santa Claus North Pole, North Pole December 23, 1996 Dear Santa: Listen you ugly little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list for 1998: Santa: 1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt? 2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out

Barbies Letter To Santa..
Barbie c/o Mattel, Inc. El Segundo, CA 90245 Santa Claus North Pole, North Pole December 16, 2007 Dear Santa: Listen you ugly little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list for 2008: Santa: 1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt? 2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imit

Barbedwire
I wrapped a woman in barbedwire very carefully..all the while she was bound and gagged. Softly whispered to her "don't move". Slowly winding the wire as the sharp points dug in..pressed into flesh, indentations, a trickle of blood.. "Do Not Move". she tried not to breathe, a droplet of red from her firm breast, not what it should be I thought. Raising her to her tiptoes, "DO NOT MOVE" a whimper. Silence. I left.

Barbie's Letter To Santa
Dear Santa, Listen you ugly little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here by next Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list for 2008: 1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and Velcro crawling up your butt? 2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin? It looks like cellulite! 3. A REAL man ... maybe GI Joe. Hell, I'd take Tickl

Barbie's Of My Hometown (i Am Downtown Barbie Mixed With Regency Park & Northlake)
Anderson's Barbies.. which one are U? 81 North Barbie This princess Barbie is sold only at Chicos and Coplons. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version. Regency Park Barbie The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Mill Hill Barbie This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ...unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about. Northlake Barbie This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW conve

The Barber
A new enlistee had to have his long hair and sideburns cut. As he sat down in the barber chair, the barber asked, to his surprise, if he'd like to keep his sideburns. "Oh, yes!" he said gratefully. Whereupon the barber cut off the sideburns and said, "Here — catch!"

The Barber
One day a florist goes to the barber for a haircut. After the cut he goes to pay the barber..... I am sorry I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing a community service. The florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and one dozen roses waiting at his door. A cop goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber But the barber replies: I'm sorry I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service. The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and one dozen donuts waiting at his door. A Mexican cook goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber replies: I'm sorry I can't accept money from you I'm doing a community service. The Mexican cook is happy and leaves. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop guess what he finds there?................

Barbie Divorce
A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager "How much is that new Barbie in the window?" The Manager replied, "Which one? We have, 'Barbie goes to the gym'for $19.95 ... 'Barbie goes to the Ball' for $19.95 ... 'Barbie goes shopping for $19.95 ... 'Barbie goes to the beach' for $19.95... 'Barbie goes to the Nightclub' for $19.95 ... and 'Divorced Barbie' for $375.00." "Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00, when all the others are $19.95?" Dad asked surprised. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's House, Ken's boat, Ken's dog, Ken's cat and Ken's furniture."

Barbecued Chicken Burritos
These burritos are something of a Tex-Mex wonder: tangy barbecue sauce, some roast chicken (or rotisserie chicken) and vegetables, all wrapped up in tortillas. For the best taste, look for a fiery barbecue sauce without added corn syrup. Prep Time: 15 minutes Ready in: 15 minutes Yield: 4 servings, 1 wrap each Ease of Prep: Easy Recipe Ingredients 1 2-pound roasted chicken , skin discarded, meat removed from bones and shredded (4 cups) 1/2 cup prepared barbecue sauce 1 cup canned black beans , rinsed 1/2 cup frozen corn , thawed, or canned corn, drained 1/4 cup reduced-fat sour cream 4 leaves romaine lettuce 4 10-inch whole-wheat tortillas 2 limes , cut in wedges Recipe Directions 1. Place a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add chicken, barbecue sauce, beans, corn and sour cream; stir to combine. Cook until hot, 4 to 5 minutes. 2. Assemble the wraps by placing a lettuce leaf in the center of each tortilla and topping with one-fou

Barbara Wahwah Is A Hoe
Barbara Walters reveals past affair with US senator By FRAZIER MOORE, AP Television Writer Thu May 1, 12:19 PM PDT NEW YORK (AP) -- After three decades of keeping mum, Barbara Walters is disclosing a past affair with married U.S. Senator Edward Brooke, whom she remembers as "exciting" and "brilliant." HMMMMM...dont you just love it when celebrities reveal they are just as fucked up as the rest of us? "exciting" eh Barbara? I bet he was..I bet he was.

Barbecued Roast Beef Sandwiches
Prep Time:30 min Start to Finish:30 min Makes:6 sandwiches Zesty Barbecue Sauce 1/2 cup ketchup 3 tablespoons white vinegar 2 tablespoons chopped onion 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce 2 teaspoons packed brown sugar 1/4 teaspoon ground mustard 1 clove garlic, finely chopped Sandwiches 1 lb thinly sliced cooked roast beef, cut into 1-inch strips (3 cups) 6 burger buns, split 1. In 1-quart saucepan, heat all sauce ingredients to boiling over medium heat, stirring constantly; reduce heat. Simmer uncovered 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. 2. Stir beef into sauce. Cover and simmer about 5 minutes or until beef is hot. Fill buns with beef mixture. Nutrition Information 1 Serving: Calories 340 (Calories from Fat 120); Total Fat 14g (Saturated Fat 5g, Trans Fat 1g); Cholesterol 60mg; Sodium 550mg; Total Carbohydrate 30g (Dietary Fiber 1g, Sugars 9g); Protein 24g Percent Daily Value*: Vitamin A 6%; Vitamin C 4%; Calcium 8%; Iron 20% Exchanges: 2 Starch; 0 Other Carboh

Barbie
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Colorado Market: Arvada Barbie She's perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is cause he's always hunting. Highlands Ranch Barbie This princess Barbie is only sold at Park Meadows Mall. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version. Englewood Barbie This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Colfax Barbie This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Pref

Barber Shop
Holy FLUFFY THE RHINO, I am stuck in TARARIFFIC & late for my appointment with my Barber, a SENILE COOT named SEAMUSBUFFALO (think is real name is ART). This guy goes MENTAL & is probably the ONE & ONLY PHYSCO barber in GEORGIA PEACH who goes into a RAGE when your late. I was late by like 3 minutes & he RAPSNAP at me(FIESTY fucker). I was joined at CUBBY's Trim shop by a few homies: a FITFREAK IN WUDEGOD, MATT, SCHAD (he's on ANTIDEPRESSANTS), MAJIK, JOHN SMITH JR (still drinking WHISKEY A GO GO), LONGHAIR RANDY, DARRICK, & SDAZTEC. We were shooting the shit with the barbers VEGASTONY & MANNISHBOY MARKOS when this SWEETEST SINNER of a MYLF named JENUHPHUR walked in looking for her puppy "MOO MOO". She had some AMAZING TA TA's and a SILLYAZZ & boy was she NAUGHTY. We never found her dog but we would have looked for TENNESSE TIGERS & PURPLE GOTS for this ANGEL of a SEXYMOMMA. But she left (probably to get her BOUNCY KITTY waxed) Well up next and I asked the barber to SPKIECOON my h

Barbecued Pork Ribs With Maple Rub
1. 2 pounds maple sugar 2. 1/4 cup salt 3. 2 tablespoons paprika 4. 1/4 cup freshly ground black pepper 5. 2 tablespoons fresh thyme leaves 6. 4 cloves garlic, minced 7. 2 lemons, zested 8. 1/4 cup olive oil 9. 4 (3 pound) racks of pork spareribs Nutrition Info Per Serving * Calories: 830 kcal * Carbohydrates: 53 g * Dietary Fiber: 0 g * Fat: 48 g * Protein: 43 g * Sugars: 48 g About: Nutrition Info [This link will take you outside Yahoo! Food] Powered by: ESHA Nutrient Database [This link will take you outside Yahoo! Food] 2. Cooking Directions 1. Combine sugar, salt, paprika, pepper, thyme, garlic, and zest; spread on a sheet pan; let stand at room temperature overnight so sugar will be hard and dry. Grind in food processor to fine powder. 2. Brush ribs with oil; lightly coat with sugar mixture. 3. Preheat grill or grill pan to medium hot; grill ribs, fat side down first, until meat is just com

Barbie Divorce
A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager "How much is that new Barbie in the window?" The Manager replied, "Which one? We have, ’Barbie goes to the gym’for $19.95 ... ’Barbie goes to the Ball’ for $19.95 ... ’Barbie goes shopping for $19.95 ... ’Barbie goes to the beach’ for $19.95... ’Barbie goes to the Nightclub’ for $19.95 ... and ’Divorced Barbie’ for $375.00." "Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00, when all the others are $19.95?" Dad asked surprised. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s car, Ken’s House, Ken’s boat, Ken’s dog, Ken’s cat and Ken’s furniture."

Barbi
If you are looking for Barbi then you might as well just leave...she is not here...I am me and this is what you get. If you dont like it the oh well this is just tough....I welcome all whom want to be friends and once we are friends I can be one of the best you have...hurt me and you might as well just never come into my life again....:) I am easy going for the most part and open minded...other than all of the above well enjoy life it is trully to short.

Barbie Girl - Aqua
Barbie Girl - Aqua - Hi Barbie! - Hi Ken! - You Wanna Go For A Ride? - Sure, Ken! - Jump In! - Ha Ha Ha Ha! I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere Imagination, Life Is Your Creation Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere Imagination, Life Is Your Creation I'm A Blonde Single Girl In The Fantasy World Dress Me Up, Take Your Time, I'm Your Dollie You're My Doll, Rock And Roll, Feel The Glamour And Pain Kiss Me Here, Touch Me There, Hanky-Panky You Can Touch, You Can Play You Can Say I'm Always Yours, Oooh Whoa I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere Imagination, Life Is Your Creation Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oo

Barbera Twins Gay
Join the World's Largest SEX and SWINGER Personals Community. Join for FREE. Compete Search Analytics is a must have SEO and SEM tool that sheds light on your competitors search and keyword strategy, and helps you optimize your ... ... barbera twins gay ... Gay Chat Java Gay Chat Free ... For those of you who prefer the more rugged look, the Barbera twins are for you. ... specifically for the gay mags and witch are “straight” photo shoots. ... 24 Responses to “Barbera Twins - hunk fitness models”. c0nnjame Says: ... ja, que gay pero e bueno the best o better that. tommy44o407 Says: ...

Barbie Escort
Join the World's Largest SEX and SWINGER Personals Community. Join for FREE. France Escort: Barbie. ... If you are looking for an escort blonde and refined, and high class standing, I am the woman. I have culture, I have traveled the ... Find tranny providers, shemale escorts, transexual escorts, reviews, services, models, erotic and sensual massage, pornstars, tgirls and strippers at ... Nov 7, 2008 ... Miami Exotic Escorts - Miami Escort Barbie. ... Miami Escort Barbie: 5

Barbie Gay Song
Join the World's Largest SEX and SWINGER Personals Community. Join for FREE. Funny Songs - The Gay Barbie Song.mp3. ... Title: Funny Songs - The Gay Barbie Song.mp3. Author: kittycat44. FREE. Send to My Phone. Love it. Hate it ... Patrick Star and SpongeBob Squarepants sing THE GAY BARBIE SONG. You

Barber Shop Banter
I finally managed to visit the barber shop today. I like my barber shop. Frank has owned the shop for almost 30 years. He moved to Canada from Italy in the sixties and set his shop up here on the western end of Lake Ontario and watched a town grow up around him. He has a strong Italian accent but he's easy to understand and he'll chat if you want. He has four other full-time barbers that work with him and I've never had to queue for a haircut.Today, all the barbers were there with only one other client. Most of them were watching a soccer game on the T.V. and commenting on the game. One of the barbers, Luigi got off his chair and offered it to me with his usual big smile. Luigi is the oldest and his accent is even thicker. He speaks English well enough to carry on a conversation and to cut hair. He was snipping away when his cellphone rang. He chatted in Italian and then apologised when he hung up. "No worries, I'm in no rush".He explained that it's his grandson's birthday

Barbie's 50th
Its about time this happened to her.... YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2010 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your Family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you... 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and Family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.6.

Barbwire Along The Walls Of A Shattered Heart
Its been a whie since I've tried my hand at poetry. I hope ya'll like and will comment. Barbwire Along The Walls of A Shattered HeartI try to understandBut things are hard to comprehendWhy can't I get you out of my head? Your always at the back of my mindDreams ... Memories...A single song on the radio...The past comes rushing backAlways so closeI can almost touchYet... so far awayNever can close that distanceMy heart feels so empty without youLoneliness surrounds meEven as friends are all aroundCan't find joy in the simple thingsDrink just so I can feelWords were saidNever can take backForever gone... A whisper upon the windAnd so I putBarbwire along the walls of a shattered heart. February 16, 2010

Barbwire Rose
I see you as a beautiful roselooking into ur eyes I see a blossom full of lifeYour skin soft as petalsA tingle sensation goes through me when I touchYour aroma goes into my nose to my lungs filling them with pleasure Those lips colored deep red for passionWhen the petals fall there is nothing left except ur cold barbwire stemWhen you hold me the thorns piercing my skinIt's wrapping my body, chocking, digging my skin my blood flows outThe thorns dig deeper in my skin scaring my soulMy soul leaking going into my vanes and pouring into the floor of bloodWhen you go I will heal in the outside but the inside I will still have the scars forever they stayAgain and again I will have more scarsEven though I will die I cant stopThe heartless thorns are not the ones killing meIt's your beauty that causes my pain my demiseI cant stop thinking about your beauty I want to touch and holdeven though I feel pain I cant let go.In other words beauty = pain

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Bar Comebacks
Quick Comebacks to use in your neighborhood tavern... What's shaking? "All four cheeks and a couple of chins." What's new? "Terrorists. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." What'd you like? "A reason to live. Give me another beer." Hey, how's the world been treating you? "Like a baby treats a diaper." What's the story? "The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending." Hey, there's a cold one waiting for you. "I know. If she calls, I'm not here." What's going on? "A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'" Whatcha up to? "My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall." How's life treating you? "Like it caught me sleeping with its wife." What's going down? "My butt cheeks on that bar stool." Pour you a beer? "Alright, but stop me at one... make that one-thirty." What's the story? "Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer." What's going on? "The question is what's going

Bar Curtains
Bar Curtains by Red Room © Our little theatre is a nice cozy little theatre that only sits one hundred people. We have a little service bar that has a serving window to the lobby, for the pleasure of our patrons. I have been the bar's manager for the last several years and I have tried to improve its appearance. The bartenders all now wear black pants and white shirts with a black patterned bow tie. All the liquor is now close to the top shelf, instead of the low cost standard bar brands. The old donated refrigerator has been replaced with a new black model along with a separate wine cooler, the walls have been painted to match the lobby, and there is a black wine rack along the back wall. There is a large forty-two inch high six foot wide and four foot deep wooden cabinet that holds all of our liquor and glasses. It is very visible in its location along the back wall between the wine rack and the refrigerator and it is the next thing that needs to have its look improved. I deci

Barcelona Ultras Stain Rangers Match
Barcelona Ultras Stain Rangers Match Written by BlueIsTheColour Friday, 09 November 2007 I got back from the game early this morning and having just got up have read some of the posts regarding the crowd trouble last night it seems the whole truth has not been told. At the very beginning of the game the Barcelona Ultras unveiled an Irish Tricolour banner along with a Catalan one. At this point it seemed as if the usual baiting was going on but this became much more than just baiting. During the first half the Barcelona Ultras proceeded to fly an Ira Flag. Please note that there were also three or four Tricolours with Celtic written on them scattered around the ground. Coincidence? I think not. As half-time came the Rangers fans in the area around where the Ultras were located had objects thrown at them and eventually one or two had enough and fought back. After a brief scuffle they were removed. This did not stop the Barcelona fans though, Still they continuously

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Barcelona, Spain -- David Villa Scored In Injury Time After Cesc Fabregas Netted A Brace To Give Barcelona A Dramatic 3-2 Comeback Win Against 10-man
BARCELONA, Spain -- David Villa scored in injury time after Cesc Fabregas netted a brace to give Barcelona a dramatic 3-2 comeback win against 10-man Sevilla on Saturday, equaling the Spanish pacesetters best league start ever with six straight wins. Eli Manning Limited Jersey . For 89 minutes, Sevilla looked set to repeat its feat from two weeks ago when it edged out Madrid with a similar defensive effort and counterattacking style. Piotr Trochowski, who netted the winner against Madrid, opened for Sevilla in the 26th minute, and Alvaro Negredo doubled the hosts advantage three minutes after halftime after a miscue by Barcelonas defence. Five minutes later Fabregas scored from long range to start Barcelonas rebound, but Sevilla held firm until midfielder Gary Medel was shown a direct red for head-butting Fabregas in the 72nd. Barcelona pressed its advantage and Fabregas took Lionel Messis pass inside the area and toed his shot by goalkeeper Andres Palop before the defence had time to

Barcelona
Barcelona jerseyMessi has played the game for Barcelona (the official microblogging data) 378 games, scoring 313 goals; Argentine national team played 79 games, 32 goals harvest; Club + national team Messi played game 457 games, scored 345 goals., averaging 0.75 goals. Maradona Boca Juniors and Newell's Old Boys, Seville, Naples (official micro-Bo), Barcelona (official microblogging data) and Argentinos Juniors effect played club career official game 588 games, scoring 311 balls; national team, Maradona played 91 games and scored 34 goals Club + national team Diego Maradona played in an official event 679 games, scored 345 goals, averaging 0.5 goals. Currently, Macy's from the 26th birthday there more than a month, scored 345 goals shared nine years. Maradona career 22 years retired, scored 345 goals. Argentina national team, Messi has played 79 times, scoring 32 goals after Batty (56 balls), Crespo (35 goals) and Diego Maradona (34 goals). Club, Alcantara from 1912 to 19

Barcelona Right-back Dani Alves
Barcelona right-back Dani Alves has revealed that he would consider joining either Paris Saint-Germain or Monaco in the Summer, should one of them make an offer. Last summer the Brazilian confirmed that les Parisiennes enquired about his services, but a move was not possible at the time due to an exorbitant transfer fee demanded by Barca.However, Alves has now stated that he would be open to leave the Catalan giants at the end of the campaign, should a new offer from Ligue 1 come his way.Barcelona jersey "I am a Barca player and very happy here, but I never close the door to Paris or another club," the 30-year-old told Canal+."Paris are a very ambitious young club, with a great desire to claim a place in the world of football. They recruit great players to make something beautiful in football. "They lack a little continuity but they are on the right track. Some media stars and other high quality players have joined already."He also did not rule out a switch to Monaco, wh

Barcelona Coach Vilanova Record Year Real Madrid Champions League La Liga Record Two Negative Poor Record
Beijing time on July 20 morning, Manchester United jersey FC Barcelona President Russell officially announced at a news conference Vilanova as Barca coach could not continue due to illness. Barcelona coach Vilanova following year history. Vilanova September 17, 1968 was born, was a professional player, the 2007/08 season, Guardiola became an assistant coach with the Barcelona B team; 2008 to 2012 as a team of Barcelona coach Josep Guardiola, compared Terranova continue to serve as assistant coach; April 27, 2012,cheap soccer jerseys while leaving Barca confirm Guardiola became coach Vilanova announced, in June he was officially appointed as a coach of Barcelona and signed with the club two years; December 19, 2012 Barcelona announced Vilanova parotid carcinoma recurrence, he traveled to New York and to the absence of medical treatment stadium over two months away from the stadium's time assistant coach Lula became an executive coach, Bi Lanuo Valley using a mobile phone and

Barca Do Not Buy To Help People Find The Soft Underbelly Of His Host Waiting Kuba
If you do not buy the Barcelona defender, will have to bear responsibility BaltraWhen Pique on vacation, Puyol sidelined with injuries in the case, Javier Mascherano and young baltra partner become guard. cheap soccer jerseys Under the impact of the Franck Ribery, Barcelona's defense exposed this great weakness. Last season legacy problem is not solved, so that people's desire Barcelona defender introduce more intense. Baltra the functional left defender, he backs this side is Montoya, while their opponents are Ribery and Araba. A Franck Ribery enough to Baltra and Montoya left guarded very embarrassed. Franck Ribery on the first 4 minutes to pick the ball broke Montoya, and later in the penalty area after the cross Akira Baltra to Robben made at the far post to push Kongmen chance, but was Adriano denied their feet; 9 minutes, Franck Ribery ball left, Alabama Pinto shot was saved; 22 minutes, Franck Ribery and physical contact baltra down in the penalty area, Barcelona je

Barcelona Champions League And Then Went To Get A General Insisted That Certainly Expect To Come Away Angry Superstar
Barca goalkeeper Victor Valdes on Monday accepted the media interview. Speaking on Martino's first impression when Valdes said: "We talk about for a while, we see him full of longing, and he was very easy-going and he asked us not to lie on the honor, cheap soccer jerseys while experience tells This does not happen we said he will adapt to Barcelona in order not to alter the forward direction of the team, I think Barca introduce him was very positive and we have been able to adapt to various coaches, our group is very good , in athletics as well and we will continue to complete the tasks assigned by the coach. " Valdes is very clear that Real Madrid will once again become Barcelona's enemies, Barcelona jersey he said: "Ancelotti is a great coach, he was in the teams have proved their level, such as in Milan, he was great in the hands of there are very good players, which is why Real Madrid will once again become a strong opponent. " In for Barcelona 11 season, this season

Barca Join Forces Deliberately Withholding Messi And Neymar Requirements Neymar Gestures Play Suspected
Messi and Neymar together through the channel but did not play togetherBarca all the players have been rejoin, but also had to be hand Martino Spanish media called the "all-star" combination of Messi - Neymar combinations.cheap soccer jerseys Neymar and others took part in the Confederations Cup players, are Monday rejoin, he has conducted a joint training with the team, and motivated. Macy's open arms to welcome the arrival of Neymar, clear the so-called "mountain hardly contain tigers" stereotypes.Barcelona jersey In the team's first training session, the two become very close, but also specifically Neymar and Lionel Messi uploaded a photo together, and filled with admiration, wrote: "My dream has come true, thank God ! " On Wednesday, the long-awaited debut of Nei Maer finally staged, however, Neymar and Lionel Messi scenes together did not happen in the East Valley Macy was replaced after 3 minutes, Barca coach group before allowing Neymar replace Sanchez debut. And t

Barcelona Messi Rest Was Flatly Rejected
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Barcelona Youth Academy Mestizo There Is A Genius In The Day For A Living , A Team Determined To Play On
Japanese mestizo boy Ryue NishizawaMay 2010 , FC Barcelona a training ground , a group of young players during training , among them including a long oriental face "alternative ." "Oriental boy" named Von Ryue Nishizawa , however , he did not born in Asia , and his father is Japanese Mexican mother is Chinese Mexicans . cheap soccer jerseys 1999 , Ryue Nishizawa was born in Cancun, Mexico . Basara Marcia youth academy Bueno , Esteves and other outstanding coaches closely watching these young players to come to trial . In the end, 400 players, Barcelona club only selected 13 people, is one of Ryue Nishizawa . Japanese mixed blood Ryue Nishizawa recalled: "I do not know that they have been selected. Barcelona jersey They gave us a piece of paper , I do not understand the above Catalan, so I asked one to be my translation friends , and soon , he would shout : ' you have been selected. ' that scene so I was very impressed , my dad and aunt can not believe this is true. everyo

Barca Are Most Worried About Is Not A Time Bomb Rang Iniesta Salary On Transfer
New season Iniesta has behaved like a V8 engine of the car , but do not start upIniesta suffered earlier this season some weird , we can say , he is like a V8 engine , but has not started up the car. As Lionel Messi after the Barcelona squad 's second-largest players, Iniesta 's fate now feel regret. Five league matches , he has only two games on the bench , cheap jerseys which is a match Levante , Rayo Vallecano game is a game. 3 starts the game, he was merely away game against Valencia ready for 90 minutes. Spanish Super Cup, he was on the road ready audience , but at home to Atletico Madrid , but only played 17 minutes , and only in the Champions League against Ajax, he 's ready audience . Just a year ago , Iniesta also received thunderous applause of the fans , he was named the best player in Europe . Right now, data, Iniesta 's declining role in the Barcelona squad is obvious , and now the season has only just begun , and Barcelona still absorb Martino wanted to instil

Barcelona Officially Announced The Renewal Of The Emperor Dyke
The face of the microphone , the Barcelona club technical director Zubizarreta has seemed cautious ahead of him he did not strictly follow the principle of public announcement . Precisely because of this , announced on Sunday Zubizarreta Barcelona Iniesta will complete the contract with ,cheap soccer jerseys the outside world are surprised , but also believe that since has been cautious Zubizarreta are saying , then Barcelona with Iraq Nie Sita regarding renewal has been pretty close . Zubizarreta said, regarding the renewal of Barcelona and Iniesta has been much progress , "Yes, we are nearing completion of the contract with Iniesta and I believe you can before Christmas Iniesta renewal . " Barcelona in the summer of this year before they start working with Iniesta contract , Arsenal jersey in September , the two sides began formal negotiations. Next year on April 30 , Iniesta will be at least 30 years of age , which a contract will be his last major contract. It is repor

Bardic Imbolc Ritual
Bardic Imbolc Ritual by the White Bard Materials * a candle for each covener present. * a MAIDEN, dressed in white. * a Crown of Light, made from three, six, or nine candles. * a BARD/GREEN MAN. * a DARK LORD, dressed in dark clothing, and holding a dark cloak. The place of ritual should be set up, away from the gathered participants. It is more than a good idea to manage bathrooms and such like before the circle is closed. This Mystery is not something any of the participants should miss out on! The BARD should stand to the WEST, unless otherwise specified in the ritual. HPS Go we now to the sacred place And stand within the sacred space Turn your minds to sacred things And dance with me unto the ring! HP and HPS lead the coven to the place of ritual by a spiral dance, ending in a circle around the altar. The cauldron should be at the south. The Bard/Green Man dances at the end of the line. A good song to sing here is "

Bardisms
when u get to certain age, u run out of every1 2 blame besides yerself... if u listen quietly, u'll find out that you will hear the madness of the world and decide not to add the noise... a type of music never really sucks, it's just that certain ideas are no longer original... being monogamous is equivalent to listen to Bubba talk about shrimp... if u love yourself, u wouldn't wish u were some1 else or had what they had... tell yer children that u already did what they have done...it makes them creative and respect u as being human... what makes english not a real language is because the japanese dont say quesedilla or carpe diem....

Bar Do's And Don'ts....
Someone once pointed out to me the fact that there seems to be a micro-economy in the service industry. Restaurant workers take their tip money out to bars and clubs at night and give it to the bartenders, who promptly return it to the waiters and waitresses the next day at lunch. The cycle is almost self-sufficient and is mutually beneficial. Knowing the pain of waiting on customers, each group tips the other well and never raises a fuss. These people do not need to be educated. The rest of you do. Many of us have stood in a noisy, crowded bar and asked, "What's a guy got to do to get a drink around here?" Well, you're about to find out. Here are some Do's and Don'ts that will keep the relationship between the bartender and bar patron running smoothly. DON'T... Fail to have your money ready We're waiting on you. Everyone else is waiting on us. Therefore, by the Transitive Property of Equality, everyone is waiting on you. Rule #1: Have your shit together. Not only will foll

Bareback
It's a beautiful spring day. The sky is a glorious shade of blue and the sun is shining bright. She looks over at him reading directions and she can't get over how handsome and sexy he is. SHe can't wait to see the look on his face when he sees what she has in store for him. Finally they arrive at their destination. He looks over at her....smiles and says, "Horseback riding?" "Yes!" she replies, reaching up, gently caressing his cheek, "and that's not all!" She runs ahead of him and goes to the stables. Instantly she spots the horse she wants, he's a beautiful chestnut color and very regal looking, just right for what she has in mind. The owner asks if they want him to saddle the horse up. Quickly she says, "No, we'll ride bareback, thank you!" The man pulls out a small stepping stool. He gets on his first and extends a hand to help her up and she sits in front of him. He whispers, "Do you know how to guide a horse?" "I'll learn as we go along

Barenaked
This song summarizes my life :P Music Video:BARENAKED (by Jennifer Love Hewitt)Music Video Code provided by Video Code Zone Do you ever have that dream where you're walking naked down the street and everyone just stares Do you ever feel so deep that you speak your mind to put others straight to sleep You wonder if anybody cares Sometimes I think I'm the only one whose day turned out unlike it had begun And I feel bare naked And I just can't take it I'm getting jaded No I just can't fake it anymore 'Cuz I'm bare naked And I know life's what you make it Wish I could float away to some other day You ever go downstairs to start your day but your car's not there Yeah you know the joke's on you You ever try your luck with a pickup line But you just sucked You tell yourself it wasn't you And I know it's hard to hold it inside It's days like these I run and hide When I feel bare naked And I just can't take it I'm getting jaded No I just can't fake it

Bare In June
Bare in June Turn out the light rest exposed next to me fall asleep cloaks' me in lukewarm embrace For tonight. Hunger for a little aid to rinse away the years of being manipulated. rehabilitating hands that pacifies the fire that ravages me. Angel wings scattered on the pillow where I use to love. Hold me to kindle these images from my head. Rinse away the longing with teasing hands' lift the warmth of this fire. Want someone to turn off the light rest next to me exposed in the rain. Someone to keep away the heartache.

Bared
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Barefoot On A Road Of Broken Glass
Barefoot on a road of broken glass Running barefoot down a road of broken glass tears rolling down my face Standing barefoot in the middle of a road of broken glass unable to breath, pain in my chest Turning barefoot to see what i left behind a trail of bloody footprints following me Turning barefoot for the last time unwanting to go back Walking barefoot down a road of broken glass my thumb in the air, waiting for someone going my way * i just wish i had the courage to do it.

Barely There
i've tried reaching around in the dark only to find empty cold sheets i've tried a seductive whimper to call you back but still you linger out there; who is she? are you thinking of her when you're lying next to me? does she make you feel like i used to? i shiver in anticipation tears start to warm my face pulling the covers up over my head i drift into another sleepless night waiting for you and getting nothing in return. my thoughts swim in a sea of depression i wonder: does she know i'm there? what would she say if our eyes met one day? i cry, uncontrollably i hear the door unlock then replaced again, quietly so as not to disturbe the sleeping dead- i am turned, silent he thinks i am asleep and as he slips into bed, i smell her. i'll bite my lip and dream of better days, until i find a "better man"* *this ending was starred because i haveto give credit where credit is due, pear jam, better man.

Barely Containable Excitement
I'm only... *gasp* .... 992 points off transforming from a horrible wretched patheict Magic Cherry into a wonderful majestic heroic Cherry Warrior. What delights await me in warriorhood? How will this transformation extend out into the real world, changing my life's direction and making me a new man? Can I really be so close to acheiving my destiny....?

Barely Breathing
Sometimes I feel as though I am barely breathing, barely making sense of the world around me. I feel as though I am fighting to keep my head above water. I laugh and I smile when those around me do the same but inside I feel dead. I can be in a room with a ton of people and still feel so alone. It's a feeling I'm just not used to and I don't like it. I've had a hard time sleeping. I take pills. Anything I can get my hands on to numb me and let me fall asleep. I'm scared but I won't admit it to anyone. My life is the one thing I should have complete control over and it has completely spun out. I'm not the woman I was a few months or even a few weeks ago. I close my eyes and I hear a baby crying and when I open them I can't find her. She isn't there. It haunts me. It hurts. It scares me. I go on day to day living my life wondering what else is in store for me, praying it is only good things. I could use some luck right now, the warm embrace of those that love me, anything to make me real

Bare Truth ....
Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- just the stone cold truth of our friendship. 1 When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have. 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

Barefoot On Barbwire
There is a world of difference between saying what needs to be said and saying what you want to say. Words get taken the wrong way and intentions are often lost in the mix. I'm a compulsive foot-in-mouthist, and thinking before speaking is a lifelong fantasy I've yet to make true. And you know what? Honestly, I just hope I keep on failing. It's so goddamned much fun when I get to actually say what I think. I do curtail it day to day, but not as much as you might think. I'm not one of these secret-other-self type journal scribblers who has a total ego. I don't have to hit the bong or or guzzle 2-4 in order to tap into that inner self. I just have to bite my fucking tongue sometimes so I can yield to convention. But, trust me, most people I know have known me to say incredibly crass things sometimes, and I've no qualms about playing a fool. I miss that, I miss the fact that I'm not feeling as comfortable being myself as I once was. I chalk it up to the oddities of the rece

Barefeet In The Sand...
Barefeet in the sand Pt. 1 Barefeet in the sand. Smell of driftwood burning. Sand and salt, sea gullz and hermit crabs. This is what my soul needs. Replenished. Rejuvinated. The waves roaring in the near distance. Emulating a giant machine that never runs out of fuel.Barefeet in the sand Pt. 2 The golden orange sun has set. Mother nature has taken her course, like a well written play. *Stagelights dim. Spotlight on center stage.* The campfire dances and crackles, forever singing a familiar song. The wind howells as it gusts through my hair.Barefeet in the sand Pt. 3 I stare into the fire, as if there where no world around me. I push my barefeet deeper in the sand. Locking myself into position for the long journey through the night. I see, visions of you. Visions of me. Visions of the world. And visions of being free.Barefeet in the sand Pt. 4 There is a peace in this place. A tranquility. Serinity that never dissapears. A constant cycle of life that never ends that never runs out of fu

Barely Republican :)
You Are 56% Republican You aren't a full fledged Republican yet, but it's probably the party that fits you best. You probably consider yourself an independent Republican. You usually support the party, but you also think for yourself! How Republican Are You?

Bare With Me
sorry to all i have neglected... But im attending trucking school right now and i go from 7am-6pm and its hard to really get on.. i mean im on but i have to study on here so plz dont get mad it i dont answer u...i will try ok..... thank u... me.....

Bare Feet Society Rules
Bare Feet Society Rules 1) Painted nails a must. Nobody is allowed to use the same color as another member unless during a contest. 2) All members must have the Society name in their nickname and an album dedicated to the Society. Example: Sweet Rabbit ~Bare Feet Society~ Example for album: Bare Feet Society Photos Only 3) Ranks will be given out, as well as opportunities to be in the sister clubs of Bare Feet. These clubs are: D-Generation X, Lost Hearts Club and Jolly Ranchers Club (Last club is for only pirates, but we will allow models to display love to them in form of salutes on their feet or on signs) 4) No more photos of feet with other people in them. Those photos will be meant for a special thing called Feet Lovers each month, which you may make an album for. 5) Each January (switching each year to make it exciting) will be the Bare Feet of the year contest. Members should get more than themselves to enter. 6) Any suggestions, concerns, or help with anything that we

Bareback
Bareback is a term that originated in gay slang to describe acts of unprotected sex, especially anal sex. The term's usage however, has crossed-over to more mainstream slang to describe any type of penetrative sexual act without the use of a condom.

Bare Essentials
Ok So lets break it down Shot Gun Style. Me: 6 foot 190lbs, I am no longer the 18 year old stud I used to be but I still after all these years havent had one complaint to my face...And if they don't like it why do they come back?? Brown Hair, Green or Blue Eyes. Professional clean cut Sex: Favorite Position: Backwards Cowgirl (Girl on top facing away) Protection: Always except with Oral 2nd Fav Position: Cowgirl (Girl Ontop Facing me) Finishing Move: Standing up her bent over me taking her from behind while I have her hands and arms pulled back. Pulling her into me Orgasm Preference: Bukakke or Chest shot Time of Day: Prefer Afternoons Swinging: Done it Love it will do it more Size: 7.5 to 8 inches with nice thick girth. Women: I like Women that wear it well.. That means If you BBW you are actually all 3 with a Special Asterik on the beautiful part..From Skinny to Healthy I dont object. Fantasy: 3 women at once Fufilled Fantasy: 2

Bare Feet Holidays
Bare Feet Society will now host a special contest for each holiday in each month. Halloween, Thanksgiving, etc.. So if you would like to be in it or know some bare feet ya want to win then contact me for more details!

Barenaked Ladies
Barenaked Ladies by maharat48 © More body modification, though in this chapter, it is mostly talk. *** Master Maazel brought his slave Samara some engravings to look at. Samara was long due for one of the most important sessions in her life, and he was hoping she would agree to have someone engrave some scenes from that precious day for his viewing pleasure. Samara was such a beautiful woman. What she was to endure was so extreme, and she had no choice but to go through it. Not that she was too concerned. By the time a slave reached this point in her training, and very few did, they were quite in love with the whole thing. Since Samara was such a special slave, she had some control of the way it would happen, though the surgeon always had the final say. Samara stared at the image of a beautiful tied slave, her arms extended over her head, attached to a hook, and her legs, they were held apart, leather straps running their length, in an odd angle that gave full view of h

Barefoot & Pregnant
Barefoot & Pregnant by Patrick Flanagan © I heard the police sirens just moments after I heard the squeaky screen door on my porch open. I wasn't expecting any guests at 2 am on a snowy morning so I figured it was prudent to get out my 9mm Glock and go perforate somebody. The lights of the police cars lit up my living room as I made my way in the dark to the back porch. Walking past a mirror I not only scared the shit out of myself, I also noticed that the only thing I was wearing was the Glock. "There's a guy who's dressed for the occasion!" I just whispered it out loud. I heard a few things moving around on the porch and realized, for sure, that I had company. I stood there for a moment to figure out my best strategy when the doorknob turned tentatively. My right hand came up level with the center of the doorway and my left hand came up on the light switch. I was about to shoot someone and I realized that I really, really, needed to pee. First things first. The

Bare There
Bare There by rthnck © Ann sat on the bed and stared down at the red patch of hair that framed her pussy. Against her better judgment she was going to lose the hair. It's what her lover wanted. No, it's what her lover demanded. She had shaved it off once before and definitely hadn't liked the itchy feeling as it grew back. She had sworn she wouldn't do it again but here she was getting ready to lose it again and all because of a piece of paper. She had agreed to basically do whatever he wanted for an entire day. She was going to give herself completely to him and completely submit to him. All of her holes were there for the taking and she knew that she could expect them all to be filled repeatedly with cock. The thought made her pussy twitch. She liked the idea of not being in control of what happened to her. She stared at herself in the full-length mirror that her lover had propped up for her. She smiled to herself. A couple of years ago she would have said this would never

Bare Beach Girl's Secret
Bare Beach Girl's Secret by aichiyu © It was a hot July day. I had decided to visit a long white-sand beach on an island off Florida, near where I was staying at the time. Wearing just a pair of brown shorts, I swam across the narrow channel separating one beach from the other, and made my way through the piles of driftwood and tropical vegetation to the broad band of white sand stretching out south. Along the way I passed a few nudists, mostly solitary men but a few couples. I just kept walking; I wasn't into seeing men or couples -- it was a single woman I was seeking. Once I cleared the nude end of the beach, I breathed a sign of relief. The long, slender beach stretched out in front of me, empty as a dry bone. I loved this beach. The waves from the Gulf of Mexico lapped it like lips licking something delicious. I knew my chances of finding a solitary girl here were small; but if I couldn't do that, the next best thing was to be able to be absolutely alone. So I walked, a

Bare On A Dare
Bare On A Dare by er0tic4u © Ricardo handed me my favorite drink, the infamous Long Island Ice Tea. I'd just returned from the lady's room. I needed to splash cold water on my face to sober me up. I was losing my control. I'd been warned at the office about Ricardo's reputation of sexual conquests. Yet I considered it a challenge to put this player in his place. My reputation as being the Sexy Ice Princess was well earned. I'd taken on corporate CEOs; supervisors and they all went away with a very limp impotent cock. Ricardo with his dark Latino good looks seemed to breaking through my frigid sexual exterior. Damn him, no way was he going to get me all hot and bothered, I said as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My tight pink low cut sweater accented my hard, pointy nipples that stood at attention on my full 42-DD breasts. The pink color heightened how erotic my breasts looked. I wore a tight dark pink denim skirt that hugged my ass. The snaps down the front o

Barefoot Pray
Pardon my muddy feet,God of reandrops and wriggle worms. I 've been outside.Splashing in puddles like a child is to rediscover your creation: cloak of fog, spiderweb weavings, birds of different feathers dining peacefully together.I get too busy to enjoyit. Thank you for this mud-luscious day when i am brought to my knees in awe, the best place to meet you --- as any child knows. I plan to pray barefoot from now on, curling my toes like a child and stretching toward you, so each day can be a whole-body experience. For it is because you are , that i am.

Bare Essentuals... Or Bare Wallet?
Last weekend I was watching one of those infomercials for Bare Minerals make-up. It really looked good and easy to use. I am not one to spend a whole lot of time primping in the morning, so I decided to check it out. I went on-line to see how much it was ... over $50.00 for a "starter kit". Thats freaking crazy! No way in hell I'd spend $50 on make-up. I just went to Avon's web site. They have a similar product for one tenth of what Bare Essentuals charges. Guess who's going to get my business?

Barely Breathing
I know what you're doing, I see it all too clear I only taste the saline when I kiss away your tears You really had me going, wishing on a star But the black holes that surround you are heavier by far I believed in your confusion, you were so completely torn It must have been that yesterday was the day that I was born There's not much to examine, there's nothing left to hide You really can't be serious if you have to ask me why I say goodbye... 'Cause I am barely breathing And I can't find the air Don't know who I'm kidding Imagining you care And I could stand here waiting A fool for another day I don't suppose it's worth the price, worth the price The price that I would pay Everyone keeps asking, what's it all about? I used to be so certain and I can't figure out What is this attraction? I only feel the pain There's nothing left to reason and only you to blame Will it ever change? 'Cause I am barely breathing And I can't find the air Don't know who I'm ki

Bare With Me You Guys!
my account seemed to have been hacked and deleted over the weekend so im havin to get everything built back up to where i had it..b/c of some ass i lost all my friends and most of my pics..so ima hafta dig thru some cd's and get everything back to where it was.. so bare with me if i dont rate or fan you yet..ill get to it.. and ya know one of you sweethearted guys out there could buy me a blast to help get my friends back :-) theres rewarding pics in return! ADD ME RATE ME FAN ME **:: xxxooo ::** Jess

Bar Economics
Bar Economics -- The Tax Code Explained Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this: The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay $1. The sixth would pay $3. The seventh would pay $7. The eighth would pay $12. The ninth would pay $18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59. So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20." Drinks for the ten now cost just $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfal

Bare Facts
Hare Rama__ Glory of lord speaks on the version of life and the peoples on the board of life on the verge of acts and their results for them. What one saw the same one reaps is the bare fact of life but a time gap prevents the direct collision? Life expects a lot from itself on varying stages with out anticipating the mode and the orbit it bears their in. a servant who aspires for happiness, a beggar who expects honor, a person addicted to some vice who hopes for riches, a profligate who seeks a blessed state after death, an avaricious man who coverts fame and a proud man who expects four virtues of life esteem wealth, religious merits, sensual perfection and final beatitude ---all these ones expect to get milk by milking heavens. Life do needs realization for a better pace their in to achieve ultimate glory for here and here after. May god bless all on the subject of life as human. Thanks plesse

Bare Wings Of Wax
I remember when I used to be something. When I used to believe in someone. What I need is a good long scream into the face of madness. The face of whatever force is behind my life. Put my fingers in his face, and wrench his head back. Some fair shot at getting out of here alive, and partially in tact. Somewhere to be. Something safe. Something sane. Take me someone safe. Where...one... What do I even want to say? Where do I begin? When do I get to say when the hurting stops?

Barenaked
Did ya ever have that dream Where you're walking naked down the street And everyone just stares Did ya ever feel so deep That you speak your mind To just put others straight to sleep You wonder if anybody cares Sometimes I think I'm the only one Whose day turned out Unlike it had begun And I feel barenaked And I just cant take it I'm getting jaded, no i just cant fake it anymore cuz im barenaked and i know lifes what you make it wish i could float away to some other day You ever go downstairs to start your day But your cars not there Yeah you know the jokes on you You ever try your luck with a pickup line, but you just sucked You tell yourself it wasn't you And i know it's hard to hold it inside It's days like these i run and hide When i feel barenaked And I just cant take it I'm getting jaded, no i just cant fake it anymore cuz im barenaked and i know lifes what you make it wish i could float away to some other day It's all a state of mind Bu

Bare Lies My Soul To You
Bare lies my soul to you My heart rests in your hands, My blood pools around your feet, My tears flow for you alone, My spirit has followed you, My Hopes and dreams lie in the dust under your step, My soul is starving for your love, My mind's focus is on you alone, My body's numb with the loss of your touch, My grief assaults my waking moments, My dreams are nothing more than reliving what has been lost, My heartbeat has slowed as if waiting for death's touch, I sit and wait for the end of this pain knowing it will only end if you choose it to. Mordechai AKA: Anti

Barely Here
Juss lettin all my friends and family members know that I have less then 2 months to go till my baby girl is here :) So, I won`t be online too much...I still have alot to get ready for her...So, Please understand. And when I have the time I will come on here and conversate with ya`ll

Barely Graceful
My precious girl, now 12 years old You try so hard to go forward as your world unfolds No matter what battles we have faced Even when homeless, we shared such strength You and mommy have so much in common Our will to survive, is biggest amoung them Life isnt easy, and its been so hard on us both Yet you came through with me, of this you should be proud and boast I love you my girl, and I am so very proud And through it all, weve never had doubts You continue in your world, so confusing and torn Fighting like a trooper, not allowing yourself to be beaten or torn You have my strenght and Im so proud you do Just like me, the world will never get to you So take my hand, and together we will share When our fight stops, I will still be there I love you

Bare Så Det Er Helt Klart "daddy"
Bwie er interessant for meg kun i forhold til Jackie som fenomen. Det betyr ikke at en kamp mot han er uinteressant. En kamp mot ham er tross alt en kamp mot et symptom på Jackie. Slik Ux er det. Men jeg ser ingen annen interesse i en kamp mot Ux enn å få idiotiet vekk fra synsfeltet mitt. Det betyr heller ikke kan jeg kjemper mot Jackie som en generell fiende (kanskje jeg skulle si "Jackie" for å gjøre det klart at hun ikke er noen nær bekjent av meg. "Bwie" er en skurk fra 70-tallet selvfølgelig, ikke noe mer). Jeg har en respekt for henne som grenser mot total underkastelse... Et nærliggende spørsmål er problemet med allianser ala Jackie-Bwie. Bwie-Ono. Jackie-Ono. Osv. Hva skal man gjøre i slike tilfeller? Er ikke kampen over? Det er da man må holde målet klart.

Barefoot In The Dark~ Deadboy And The Elephant Men
rattlesnake shadow cast over the heart forever I am there barefoot in the dark they're beating that drum in the cemetery my death lays awake there whistling dixie yeah if this is hell well then I'm lucky yeah my death's alive there just waiting for me uh-huh my death's alive there just waiting for me my death lays awake there whistling dixie if this is hell then i'm lucky rattlesnake shadow cast across the heart forever we are there barefoot in the dark they're beating that drum in the cemetery my death lays awake there aaah whistling dixie yeah if this is hell if this is hell then i'm lucky yeah my death's alive there just waiting for me uh-huh my death's alive there just waiting for me my death lays awake there whistling dixie if this is hell well then I'm lucky barefoot in the dark barefoot in the dark barefoot in the dark

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Bare
Is it too much to ask to actually meet someone who wants to be there and wants to put an effort into a relationship with me? I give and I give and I give and I feel so damned empty it's pathetic. Should I be more selfish? Demanding? I'm so lost. Fuck money and material possessions. I want to feel emotions coming from someone who thinks I'm special to them. I'm a very emotional needy person. If I put a little extra effort into how I look, I want to know it's appreciated, or I stop trying. I want to be a part of someone's life, if he would just let me. Oh man.. I'm a romantic. Nothing good ever comes from it. I don't like the way I look. I'm not pretty. I'm not in any good physical shape. I'm not attractive. No, I'm not fishing for compliments. I really feel this way. I give what I can, my mind, my personality, my body if it ever gets to that point. If that's not enough, what is? I've always heard "I want a girl just like her" "If they ever perfect cloing, I want 5 of her" or someth

Bar Etiquette...
Ok, First let me start off by saying that if youre going in to a bar, please realize its a place of business, and not your front porch, or basement, or garage... or wherever the hell you hang out with friends and drink. And since youre in a place of business, act like it. Youre also supposed to be an adult, again... act like it. Dont get pissed at the server because YOU are too fucking stupid to know what you are asking for. Just to clear a few things up... Blue label is a SCOTCH, not a vodka same goes for black label. Blue, is a brand of wine... again, not a vodka. Dont ask for blue top, cuz guess what? 90% of bottles HAVE blue tops Dont ask for "Bumpy gin" because in a loud crowded bar, we hear "Bombay gin" which is a better gin, and will cost you more. Seagrams is a BRAND NAME, not a drink itself. The provide vodka, tequila, rum, whiskey, canadian whiskey, gin, and Brandies, so asking a bartender for a shot of seagrams is like going to a Blockbuster and asking for a horro

Barefoot
So, for the last month or so, I'v been walking around barefoot as much as possible.... There is something deeply spiritual about walking the earth with just your own 2 feet and nothing else.... my bottoms of my feet have became rougher and rougher, and now I am able to walk just about anywhere outside, including roads. I think my favorite part about walking barefoot has got to be when I feel the cool grass on my feet after walking a section of road or asphalt. When walking on the grass, I feel a deep connection with the earth and it is a great feeling! Please, share your thoughts of walking barefoot, and hopefully some of you out there share the same passion as I do...

Barefoot In The Winter
Barefoot in the Winter Barefoot in the winter, Crisp as a snow angel night. December's dawning light. It's all too right So it must be a dream. Hearts can be so tender, brittle like fresh blown glass. All those various masks. Such a task, Getting who we are From who we seem. She does her February dance with a January smile,

Barf
what ever happened to self respect and dignity? Why do women feel the need to spread their legs and take pictures of it? If you cant get ratings and comments without acting like a complete skanky whore you need a reality check. You bitches make me want to vomit.

Bar Fantasy
You sat alone at the bar waiting for me. You were nursing your first drink because you didn’t want to start without me, but I was late. You had chosen the spot at the far end of the bar where the lights were dim and no one needed to walk behind you, as I had instructed you. I had come in through the back and slipped up behind you. You were wearing your white, very low cut peasant blouse and your green and white semi-transparent skirt. As a surprise for me, you were wearing the crotchless butterfly panties and the cutout bra. In the light of the bar, your nipples were very visible, and awareness of this fact kept them erect. You were lost in thought when you felt hands on your shoulders. You started to turn and you heard me say, “Don’t turn around. Look straight ahead and don’t make a sound.” You put your hands on either side of your glass and focused on the bottles behind the bar. My hands moved your hair away from your neck as I leaned forward to kiss the nape. I trailed my t

Bar Fly
What type of partier are you? Your Result: Bar Social Butterfly Not quite as bad as the 'bar slut', you like to get a bit ripped and become everyone's new best freind. You talk to everyone and anyone, keep people laughing, and with enough liquor you become the professional comedian. You get into deep-thought topics with fellow drunks, get people crying on your shoulder when they vent to you, and end up with hundreds of phone numbers of people that you simply can't recall in your cell-phone all the time.Hardcore drunk The rock-star party animal Bar Slut The Lurker The designated driver The Socialite

Barfdays
This weekend at a restaurant I managed to stumble upon not one, but two birthday celebrations, accompanied, as usual, by out of tune rendition of a b-day song, noisy applauds as if the cause of this celebration was a Nobel Prize recepient, and a traditional blowing out of a candle while making a wish (which, if it wasn't such a sham, would have by now eliminated wars, diseases, and fat people). Looking at those two smiling and laughing people, a thought came to my mind: our life is like a ladder, and every b-day is a step that takes us closer and closer to the top until we fall off since there is nowhere else to climb. Every year on the same day we are putting our foot onto the next step of this ladder, getting more and more worn out and realizing how out of shape we are. So technically, those people are celebrating getting one step closer to their eventual demise. Woohoo, how fun! Not. I remember the days when I used to get excited about my b-days, even if they meant sitting at

Bar Fights!
Last Wednesday I went out to the local sports bar and they were advertising fight night so since I dont have Satellite TV or Cable I went. i was expecting them to have UFC on the big screen and drink specials or something of this nature.. BUT NO! I walk in and see a ring in the middle of the pool tables!!! They actually moved some of the tables out and have local competitions in MMA!!!! Awesome right? So I had a blast, i took some pics and shot a few minutes of video on my phone and will try again later to upload the pics. something is preventing my upload from finishing.. the only problem i had is I showed up late and couldnt get close to the ring to watch, but i got to see the boxing and hand to hand combat, but when the guys hit the matt I wasnt able to see. I will be going when ever possible in the future!

Bargain
"Bargain" I'd Gladly Lose Me To Find You, I'd Gladly Give Up All I Had, To Find You I'd Suffer Anything And Be Glad. I'd Pay Any Price Just To Get You, I'd Work All My Life, And I Will. To Win You I'd Stand Naked, Stoned And Stabbed, I'd Call That A Bargain, That Best I Ever Had, The Best I Ever Had. I'd Gladly Lose Me To Find You, I'd Gladly Give Up All I Got, To Catch You I'm Gonna Run And Never Stop. I'd Pay Any Price Just To Win You, Surrender My Good Life For Bad. To Find You I'm Gonna Drown An Unsung Man, I'll Call That A Bargain, Thet Best I Ever Had, The Best I Ever Had.

Bargain Alert!!
THERE IS A NEW UNIVERSAL DVD PLAYER THAT IS CAPTURING ALL KINDS OF AWARDS FOR BOTH ITS AUDIO AND VIDEO QUALITY. IT IS A FINE AUDIO PLAYER OF CD, SACD, DVD-AUDIO. IT DOES AN EXCELLENT JOB ON DVD-VIDEO AS WELL. THERE ARE OTHER MACHINES ITS MATCH OR BETTER. ALL COST MUCH MORE, SOME INTO THE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS. I WILL PLACE A PICTURE OF THE UNIT IN A SPECIAL BARGAIN PHOTO ALBUM. IT IS AVAILABLE AT A VERY RELIABLE INTERNET VENDOR (ALSO BY PHONE) CALLED MUSIC DIRECT. I HAVE DEALT WITH THEM FOR MANY YEARS AND THEIR CUSTOMER SERVICE IS VERY GOOD. PRICE IS $149.00 THE NAME OF THE PLAYER IS THE OPPO & IT HAS WON SEVERAL AWARDS. THIS IS A REPRINT OF A REVIEW: Any misgivings I had about pairing a $149 disc player with a $50,000 system were quickly laid to rest. So how good can a $149 player be? The Oppo is very good! Using its internal D/A converters, the Oppo produces listenable, detailed, extremely satisfying sound from pretty much every optical disc format currently available. I was

Bargain
Bargain by CherryCummins © I could taste him in the back of my throat, blood more than human like candy on my tongue. His otherness rode the air before him, spilling through the doorway as he paused, taking in the shadowed commons. His eyes were hidden in mirrored shades, but the very stillness of his body said he was searching the crowd, seeking. I sat back a bit farther from the light, that simple movement drawing his attention. My breath quickened. I felt the weight of his gaze as something soft yet heady, a brush of fire across my cheek. I shivered a little, something low in my belly curling with the promise of hot dark things. I slid my eyes away from him, afterimage burning while I sipped Irish cream. Their wasn't anything particular about his appearance, a handsome man of normal coloring, but the crawl of power when he walked in the door was a tide of energy to prickle the skin of the wary. He likely gave psychics a fit. Something like a butterfly kiss hovered over

The Bargain
My true love hath my heart, and I have his, By just exchange one for another given: I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss, There never was a better bargain driven: My true love hath my heart, and I have his. His heart in me keeps him and me in one, My heart in him his thoughts and senses guides: He loves my heart, for once it was his own, I cherish his because in me it bides: My true love hath my heart, and I have his. BY:Sir Philip Sidney

Bar Hopping
The drive to the bar gave me ample time to contemplate the events of the past week. There was no real reason for me to be angry at all. After all, she was no true tie to me, but for weeks she had been playing those womanly games with me. I would go out of my way to come see her and she knew it. Never once had she made any offer to me directly, but she was always very suggestive. Many a nights she would dance up against me. Grinding and writhing her body into mine. I suppose, looking back on it all, she was just being herself. Maybe I should just go back home and forget this whole mess. “I don’t like to be toyed with, even if it is unintentional”, I thought to my self as I passed through a sharp curve, almost losing control of my car. The tires of the car screeched as I regained control. The nights passed began to blur into a seething conglomeration of images and emotion. Rage filtered through as the predominant emotion as I neared the club. Pressing the accelerator harder the

Bar Hoping
Monday, May 28, 2007 And God said.... Let there be mental capacity avoiding the bar situations for so long have given me more insight into the whole picking up of the opposite sex.after a while of avoidance i got to go back into what i like to call the meat market. id like to clarify just how this used to work for me so hang on to your undies and keep an open mind because you may not like me later. i never liked the bar thing much unless it was just to get laid .... and if you play your cards right itll happen a greater percentage of the time. first i had to get into things after i got there and not just with drinks but bullshitting with friends and mingling like your important.i like to talk shit so i make rounds get a few laughs and then go have some drinks. drinking was fun enough with the chums but in order to score i had to play a few games and even if i got hit on by the worst one in the place id wait it out until i got what i wanted. lets talk about the unwante

Bar Hopping 10-06-07
So tonight I went out, and did some bar hopping. started off the night at creos lounge. It was a the first time I ever been there. I stopped there, because the band is a bunch of local guys whom im friends with. and they invited me out. I walk in its about 10:30 or so and the band just finished there first set. so they run up to me and say hi and waz up. then ask me if I would set in and jam with them. I replied no thanks guys im here to chill and listen to you and have a few beers. so I go grab a stool at a table and order my miller lite. the bar maid brings my beer and after paying her she leans in and sniffs me.. and says ummmmm you smell good, what is that? im a little weirded out by the whole sniffing me thing. but I play along being the quick witted guy I am.. and I tell her "im not wearing anything, but I did leave the house tonight with a hard on, I just didn’t think anyone could smell it. she blushed and laughed and turned 3 different shades of red. and th

Bar Hopping
The day held nothing spectacular. The air was warm and sticky. The humidity mixed with the rolled down windows of my jalopy had started the peeling of the interior fabric on the ceiling of my slowly dying vehicle. I drove home from the vicious revolving door of gainful employment, and began to plot the evening's outing. Two choices laid before me....where to go, and how far to take it when I got there. A friend of mine had sent me a text message earlier. I hardly ever receive a phone call anymore. Isolated from the rest of the world by emotionless, quick answers. I don't trust a text message. There is no way to be sure of who is on the other end. Of course, this could only be a by product of what my therapist once called the "projection of my fears and paranoia on others." Fearing that the girl I love is not on the other end, but some new lover is on the other side of our voiceless conversation, having a quick laugh at the expense of the forlorn and unsure. My friend's text message cam

Baring My Ass
OK I'M IN MY VERY FIRST CONTEST ON HERE AND HELL DID I PICK THE ONE TO BE IN ROFL THE CONTEST IS GOING TILL NEXT FRIDAY, SO WHORE ME OUT TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS I'M BARING MY ASS TO ALL, SO GO RATE AND COMMENT ME EVERYDAY HEHE JUST POSTED A BULLETIN FOR IT, BUT IT SEEMS MOST DON'T PAY TO MUCH ATTENTION TO THOSE SO YA HERE'S THE LINK [ CherryTAP.com photo: 1820569568 ]

Bar I Work At
hey all, I'm a bartender in this crazy ass bar. My blogs, which I will post as often as i can, will be mostly about the crazy ass place I work. This place is full of crack heads, crazy people, and they all sit next to the doctor, lawyer, funeral directors, and postal peeps. Have a great night, and please support my blog!

A Bar In New York
A Kiwi is sitting at a bar in New York City and looks at his watch several times in the space of a few minutes. The woman sitting nearby notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?""" No," he replies, "I have this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it. The Kiwi explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically. The lady says, "What's it telling you now?" "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!'' The Kiwi taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's running about an hour fast, can I buy you a drink?"

Baring My Soul's Love
I am here before you My body rid of all that I wear Wanting you to take me To your body bring me near Feel the heat that is me My passion inside does burn Fill me with your love now For it I each day steadily yearn My skin is filled with tingles With thoughts of you touching me Sending excitement on through it Setting my passion for you free I ache to feel your love fill me Satisfying the longing for you I have Knowing that what your eyes feast upon To you I have with love now freely gave Feeling your lips travel over my skin So delicate as they softly kiss My body responds in many ways My love, I have surely missed this I can feel the wetness build Inside my love nectar does run Knowing that I will be satisfied Only when making love we are done My heart races with my loves beat Pounding as if for the world to hear The burning I feel between my thighs Wishing you were already there I open them now for you as you near Wanting to feel your love slide in Yo

Barix Supportachat La Rava ™ Sip Pour Téléphone Technologie Et Interphone Crestron ®
Une solution de première Qui proposer la permettre à la communication d'interface entre le pôle à pôle Appareils compatibles entre eux tactiles Ecrans Rava et Les platines de rue Analogiques interphone . ZURICH, 21 janvier 2013 / PRNewswire / - Barix, vous spécialiste de l'audio et du Contrôle IP plateforme sud, pour qu'il annonce la technologie partisan Rava ™ SIP pour téléphone et interphone Crestron. Barix SIP firmware Le intégration des Écrans l'simplifiera compatible tactile aux Appareils Analogiques Rava, tells les panneaux permettra d'interphone et de communication des AINSI la pôle à l'autre entre Appareils Qui n'ont Pas de centre Serveur. This FONCTIONNALITE l'intégration simplifié Voix sur IP (VoIP) déploiements résidentiels À during des et Commerciaux. Les Rava Crestron Écrans tactiles Tirent plateforme notamment le protocole SIP (Session Initiation Protocol), versez permettre la commande vocale par interphone, téléphone et télé-other Avertissement entre les applicat

Baring Her Soul
leave me alone mr moon pictures sometimes it's important to open up and bare one's soul....there are so many people hurting and scared.......to show and share grief lets others in to see they are not alone....we are all connected through spirit and heart and though experiences might differ...no one escapes or is left untouched by life, love, heartbreak and death. As you travel around the fubarian world and the real one.....never forget to open your heart and to help where you can....we are all in this together....and it is sooo much more then about points and rates.......its about being a friend and touching a soul...... **************************************************** Last night she dreamt. . .she cast her soul out amidst the stars and flew upon the wings of Brother Hawk, breathless, yet safe in His gentle care. her need drawing her--guiding her to seek the wisdom of the Ancient Fires. Brother Hawk gently setting her down before them amidst the people slumbering quietl

Bar Jokes
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery." The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?" "Just rub toilet paper between them." St

Bar Jokes I
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."

Bar Joke 2
A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery." The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?" "Just rub toilet paper between them." Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?" "I don't know, but it worked for your ass."

Bar Joke
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is d

Bar Jokes
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home

Bar Joke 3
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"

Bar Joke
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."

Bar Joke
A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar. FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS OUR TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is. The Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You got to make things right for her." The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there. Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?" He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumpin

Bar Joke Lol
A man walks into a bar, late one night completely knackered and dripping with sweat and orders 5 whiskies. "What's wrong with you?" The barman says. "In my car I've got a nymphomaniac - you couldn't satisfy her if you were there 'til Christmas," he replies. "We'll see about that," says the barman and goes out to the car park. He has been in the car with the woman for a while when there is a knock on the window and a policeman shines his torch in. The barman jumps up and winds down the window to talk to the policeman. "It's all right officer, I'm just shagging the wife," he says. "Oh, I'm sorry sir, I didn't know it was your wife" replies the cop. The barman replies -"Neither did I 'til you shone your torch!"

Bar Joke: If My Wife Find Out
A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in. “Damn,” he says. “I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she’s gonna kill me.” “Not to worry,” says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.” So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks. The drunk replies, “Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too.”

Bar Joke
A dog, cat and mouse was sitting at a bar. Now, the poor mouse, notices the cat eyeing him, while he orders. Finally, looking at the cat, he asked "If I tell the dog to leaveyou alone will you promise not to eat me?" The cat shrugged and said, "Sure." The mouse jumped up onto the bar and ordered another shot. Afteer downing it, he swaggered and planted his paws onto his hips in front of the dog. "I want you to leave the cat alone." Now, this dog was a Great Dane. The dog looks at the mouse, looks at the cat, looks at the mouse and 'GULP' sallows the mouse. The moral of the story is: Don't mess with the big dog just because the pussy looking at you strange.

Barking Dogs...
D & T Auto Center, The all Asian body-shop, will repiar your auto, repair with an IA, not an AI. The old asian woman is out again sweeping, gravel onto concrete onto pavement. The guard dogs are barking, at the field, Irritating viscious dogs in this semi-warm weather, But I remember last winter, whimpering whining pathetic little dogs. The field feral cat haven rusty wheel pit blown out tire storage garbage can for the environmentally unfriendly quick napping-spot/piss-can for the occasional illegaly homeless person on the run. Damn homeless people aren't supposed to be sleeping in Spokane. And there she's still sweeping, weaving and bobbing between the junk and the yard. Same pink sweats, same cold shoulder, same avoiding dark eyes. She is why I sometimes close my blinds. Visciously pathetic barking dogs. And there go the Russian teenage boys, a few of the very few that accept my existence in this melting-pot of culture. Sauntering by my apartment, cra

Barking Dogs
I have one of those dogs that barks at everything (except what he should).. squirrels.. rabbits.. kids on bikes.. me..lol. He barks at his dish as soon as its empty.. hungry or not. I go to the bathroom he barks ... though I am not sure if its because he wants to go out everytime I go.. or whether he is telling me to quit peeing where he drinks. (why they drink out of toilets whn they have fresh water is beyond me..lol). So.. I got a collar for him a few years ago. And decided he needed a little reinforcement with it. This isn't a collar that shocks him. I got one that sprays citronella. They are supposed to be twice as effective as the shock ones. They work pretty well. He has not barked all day.. even when the cable guy was here. So if you have a dog that barks a lot.. try one. They really help. Makes him smell better too..lol

Bark At The Moon!
Saturday night, I had the honor to attend the 2007 VH1 Rock Honors show at Mandalay Bay. I knew who the bands that were being honored were, of course: ZZ Top, Heart, Genesis and Ozzy Osbourne. When I lived in Texas...hmmmmmm...I don't remember which time, but I think I was nine or ten, my family lived on post at FT Hood. I think my Father was a Major, so we had a better house, but our neighbor was this Air Cav pilot that was a little crazy. Anyways, he was my introduction to ZZ Top. When he would cookout in his backyard, he would play ZZ Top songs at top volume...until, of course, the neighbors complained. Then he would turn it down. But, I would play in the backyard so that I could still hear it. The other bands, Heart and Genesis...well, i love their music. It was hard to not be familiar with it, even for a person like me that was pretty much restricted to Christian music. ZZ Top opened...and did a fantastic job. They sounded great live, just like I always thought that th

Barking Dog
A gal, might have been blonde, and her husband are in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog which has been barking for hours. She jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this." She comes back, and her husband says "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?" "I put the dog in our backyard; let's see how THEY like it!

[bark]
I'm floating. I'm falling. I'm flying through thin air. For the first time, I look down; I think somebody's there... To catch me. To save me. To brush my tears away. For the first time, I think that Maybe he'll stay. I'm like Pavlov's dog, waiting for the bell to ring.

The Barking Dog
The Barking Dogmark as unreadA blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed And her husband says "The dog is still barking, What have you been doing?" The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!

Bark Like A Dog
The Stupid Jerk I'm Obsessed With by Maggie Estep(1962-present) The stupid jerk I'm obsessed withstands so close to meI can feel his breathon my neckand smellthe way he would smellif we slept togetherbecause he is the stupid jerk I'm obsessed withand that is his primary function in lifeto be a stupid jerk I can obsess overand to talk to that dingy bimbette blonde as if he really wanted to hear about hermanicures andpedicures andNew Age ritualistic enema cures andtruth be known, he probably does wanna hear about itbecause he is the stupid jerk I'm obsessed withand he's obsessed with doing anything he canto lend fuel to my firehe makes a point of standinglooking over my shoulder when I'm talking to the guy who adores meand would bark like a dogand wave to strangersif I asked him to bark like a dogand wave to strangersbut I can't ask him to bark like a dogor impersonate any kind of animal at allcause I'm too busylooking at the way the stupid jerk I'm obsessed withhas pants on that perfec

Barking At Me
Barking At Me She has a smile that is big as the moon Knowing she is on her way, she will be here soon If only she would be my lucky star She is a winner and that's by far I am not perfect, and I am not the sharpest tool in the shed I too had to be force fed Things are moist, and the sweat was pouring off of me It was because we were kissing so long, it made both of us so, happy Wolf-hound moments had made us go all around,thenit sat at our feet This was so, soft and so, very neat! I wish, you would, stop, "Barking At Me"...

Barley On Fire
they burn, the afternoon and all the faces of that ambiguity trickling, crystalline, down the flanks. they oscillate, the mares, between heat and fear, precise, upon the barley on fire. awes, in the remoteness of eyes, the hurdles may not be more insuperable, after all, than the edge of the wind, once the manes are loose. they ripen, the secret bows of the jump, already a weight, licit, upon the croup and impetus within. and one sole, ultimate neigh, rises, where the vehemence of the wait unbridles all fundamentals in the triumph of the sparks. very close to the perceptible faces that drink from that ambiguity like from one sole thirst in the most crystalline of reflections. burning, in the afternoon.

Bar Life
Know your way around club drinking Old clubs Boozing and boogieing haven’t always been close dance partners. When club culture took off in Britain in the late eighties, most venues still revolved around the bar, and allowed optimum access to drinking facilities, no matter what that did to the dancefloor. Picture a neon-lit bunker with a huge glass and chrome-tiered bar in the centre, to the side of which the proprietor has thoughtfully placed a postage-stamp sized disco-dancing area. New Clubs Thankfully, superclubs soon changed this. These venues were designed around the speaker systems and the floor itself, meaning that bars were hived off to one side of the venue. If you go to a newer club, you’ll tend to find the bar is a little bit out of the way; if you go to an older venue, you’ll probably join the bar queue as soon as you walk through the door. Drinking in clubs According the Pete Wiggs, of mid-nineties dance popsters, St.Etienne, a popular solution to costly club d

Barley Legal Lesbian
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A Barman's Dream
A Barman's Dream It was a slow night in the over 18 only club and Bruce leant against the bar and stared out across the empty dance floor through tired eyes wishing for some entertainment to liven the quiet night up. The DJ put on a new track after taking a gulp of his drink and winked at two girls sitting opposite him. They giggled into each other's shoulder before getting up and drifting on to the dance floor. Bruce's eyes drew less tired as he watched them begin to move to the beat. One wore the shortest skirt a girl could possibly wear with a tight top that showed off her tits while the other was wearing something slightly more demure for a nightclub but it was still provocative as it made Bruce wonder what she was like under that long skirt although the shirt she wore was as tight as her friends and her breasts seemed to be fighting to escape the buttons. He closed his eyes as his imagination began to take over. He saw himself lying naked on a bed with the two bronze-sk

The Bar?? Married?? Dont Think So!!
A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although Very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back." Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer." The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... you know... they have frozen glasses... " He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted Him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at The bar they have those hors d'o

The Bar Menu
Hey man, we need more fuckin drinks. I drink all kinda shit, I don't know bout yall but sometimes I wanna buy some cognac,gin,brandy...etc. I like a bar with variety...brown or white,beer,different kinda shots, damn give us somemore shit to drank

Barmantx Has Auto 11's On Hit Him Hard Please!!!
AUTO 11'S ARE ON AND HE HE LOVES TO FLIRT AND MAKE NEW FRIENDS TOO. I KNOW YOU WILL LIKE HIM SO GO ASS/FAN/RATE ~BARMANTX AND TELL HIM ~BRATT~ SENT YA. YOU WONT REGRET IT, YOU GET TO MAKE A FRIEND AND GET POINTS TOO. SEE HE'S WORTH SOMETHING TO EVERYONE.!!GO GET HIM..=) barmantx Fu-owner of Archaic Angel and Bratt@ fubar THANX YA ALL!!!!!~Bratt~ ♥~BRATT~♥@ fubar

Barney = Satan
1. Start with the given: CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR 2. Change all U's to V's (which is proper Latin anyway): CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR 3. Extract all Roman Numerals: CVVLDIV 4. Convert into Arabic values: 100 5 5 50 500 1 5 5. Add all the numbers: 666 6. Thus, Barney is Satan

Barns
This is something my mom wants to do for my grandma. Plz help!! To All my Friends!! This is One of my New Years Resolutions.... My mom told me once that she would like a book of barns. Soooo,,,,,,, I am attempting to put together a book of barns from across the US. Please feel free to forward this to EVERYONE you know. Your contributions are Greatly appreciated!! You can email to: andersonlegal4u@aol.com, include barns in your subject or snail mail to: Anderson Legal, P. O. Box 481, Lawrenceville, IL 62439. Please include the location of the picture and your name if you wish. THANK YOU for your help!!

Barnsley Earthquake!
A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale, hit in the early hours of Tuesday morning. Epicentre: Barnsley, England News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the towns 35000 racing pigeons, as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "choofinnorah". The earthquake decimated the town causing £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearic Isles and the Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Giro arrived. Radio Barnsley reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Barnsley. One resident, 15 year old mother of three, Tracey Sharon Braithwaite, said, "It was such a shock my little Chardonnay Madonna came running into my bedroom crying. The twins, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I

Barnyard Animals
1. Players list various barnyard animals all they can think of and make small pieces of paper with one barnyard animal on each piece of paper. 2. Put the papers in a hat. pass around the hat, each person takes one paper for each round. 3. The player must describe their barnyard animal without making the sound it makes or saying the word it actually is. Other ways to describe it could be like, "seabiscuit was one of these" "this animal lays eggs" "he eats grass""this animal swims" They have 20 seconds to describe their animal. If the group guesses their animal within the 20 seconds, they get a point. If not, they get zero. First person to 5 pts wins. This can be other themes not only barnyard animals. You can do harder things like racing related items, or halloween items, or foods. The opportunities of themes are endless, so long as there are plenty of items within the theme to describe in the game. In this harder version, If the person doesn't know their item and has

Barney Song/ Poem
Killing Barney You love me I hate you I will beat you with my shoe. Your nose is broke This is a joke Barney is so fucking dumb It is funny to laugh at his stupid ass song You still love me Even after I beat you with my shoe How do I get rid of you I’ve got a uber awesome idea to fix that But first I’ll need my baseball bat Now I am going to put on a really kick ass hat. You love me I hate you too The shoe didn’t fix you So now lets see if my lovely little bat will do the trick Oh my god you are such a fucking prick Lol this is so much fun.  Guess I’ll go and get my gun Now it’s time you die you purple bastard Now hold still so I can feed you to the buzzard He loved me I killed him Now I am at the end It was so much fun to do this I will have to do it again But first I have to get paid by Satan

Barnes & Noble May Spin Off Nook Business, Shares Plummet
told the Wall Street Journal that the potential deal was an effort to boost its share price, its shares have plummeted 21 percent since the news was revealed."We see substantial value in what we've built with our Nook business in only two years, and we believe it's the right time to investigate our options to unlock that value," Lynch told the Journal. Barnes & Noble cautioned that its year-end results would show higher losses than previously forecasted – between $1.40 and $1.10 per share as opposed to the $0.63 Wall Street was predicting. canada goose outletThe company blames disappointing sales of the Nook Simple Touch and investments in advertising while insisting other e-reader and e-book sales were strong.Also read: Amazon Sold Millions of Kindles -- But Won't Say Exactly How Many In the world of e-books its Kindle has been a game changer, but Barnes & Noble has been a primary competitor with its Nook.Both companies released a new series of products in November – inclu

Barnes & Noble Cuts Prix Nook
Barnes & Noble est de couper les prix de sa couleur de 7 pouces Nook et Nook dispositifs Android 4.0 tablette pc , en essayant de garder sa marque d'ardoise en concurrence avec ses rivaux directs tels que l'incendie Amazon Kindle et Nexus 7. Vous pouvez maintenant ramasser une couleur Nook pour 150 $, une 8 Go Nook tablette pour 180 $, et un 16 Go Nook tablette pour 200 $. La baisse des prix représente une économie de 20 $ pour la couleur et le Tablet 8 Go, et 50 $ de rabais sur la tablette 16 Go Nook. Nook du libraire démarque suit un mois intéressants pour le monde peu comprimé. Microsoft à la mi-Juin a déclaré qu'il publiera sa propre surface RT et des comprimés de surface Pro cet automne. L'annonce du géant du logiciel a été rapidement suivie par Google Juin lancement tardif de la Nexus 7. Nouvelle tablette de Google est dans la même classe que Barnes & Noble Nook Tablet et le Feu Kindle. La différence pour le 7 Nexus, c'est que c'est un comprimé complet et pas seuleme

A Barn Measure For Pleasure.
----- This was an early Piece of my writing, my structure was improving at this point ----- ENJOY! The night sky twinkled with the starlight speckled across the atmosphere. The mild air proved to be tolerable and the only sound that could be heard was the sound a few crickets making their music with the night. The soft glow from the stars cast their light across the farm, the barn taking a shadowy outline beneath their glow along with the pasture and it's surrounding fencing. The large house stood silent with a few lights dimly illuminating the rooms within, the tree line across from the pasture was also visible as it looked eerie from afar. Suddenly a new sound is heard, the door of the house opens and shuts. A couple sneaks quietly outside, a lush beautiful redhead beauty and a large young man. They quietly trot across the open ground, heading towards the barn. Whispering and breaking soft muffles of laughter. Millar and Susan are from the city; however every so often, they take a

Barnes & Noble Nook Lance La Vidéo Magasin
Barnes & Noble a lancé sa boutique en vidéo Nook pour Nook Nook HD et HD + utilisateurs comprimé-pc portable pas cher . Nook Nook HD et HD + utilisateurs comprimé peuvent désormais regarder des émissions TV et des films via la boutique Nook vidéo. Barnes & Noble a dit qu'il est le premier distributeur numérique des titres UltraViolet au Royaume-Uni. Voir aussi test de groupe: quelle est la meilleure tablette PC pas cher? Jonathan Shar, vice-président de contenus numériques émergentes à Nook Media, a déclaré: «Nous avons délibérément conçu notre nouveau Nook Nook HD et HD + comprimés avec de superbes écrans haute résolution pour une lecture inégalée et de divertissement expériences, et nous sommes heureux d'élargir nos partenariats de contenu pour Vidéo Nook apporter à notre base croissante de clients au Royaume-Uni, " Lors du lancement de la boutique Nook vidéo a un contenu de BBC Worldwide, HBO, NBCUniversal, Sony Pictures Home Entertainment, Warner et STARZ Titres Bros c

The Baroness's "man Of Pleasure"
The Baroness's "Man Of Pleasure" by LadyWhiteWolf © "I trust that you enjoyed yourself at the ball. If I may say so, you look absolutely stunning in that gown. I'm sure that every eye was on your beautiful curves". My trained man, Evan said. I had chosen him above the other men from the town.. The men at the ball that I attended this night could not come close to cast a shadow on his inner shine. He has that "spark". The extra cut above average men, not only in looks, but also in a calm temperament. Tall, he towers well about my five-foot one inch frame. Shaved head and sparkling green eyes, the day he first came to my estate to inquire about the unusual position that I had advertised in the town. He made my inner juices flow, not to mention the fact that the mere sight of him caused my mouth to water. But I kept my thoughts and opinions about him to myself. It was only when he came to the estate to interview with me that I told him about the position and how well he would be comp

Baron Samedi And Salem Lacroix
n Vodun or voodoo, Baron Samedi (Baron Saturday, also Baron Samdi, Bawon Samedi, or Bawon Sanmdi) is one of the aspects of Baron, one of the loa. He is a loa of the dead, along with Baron's other incarnations Baron Cimetière, and Baron La Croix. Baron Samedi is usually depicted with a top hat, black tuxedo, dark glasses, and cotton plugs in the nostrils, as if to resemble a corpse dressed and prepared for burial in Haitian style. He has a white, frequently skull-like face (or actually has a skull for a face) and speaks in a nasal voice. He is one of the Guédé, or an aspect of them, or possibly their spiritual father. His wife is the loa Maman Brigitte. Baron Samedi stands at the crossroads, where the souls of dead humans pass on their way to Guinee. As well as being the all-knowing loa of death, he is a sexual loa , frequently represented by phallic symbols and noted for disruption, obscenity, debauchery, and having a particular fondness for rum. Additionally, he is the loa of love

The Baroness' Seat Of Power
The Baroness' Seat of Power by mcfbridge © Baroness Von Higgenpoof was a shrew. There was simply no other way to describe her. It seemed that her favorite pasttime was screaming at whoever happened to be nearby. She screamed at the butler when her lunch was late. She screamed at the maid if the floors weren't spotless. She even screamed at her husband for apparently no particular reason at all. Matilda Von Higgenpoof was 47 years old. She had married the Baron when she was 23. Matilda had expected to be a duchess by now. Certainly, she should at least be countess. Instead, that lazy no good husband of hers had remained a baron. He had no ambition at all. In fact, he had the nerve to tell her she should relax and enjoy her station in life. Well!! That might be good enough for a lazy bum like Frederick, but Matilida Muffinpuffin had not been born into this world to be satisfied with being a mere baroness. The baron had married well over his station when she had agreed to be his wi

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 01
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 01 by mcfbridge © The following story is in 10 parts and is a sequel to a little tale I wrote called the Baroness' Seat of Power. For those who have read my other stories, this one gets a little more intense than some of my others. There is more actual forced sex and abuse. If you don't like that sort of thing, this is not a story for you. Matilda Von Higgenpoof was miserable. It had been exactly a year since that awful evening when the butler had found her stuck under that secret trap door. And what a horrible year it had been. The Baroness reflected back on everything she'd endured for the past 12 months. Just thinking about it made her shudder. The worst thing, though, was that as bad as things had been, they would get much worse this evening. Frederick had told Matilda that they were going to host a special party to celebrate the anniversary of that night. All his friends from the village were coming. The baroness wanted to break down and c

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 02a
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 02 by mcfbridge © After the two men had left her alone, the baroness tried to collect herself. Her poor behind hurt so bad. And what in the name of God did Frederick want with her in the main hall? Well, it didn't really matter, she had to go. With a final little sob, Matilda removed her knickers from around her knees, and waddled off to the main hall. The hall itself was a huge room. It was the main dining area, as well as the place where all baronial business was conducted. One side of the hall had a number of long tables where staff and guests could be seated to eat. The other side of the hall was completely empty, except for one large ornate chair for the baron himself. When Matilda arrived at the main hall, Frederick pointed to a corner of the room and told Matilda to go there and wait. The baroness started to demand that Frederick tell her what was going on. But, before she even finished getting the first word out, Frederick smacked he

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 02b
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 02 by mcfbridge © In one of the corners was a broom. Someone had left it standing there after cleaning. It was perfect. Lily sent one of the guys over to get it. He brought the thing back and handed it to Lily. The young woman took the broom and lined the handle up with the opened hole. Then she brought the wood to the hole. Matilda didn't know what to do. She had been laid down on her back. Now a bunch of people were between her legs, looking for her vagina. The baroness could feel people pulling on her stomach and thighs. Then, she almost fainted as she felt someone grab her vaginal lips and pull them open. Matilda was about to beg Frederick to stop her humiliation, when he came storming over. Thank God! The baron was finally going to put a stop to this. Sure enough, Frederick told Lily to stop what she was doing. Matilda relaxed and prepared to get up, when she heard what her husband said next. That couldn't have been right. She must have

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 03a
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 03 by mcfbridge © Matilda spent the rest of that day in her room. She couldn't bear to face anyone. Frederick allowed the servants to bring her meal to her. The baroness didn't even speak to any of them. But she couldn't help noticing the quirky little smile each one of them had as they looked at her. After crying herself to sleep that night, Matilda awoke early the next day. At first, she thought that yesterday had to have been a dream. But a moment later, the sting that still remained in her bottom convinced her it wasn't. Surely though, Frederick didn't really mean for her to do what he had said. That had to have been a bad joke. Her mind made up, the obese baroness got out of bed and began to dress. The distressed woman realized that she was still wearing the same dress she had worn for the last three days. Quickly, she put on something fresh and clean. Then Matilda went looking for her husband. After leaving her room, Matilda found S

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 03b
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 03 by mcfbridge © When the pain finally let up a little, Matilda looked over at the baron. It was only when she saw the switch in his hand that she realized what had happened. But before she could say anything, Frederick told her to get her tits back up in the air. The baroness pleaded with him not to switch her boobs again. The pain was unbearable. The baron was not moved. He told Matilda that her breasts had to be punished. She had two more strokes coming, and if she didn't get those huge, floppy things back in the air this instant, it would be five more. The poor baroness began crying, but she didn't dare disobey. Matilda grabbed her poor nipples again and lifted her boobs in front of her face again. This time she knew what was coming and she saw her husband pull the switch back out of the corner of her eye. As the switch started forward, the hugely obese woman screamed before it even landed on her breasts. That little piece of wood hit,

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 04
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 04 by mcfbridge © Looking back on it, Matilda decided that it was the day after her first inspection that her new life really began. She woke up that morning; sore, tired, and hungry. So the baroness left her quarters and headed down to the hall. When she arrived, Matilda found one of the cooks and told him to bring her breakfast out. The huge woman sat down at a table and waited for her meal. At least some good food might soothe her poor nerves. A few minutes later, the cook appeared with a large bowl. He sat it down in front of the baroness. The bowl was filled with some sort of awful looking porridge. Matilda glared at the cook and asked him where her regular breakfast was. She wanted eggs, and sausages, and sweet cakes. The cook just told the baroness that this was what Lily had ordered for her breakfast. If Matilda didn't like it, she should take it up with her. Of course, if she insisted the cook would bring her more food, but she wou

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 05
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 05 by mcfbridge © Matilda slept fitfully that night. Between the pain in various places and the fear of what her life would be like, the baroness was just unable to relax. But, the dawn came inevitably, and it was time for Matilda to face another day. The next week and half or so became a blur. Everyday was the same. Matilda would get up and have her one meal of the day. She would spend the rest of the day starving and dreading her evening's inspection. Each night, she would report to the hall with the broomsticks stuck up her holes. Lily would make her spread and then she would play with her holes. Then she would yank the poles out. After that, she would have to suck off some servant. Lily said this was to improve her "skills". Some skill. Finally, they would bend her over, shove the sticks back in her, and send her off with a switch to her pussy. Matilda didn't know how much more of this she could take. Every morning she woke up sick at

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 06
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 06 by mcfbridge © The rest of that night had been miserable. Matilda's boobs hurt so bad, that lying down on her stomach was out of the question. Also, her vagina and anus were so stretched from what had been done to them, that she couldn't get comfortable anyway. The baroness really wasn't sure that she ever fell asleep, but somehow she looked up and it was morning. After that, Matilda didn't remember any significant nights for several months. In fact, things got a little easier for a while. About a week later, Frederick announced that the baroness' oral training was complete. After that, Matilda hadn't had to put any more penises in her mouth or drink any more cum. Of course she still had to show up every night with those brooms stuffed up her holes, but somehow she was almost getting used to it. Anyway, several months did go by. Matilda would eat her single meal every morning and endure her inspection every evening. The baroness had actu

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 07a
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 07 by mcfbridge © The next morning, Matilda's nether parts were still incredibly sore. The poor woman stumbled down to get her breakfast and then made her way back to her room. While Matilda had lost enough weight so that she didn't waddle anymore, her holes still stung enough that walking was uncomfortable. When she got back to her room, Matilda ate her cereal and then tried to figure out how she would get through the next evening. The baroness prayed that no one would deserve a reward this time. Her anal tract still hurt terribly. It was stretched out and sore, and all raw inside. It was going to be bad enough getting that broomstick up there. Matilda didn't think she would be able to take it if another man shoved his penis in there and started plowing in and out of it again. Before last night, Matilda had despised sucking on a penis. Now, if Frederick would let her put some guy's thing in her mouth instead of up her butt, she would jump at t

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 07b
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 07 by mcfbridge © Matilda was a little startled when she felt her vagina being pried open, but it was hard to even notice it when she had her tongue up inside another woman. The baroness kept stabbing her tongue into Phillipa's vagina like she was supposed to. She guessed that the rest of the group was having a good time starting at her spread open privates, but that didn't even bother her at that moment. Matilda would have shown anyone anything if she could have taken her tongue out of Phillipa. A few moments later, Phillipa began to buck harder. Then, Matilda could feel her whole body shudder on top of her. A moment after that, Matilda heard Phillipa start to yell something and then something exploded between the baroness' legs. At that instant, Matilda lost track completely of where she was. Something had happened to her vagina and her entire lower body was on fire. The baroness screamed and screamed, but her face was muffled by Phillipa

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 08a
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 08 by mcfbridge © It had taken Matilda almost another month to come to grips with her new situation. Almost every night, someone would deserve a reward. So the poor baroness would either end up with a dick rummaging up her butt, or her tongue up some woman's holes. Occasionally a man would win the reward and request her mouth instead. If a guy did that, Matilda would suck his dick for all she was worth. Getting a load of cum in her mouth was so much better than getting a cock rammed up her behind. The problem was that even on the evenings when she didn't get butt fucked, Matilda's ass was still sore from all the use it got on other nights. And of course to insure that her asshole didn't get to rest completely, the baroness still had to deal with those brooms stuck up her holes every night. However, as time had gone by, Matilda had determined that she could survive it. The baroness would go to her inspection and wait to see who got the rewa

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 08b
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 08 by mcfbridge © Matilda kept her mouth open until the first man stuck his thing in. As soon as it was in her mouth, the baroness locked her lips around it and began sucking as hard as she could. That awful thing was still thrusting up her behind and she had to finish this as quickly as possible. The dick in her mouth tasted vile, and she tried not to think about where it had just been. Matilda just concentrated on sucking it so it would shoot as soon as possible. With Matilda's mouth working as frantically as it possibly could, it didn't take Otto long. Very shortly he was leaving a huge load in the baroness' mouth. Then he got out of the way to let the next man get to that friendly tongue. The baroness couldn't help noticing the irony of the situation, even with that log of a penis still working in her asshole. Up until now, she had always hated it when the men shot their loads in her mouth. Now, Matilda was trying to get guys to cum in h

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 09a
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 09 by mcfbridge © When Matilda woke up the next morning, to her relief she found that her stretched and abused anus had managed to shut itself completely. The baroness rubbed her finger back there and found the hole totally closed. Of course the channel still hurt like Hell, but at least her asshole wasn't gaping open any more. Matilda made it through her inspection that night. She wasn't sure whether it was luck, or if Frederick had actually had a little mercy on her. Whichever it was, the person Matilda had to reward that night was a woman. So the baroness only had to eat out a pussy, and not take another dick up the butt. Matilda had never been so happy to kiss another woman's vagina in her life. The next few months went by. The routine stayed pretty much the same. Matilda would show up with her holes plugged. She would be given a pussy to kiss and lick, or a dick to take up her ass. Then she would be sent back to her room, with the stick

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 09b
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 09 by mcfbridge © Then, as she watched, Matilda saw Stephen pull out of Phillipa's ass, just as she felt the cock being removed from her own butt. After that, Matilda watched Stephen move behind her, and another servant take up a position behind Phillipa. Matilda felt Stephen's dick going into her anus, but she did her best to ignore it. She was watching Phillipa's face as another cock went up her fat ass. The baroness loved the look of misery on the little Spaniard's face as she was reamed once more. After she had watched Phillipa have her butt pounded a little while longer, Matilda turned to her left. There was Lily with a cock stuffed up her butt as well. Matilda was sure that Lily had at least had Frederick's dick up there, so she must be used to this somewhat. Still, she looked awfully pissed at what was happening to her. Then it was time for another switch. Matilda watched Stephen, who had just been up her own ass, move behind Lily. T

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 10a
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 10 by mcfbridge © The last month had been the most difficult for Matilda. It wasn't that the physical humiliation got harder. In all honesty it had let up quite a bit. It was her own feelings that were troubling her. When this first started Matilda hated it, she knew she hated it, and she knew she only endured it because she had no choice. Now, somehow she wanted to please her husband while she was being degraded. After that night with all the girls, the routine had gone back to normal, except for one thing. Matilda would still show up with her brooms inserted and her boobs tied up, she would still spread for inspection, but Frederick would not have her used for rewards. He would have one of the other women servants, or even Lily do it, but not Matilda. That had continued until a week ago. Matilda had gotten very puzzled. Certainly she was happy that she didn't have to suck dicks or have them shoved up her butt any more, but she was also afr

The Baroness' Seat Of Learning Ch. 10b
The Baroness' Seat of Learning Ch. 10 by mcfbridge © The baroness was in ecstasy. That had been the most wonderful thing she had ever felt. Catching her breath, she turned to her husband and asked him if it would be like that again. Frederick smiled at her and told Matilda that as long as she pleased him, it would be like that many times. Matilda smiled back and told her husband that she would just have to make sure that he was pleased. With that, Frederick pulled his wife to her feet and stood up himself to face the crowd. The baron announced that Matilda would be resuming her duties as baroness. She would of course take orders from him, but the staff was to obey her as well as himself. He would see to it, that his wife did not become as unbearable as before. Poor Lily thought she would die. She had come to this place to be Matilda's mistress, and now she would have to answer to her. She had a feeling that her life was going to take a definite turn for the worse. Matilda

Baroque Europe Part 1
Tuesday, January 10, 2006- Class 1: Unit I 1) Introduction: a) Baroque: cloudy period concept. Comes from Art History, describes characteristics in Art. i) Goals: are these art concepts applicable to history. b) 1598-1680: c) Required texts: Half.com, Amazon, abebooks, powells, alibris. MUST have specified edition. d) Must about religious anxiety: possession witchcraft, and demonic possession. e) Book to choose by Tuesday 17th. Buy on line, cerrteau and fox are paperback. i) De Certeau: the possession at Loudun, series of events that took place in 1632, in Poitou- the outcome of the events, burning at the stake by Fr. Grandier. Certeau died recently. Nuns accused Grandier of possessing them by devils. Great analysis- very difficult to read, oblique and abstract. French. ii) George Fox: primary source- founder of the quakers, this is his journal of the first years of his movement. From 1645-1652, odyssey of Fox takes place during the revolutionary war. Good insight into his

Baroque Europe Course Part 2
prince. The Theme of the mirror also calls up the notion of the istinction of the educated ruler and the arbitrary despot. c) What about the palace is Baroque: the control of nature, the tightly pruned hand of man. (The English garden is one that is all wild and growing all over the pace. Rejection on baroque) control not only of nature, but also of the populace and society. 3) Images: a) Creators of Versailles: all the creators come from bourgeois class. They would send him something and beg for his patronage. ix) Louis Le Vau: very fancily dressed in dark clothes, there is building in the background. x) Jules Hardouin-Mansart: xi) Charles Le Brun: wore red, may have been given that privileged of the king xii) Andre Le Notre: gardener, landscaper. 4) The role of religion: the church is as interested in control as the court is. The catholic church wants more of a heterodoxy of people coming back into the fold. The catholic church in Versailles. Counter reformation message, t

Baroness Rocked My Panties Off
okay.. not literally but if they had asked me to take my panties off, i would have. so. i drove to savannah this past saturday. it's 260 miles or so. in other words, i drove several hours over hundreds of miles to see a band i didn't even know existed 6 months ago but which has risen to the top of my list of favs every since the first song i had the pleasure of hearing (thank you but i hate you jed). i like the freedom of the open road though. there's something great about driving with one foot on the dash and the music loud enough to deafen most people.. i love it. it's me. it's what i do. i live in a town with 300 people. i haven't ever gotten out much. well, i hadn't got out much until i got divorced. now, i'm unstoppable. i went to savannah alone. i took my first cab ride from my hotel to the bar. i watched the band--alone. guys flirted with me. i didn't feel like an alien life form like i do down here or even in the bars in tallahassee. i looked fucking fabulous. i mean h

A Bar Owners Perspective Of Musicians And Business
Open Letter From a Bar Owner to Musicians Posted January 3, 2013 Filed under: Music | re-blogged from http://chrisledrew.wordpress.com/2013/01/03/open-letter-from-a-bar-owner-to-musicians/ The letter I have copied below was posted on Tampa Craigslist by a bar owner, but it was flagged for removal before I could provide a link or credit the author. But I managed to copy the content. So here it is, and I agree with a lot (although not all) of what he has to say. If more musicians clued into this perspective, the club scene would be much better: A bar, that is, an establishment that earns its revenue primarily from selling alcoholic beverages, measures its success by the ounce and the accounting is done everyday because we mostly live on the edge. So we spend our time trying to figure out how to sell more ounces. It’s not just how many people are in the house or how great the atmosphere is (that’s certainly important), but how many drinks, preferably premium, we sell in a da

Baron La Croix
Baron La Croix Baron La Croix is the spirit of one of the Guédé Barons, Baron La Croix. He is the ultimate suave and sophisticated spirit of Death - quite cultured and debonair. He has an existential philosophy about death, finding death's reason for being both humorous and absurd. Baron La Croix is the extreme expression of individuality, and offers to you the reminder of delighting in life's pleasures. Live happy and live well, for even the most rich and talented, or the most poor and resourceful people are not spared the ultimate universal experience - Death. Use: Use Baron La Croix as a focusing tool for coping with extreme change. He is ever the humorist, and will help you through your situation, reminding you to keep your sense of humor. The Guedeh Barons like to dress well, favoring long black coat tails and top hats, smoked glasses, and canes. You may emulate this to capture their essence and enhance your connection if you wish. Baron La Croix is particularly useful f

Baron Samedi
Baron Samedi is one of the Guédés, or spirits of Death, related to Baron Cimitère and Baron La Croix. Like Papa Legba, he is a guardian of the crossroads, the place where spirits cross over into our world. If the intercessions desired are with the loa, then Legba is saluted and asked to allow the loa to participate. If the intercessions are with the dead, then Guédé is the intercessor. The first burial in a cemetery is dedicated to Baron Samedi. Maya Deren retells the story of many Guédés dressed in top hat and smoked glasses descending on the presidential palace. It seems that some years ago, under the regime of President Borno, there suddenly appeared in the streets of Port-au-Prince a crowd of Ghedes (all of them houngans possessed by Ghede) wearing the "formal" costume of the lord: the tall top-hats, long black tail-coats, smoked glasses, cigarettes or cigars, and canes. An enormous crowd naturally collected about them, and joined them in their march to the Nat

Bar Part 3 Of 5 :)
"Hey, Jake, it's cold. Come up here and get under the covers with us," someone complained from not far away. I knew I heard a woman's voice, and I wondered if I were dreaming or if someone really were with me. Upon brief semiconscious reflection, I realized the voice had said, "with us." As my mind filtered dream from reality, I realized there were two women in bed with me. I opened my eyes, lifted my head, and saw a lightly-tanned redhead spooning a darker-complected brunette. I recalled the events of the previous evening and chuckled that Suz and Michele even were in my bed. "Amazing" is the word that came to my mind. "Hi, guys. I'm cold too. You two go ahead and crawl under the covers. I'll be right back," I answered as nonchalantly as possible. I checked the clock on my night stand. It read, two in the morning. "How did the clock know?" I wondered. I did what any guy would do if he were awakened in the middle of the night, after engaging in his first threesome with

Bar Part 4 Of 5
As I turned the corner onto my street, I wondered if I would see cars in my driveway. I'd spent an incredible Friday night and a memorable Saturday morning with two beautiful women. We'd even talked of spending at least the weekend together. My natural male insecurity still caused me to worry. I wanted to see these two again, but I had no easy way of contacting either of them. I didn't know their surnames. I didn't know where they lived. I had no email addresses. I didn't know their phone numbers. The sum total of identifying information I had about the two of them was where Michele worked. A wave of relief washed over me as I turned onto my driveway and saw two cars. I parked, gathered my purchases, bounced into the house, and was greeted by both a melodious, "Is that you, Jake?" and the obnoxious scent of fingernail polish. "Hi, Michele. It's me." A second woman's voice chirped, "We're upstairs, painting our nails. We're showered, we're squeaky clean, and we both smell de

Bar Part 5 Of 5 (well There Could Be More But Not Botherng Right Now)
"I know Evelyn and Jenny are a couple, but I don't know if Tanya is just a friend, or if the three of them have some sort of a more complicated relationship," Suz explained in response to her lover's question. "Evelyn's the one who's your client, right?" Michele asked. "Yes, she is. We've done several ad campaigns for her vineyard over the last couple of years. She can be a bit extreme at times. Oh, I haven't told her we're bringing Jake to dinner." "I wonder how Jake will react to seeing her?" I interrupted the women's conversation as I called upstairs to the bedroom from my home's main floor, "Which of you owns the Jetta?" "I do," came Michele's voice. "Throw down your keys so I can move it." Michele's head poked over the half wall which separates the bedroom above from the living room below. She smiled and told me, "Catch." She tossed and I caught. A few minutes later I was back inside. I'd moved Michele's car away from the garage door, pulled my Jeep i

Bar Play Time
I've always loved bars or clubs but this place was my favourite. The music was good and the way the lights danced around the floor was mesmerizing. I must say the guys that went here were hot. I've always been fond of 'emo' boys with the shaggy hair that went in their eyes. It was something about that style made me want them, get under their skin... or rather their clothes. I stood by the bar with my vodka at hand moving to the music that came on. As usual the bar was filled with people that would normally be classed as 'out-casts' in society. My eyes scanned the scene, the lovers were off to the far right in the darkness when the odd quiet song came on you could just make out the pants and deep breaths coming from that area. In front of me was the rowdy dance floor. Some people head-banging or clearing the way for mosh pits. Best bar by far. I placed my empty glass down on the bar and made my way through the crowd to the DJ. The noise was immense this far forward so much so i h

Barrels And The Tender Trio
I used to have a seminal theory involving the two films "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" and "Snatch." I had interrogated many a movie-goer as to which film they enjoyed more. More often than not, the first of the two that had been seen would be their personal favorite. There have been a few tempremental individuals who sabotaged my theory, yet the initial prediction would usually be upheld. The theory is inconsequential, but I cite it, because I recently saw the latest production of Matthew Vaugh, "Layer Cake." He actually helmed this movie in his directorial debut. While the characters' dialects make it difficult to understand at times, I found Layer Cake to be on par with his two previous endeavors. The movie was smart and cool highlighted by the same cinematographic nuances and sentimental grittiness that epitomizes Lock Stock and Snatch. I highly recommend it. This weekend consisted of two pilgrammages to the Big Easy. Friday night, I hit up Frenchmen Street accompanied by a

Bar Room Truth, Bar Room Poet
yea guys...i do actually borrow pens from bartenders, and scribble this shit on napkins while everyone in the bar looks over me. sometimes it's ok, sometimes i look at it the next morning and laugh at how drunk i was. hope you enjoy. last night was a drunk and angry night :0 don't take any of this seriously though. just me venting false wiskey fueled emotions... Pure Anger to Forget how dare you in horror's haste make me regret a dream social sacrifice of sin to have been in a real love so i'll find false love to fucking forget you Carry Carry Away rhyme rhyme away the misery into notes of love sick sorrow smile at the easy pray that they carry her away from hum drum existence seek the all time high of love under the pleasure of fucking in my place Simple Statement you fell into habbits and fool yourself into accepting the mistake of heartbreak or the idea that I DON'T KNOW YOU Portrait of Ivory and Jade seduce me with your eyes and

Barry White - Let The Music Play
Let The Music Play Tell you folks what, I enjoy listening to this dude's music. It is also known as music to get laid by and in some states it can be considered a date rape drug LOL..... Here's to Barry for helping people get laid for over 40 years.

The Barrier Removed!
In order to free us from the slave market of sin, God designed a means by which His perfect standards can be met. God the Father sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to remove the barrier between God and man. When Jesus Christ came to earth to become the God-man, He was born outside the slave market. His humanity was perfect. Because of His unique birth, He alone had no sinful nature. He never committed a sin Himself, and no divine punishment was due Him. Only Christ qualified on His own merit to meet the perfect standards of God. Only Christ could purchase our freedom because He was free from sin and outside the slave market. God the Father as the Supreme Judge accepted Him as your substitute. Jesus Christ chose to be judged on the cross for man's sins. "God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." He paid the death penalty on the cross for you and every other human being. Every sin ever committed - past, present, a

Bar Room Chat Translations
Bar Room Chat Translations BAR ROOM CHAT TRANSLATIONS: "You get this one, next round is on me." (We won't be here long enough to get another round.) "I'll get this one, next one is on you." (Happy hour is about to end...now drafts are a dollar, but by the next round they'll be 4.50 a pop.) "Hey, where is that friend of yours?" (I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.) "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." [female] (I'm easy.) "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." [male] (I'm gay.) "Ever try a body shot?" [male to female] (I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.) "Ever try a body shot?" [female to male] (If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?) "I don't feel well, let's go home." [female] (You are paying more attention to your friends than me.) "I don't feel well, let's go home." [male] (I'm horny.)

Barriers And Redemption
I see barriers and obstacles every day in peoples lives. Some dig at the base some climb. Some just sit and wonder why. Like the turkey in the rain they will drown. How strange this behavior to sit and do nothing. They search for a sign when the barrier is the sign. Barriers only stop those who ask why. There is no why and drowning is not an option. Answers are only a question away. I know a person that a year ago that was not in a good place. Looking back he saw the lie for what it was. He was lost and and was ashamed for being at the place he was at. This changed as the days ticked by. One day then the next it was not a pleasant road filled with hills and endless climbs. How many Hills does it take to find Redemption? Climbing one hill only to find another and then another. The hills are never ending. I now know there wil be hills till the day I return home. I learned that the view is breath taking at the top and nerve racking on the way down. I near the top now and I kn

Barras Salesman
A Young Glasgow lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. 'Do you have any sales experience?' asked the manager. 'Oh Aye; uv dun a bitta sales stuff back up thi road anat, o'er inah barras anat, know?', nodded the young weegie. The manager liked the lad, so he gave him the job. The young Scot's first day was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down to see how he was settling in. 'So... how many sales did you make today'? asked the manager. 'Eh...Jist the wan like.' replied the young weegie. The manager was immediately disappointed. 'Wh-a-a-t? Just the one? Harrods's sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day! Dear me! Oh well, you probably did your best - how much was the sale for, anyway'? '£101,237.64' said the lad. The Harrods manager choked. 'Blimey... One hundred and one thousand, two hundred and thirty-seven pounds and sixty four pence! What in hell did you sell him?' 'Well, fir

Barrio 101
Alright many of you mummers have seen Urban and I speak barrio in the mumms, but how many know what we are saying. This blog is to teach you the basics so you can enjoy the fun and maybe join us. Lesson 1: Learn to type slang: Ju = you Dat = that etc etc... This is very basic level, a sample sentece would be like this: Ju kno dat mang(olmes, esse) be sprung fo dat ruca(chica, puta) which translates to: You know that man(close friend male, man) is in love with that babe(chick, bitch). Lesson 2: Barrio is derived from Mexican decent so throw in some spanish. common words: Puta = bitch mi = me y = and loco = crazy gringo = American or Americanized person sample sentence (Lesson 1 and 2): Ju kno dat puta is loco fo mi y ju dun kno wat to do olmes. translation: You know that bitch is crazy for me and you don't know what to do brother. Lesson 3: Minimal grammar, no punctuation, and simple words. This means most of the words used properly in this blog are

Barry Bonds Home-run Scandal Somehow Becomes Feel-good Sports Story Of Summer
SAN FRANCISCO—Although Barry Bonds remains the target of criticism over his possible—some say almost certain—use of performance-enhancing substances, the fact that Bonds has not been implicated in dogfighting, nightclub shootings, gambling, or murdering his family has transformed his controversial pursuit of the all-time home-run record into the feel-good sports story of the summer. "Until we have definitive proof one way or the other, the very presence of so many questions about Bonds and steroids will haunt his achievements forever," ESPN's Peter Gammons said Monday. "However, at this moment, I think we'd all have to agree that having a raging juiced-up misanthrope break the greatest record in sports is a ray of sunshine compared to everything else on the sports page." "What kind of person electrocutes dogs, let alone fights them?" Gammons added. "I simply can't comprehend it. Go, Barry!" While Bonds has been routinely greeted with booing and jeering whenever he played outsi

Barrier
There is a barrier between us, invisible, hidden Yet solid and cruel like a chain-link fence I want nothing more than to touch you I reach out, feeling nothing but air And cold metal, keeping me from your warmth And I cry Desperate for the feel of you For the warmth of your skin, and the taste Of your lips, and the scent of your hair Yet I can’t get to you, and I hurt myself Clawing at metal bands, my hands bleed But sometimes, you come up to the fence Pressing against me, letting me glimpse you Among the holes in the fence, patches of warm Comfort, our lips touch for seconds and I share In your warmth, I can feel you, and for a moment I know you want me so much But it passes, that moment, and while I still hold you You’re torn away brutally, leaving me empty Pressed, cold and naked, against the fence, Screaming for you And mourning my newfound loneliness

Barren Realm (1995)
Shadows lurking behind trees each controlling me at times none are exactly free all making me a mime Memories forgotten shadows know each begotten none act like foe Smiles wander from nowhere tears from dry eyes blank stares empty lies Void of memory my soul is in many or maybe many in the soul of me not sure if any

Bar Room Hero
Bar Room Hero by SDCMC © So, I'm having another one of those days. The kind of day that fills your head with this buzzing noise akin to a wasps nest in your brain. I've Just left work, a little tired and whole lot frustrated at people in general. I never could understand how so many people could be so utterly clueless. Like Mindless chickens simply pecking the sand as they pass through existence. So having decided that my mind can't take any more stupidity I decide to head on over to my favorite pub for a pint of black. Nothing better to wind down a long day than a nice tall, glass of Guinness. So I stroll through the door and take my favorite seat at the bar. This seat has been my savior on so many occasions I can't even count. It's almost as if it were tailor made to my very own specification. A dear friend, and companion on many a rough day. The wood of the bar under my arms is a nice, soft, mahogany. You can tell this bar has been owned by someone who cares for it like they wou

The Barracks Door
A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open." This is not a phrase men normally use, so he went on his way looking a bit puzzled. When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open." He zipped up and finished his shopping. He then intentionally got in the line to check out where the lady was that told him about his "barracks door". He was planning to have a little fun with her. When he reached her counter he said, "When you saw my barracks door open did you see a soldier standing in there at attention?" The lady (being smarter than a man) thought for a moment and said, "No, no I didn't. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags!!!

Barrett Jackson Auction
http://www.barrett-jackson.com/application/search/carlist.aspx#ListVehicles the above link is to the Barrett Jackson auto auction in Scottsdale Jan. 12-20th..... someone quick give me the powerball numbers so I can go shopping :D

Bar Rules
There's more to it then tipping a glass and acting foolish. 1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour. 2. Always toast before doing a shot. 3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast. 4. Change your toast at least once a month. 5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake. 6. Buying a strange woman a drink is not really cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb. 7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night. 8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails. 9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile. 10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink. 11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now I'm going

Barracks Playground
Title: Barracks Playground Running thru the fields I see daisy weeds Lost beads and broken swings, abandoned dreams arguments between dope feigns, Dirty kids pickin' teams, playin' tag dancin' to sirens. I see broken glass of long nights passed, dead birds and cats, street dogs and trash, hustlers mingling to protect their stash, prostitutes strutting in my path. Rimless back boards and ball-less courts, graffiti on walls, empty packs of Newport's. I see monkey bars, hot sliding boards, kids jumping rope with old extension cords. Bathrooms locked shut, water fountain pressure low, faded hop-scotch lines which way to go? I see merry-go-rounds that don't spin around, see-saws that just go down. Baseball cages dying of rust, night lights on half them bust. Grass real high needs to be cut, running thru the fields I see daises and such. Police lockin' up the neighborhood drunk, young boys learning how to dunk. Girls keepin' rhythm jumping double-dutch, pi

Bar Realizations
I went out to the bar last night, and stayed pretty sober. I didn't get smashed until I got home and started doing everclear shots. It was interesting, I found out I have more good times than I remember. Apparently, I know 80% of the regulars very well. Couldn't tell you any of their names, but they all know me. There was a new cocktail waitress...first night I've seen her. First thing she says to me: "So, I notice you are talking a little bit clearer tonight..." I hog the cocktail waitresses. They play pool and chat with me all night instead of bringing the other customers drinks...apparently there is resentment among quite a few people over this, but management doesn't seem to mind. I get looks. MANY looks. I felt like a piece of meat last night. Perhaps I'm cuter than I think? Lots of guys want to kick my ass. Apparently they don't like the fact that their girlfriends are eyeball fucking me. One dude almost kicked my ass, and I didn't even glance at his girlfriend....

Bar Room Translations
BAR ROOM TRANSLATIONS * "You get this one, next round is on me." (We won't be here long enough to get another round.) * "I'll get this one, next one is on you." (Happy hour is about to end...drafts are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.) * "Hey, where is that friend of yours?" (I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.) * "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female - I'm easy.) * "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male - I'm gay.) * "Ever try a body shot?" (male to female - I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.) * "Ever try a body shot?" (female to male - If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?) * "I don't feel well, let's go home." (female - You are paying more attention to your friends than me.) * "I don't feel well, let's go home." (male - I'm horny.) * "Who's got the n

Bar Room Translations
* "You get this one, next round is on me." (We won't be here long enough to get another round.) * "I'll get this one, next one is on you." (Happy hour is about to end...drafts are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.) * "Hey, where is that friend of yours?" (I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.) * "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female - I'm easy.) * "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male - I'm gay.) * "Ever try a body shot?" (male to female - I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.) * "Ever try a body shot?" (female to male - If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?) * "I don't feel well, let's go home." (female - You are paying more attention to your friends than me.) * "I don't feel well, let's go home." (male - I'm horny.) * "Who's got the next round?" (I haven't bought

Barry Mann - Who Put The Bomp
Who put the Bop - Drifters I'd like to thank the guy Who wrote the song That made my baby Fall in love with me Who put the bomp In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp? Who put the ram In the rama lama ding dong? Who put the bop In the bop shoo bop shoo bop? Who put the dip In the dip da dip da dip? Who was that man? I'd like to shake his hand He made my baby Fall in love with me (yeah!!) When my baby heard "Bomp bah bah bomp " "Bah bomp bah bomp bah bomp bomp" Every word went right into her heart And when she heard them singin' "Rama lama lama lama" "Rama ding dong" She said we'd never have to part So Who put the bomp In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp? Who put the ram In the rama lama ding dong? Who put the bop In the bop shoo bop shoo bop? Who put the dip In the dip da dip da dip? Who was that man? I'd like to shake his hand He made my baby Fall in love with me (yeah!!) Each time that we're alone Boogity boogity boogity Boogity boogity boogity shoo Sets m

Barrack Obama...i Wanna Know...who's Your Daddy?
Why is Barrack Obama refusing to produce his birth certificate? Why won't he say what his blood type is? Could it be that if the birth certificate was shown, someone besides Obaba, Sr would to entered as the father? Could it be that if his blood type were known, it would show that Obama, Sr couldn't possibly be his father? hmmmmm...intriguing.... Look at the pics! Obama, Jr looks nothing like Obama, Sr! But, he does look like Franklin Marshall Davis, a communist...look at the ears...look at the eyebrows...omg What do you think?

Bar-room Fantasy
BARROOM FANTASY You see me walk into the bar, turning in your stool, to hide the smile that formed on your face, when you saw me. I make it to the bar, it is crowded, and I place a hand on your back and say excuse me. You turn and smile at me and I smile back. I order my drink, lift my hand from your back and walk away. You turn in your stool and follow my movement to the only open table. I see you checking me out, from the corner of my eye; I turn, and smile at you, which makes you smile back. My cock is throbbing and I’m thinking about you and your wonderful body encased in a white silk blouse, white lace brace, a black silk skirt and white short spike heeled shoes. My manhood grows harder and longer, thinking about the sweet flesh of your cleavage that you proudly displayed for me, smiling the whole time. Both of us are thinking the same thing, wondering if I’m going to buy you a drink and sit down next to you. You swirl in your bar stool and stop to face me. You smile,

Bar-room Rewritten
He comes walking and orders his drink from the bar, near where I am sitting, looks me over and stares out of the corner of his eye as he walks to a table. After a few minutes he comes over and asks if he could buy me a drink & sits in the seat next to me. A few minutes of small talk, he asks me to dance, so we get up to dance for a few songs. He leads me back to the bar, where we enjoy little more small talk and I get up on the dance floor with a friend, whos there with her hubby. We get a little crazy on the dance floor getting down and a bit dirty teasing the guys that are watching. After I get back to the bar where he is sitting, I notice he's got a problem showing. The bulge in his pants could hardly be missed. He moves his stool closer to mine and starts softly nuzzigly my neck. I kind of make him jump a little when I reach under the bar and start rubbing my hands long the inner part of his thigh. We keep that up for a few minutes and my friend comes over. She always checking on

Barramundi With Sweet Corn Risotto And Onion-basil Salsa
Ingredients: Makes 4 Servings for Risotto * 6 ears fresh corn , kernels cut from cob, cobs reserved * 2 Tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil * 1 small onion , diced (about 1 cup) * 1 3/4 cups carnaroli rice * 1/2 cup dry white wine , such as Sauvignon Blanc * 1 1/2 tsp. kosher salt * 6 Tbsp. unsalted butter for Fish * 4 pieces barramundi or farmed striped bass (about 5 ounces each), skin on * 1/8 tsp. kosher salt * 1 Tbsp. canola oil for Salsa * 1 medium red onion , peeled and thinly sliced lengthwise * 1 tsp. sugar * 1 tsp. kosher salt * Freshly ground black pepper * A few drops lime juice (about 1 wedge) * 2 tsp. olive oil * 10 large basil leaves, gently torn To make risotto: Put corncobs and 6 cups water in a pot; bring to a simmer over medium-high heat. Cook about 20 minutes, then continue to simmer as you make risotto. Meanwhile, in a food processor, puree corn kernels 1 to 2 minutes; s

Bar Room Napkins And Match Books
No matter what drink you order or how you want it mixed everyt drink has something in common...a napkin or coaster. they are thrown down by busy bartenders and slid under your drink by aggrivated awaitresses who are tired of the mess left behind by the beer you nurse waiting on someone who never seems to show. They are versitile little wastes of paper. They serve as address books, potential date books, directions, coozies, lipstick blotters, mess cleaners, road maps, doodle pads,and IOU's. The list goes on and on. Their close cousin the match book is classically used for numbers with no names and a reminder of where you were when you were to drunk to notice. For a few sweethearts these handy scraps of paper serve as canvas for drunken "I love you" hearts, and poems that don't rhyme. I had a creative writing teacher that once told me that some of the best ideas come from bar room napkins Great ideas happen in an instant and are gone as quickly as they appear. So always car

Barry Manilow Gay
Join the World's Largest SEX and SWINGER Personals Community. Join for FREE. Nov 2, 2007 ... barry manilow gay, high school sweetheart, john w baldwin: Hello, Joe! Thank you for contacting me through All Experts. Is Barry Manilow gay? 66 Responses. Last post: 29 minutes ago | Thread started: ... WELLINGTON, New Zealand - It

Barry Jennings
NEW INFORMATION ON THE DEATH OF 911 EYEWITNESS BARRY JENNINGS SEEMS TO POINT TO FOUL PLAYBy Jack Bloodwww.wFUradio.comwww.deadlinelive.infoBarry Jennings, a key 9/11 eyewitness who was an emergency coordinator for the New York Housing Authority, passed away last August 2008 at age 53 from undisclosed circumstances. Mr. Jennings was an eyewitness to the devastation of the World Trade center towers on September 11th 2001.On the morning of 911 Barry Jennings with Michael Hess, (one of Rudy Giuliani's highest ranking appointed officials, New York city's corporation counsel), entered the famed Building 7.It was just after the first attack on the North tower, but before the second plane hit the South Tower, when Barry Jennings escorted Michael Hess to the World Trade Center Tower 7. Mr. Jennings recalls a large number of police officers in the lobby of WTC 7 when they arrived. The two men went up to the 23rd floor, but could not get in, so they went back to the lobby and the police took them

Barriers......[9/2/08]
HANDCUFFED AND CHAINED TO A BRICK WALL OF PAINRESIDING ON THE OTHER SIDEIS A FLOATING STAR THAT I CAN SEE IN THE MINISCULE CRACKSITS PRESENCE ALONE BECKONS ME TO COME FORTH TO ITBUT WHAT DOES THIS STAR CONTAIN?WHAT IS ITS STRENGTHS?ITS WEAKNESSES?WHAT WILL TRANSPIRE IF I EVER GET THE CHANCETO EMBRACE IT?WHY IS THIS BARRIER HERE TO KEEP ME FROM IT?IS IT THERE FOR MY OWN GOOD? OR SOMETHING SINISTER TO KEEP ME IN A STATE OF LIFELONG SADNESS?BUT THE TRUE QUESTION THAT CLAWS AT MY SOULIS WHEN?WHEN WILL I BE ABLE TO EMBRACE THIS STAR?UNTIL THAT QUESTION IS ANSWEREDI'LL BELIEVE IN MYSELFFIGHT TO BREAK LOOSE FROM THE BARRIERLOOK AFTER THE STARAND MAKE SURE NO HARM IS BESTOWED UPON ITFOR ITS VERY PRESENCE BRINGS A SMILE TO MY FACEAND THE FACT THAT THE STAR IS MERELY A METAPHOROF THE ONE WHO I HOLD DEAR TO MY HEART.....

Barry White - Just The Way You Are
I never take anything for granted Only a fool maybe takes things for granted Just because it's here today It can be gone tomorrow And that's one thing that you Never in your life ever have to worry about me If I'll ever change towards youbecause Baby I love you Yeah I love you Just the way... You are...

Barriers
I'm reading Stephen King's book "Under The Dome" I would read anything that man writes. If the objective of a writer is to take you into a world of their own creation, invite you to nibble at the tastes, touches, scents, sounds, and behaviors of entities of their own generation (power not chronological span) then he succeeds in all areas, all the time. What a gift it has been for me. People, places, and spaces I would never have envisioned lay spread before me in glorious detail. It makes me think. I can take his scenarios and place a different topographical map of my own more personal questions over the landscape and sometimes it helps me come to new understandings. I suppose a writer of words is like a singer of songs. They start with the raw material that God gifted them with, and put it out before the diverse population, who then takes it and combines it with their own images and something entirely different could be found. It's easy to recreate this phenonmenom. Just put the wron

Barricade-stars
Trapped on the terraces, I looked at you and knew You were the only thing that mattered There was no one for me but you In Harmony Street we beat a man Just for standing there I held my breath as I watched you swing Then run your fingers through your hair Oh, how could anyone not love the terrible things you do? Oh, how could anyone not want to try and help you? In Bermondsey in Burberry, you held me at the barricade, the pigs arrived with tear gas And I wept at the mistakes we made We stalked the streets like animals And danced as windows shattered For our island, for the thrill of it, for everything that mattered Oh, how could anyone not want to rip it all apart? Oh, how could anyone not love your cold, black heart? I found you on a Saturday, and that was where I lost you You had finally walked away because of what it cost you, years later when I saw your face In line to catch the morning train, you looked like you'd been softened Like you never really love

Barrel Eating
Dolly Reach into me Past the crimson scars tattooed against My plush heart I am not broken See these stitches, hand-crafted by dirty hands Filthy lovely needles Hazel blinking eyes That don't close in the glow of Your ancient moonbeam smile I finally belong

Barrel On It And Get It In The Seats," Walker Said. Joey Votto Had Two Hits For The Reds, But Cincinnati Was Undone By Some Slick
ASHBURN, Va. Sean Weatherspoon Pink Jersey . -- Washington Redskins two-time Pro Bowl linebacker Brian Orakpo and defensive end Adam Carriker are out for the season with injuries. Coach Mike Shanahan said Monday that Orakpo suffered another tear of the pectoral muscle near his left shoulder in Sundays 31-28 loss to the St. Louis Rams. Orakpo had surgery on the same shoulder after a suffering similar injury in the final game of last season. Carriker tore the quad tendon at the base of his right knee in the first quarter of Sundays game. The Redskins now have to replace two defensive starters on a team that has allowed 63 points in its first two games. Tyson Clabo Elite Jersey . -- Zach Randolph leaped to make a block from behind on Brandon Rush and instead hit him in the head, throwing the Golden State Warriors forward off balance and sending him crashing to the court in a scary fall. John Abraham Jersey . The 17-year-old leads the QMJHL scoring list with two goals, five assists and a p

Bar Scene
i was sitting at the bar listening to the music and drinking my rum and coke then you come walking in the door wearing tight blue jeans and a tight shirt your muscles were rippleing under your pull over you looked soooooooo good i was wearing a strapless top and a short short skirt with no panties in case i was going to get some action that nite. i walked over to the pool table where u were and layed my money down then walked back to the table where i was sitting and ordered another drink. i was getting hot watching you play pool that i started to play with my ice that was left in my glass. i would bring the ice cube up to my lips and suck on it and then run it down my neck you looked over and seen me slide the ice down to my clevage then said it was my turn to play. i walked over and picked up the cue stick and played dumb and said i didn't really know how to play so you came over to me and put your large muscular arms around me and told me how to hold the cue and shoot

Bars+bill= Fun ....assholes+drama= Jimmy & Jenn
well the bar was great the other night my bestfriend and her finance even went ....of course tim threatened bill by telling him that if he hurt me in any way then tim was gonna kick his ass....he got smacked by me for that ...i asked bill if he was high the other night and he said "yeh" and gave me that boyish grin that i ended up practically melting...so me and tine came up with a plan to see if he really meant that he loved me and when that plan didn't work i came out and asked him if he knew what he said before he hung up and he said "tell me what it was" ....and i just laughed and said "u make me nervous as fuck" ...then kid rock's "picture" came on and he grabbed my hand and said comeon ....so while we were dancing i said "i love u" and he said "i love u too" then i asked him if he meant it and he said yeh then he kissed me and told me that he just wanted to make sure i meant it and could say it to him first .......then i actually did shots with him and tine ...then mom, donny, ti

Bars Losed In Cities Visited By The Pope? Shenanigans!
I was reading Google news today, to find that cities where the pope was visiting were closing their taverns and not selling alcohol in grocery stores or restaurants while the pope was in town. (read the article here http://bcc.rcav.org/06-06-05/intl5.htm) This kind of behavior will not be tolerated. As the pope, I demand that when I visit your city, all of your bars and taverns best be opened. If you want to maintain order and show respect for the pope, you better not only have all of your bars and taverns opened, but make sure that there are enough adult beverages for this Pontiff and my congregation. It is not a small sacrifice to close bars on a papal visit, but it is all out sacrilege! It will be financially devestating for you to close your bars on a papal visit. Remember this. My congregation is thirsty, and we come with cash in hand. Lava hot springs did not close their bars while the pope was in town, but they ran out of liquor. Later they ran the pope out of tow

Bar- Starlight
ok, this isnt exactly a review, its more like a warning. theres a bar just off of 41-a behing tropicana call the twilight lounge. becarefull, they let minors in and serve then liquor. i know this first hand. please be carefull if you go there, i would hate to see some one go to jail of take one of those girls home not knowing she was a run a way minor.

The Bar Story
The Bar Story This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having that natural human curiosity about the grotesque, watch as this man plummets to certain death. However, just as he is about to hit the ground, he rights himself, pulls his feet underneath himself, and lands gracefully. He then turns and comes back into the building. Naturally, the two men are amazed. The guy comes back into the bar, orders a few drinks, then repeats the process. The two men at the window seat are astounded! When the guy returns and repeats the procedure AGAIN, the two men stop him before he jumps and ask him how on earth he does that. He replies "It's simple, really. There's an air vent down by the ground, and if you catch the updraft, you can right yourself and land on the ground with no pr

Bar Slut...not Surprised
What type of partier are you? Your Result: Bar Slut You like to keep them drinks flowing till you can't remember much - not that you would want to. Along with your judgement, your inhibitions go 'bye bye' and you end up making out with, and sometimes taking home, random people who sound 'good at the time'. In your drunken haze, you and all your freinds are the sexiest, most swingin, and hottest things on the planet. You've lost many items of clothing in random places.Bar Social Butterfly Hardcore drunk The Lurker The rock-star party animal The Socialite The designated driver

The Bar Scene
She is the one sitting at the edge of the bar sipping on her drink... coyly nibbling on the swizzle stick as she glances over to where you are standing.. She bats her lashes at you a few times and runs her tongue over her soft, full lips, pressing them firmly together. From the wink she gives you, you see this as your chance and start walking towards her... She looks away and starts running her hands up and down her short little dress, making sure she looks perfect for you... C rossing her long, smooth legs, she looks back up to see you standing just inches away from her, offering to buy her a new drink... Instead she stands her statuesque 5'9" curvaceous body up and then takes you by the hands she leads you ever so slowly to the dance floor.... S he wraps her arms around your neck and presses her body tight against your own muscle toned body, letting her long flowing auburn tresses caress her bare shoulders... She looks up at you and winks... She has you hooked without eve

Bars
Well I got dragged to the bar to hang out tonight. I ended up having a lot of fun. It was the typical neighborhood bar. Everyone knew everyone. No one argued. And a good time was had by all. I saw people I havn't seen in 10 years! Of course it was the standard friday night kareoke night, so by midnight my ears were bleeding.... No I am not picking on anyone, and I do it too. It's just funny being the only sober person laughing at everyone trying to sing songs they really don't know the words to. This was a better end to a really messed up day. At least I can go to bed with a smile!!!!

Barstool Enticer
I want to be Inside you Just to experience The feeling I am fearless As to what side effects May occur Be it the earth Exploding Or feeling it Slow down I know it could change Everything We could See differently If I was allowed To go down Who knows how life Would be I wish I possessed The knowledge To completely Explain You will soon Understand Everything It is in the pulse At the end Of my vein

Bar Shots
Bar Shots by NikkiDawn © Beth needed to get out & take the edge off her anger. She had been working on a big project at work & really busting her ass to make it a success. Long hours seemed worth it … until today. Not only did her boss and his lackey take credit for the success of the project, her boss publicly belittled Beth's contribution. Jackass! All the way home Beth had stewed about it & fantasized about exacting revenge. She continued to remain fixated on the problem through dinner & into her favorite TV program. The program ran from 8pm – 9pm, and when it was half way finished without Beth hearing a word, she realized it wasn't a good idea for her to remain at home alone. The bar was within a block of her apartment. Not a dive, but not one of those places pumping out the music that you could feel through the pavement either. Beth had been here before with friends – it was casual and laid back, just what she needed at the moment. Walking in Beth noticed that the pl

The Bar Scene
The Bar Scene by phunmaninphx© Bar Scene It was crowded at the bar when we got there. Martini's was a popular watering hole with the up and coming power players and the everyday hacks working in Denver's downtown office buildings. So by Friday afternoon, Happy Hour wasn't just a diversion, it was an obsession, and everyone who wanted to be someone was mixing and mingling in the crowds of the upscale bars tucked between some of the city's most venerable cathedrals of finance and politics. Lana looked at me and shrugged. "Just have to stand for a bit" she said. Suits me I thought to myself, mentally running my mind's eye from her sexy ankle to the hemline of the micro-skirt that so barely covered her perfectly curved ass. The hint of a smile twitched her lips – I think she knew what was going through my mind. She'd already caught me staring at her perfect legs while she was sitting in the chair in front of my desk not more than a half hour before. When I'd looked up

The Bar Stool
The Bar Stool by vetteman © Susan had played along with his sexual temptation all evening. He sat at his table across from her. She sat, slightly elevated, on her barstool. He had admired her long shapely legs and how they disappeared under the short hemline of her pleated skirt. He had paid attention to her every move, how she crossed, and uncrossed her legs every time she noticed his line of sight. She knew that when she would lean back and place her elbows onto the bar that there was scant little to leave to his imagination. He was getting horny looking at the soft underside of her exposed thighs and fantasized about parting them and sucking on the tender skin next to her pussy. Jack had reached down to push his swelling cock into a more comfortable position when he reflexively glanced up to see if she might have caught him, and to his slight discomfort his eyes met hers. She boldly held his gaze for a little longer than one would associate with momentary curiosity. He an

Bars
These bars, they hold me back keeping me from my freedom quieting my voice, so this bird cannot sing. These bars, keep my mind caged, my heart guarded my soul not free to fly... locked away from the world outside, from my higher guide Unable to feel the sun on my face, the wind in my hair behind these bars, that lock me inside These bars are only in my mind.

Bar Special
A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks, 'Bartender, got any specials today?' Bartender answers, 'Yes, as a matter of fact we have a new drink, invented by a gynecologist patron of ours. It's a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka.' The guy asks, 'Good grief, what do you call that?' The bartender replied, 'It's a 'Pabst Smir''

Bar Stool Economics
Bar Stool Economics Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this: The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay $1. The sixth would pay $3. The seventh would pay $7. The eighth would pay $12. The ninth would pay $18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59. So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. 'Since you are all such good customers, he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20. Drinks for the ten now cost just $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers?How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyo

Bars
I have issues going to bars. Do you know that even here on an online bar I find myself relunctant to just jump out and say hello on someone's personal area. I need some serious social skills help. Normally I just sit back and watch the flow around me. I speak when spoken to and only initiate when I think I have something someone wants to hear. Yet how can you tell when you are in a bar? I think that I am going to have to learn to open up otherwise I will only talk to people on here and I definitely would like a life outside of the cyber world. Feel free to catch me on here and talk. I do enjoy it alot. I am willing to learn anything and love to look things up. So if you talk about an interest that I don't know anything of, I will look it up so that I am informed.

Bars & Clubs
My favorite bar is Ridge Runners.Their always was a good band playing & always good friends to party with.We went there for about a year,then business started getting bad & they closed it down.I really do miss the place.It was a home away for home...

Bar Stool Economics
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this: The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay $1. The sixth would pay $3. The seventh would pay $7. The eighth would pay $12. The ninth would pay $18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59. The ten men drank in the bar every day and Seemed quite happy with the arrangement, Until one day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers, he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20. Drinks for the ten now cost just $80." The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?' They realized that $20 divided

Bars
had TWO parties to go to tonight.. 1 was great.. the other... umm... i kinda hid in the corner until i was there for a while so i could leave LOL my throat is killing me from the drinks, yelling over loud music, and all the smoke... it hurts to yawn and swallow I need a frozen drinkie

Bars Shanghai Gay Ladyboy
Join the World's Largest SEX and SWINGER Personals Community. Join for FREE. pictures tagged thai gay girls or ladyboy (1). 1. thai gay girls or ladyboy. Bangkok Thai Bar Girls Go Go Sexy. 1. Photo of inf16 inf16. Random Links: ... A gay Thai guys and ladyboy volleyball team plays here each evening about 4:30 pm. ... EDDY