Bubbles's blog: "Me"

Is it too much to ask to actually meet someone who wants to be there and wants to put an effort into a relationship with me? I give and I give and I give and I feel so damned empty it's pathetic. Should I be more selfish? Demanding? I'm so lost.

Fuck money and material possessions. I want to feel emotions coming from someone who thinks I'm special to them. I'm a very emotional needy person. If I put a little extra effort into how I look, I want to know it's appreciated, or I stop trying. I want to be a part of someone's life, if he would just let me. Oh man.. I'm a romantic. Nothing good ever comes from it.

I don't like the way I look. I'm not pretty. I'm not in any good physical shape. I'm not attractive. No, I'm not fishing for compliments. I really feel this way. I give what I can, my mind, my personality, my body if it ever gets to that point. If that's not enough, what is?

I've always heard "I want a girl just like her" "If they ever perfect cloing, I want 5 of her" or something long those lines said to they guy I date, whenever I am dating a guy. The guy I date smiles a big smile and gives me a hug, only to break off the relationship at a later time. If guys wants someone exactly like me, do they only want it for a short time? I don't understand.

You can say whatever you want, except "I know how you feel" or other cliches and an emoticon. Really? If you can't say anything better than a cliche, please refrain from saying anything at all. You'll just anger me more. Anger will turn to sorrow. Sorrow will add to the already overflowing emotions I'm going through. Do me a favor, don't add to it.

Those of you who know me, really know me, know I don't open up like this much, especially in a public setting. It's rare. I know of 1 person on here I talk to about everything in my life. And I'm so happy to have him in my life, because he keeps me sane. Well, most times he does anyway.