Fubar Blog Posts 2

The Drums
Come my brothers and sisters, come all the children of our land, come and sit by the village fire as the night closes around us. Watch the flames push the smoke upward toward Grandfather Sky. Our hope is deep as we send these, the most silent of prayers to ride the smoke to the Great Spirit. The drums beat softly…… Sit quietly all my people and hear the sound, hear the crackling of the fire, the sound of family and friends, sharing their happiness. The warmth we feel comes from this sharing of love not the fire. Look closely into each other’s eyes. What do we see?What is it, that is reflected back to us? We see ourselves in one another and all that which has made us who you are. The drums beat faster……. Close your eyes my family, and listen to the wind as it stirs the flames higher. Listen to the songs of our ancestors. They offer so much, all we need do is open your hearts to their words. Only when we listen andlearn from their wisdom can we grow as a people.

The Drummer
A young drummer went out quite alone one evening into the country, and came to a lake on the shore of which he perceived lying there three pieces of white linen. What fine linen, said he, and put one piece in his pocket. He returned home, thought no more of what he had found, and went to bed. Just as he was going to sleep, it seemed to him as if someone was calling his name. He listened, and was aware of a soft voice which cried to him, drummer, drummer, wake up. As it was a dark night he could see no one, but it appeared to him that a figure was hovering about his bed. What do you want, he asked. Give me back my shift, answered the voice, that you took away from me last evening by the lake. You shall have it back again, said the drummer, if you will tell me who you are. Ah, replied the voice, I am the daughter of a mighty king. But I have fallen into the power of a witch, and am shut up on the glass-mountain. I have to bathe in the lake every day with my two sisters, but I cannot f

Drumming
I have been drumming for a number of years and have taken on the task of making drumming accessible to others. Here I hope to share what it means to me to live with the spirit of the drum. In the last few years, the popularity of drumming has spread, so that one can hardly go to any festival or gathering without hearing the beat of the drums. Drum circles have sprung up across the country, in cities and small towns, meeting monthly or weekly, for men, women, or open to all. People from all walks of life have embraced the drum as a sacred part of their lives. Why do I drum? First of all drumming is fun. Fun is an essential part of the human experience. In play we connect to the child within, and gain access to openness, wonder, and an innocence that allows us to see the world in a different light. Drumming has some very powerful physiological effects. Sustained drumming increases the heart rate and blood flow, resulting in the "high" common to any aerobic exercise. There are al

Drums
Thank you, [$DEITY] for whomever you saw fit to instill with the need to create drums. FUN 20 minutes banging away on a kit are as good as a months worth of therapy, and that's a fact. and I get a partial workout too, without the bruises that Sensei leaves me as reminders to practice... MORE FUN Animal was right..."Beat Drums!!!" such a simple truth... I do love em, yes I do... *now let's see if I can hit my piano with something heavy...* :D

Drummers Clash With New Harlem Residents
Drummers clash with new Harlem residents By VERENA DOBNIK, Associated Press Writer Sat Aug 11, 6:19 PM ET NEW YORK - On Saturday nights in summer, hundreds of fingers pound out mesmerizing rhythms on African drums — a ritual repeated for decades in Harlem's Marcus Garvey Park. This year, the drums have a counterpoint: the complaints of "new Harlemites." "African drumming is wonderful for the first four hours, but after that, it's pure, unadulterated noise. We couldn't see straight anymore," says Beth Ross, who lives in a luxury apartment building near the park. "It was like a huge boom box in the living room, the bedroom, the kitchen. You had no way to escape except to leave the apartment." Ross's complaint is just the latest sign of conflict in Harlem, where upscale apartments and hotels are rapidly changing the face of a neighborhood long considered the heart of black culture in America. Central Harlem around Marcus Garvey Park is especially attractive, with its opu

Drumbeats Of The Bluffs
We set our camp up on the bluff, and you built a fire in one of the pits there. We both looked forward to this night together in this special place. So many spirits rest here always that we knew the energy would flood us that night. After we had cooked over the fire, and cleaned up, we went to the falls to shower under the spray. You strip off so easily, being the nudist that you are. I hesitate for a moment, but then join you on the mossy rocks below the waterfall. It is hot outside, so the coldness of the water is comfortable as I slide up next to you in the spray. I take the bar of soap we've brought and begin to lather your chest for you, working my hands down the length of your body in slow sensual strokes. I look into your eyes as I soap you, and I want to kiss you so badly that it hurts. If I kiss you, however, the soaping will end. I am not ready for that yet. I move the soapy lather to your now swelling cock and feel you throbbing in my hand as I stroke you firmly,

Drumin4sum.. Moron
drumin4sum: WELL,YOUDEAL WITH YOUR FATNESS,AND LET ME DEAL WITH MY ISSUES ->drumin4sum: go fuck your uncle up the ass drumin4sum: SOMEONE NEEDS TO ROLL YOU INTO JENNT CRAIG ->drumin4sum: I may be fat, but at least I can diet.. what's the cure for your stupid? drumin4sum: WOW,YOU CAN'T LOSE ANY WEIGHT CAN YOU? ->drumin4sum: someone had to get her out and sit her on the corner drumin4sum: OH YEAH,IT NEEDS TO DROP YOUR FAT ASS OFF AT JENNY CRIAG drumin4sum: DID YOU MOM TEL ABOUT DIET FOOD ->drumin4sum: and you do have issues ->drumin4sum: and you'll just have to deal with your issues yourself ->drumin4sum: and you do have issues ->drumin4sum: and you'll just have to deal with your issues yourself drumin4sum: STREET drumin4sum: GET THE FUCK OUT HERE,THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE IS DOWN THE SEET ->drumin4sum: I'll eat what I want when I want ->drumin4sum: not by the dickless eunich you are drumin4sum: YOU NEED TO TRY TO DIET ->drumin4sum: wait, maybe you should l

Drums
cold concreate floor bright white lights the drums echo throughout no one in the building no one to complain the drums echo throughout rageful anger sorrowful sadness the drums echo throughout heart pounding in my chest vision dwindles down the drums echo throughout head pounds all i hear is the beat the drums echo throughout i close my eyes i'm too weak to carry on but i continue to drum for the drums echo throughout

8000 Drums
PLEASE DO YOUR PART AND FORWARD TO ALL OF OUR RED NATIONS...SUPPORT ALL OF OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS...LET US STAND TOGETHER AS ONE PROUD UNITED NATION! Passing along the word to bring healing for our Mother Earth This special event will take place 12 noon EST. It is also a full moon that day and spring equinox is March 20, 2008 (eg. if you are on the west coast, your time will be 10am this will be your time to be aligned with us here in EST etc. etc.) 8,000 DRUMS on March 21 at noon HELLO, GREETINGS, 8,000 DRUMS will take place on March 21, 2008 at 12:00 noon . All you need to do is play a drum either alone, or with a group or have the whole Tribe participate. The purpose is to fulfill the OTOMI PROPHECY. The Otomi's are Mayan Olmec and Toltec descendants. The drums will be played so that the Creator will hear us and grant our wishes as we pray for help in the Healing Process of our Mother Earth. People are destroying Her and our Mother Earth needs our prayers.

Drum Solo Compulation Cd
Federation of Drums llc presents Drum Solo Compilation CD We are now offering these compilation CDs to help get fellow drummers and percussionists recognized. Requirements are as follows: A decent audio recording of a drum solo between 1 to 3 minutes in duration. File format of the audio recording must be in an MP3 format. A $5.00, non-refundable, registration fee, payable in USD. Full contact information including name of band and website URL, (if applicable). One submission per CD. This is a continuous collection starting with Volume I. There will be 15 drummers per CD. These CDs are available for $15.00, payable in USD. Interested parties should contact by email at admin@drumfed.org

The Drum
THE DRUM People say you can't have a Powwow without a drum, for it carries the heartbeat of the Indian nation. It is also felt to carry the heartbeat of Mother Earth, and thus calls the spirits and nations together. The Powwow drum is a large base covered with hide (buffalo, deer, or cow). Forming a circle, eight or more men strike the drum in unison with covered mallets. The men then blend their voices with the beating of the Drum to create the song. The songs are often in the Indian language of the drum members. It is the responsibility of the drum members and especially the lead singer to be able to sing and play whatever kind of song is requested by the master of ceremonies or the arena director for any given event (i.e. flag raising, honoring ceremony, different kinds of dances). It is said that the drum was brought to the Indian people by a woman, and therefore there is a woman spirit that resides inside the drum. Approriately, it is to be treated with respect and care, an

Drum Beats
DRUM BEATS Awake! Hear the beat of native drums Hear them match the beat of your heart Feel them catch you by the throat, pulling Pulling ‘til you give in and lose yourself To the Dreams of Dionysus Listen! Hear the waning beat of your heart Hear it match the beat of a funeral dirge Feel the constricting in your throat, tighter Tighter ‘til you give in and lose yourself To the sweet sleep of Death Cry out! Hear the impassioned beat of your heart Hear it’s song swell with the strains of a thousand strings Feel your soul sing endless songs, crying Crying ‘til you give in and lose yourself To the fool’s game of Love Actung! Hear the martial beat of the war drums Hear your heart march with the cadence of their beat Feel your blood rage with the passion of war fury, boiling Boiling ‘til you give in and lose yourself To the blood lust of Ares

Drummer, Bassist, Maybe A Singer And Guitarist?
lookin for a drummer and bassist for sure right now.... gonna need a singer if someone comes around good enough...possibly another guitarist since i cant really do backing vox and play at the same time well haha. influences.... snot, cky, amon amarth, black sabbath, pantera, slayer, chimaira etc etc... ive got quite a bit of original stuff written in midi as well as some samples on my phone that i did while bored. colera667@yahoo.com or drop me a line on here... hell leave a comment even. http://www.putfile.com/Colera667 i think has some midi files on there... plus 2 trax of me actualy playing from a while back.

Drum Corps
If you want to hear fiery horns, banging drums and all-around good stuff. Check this out!! This the Madison Scouts Drum and Bugle Corps playing "Malaguena" from there Gold Medal year in 1988. Enjoy!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f67sHIfu9Hs

Drum Problem
There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He would not be quiet, no matter what anyone else said or did. Various attempts were made to do something about the child. One person told the boy that he would, if he continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums. This reasoning was too advanced for the child, who was neither a scientist nor a scholar. A second person told him that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be carried out only on special occasions. The third person offered the neighbors plugs for their ears; a fourth gave the boy a book; a fifth gave the neighbors books that described a method of controlling anger through biofeedback; a sixth person gave the boy meditation exercises to make him placid and docile. None of these attempts worked. Eventually, a wise person came along with an effective motivation. He looked at the situation, handed the child a hammer and chisel, and asked, "I wonder what's inside the drum?"

Drums Ain't For Bums...
Hey, you know how it is. If you goof around at the back on the drums you gat the dumb ass gorilla label. Well, not for me babe. I'm freakin' rule on the drums. My stuff: pearl reference pearl masters pearl vision

Drum Roll Please ...and The Winners Are
After long deliberation ... lots of fighting ...agreeing to never speak to each other again ... and me spending 2 hours going through a dictionary to figure out all the things Passions called me we have come to a decision First place....Pie Taster as much as we hated to give him this there really was no way out of it the bastard put together a pretty impressive masterpiece and you lazy morons did not challenge him much Second place ... Odie though Passions and I both suggest he get the camera out and make us a sexy salute because dude sucked heavily in the bribe area Third place... Blooky same suggestion to you Special mention goes too Boo Suga Jasmine they can fight it out for the left over scraps after the top three have made their choice I suggest a wet T shirt contest

Drummer Dies On Stage
If you like performing art the ultimate was performed by the dance-punk band You Say Party! We Say Die! While playing at the Vancouver Rickshaw Theatre drummer Devon Clifford had a massive brain hemorrhage and died on stage. For more http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2010/04/21/drummer-canadian-rock-band-dies-onstage-brain-hemmorhage/?test=latestnews BlastFM is a never ending splash of music sound just for you. www.live365.com/stations/blastcasterfm

Drumming.. How I Miss You!
Seriously, I mis drumming as often as I did years ago... Living in an apartment has me not owning a kit anymore, and always going to Guitar Center and playing there whenever I get a day off work! (Which is once a week!!!) Grrr, stresses me out 'cos music keeps me calm. Electronic kit, I've thought about it, but they're not the same as an acoustic... You cannot get the same sound, feel, and thunder from an elctronic kit though... I LOOOVE feeling it run through my body, though my blood. If any of you are musicians and live for music, you know what I mean! Arrrrrrggg, I'm done ranting! Hahaha.. I just need drums to make me happy happy happy as hell!

Drum Machine Joy.....
Drum machine joy- Drum machine joy Soon the Goodness King will hear your heart From within the castle to his warm hearth Granting hope and Wisdom to your soul The evil spell of sadness has been broken In you heart, there's a world of sadness I love you with all heart In your heart with my words I promise to love you with all heart, and Drum machine joy Drum machine joy drum machine joy Soon the Goodness King will hear your heart From the Northern Kingdom comes a faint sound Growing stronger here before your heart The chorus of the King has come to heal your heart In your heart there's a world of sadness I love you with all heart In your heart with my words I promise to love you with all heart And Drum machine joy drum machine joy [Interlude:] I'm here my love Give me your fear and I will hold your head up Keep your promise to the end In your heart there's a world of sadness I love you with all heart In your heart with my words I promise to love

Drunk Biker
One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy biker bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw one of the bikers stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, & try his keys on five different bikes before he found his. Then, sat on the bike fumbling around several minutes, looking as if he might pass out right there. Everyone left the bar and rode off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the biker, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The biker replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy."

Drunk Joke
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ... and she's always sound asleep."

Drunk Joke
BEGGING FOR A PUSH A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance!," says the husband, "it's 3 o'clock in the morning!!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked the wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "So, did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it's 3 o'clock in the morning, and it's pouring down rain!" "Well mister, you certainly have a short memory'" says his wife. "Don't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped push us off the highway?" "I think you should help him, and you should also be ashamed of yourself." The husband reluctantly does as he is told, he gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out in the dark, "Hello! Are you still there?" "Yes" comes back the answer.

~drunk~
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the night at a business function. He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping - Love you!" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son, what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 am , drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into t

Drunken Chicken
In this distinctive dish from Yè Shanghai, the chicken is cooked in simmering water, then brined in salt water and marinated briefly in sweetened rice wine. 1 3 1/2-pound whole chicken 1 5-inch-long piece fresh ginger, sliced 7 green onions, thinly sliced 1 teaspoon plus 5 tablespoons salt 4 cups water 1 750-ml bottle of Chinese rice wine* or dry Sherry 3/4 cup sugar Bring large pot of water to boil. Add chicken, 6 ginger slices, 4 sliced green onions, and 1 teaspoon salt. Reduce heat; simmer until chicken is cooked through, about 45 minutes. Drain chicken; place in bowl of ice water to cool. Mix 4 cups water, 2 sliced green onions, 5 tablespoons salt, and remaining ginger slices in large bowl until salt dissolves. Drain chicken; add to saltwater brine. Let stand 30 minutes at room temperature. Meanwhile, mix rice wine and sugar in medium bowl. Stir to dissolve sugar. Season marinade to taste with salt. Drain chicken. Cut into 8 pieces. Transfer chicken to shallow glass

Drunk Last Night
ok wow lolz i'm still shitfaced...was talking to some hot 30 yr old woman last night at the bar lol and so she starts seriously hitting on me..and i'm drunk as hell...I drank 1.75 liters of whiskey then 3 of the biggest Screamin blues i've ever seen 4 gigantic long island teas so yeah lolz....well she and I danced some, and later I asked her how old she thought I was, she said about 25 lmao...she wanted to take me home with her!! hahahahahahaha until I told her I was 19 lmao, she was about to leave, lolz before I said I was 19 she wanted to take me...but she wanted one more dance, so I gave it to her. then after she left I drank more....and was yelling at everyone screaming ANYONE WANNA FUCKING FIGHT!??!!?!?!? lolz and ANYONE WANNA TRY AND KICK MY FUCKING ASS?? lmfao i'm prolly going back again tonight...but right now i'm still trashed and i'm takin a nap, i'm going to the firing range today to work on my accuracy lolz as of right now i'm a fucking surgeon with my 40 caliber S&W lolz

Drunk Dialing! Lmao!
Drunk Dialing 1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. 2.It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen. 3.If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. "Mom I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you" 4.Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something. 5.Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come. 6.Drunk texting is alright... If you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober. 7.It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night. 8.You can also call this same ex a

Drunk Dialing
Drunk Dialing 1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. 2.It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen. 3.If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. "Mom I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you" 4.Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something. 5.Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come. 6.Drunk texting is alright... If you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober. 7.It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night. 8.You can also call this same ex a

3 Drunk Women
Three women have a very late night drinking. They leave in the early morning hours and go home their separate ways. The next day, they all meet and compare notes about who was drunkest the night before. The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks for 10 minutes." The second says, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped it around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!" The third says, "No, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with my husband, knocked over a candle, and burned the whole house down!" She begins to cry. The room falls silent. Finally, the first girl speaks up: "I don't think you understand...Chunks is my dog!"

Drunken Poetry 101
Wandering aimlessly on a soulless planet. Stop. Rewind your life, still frame, and scan it. The aching heart of a mindless intellectual. Seemingly drifting, entangled, death eventual. Melodic disertations, sadistic viscerations. Infantile mind pondering ancient visitations. She came to me and laid blame to me. The same to me, but insane to me. She loves me. She loves me not. It ties my heart into a knot. Spiralling downward; infinite sorrow. A life, a love; one night to borrow. Do you see what I see? Ubiquidous meloncholy! Dangling pendulums...What a fool's foly. Watching you leave me. Not quite believing. I miss your breathing. Next to me, seething. But the numbers keep on circleling me. Reposition the situation and cling to thee. She loves me. She loves me not. It ties my heart into a knot. Down the walk, I see the life of two that's new. I ask "How are you?" Yeah, "How are you? I used to love you, but now I despise you. Hold me, fold me. Origam

Drunken Question Of The Day...
ok, some one explain the whole pic in the mirror thing, have we not friends to help? may be a timer? lol i just think they are the most unflattering pics ever, but i love 'em all the same... hehheheh

A Drunk
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and as he is stumbling back and forth, a cop on the beat sees him and approaches. "Can I help you sir?", the officer asks politely. "Yessh! Ossifer, sssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies. The cop asks, "Well, where was your car the last time you saw it?" "It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies. About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's "manhood" is hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man, "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out......... "Oh my God ----- my girlfriend's gone, too!

Drunky Mcdrunk
ok so i had a slow show tonight, i mean slow, i had a total of 20 different people sing, slow, so im drunk, (for those who dont know i own a karaoke/ Dj company) a few friends and i were drinkin together i end the night with a 60 dollar bar tab, thank god 20 of that is comp weeeeeeeeeeee but heres what happened in a nut shell, the chick i like shows up with her boyfriend, so i drink... alot! but im bein a happy drunk and thus weeeeeeeeee LoL thats fun LoL and then my girl jessie shows up, this gil ive known for a long while, well she brings her roomate with her who last year seriously fucked me over, remember me telling you about being stood up 3 weeks in a row??? well this was the chick who stood me up the first week... jessie bugs me to play nice with her rommmate who fucked me over so i say hi. later jessie tells me what shoud we put rommie in for to sing, so we do, rommie asks hey muse what did jessie put me in for? im drunk girl i like is kissing boyfriend so i make deal (also tol

Drunker Than Me
Well, lately I been noticin' a gradual escalation, In your inability to handle your libation. Go zero to sixty, When you get on the whiskey. Well, used to be a glass of wine an' you'd be fine all evenin'. Now I'm the one who says: "We're done," an' tells us when we're leavin'. Well, I miss the way that it was, Can't even catch the good bars. 'Cause I keep worryin' about who's drivin' home, Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone. Who'll pay the bill, call a cab. I don't mean to make you mad, But I don't want that responsibility, An' I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me. Well, I never thought it'd come to this when I said: "Have another." 'Cause, baby, you turned into me, an' I became my mother. Well, here's what I'm thinkin': You're interferin' with my drinkin'. I think I have an answer to our present situation, 'Cause you an' me out on the town's got built in limitations. So let me make this clear: Hey I'm the one who's drinkin' here.

The Drunk, The Bed Sheet & The Security Guard
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging! his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard (barely containing his laughter) who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?" The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the shi

Drunk Driver Joke
Drunk Driver joke A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. ''I can't do that, officer.'' ''Why not?'' ''Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.'' ''Okay, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station.'' ''Can't do that either, officer.'' ''Why not?'' ''Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.'' ''Alright, we could get a blood sample.'' ''Can't do that either, officer.'' ''Why not?'' ''Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die.'' ''Fine then, just walk this white line.'' ''Can't do that either, officer.'' ''Why not?'' ''Because I'm drunk.''

Drunk Dialing Rules
Drunk Dialing Rules 1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. 2.It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen. 3.If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. "Mom I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you" 4.Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something. 5.Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come. 6.Drunk texting is alright... If you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober. 7.It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night. 8.You can also call this same ex and

Drunk Asses
thought ya'll could use a laugh. just how drunk do you have to be to do this? some idiot drove his van into the side of a house a block over from me. about 30 mins ago. this action involved jumping the curb and a good size flower bed surrounded by fence posts. some of the people in this town are flaming idiots, sometimes myself included. luckily the house is vacant so noone was hurt but still, how drunk do you have to be to drive a passenger van into a house?

Drunk Drivers!
This is Jacqueline Saburido on September 19, 1999. This is her and her Father, 1998. This is her on Vacation in Venezuela. Birthday party as a child. At a party with friends. The car in which Jacqueline traveled. She was hit by another car that was driven by a 17-year old male student on his way home after drinking a couple of hard packs with his friends. This was in December 1999. After the accident Jacqueline has needed over 40 operations. Jacqueline was caught in theburning car and her body was heavily burnt for approx. 45 SECONDS! With her Father, 2000. Getting treatment. Three months after accident. Without a left eyelid Jacquie needs eye drops to keep her vision. Now 20 year old, he cannot forgive himself for driving drunk on that night three years ago. He's aware of devastating Jacqueline Sab

Drunken Wife
Drunken Wife by marilyn69 © I’m sitting in a wine bar in the West End of London, just a short distance from my hotel. My husband, thankfully, is over 150 miles north, looking after our two children. I’ve finished my meetings earlier than anticipated, so I could have caught a train back home today, but today I fancy a little fun! I am sipping my third G and T already and it’s only four in the afternoon! But, what the hell? Sometimes you just have to let your hair down and unwind! Looking around the bar, I can see several men, some on their own, like me, others in pairs or groups. They’re generally all businessmen, possibly just passing through London too. I have thought about doing this for some time but I’ve always bottled it at the last minute. Maybe today will be the same? Sitting on the next table are two Japanese guys, smartly dressed, but not my type! Next to them there is a single man, not bad looking at all, but reading The Guardian. Could never go for a guy who reads

Drunkn Me
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 7.50am i just made it back home.. woho i found muh way back hoem.. LOL im somdrunk ther were one guy kissign me all th time at the party :P hahahahahha so fucking charmig. i made ppl do a "hey canada" vid for youtube for em. hahahahahahah well lots of vid for youtube tomorrow. w00t. dont mine kmuh drunken look luv ya all muaaaah

Drunken Bus Driver Asks To Continue School Run
Drunken bus driver asks to continue school run Wed Nov 22, 9:21 AM ET A bus driver who was 13 times over the legal alcohol limit while driving a bus load of schoolchildren had a simple request for police who arrested him for drunken driving, an Australian court heard Wednesday. "Can I finish my run, at least to drop these kids off?" A country court in New South Wales state was told 50-year old David Stack had a blood alcohol level of 0.26, which is 13 times the legal limit for a bus driver, when he was stopped on November 7. The court was told two adult passengers had alerted police after Stack's bus was speeding and swerving across the road. Stack, who pleaded guilty to the drunk driving charge, said he regretted his actions and had apologized to the children on the bus at the time. Now unemployed, Stack will be sentenced in February.

Drunk At Work
There is this guy that i work with who comes to work drunk and stinks of old booze and is the lazist S.O.B that i work with and for some reason non of my bosses wanna do anything about and i really wouldnt care but i gotta pick up his slack and do both his job and mine which sucks and it just pisses me off if you wanna drink do it at home on your own damn time dont come to work and make a crappy job even crappier then it needs to be but i just had to get that before i blew up at work and get fired

Drunk 1
Hey everyoene ... just saying hi tonight .. and peace out ... and stuff ... just hanging out and trying to make friends ... but making friend depends on the cards you get ....but that is the life I live ... and my day is nothing... I have nothing to show .. just another day at work ... and another day at the tables. .. and that is a day in my life .... nothing works .. and everythings sucks .... it shouldn't be this way .. but I suppose it must .. becouse if it isn't hard work ... it just doesn't count so .. for all you out there ... type later ... and ... type on....

Drunk Survey
Drunk Survey 1. Have you ever been drunk? Good. Get the really stupid question out of the way..... 2. How old were you the first time you got drunk? 16, in France 3. Have you ever gotten/given digits while intoxicated? No. 4. Have you ever 'drunk dialed'? Yeah, and usually didn't turn out THAT bad. Drunk emails on the other hand.... 5. Have you ever been drunk in front of family members? Sure. 6. Have you ever had to cover up the fact that you were drunk? Had to? I don't think so. 7. Have you ever been arrested for any alcohol-related crime? Well, not arrested, but given a citation for the Muth's open party ordinance. 8. Have you ever hooked-up with someone while drunk? sure. 9. Ever forgot their name? Couldn't forget it if I never knew it in the first place. 10. When was the last time you were drunk? been a little while. Probably after the UM-OSU game. 11. Have you ever been on a drunken binge? You call it drunken binge, I call it colleg

Drunken Lady
A man and his wife were dining at a table in a plush restaurant. The husband kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her gin as she sat alone at a nearby table. The wife asked, "Do you know her ?" "Yes," sighed the husband, "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." "My God!" said the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long ?"

Drunk Blog
I'm drunk...but its amazing that I can still type pretty good. That's just how much I rock. Not really though, if I rocked I wouldn't be single. I've been single from a REAL relationship for a little over 2 years now. That sucks...I suck and that's sad. BOO ME! Nah, I think I'm a good person and a good mother...especially since I'm doing the mommy thing BY MYSELF AND going to school full time. But that's okay, last day of classes is Thursday then I get a month off before the spring semester starts. When that starts I'll be going to school 4 days a week instead of just 2. That sucks. Oh well...time for another beer! Thanks for reading my drunk ramblings!

Drunk
Indubitably Innovative Preliminary Proliferation Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Specificity British Constitution Loquacious Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. Nope, no more booze for me. Sorry, but you're not really my type. Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight. Oh, I just couldn't....No one wants to hear me sing

Drunk Dialing Rules
Drunk Dialing Rules..... 1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. 2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen. 3. If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Example: "Mom I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you" 4. Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something. 5. Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come. 6. Drunk texting is alright... If you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober. 7. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your ex's and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night. 8. You c

Drunken Jesters Of The Night
The drunken jesters of the night once again filled thier empty lives with a drug induced world of wonder, that soon will fade and they will relize, it was just a night, a night as any other.

Drunk Idiots Christmas
The Drunk Idiots Christmas special is Friday Dec. 22nd @ 9:30pm EST featuring all three of the original Drunk Idiots. We'll be playing such classics as "Twas the Night Before Kwanzaa", "Holy Shit it's Christmas" and "I Got a Boner for Christmas." Tune in, chat and get drunk. www.thedrunkidiots.com

Drunk Ramblings[ Angry.]
DO I GET PLAYED SO EASY??!?!?!?!!?!?! im not a whore. or ugly. so why do they lead me on.......only to... hruruijiujfrijkfrhsdjsadjweoruhfklds FUCK! im so ........fustrated....confused.....hurt. i hate this. THIS is why i trust NO one.

Drunken Love
The scent of jasmine still clings tight to your shirt. I know that you weren't at work. The red around your eyes, Tells stories... Lies. You stumble forth to the couch. The beer scent spewing from your mouth. I could look away in dismay. Or love you for you come home each day. Why do you look to the whore with adoration? Why is it we share no communications? I stand up and guide you to our room. Letting the us become in the darkness; consumed. Four little words I just want to say. Do you love me? But Just whisper your name. "I love you my dear" Is all you shall hear. I cannot give in to my angry thoughts. Though most women would say I ought. I cover you with the blanket and watch you close your eyes. I touch your hair and quietly say good-night. Walking from the room, I know we are doomed. The alcohol will keep you away. And I will never say. "I want out and I want a divorce." Because Loyalty is what I am for. You will leave soon enough. And I

Drunken Biker
One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy biker bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw one of the bikers stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, & try his keys on five different bikes before he found his. Then, sat on the bike fumbling around several minutes, looking as if he might pass out right there. Everyone left the bar and rode off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the biker, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The biker replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy."

Drunken Butterfly
Smile like a sun, back over time Crazy fr you, pleasure is mine I love you, I love you, I love you, whats your name? I love you, I love you, I love you, whats your name? Youre coming thru, even it up Going too far, try understand I love you, I love you, I love you, whats your name? I love you, I love you, I love you, whats your name? Whisper kiss yr ear, Ill tell you what I fear Whisper the kisses in yr ear, Ill tell you what I fear Come on home, just aint fair Name of rocknroll, where love dies Couldnt find a soul, tell it like it is Deep down inside, drunken butterfly I love you, I love you, I love you, whats your name? I love you, I love you, I love you, whats your name? I love you, I love you, I love you, whats your name? I love you, I love you, I love you, whats your name?

Drunk Welfare Bitch
isn't it wonderful when the money you pay in taxes supports those who dont need it like the drunk bitch that lives below us who doesnt work and makes all the noise in the world but then comes upstairs to complain about us making noise. i can understand if we were being loud but when we are sitting quietly in our office typing away no noise except the slight clicking of keys and this is the sixth time she has banged on our door and every time its the same hollering in a slurred voice how we woke her. im sorry but we were sitting here quietly and didnt hear or make any noise. "her" well im gonna call the cops and the landlord blah blah blah. i dont know if its the apartment next to her but god i wish she would choke on her double chin i pay taxes to help those in need not support your drinking habit what am i supposed to do go to every apartment out of the nine and beg everyone to stay quiet so they can hear you crystal clear vomiting and yelling at your boyfriend. or maybe tell the co

Drunker Than A Skunk.....
yup that's what i am!!!!!!! i went out and drank with my sister and her friend because i'm depressed i just got dumped harshly and denied a promotion i was promised all in a two day span.............kill me or someone please get me laid!!!! lol k it's sleep time luff brandy

Drunken Priest
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door: 1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp. 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook. 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him. 9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked

Drunk By Your Lip Taste
To you, a good day, tenderly nibbled upon the veins of petals. Just because you taste of my hunger and smell of my thirst. Just because I planted you tumescent, seed, hot, within the furrow of breasts and watered you of spasms, of dew. I pruned you on the skin, graft of legs upon buds of hips and vice of lushness of earth inmost and deeply ploughed for orgasm. Arcadia of teeth, tongue and you opening the petals the veins, and I the hunger the smell on the fingers. Sap runs fluent, full of the words that you know and which I drank. As one who nibbles on the day tender within the veins of petals.

A Drunkards Life For Me
Some people might think by reading my first blog that I might be an alcoholic. This is as false a statement any one could make about me. I am in fact a drunkard. I even have the pirate flag and subscription to prove it. You see, I was at a local magazine shop looking for something "different" to read. My ex-girlfriend turned me onto some "conspiracy" theory type magazines that I found fun and entertaining. But I almost dropped my jaw when I saw my ALL TIME FAVORITE magazine. THE MODERN DRUNKARD! I picked up a copy and read it then got online and found the online version. That's when I found out that I could have it sent directly to my house and they even had their own pirate flag. Being somewhat of a pirate myself. I just HAD to buy it. If any one is interested the web address is: www.drunkard.com

Drunkness:)
..[Nicole].. - - - - says: I have hardcore hiccups LOL x0x..(((.l|l..Coÿÿupted..l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..It.All.Seems.So.Unclear..}} says: me too x0x..(((.l|l..Coÿÿupted..l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..It.All.Seems.So.Unclear..}} says: wtf x0x..(((.l|l..Coÿÿupted..l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..It.All.Seems.So.Unclear..}} says: sisterly hiccups ..[Nicole].. - - - - says: haha ..[Nicole].. - - - - says: ur drinkin right> x0x..(((.l|l..Coÿÿupted..l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..It.All.Seems.So.Unclear..}} says: a lil x0x..(((.l|l..Coÿÿupted..l|l.)))..x0x.. ..x0x....{{..It.All.Seems.So.Unclear..}} says: ..[Nicole].. - - - - says: haha sisterly drinking hiccups

Drunk Or Alcohlic?
DRUNK OR ALCOHLIC? The drunk one gets asked this question alot and always answer drunk! Here is a simple test to figure out what you are. 1. Have you ever opened up a bar? 2. Have you ever closed a bar? 3. Have you ever drank in a bar after last call? 4. Have you ever had a beer for breakfast? 5. Have you ever had a minor? 6. Have you ever had a DUI/DWI? 7. Have you ever been charged with open bottle? 8. Do you drive drunk? 9. Have you ever woke up next to someone you didn't know and didn't know happened? 10. Do you go to AA meetings? The drunk one's Answers 1-4 are yes. The longest I've drank in a bar past close is 5:30 AM. 5 is, no but most of my friends have. 6 is no. 7 is yes, but it was my friends and I was driving so I got the ticket. 8 is no I live next to the bar, so I walk. 9 is never, but I wish. 10 is no. Your Answers If you answered yes to at least two of 1-4. You might be a drunk less than that you're a

The Drunk One Version 200.7
The drunk one version 200.7 The drunk one version 200.7 an upgrade for 200.6 is being released this winter. Previews are availale now at your local drinking establishments. Version 200.7 is being released to the entire population where as 200.6 and older where only given to a select few for access. Features of 200.7 200.7 can be used for IMing and is availabe for the bing three platforms AIM, Windows Messenger, and Yahoo. It can even be used on Myspace chat. Emailing is easy with 200.7 there are many addresses to chose from. Great for networking, meeting someone new, finding out useless information, and finding directions. Has alot to offer lightwieght and portable, so it can be taken anywhere. Your local tavern, the movies, the mall, local festivals, and even family gatherings. 200.7 is user friendly anyone no matter how old or young can use it. Yet it is geared for the 18 to 28 age bracket. Parents often approve of 200.7 yet it is fun enough that you won't mind. 2

Drunk Driving Its Your Decision
Picture this Close your eyes and imagine it You're standing by your man You're standing by your girl Picture this Look deep into yourself and picture it Your right by your friend and you don't know what happend Picture this There are sirens all around you and you don't know what's going on Imagine this He/She is dead and you can't do anything Can you see it? Alcohol is in your system Alcohol is on your breath Policemen trying to calm you down Policemen trying to say Trying to tell Trying to let you know what you've done Picture this You just killed the one you loved the most You've just killed the one who loves you back Are you picturing it? Cuze your waking up the next morning in a cold cold cell And the person standing next to you now Is lying in a coffin because of you Drinking and Driving Picture this Dream after dream Nightmares reminding you every night Can you see it? The parent of the boy/girl you've just killed Holding your hand even t

Drunken Friends
Leanne and Chris decided they wanted a beer 'We'll only have one, have no fear!' Hours later we were still in the pub Listening to them say they wanted to go to a club. I told them 'you can't go you've spent all your money' I'm still wondering why they found everything funny. Leanne kept falling over And it was like Chris had a split personality I'm surprised we didn't end up having Some sort of fatality! I decided to go home Putting up with them was to much to bare They strolled to another pub They just didn't seem to care! Hours later they strolled in the door And started asking for food Kept trying to talk to me when I was sleeping Not caring that they were rude. Next time we go out I'll be getting drunk with them Because if either of them annoy me so much again One of them will forfeit their right to live!

Drunk Dials & Text Messages
1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. 2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen. 3.If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. "Mom I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you" 4.Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something. 5. Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come. 6. Drunk texting is alright... If you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober. 7. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night. 8. You can also call this same ex and let them know, th

Drunken Stooper!!!
HELLO EVERYONE THAT READS THIS.. THIS IS MY FIRST BLOG .. EXCUSE ME IF IT IS KINDA JUMBLED. I AM KINDA DRUNK.. FIRST OFF I WOULD LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE ON HERE WHO HAS SHOWN ME AS MUCH LOVE AS THEY HAVE. MAN DO I LOVE CHERRYTAP! I SEE SO MANY POST THESE THINGS BUT NEVER DO ONE MYSELF.. I COULD BE A POET A COMEDIAN OR WHATEVER BUT HALF THE TIME I AM NOT.. I HAVE MY MOMENTS THOUGH.. LIKE HAHA..LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT.. YOU SAY WHAY AND I SAY CHICKEN BUTT.. OKAY THAT IS THE COMEDIAN IN ME...SERIOUSLY THOUGH..EVERYONE ON THIS SITE IS WONDERFUL! :-0~ I WISH I COULD GET TO KNOW EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.. ANYWAY.. BLAH BLAH... HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT MORNING, GOOD AFTERNOON AND A GOOD NIGHT...LOVE YOU ALL...

Drunkenness
Yeah my dad is smashed.... Its really depressing being around him... seeing him stumble all over the place... slurring his speech... talking to the dogs... Thats not even the worst of my day... but id rather not get into that in a blog... Lets jus say its about boys.. yeah boys.. nothin but trouble.. *sigh* i duno... im sick and tired of being depressed. I jus wish that i could get away from it all... Sometimes i really do feel that everything would be better without me here.... Sure i do some good, but its not enough to weight out the bad in my life. A few of you know what im talking about but if you dont, dont be discouraged.. things always have a way of working themselves out... *sigh* this is my life...................

Drunken Clothing Bill
George met up with the guys at a local bar and proceeded to get shitfaced. After about three hours of guzzling liquor, George threw up all over his shirt. "Shit!" he said. "The old lady is going to throw my ass out of the house for getting drunk and puking on my new shirt!" Bill, George's best pal, gave George an idea of how to keep from getting in trouble with the wife. "All you got to do is have a $20 bill in your hand when you walk through the door," Bill said. "Then, when she accuses you of barfing all over yourself, just tell her that some other drunk puked on you and that he gave you 20 bucks to get the shirt cleaned." When George got home, his wife was waiting for him in the living room. "I knew that your drunk ass would spew bile and booze all over that new shirt!" she said. George replied, "Honey, let me explain! This drunken fool at the bar puked on me and gave me 20 bucks to have it cleaned." His wife snatched the money out of his hand and observed that he wa

The Drunken Priest
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door: 1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp. 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook. 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him. 9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked

Drunk Contest
http://cherrytap.com/bulletins.php?b=3739685240 To all the people who drink and have photos please follow above link. Thanks I am holding a contest for drunk pics, if you have one let me know and i will get you in follow the above link for info

Drunk Still
well i went out lastnight to a house party and i got really drunk. I went with my boyfriend and my girlfriend went a house party and i got fucked up big time. i ended up getting into a fight with this guy to. This guy was bothering the girls so i had asked him nicely to stop and he called me a slut and then hit me so i pissed off and i broke his nose and the because we were loud the police came andvarrested this guy and told me that i did the right thing by defending myself. I have a black eye cause of it and it hurts and my man was like wow she is pissed off. My man was going to take care of it for me but i was like no i am and i did. The cops laughed at this guy cause i broke his nose. I was so pissed off after cause i wanted to do more to this guy but he was taken to jail for the night. I am so sore now i have ice on my eye and i am going to get some sleep now. So i will talk to everyone later on or tommorrow i have to party again tonight lol. I am very tired now. love hotchic

Drunk Pic Contest
comment on me here please!!!! drunk pic contest go ahead bomb me I dare you!! copy and paste the following address into address bar comments should be directed to the pic at the following address. http://cherrytap.com/viewimage.php?u=282448&i=1503148729

Drunken Stupidity
WOW! So when you are drunk and your friends approach you with scissors RUN!!!! Yea mixed drinks are not my friend I am a very light drinker and I dont really do it that often. So when I was completely smashed my friend came up to me and said, "Jenn you know you need to do something new with your hair." As true as this statement is, my old hair was way way better then the choppy flop of mess it looks like. So now my hair looks like shit, I feel retarded, and now I dont watn to go to work tomorrow out of fear that the girls will notice. My best friend is going to save me tomorrow night and fix it (girls always have a friend that is a hair stylist!!) So look forward to pics of the aftermath (there will be none taken until the mess has been fixed *cough*brad*cough* so too bad!). Hope yall had a better weekend then I did.

~drunk As Drunk~pablo Neruda
~Drunk as Drunk~ Translated from the Spanish by Christopher Logue Drunk as drunk on turpentine From your open kisses, Your wet body wedged Between my wet body and the strake Of our boat that is made of flowers, Feasted, we guide it - our fingers Like tallows adorned with yellow metal - Over the sky's hot rim, The day's last breath in our sails. Pinned by the sun between solstice And equinox, drowsy and tangled together We drifted for months and woke With the bitter taste of land on our lips, Eyelids all sticky, and we longed for lime And the sound of a rope Lowering a bucket down its well. Then, We came by night to the Fortunate Isles, And lay like fish Under the net of our kisses. ~Pablo Neruda~

Drunk Survey..taken From The Ben Lol ;p
Drunk Survey 1. Have you ever been drunk? Duh lol 2. How old were you the first time you got drunk? 19 3. Have you ever gotten/given digits while intoxicated? No. 4. Have you ever 'drunk dialed'? yeah 5. Have you ever been drunk in front of family members? yes lol 6. Have you ever had to cover up the fact that you were drunk? yes 7. Have you ever been arrested for any alcohol-related crime? no i got away in time haha 8. Have you ever hooked-up with someone while drunk? no..well.. lol 9. Ever forgot their name? hahaha 10. When was the last time you were drunk? last night lol 11. Have you ever been on a drunken binge? long time ago 12. Do you need alcohol to have a good time? it helps but nah 13. What kind of alcohol gets you the most intoxicated? haha a long island ice tea! has 5 liquors 14. Favorite liquor? Tequilla, Vodka 15. Favorite beer? i dont really drink beer.. 16. Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking and

Drunk Guy And The Cop
A young man was staggering about drunk with a key in his hand. "What's going on?" inquired a passing cop. "They stole my car!" said the man. "Where did you last see it?" "On the end of this key!" The cop looked him over and said, "Are you aware, sir, that your privates are hanging out of your trousers?" "Holy Crap!" exclaimed the man. "They got my girlfriend too!

Drunk Old Guy
A drunken old guy stumbles into the front door of a bar, walks up to the bartender and says, "Give me a shot of tequila, damn." The bartender looks at him and tells him that he has had enough. So the old guy curses the bartender out and walks out the front door. A few minutes later, the same guy comes in through the side door and stumbles up to the bar and demands a shot of tequila. The bartender looks at him in disbelief and refuses to serve him again. The old guy curses him out again and storms out. A few minutes later, the same old guy stumbles in through the back door and before he could say a word, the bartender says, "Listen, I told you already twice that I'm not going to serve you, so get out of my bar, you drunken bastard." The old guy looks at the bartender and says, "Damn, how many bars do you work at?"

Drunk Driving,being A Good Samaritian,and The Rabbid Squirrels
Well it's been quite a week for me....the new yr started of fuckin GREAT!!! good friends good times and good music. spent monday just chillin out recovering from the weekend..nothing exciting..ENTER TUESDAY!!!! (cue dramatic music) Started off by driving all the way to fremont for an appointment to get my window fixed on my car...get there and they over booked so they couldn't get my car in......grrr (not like gas is cheap!!!) so get back to B.G. decide to go to the (s)mall and get me a new book.went and got it. and then on the way home some kid fuckin rear ends me! no damage to the car so I let it go...I got 1 ticket for already for kickin some guys truck door in for clippin the front of my car. so I get home and read for awhile.... Tuesday night..Matt,Dan, and myself decide to go out for martini night @ Skybar..it's been a rough week or so for Dan so it would be good to get out and have some fun..we all had a couple and went back to work out..well that was the plan for me till I

Drunk Survey
Have you ever: fallen asleep with your face in the toilet? Yes taken off your clothes? They just fall off kissed someone of the same sex? Uh no woken up next to someone you didnt know? Yes puked on someone else? No fallen down a flight of stairs? Yes driven a car? Yes - almost got the DUI stolen anything? Yes broke anything that wasnt yours? No sang stupid songs really loudly? yes - almost knew the words too gotten kicked out of anywhere? Yes told someone you hated that you loved them? No cried uncontrollably? No went out in public? Yes yelled to a croud 'IM DRUNK'? No talked to a police man? Yes laughed until you peed your pants? No talked to your parents? Yes (wasnt pretty by the way smoked pot Yes did pills? Nope Who gave you your first drink? Hell if I can remember Who first got you drunk? Me & my buddy Mark Where was that? Skipped school and went to the park Who's your favourite drinkin'

Drunkin Billiards Is A Art.
Drunkin billiards is a art. It is the ability to see straight lines even if your not able to walk in one. It is the ability to decipher wich one of the three cue balls is the real one. It is the ability to focus on the game and not every piece of ass that walks by as you take your shot. Its the ability to have fun at something even when your losing. Playing Drunkin Billiards is truly the yoga of the alcoholic

Drunken Ramble
So, I'm sitting here drinking some shit and I started thinking, you know how that goes. What I'm thinking about is people. People and their personalitys for instance. I understand we get alot of our personalitys from from life experiences growing up. Being a kid shapes who we are as men. But is that all? We're all born with some kind of personality. Before we're exposed to anything we have ourselves and who we are, what we do, what we feel, etc... Is this something we are predisposed to have? Who decides what we start out as and when does that change to what we turn out to be? Or are we always on a predetermined path? Can you be one way and change yourself to be different? Or is "different" what you were always meant to be, waiting only on the time for change to take place? Ok, fuck it, yes I'm a lil tipsy, but so the fuck what. To me, life is like one big obstical in front of your optical built to make you question yourself, question others, question whats real. Life, i

Drunk And Stupid
TWO IRISH BOYS PAT AN MICK ARE OUT BAR HOPPING ONE NIGHT, AS THAY STUMBLE INTO THE PUB MICK LOOKS AT THE BARTENDER AND SAYS GIVE US A SHOT AN BEER THE BARTENDER TELLS THEM (AW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE BOTH OF YOU ARE 3 SHEETS TO THE WIND ) MICK TELL THE B-TENDER WE CAN DRINK A LEPERCON UNDER THE TABLE GIVE US ASHOT AND A BEER, AS THE MAN BEGINS TO POUR PAT ASKS HIM WHERE IS THE BATHROOM AT THE MAN TELLS HIM TO GO TO THE END OF THE BAR MAKE A RIGHT GO THROUGH THE THE DOOR AND ITS THE FIRST DOOR ON THE RIGHT AS PAT HEADS TO THE BATHROOM MICK CHATS WITH THE BARTENDER, AS HE REACHES DOWN PICKS UP THE SHOT JUST AS HE GETS IT TO HIS LIPS THAY HEAR A BLOOD CURLING SCREEM MICK DROPS THE SHOT ON THE BAR AND ASKS WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT THE BARTENDER TELLS HIM I THINK IT WAS YOUR FRIEND IN THE BATHROOM YOU MIGHT WANT TO GO CHECK ON HIM MICK SAYS AW FUCK EM HE WILL BE ALL RIGHT GIVE ME ANOTHER SHOT FOR THE ONE I SPILLED, THE B-TENDER SETS HIM UP ANOTHER AND JUST AS HE GETS IT TO HIS LIPS AGAIN ANO

Drunk Funny
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. British Constitution 3. Passive-aggressive disorder THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. 2. Nope, no more beer for me. 3. Sorry, but you're not really my type. 4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight? 5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing

Drunk
WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head of romaine lettuce, A 2 lb. can of coffee, and A 1 lb. package of bacon. As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status. Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

The Drunk Dog
Last night was very fun I got my pit with three legs drunk on tequila!! She is a light weight and couldn't handle it. Passed right out after two shots. I had to finish the bottle off by myself. My kids were gone and it was storming. I sat up and watched The Day after Tomorrow. A very good flick by the way.

Drunk Driving Test
Too bad we can't do a test for stupid people...might eliminate a lot of problems lol A Louisiana State Trooper pulled a car over on US165 about 2 miles south of the Louisiana/Arkansas State line. When the Trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Monroe to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late. The Trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and asked if he driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the Trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The Trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the Trooper got 3 flares, lit them and handed them to him. While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car, a drunken good old boy, from Arkansas, got out, watched the performance, then went over to the patrol

3 Drunks Walk Into Abar...
Dustin, Tawana & I decided to go to Alexandre's down on Cedar Springs one Thursday night to hear the wonderful Anton sing...so we drank, listened to great music, and wrote notes on napkins...good times!Dustin looks so smart in his glasses! Pinky & Blondie...Tawana says "Go Loopy"

Drunk Dialogue
Another night of writing poems and hitting hennysee Thinking about every friend I had... that's now my enemy I loved them all like brothers, some of them was even family Attached to me by blood, now it's hatred, it's so sad to see... I know I'm wrong, and I'm not supposed to feel this way But honestly I could give a dam if they got killed today But I will say... that I wish them the best But that doesn't change my feeling none the less... Sometimes I wish I wasn't stricken with a cold heart But everything I've witness in the past has made me so dark For every good there's something bad to override it To the point now that's all I can invite in... A life sin, and truthfully, I don't really like it much But I'd rather suffer first before I say I like you chumps I'll tell the truth to you and save you all the lies You will always be a stranger in my eyes... -Nemesis the Nazerene-

The Drunk Driver...
Recently a routine RCMP patrol parked outside a bar just off the main Highway at Goobies , Newfoundland . After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and line out the window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish. A number of other patrons failed to observe this crazy drunk as they left the bar and drove off. Finally the drunk started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for

The Drunk And Priest
The drunk and Priest A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" The priest replied, "My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, a contempt for your fellow man,sleeping around with prostitutes, and lack of bath. The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned," then returned to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

Drunken' Choo Choo And 420 Caboose!! (this Will Be Updated Regularly!!
So here it is... the coolest people on CherryTap... Go check these people out!! They are by far some of the best people i have met!! MAKE SURE YOU RATE AND FAN ALL MEMBERS... OTHERWISE.. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF THIS!! 6 Days To Nowhere (Please all fans sign guestbook!)@ CherryTAP Silhouette {6 Days to Nowhere Hitman }@ CherryTAP †Ruiner†∞6 DAYS TO NOWHERE©∞Graveyard Family∞(XDementor of the Graveyard GuysX)@ CherryTAP lowend breakdown {6 Days Bass/ Screamer}@ CherryTAP king for a day, fool for a lifetime@ CherryTAP ~*~Yandra~Coyote Ugly Bartender/Beauty Crew~Asian Sweetheart~*~@ CherryTAP I`m Falling and I Can`t See the Ground~CT Divorce Lawyer~Matts Wife@ CherryTAP Krissy@ CherryTAP TeXXas

Drunk Little Tidbits
Alright so I've been drinkin... I'm gonna type a bit.(please excuse the typo's) If your going to talk to me know this; I might be a bit of a tease but I would never cheat on ANYONE so don't even try(this means you man with a wad of cash, you know who you are). I like to drink, but not in excess. My poison of choice is Vodka of course straight up(preferably absolute but smirnoff twist is great too), why bother with the rest? If I'm going to get drunk i don't want to fill up on pop. I drive a minivan, it ROCKS! I love my minivan i can take up to 8 people wherever the fuck I want to! what can beet that right?! I got my first tatoo when I was 16. For some reason my mom thought i wanted either a tattoo or a piercing tho i didn't necessarily want either, so I just went with it. It was awesome didn't hurt at all, if I were to recomend any spot it would be the shoulder. I have no peircings at this point, I don't want anything naughty tho, i just want an industrial in my left ear. Those are so

Drunken Moments
Ok so get this, had a kick ass time at cinco de mayo up here in lovely ole Waterville Maine. I was the soberest one of the bunch, they were like 3 drinks a head of me, but i was still trashed. this car pulls up ahead of us and takes up two fucking lanes. so im like ok this truck is alittle bit bigger than im use too, ill just go over the curb...IN FRONT OF A FUCKING COP!! He then decides he wants to pull out behind us. I realized i was going like 80 in a 65 and slowed wayyyy down. he turns his blues on...im thinking FUCK we're all fucking trashed beyong believe. Ask how we are and where we had just come from...im like Pete and Larrys, im driving these drunk people home, when in reality im driving myself home and they were gonna sober up adn drive themselves like 45 mins away. He takes my registration, insurance and lisence back to the other officer and was like "they sped past us going way too fast" then the other officer was like "its not them." so in reality they pulled us over for n

Drunken Psycho
Drunken Psycho Dangling body dripping blood Screaming frenzy have no fear can you look at the rage in my eyes If I squeeze your throat would you scream in my ear? Busted nose twisted face Drill up your holes while you spray a can of mace Shriek the savage outcry of agony so defend yourself and to the death war cry LOUD and CLEAR rub my face in the dirt and kick me where it hurts Bring me down with your sinking ship and I will drown with you wanna drown wanna croak wanna see the end of the day see not the beginning of the dawn I'm making no sense as this poem has deteriorated It's gone away the spirit has gone away the joy has gone away for good goodbye

Drunk And High
At this exact moment i'm fairly well on my way to be completely shit faced drunk and I'm already high. I cann feel the drink working its magic as my fingers numb and my words run on quite madly . . . .its as if i have no control over the words i'm typing theym its pretty trippy. . . later

Drunkeness
Signs Your Drunk You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Your job is interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream. Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. You sincerely believe alchohol is the elusive 5th food group. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? I think not! Two hands and just one mouth.. - now THAT'S a drinking problem! You can focus better with one eye closed. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar. You fall off the floor.. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner! Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you. At AA meetings you begin: 'Hi my name is.. uh..' Your idea of cutting back is less salt. You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep cloth

Drunkin Man Stories
hey she has a good rack love the way it hangs in the back window of her truck, if i had a six pack , i would ask her out but theres one thang i lack, bullets for that gun, she has me on the run, did you know you cant out run a truck in park, i could hardly stand up, so i mostly sit, i am all man, you cant handle this why try to understand why i piss standing up, i used could hit a tree from 3 feet, now i hit my own two feet, oh well this date has gone south, hope she enjoys my cousin company i will this case that was left, oh well never believe to be right, this case of bud is my date tonight...

Drunk Driveing
----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: Sunshine Date: May 20, 2007 3:27 PM ----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: I thought of just your face Date: May 19, 2007 8:16 PM ----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- This is Jacqueline Saburido on September 19, 1999. This is her and her Father, 1998. This is her on Vacation in Venezuela. Birthday party as a child. At a party with friends. The car in which Jacqueline traveled. She was hit by another car that was driven by a 17-year old male student on his way home after drinking a couple of hard packs with his friends. This was in December 1999. After the accident Jacqueline has needed over 40 operations. Jacqueline was caught in the burning car and her body was heavily burnt during around 45 seconds. With her Fathe

Drunk Drivin
----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: Sunshine Date: May 20, 2007 3:27 PM ----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: I thought of just your face Date: May 19, 2007 8:16 PM ----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- This is Jacqueline Saburido on September 19, 1999. This is her and her Father, 1998. This is her on Vacation in Venezuela. Birthday party as a child. At a party with friends. The car in which Jacqueline traveled. She was hit by another car that was driven by a 17-year old male student on his way home after drinking a couple of hard packs with his friends. This was in December 1999. After the accident Jacqueline has needed over 40 o

Drunkness
Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk... a) Innovative b) Preliminary c) Proliferation d) Cinnamon Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk... a) Specificity b) British Constitution c) Passive-aggressive disorder d) Transubstantiate Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk... a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you. b) Nope, no more booze for me. c) Sorry, but you're not really my type. d) No kebab for me, thank you. e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight? f) I'm not interested in fighting you. g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing. h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool. i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street. j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

The Drunk
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?" "Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies. The cop asks "Where was your car the last time you saw it?" "It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies. About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out.......... "Oh my God ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!!!!!"

Drunk Driver
[ The Test--] A Georgia State Trooper pulled a car over on I-95 about 2 miles south of the Georgia/South Carolina state line. When the Trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Savannah to do a show that night at the Shrine Circus and didn't want to be late. The Trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket. The driver told the Trooper that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The Trooper told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler stated that he could, so the Trooper got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler. While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car, a drunk good old boy, from S.C., got out and watched the performance briefly,

Drunken Chicken
Original recipe yield: 5 servings PREP TIME 30 Min COOK TIME 1 Hr READY IN 1 Hr 30 Min PHOTO BY: lorena US METRIC SERVINGS About scaling and conversions INGREDIENTS * 1 (3 pound) whole chicken * salt and pepper to taste * 1 cup Dijon-style prepared mustard * 8 fluid ounces beer * 1/2 cup Italian-style salad dressing DIRECTIONS 1. Prepare an outdoor grill for medium heat, and lightly oil grate. 2. Rinse chicken and pat dry. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Coat with mustard. 3. Pour half of beer out of can and refill with Italian style dressing. Place can on a disposable baking sheet. Set chicken on beer can (it acts as a stand), inserting can into cavity of the chicken. 4. Place baking sheet with beer and chicken on the prepared grill. Cover, and cook about 1 hour, until chicken is no longer pink and juices run clear. number of stars READ REVIEWS (39) * REVIEW/RATE THIS RECIPE * SAVE TO RECIPE BO

Drunky Mcdrunk Survey
Drunky McDrunk Survey When drunk, I...flirt more, giggle more, have deep, meaningful conversations, and dance my ass off! 2. Do you talk about Religion or Deep meaning thoughts? sometimes 3. Do you Cry? do dogs bark? oh you mean when I drink - depends 4. Do you get Angry? rarely 5. Do you Vomit? depends on how much I’ve had to drink, what I mix and how long it’s been since I’ve eaten 6. After 7 beers you are? just getting started 7. After 1 shot of 151 you are? ready for the next 150 - lol 8. Your favorite drink is? alcoholic 9. Tequila does what to you? Makes my clothes fall off...HUSH Kiss74! 10. Whiskey makes you? pass out 11. Who do you drink with? whoever is available 12. Vodka makes you? HAPPY 13. Do you smoke when you drink? umm, the only time I don’t smoke is in church and while sleeping 14. On the rocks or straight up? yes please – just don’t leave me empty 15. Do you Pass Out? once – on whiskey 16.

Drunk Missing Car. . .
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?" "Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies. The cop asks- "Where was your car the last time you saw it?" "It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies. About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's wiener hanging out of his fly for the entire world to see. He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out... "I'll be damned ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!!!!!"

Drunk Driver
Early Sunday Morning 6/3/2006 The unthinkable happened. I lost my 42 year old brother and his 16 year old son in a head on collision to a drunk driver. This still seems so unreal. They were so strong and loving. They were my heros. My first thought was this can't be happening. This don't happen to 2 people like them. I feel so numb because they made sure I was safe and well all the time. now I feel not only depressed but so angry at the 26 year old man that did this. I don't know what I should wish upon him. God wouldn't want my family to wish bad things upon him but it is hard not to. My brother had 3 wonderful kids and now 2 of them are left with out their father and baby brother. They were truley loved. There were so many people at the funeral. One person said they stopped counting at 400. That is so awsome that they had that many friends and family but then there is that many people also hurting at the loss. Please everyone. Don't drink and drive. You might not think it could h

The Drunk
He did it again Went out and got wasted He knew he shouldnt have But that the only time he is happy He knew he had to work He just didnt care He over sleep the next morning Now he is in trouble He just dont know how much He got to work late Still smelling like booze Sleep it off some But is still tipsy He needs help bad But is scared to ask for it So many people is willing But he thought he was fine Last night was the last straw He finally realized That he is a drunk

Drunk Dailing And Text
The Rules of Drunk Dials & Text Messages 1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. 2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen. 3.If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. "Mom I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you" 4.Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking them to bend you over something. Especially call your lover, they will get a kick out of you and your new found kinkyness. 5. Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come. 6. Drunk texting is all right... If you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober. 7. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had

The Drunk
The drunk drinking herself to death, the vile stench of her breath, wine in the left hand vodka in the right, drinking all day and all through the night you want to help her but cant find a way, so u smile and just hope that it all goes away, but deep down inside you know that shes dead, and every morning will she get up from her bed screaming and crying ohh i cant take no more, but youve heard all of this time and time before, oh shutup mum your not going to change your fucking deranged, oh yes i will i love you to much dear ill stop tommorrow while she clutches in her hand a can a beer tommorrow comes out, comes the sun but mum is still drunk darkness once again prevails one day i say one day it will change

Drunk Driving Test (x)
A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell liquor on her breath. He said, 'I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.' She blew up the balloon and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, 'It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones.' She replied, 'You mean it shows that, too?'

Drunk Singing?
Why do people always sound better singing when they are drunk? LOL...I was drinking tonight and then went to sing with a buddy of mine to practice for this dang talent show shit and I think I sounded so much better tonight after a few Long Island Ice Teas in me! Is it true people sound better when they drunk or is it just the confidence level is foggy so they belt out all kinds of mess? LOL

Drunkin Idiot Jumps Out Of Moving Suv
his took place a block where i live last night ROCHESTER — A man in his 30s was airlifted to Maine Medical Center in Portland, Maine last night after he was found lying unconscious on Route 11. Police say it appears the man jumped out of a moving vehicle headed eastbound on Route 11 but aren't sure of the sequence of events leading up to the man's alleged jump. "We're still looking into exactly what happened, the report is he jumped out the window from a moving vehicle but we're trying to piece together what happened," Capt. Scott Dumas said. Dumas said the man, who police aren't identifying, was a passenger in a Nissan Pathfinder with multiple people. He said it appears they were returning from the NASCAR event in Loudon. "We believe he was arguing with people in the vehicle," Dumas said. Some passing motorists first spotted the man shortly after 10 p.m. in front of Envision Kitchen and Bath. "He was laying flat on his back with his arms straight out and was bleed

Drunk N Happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HEHEHEHE!!! I SO HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPY!!!! well, this could be due to tha fact and influence of a 40 ounce, 6 smerinoffs *tripple blacks* finally delted burned and erased nething to due wit my exie **yaya fo me* and am just so happy....weee lol

Drunk People!!!
soo last night wile i was at work i was told that i should blog about the shit i go through wile at work... so here i go. so i work at IHOP here in Racine and i work 3rd shift witch can be alot of fun! well last night i guy and his two friends came in and said that if i was to post blogs about my time at work thay would read it... then the said the best part that if thay did read it that thay would be the ones i was talking about... how did thau know??? well you know them nasty ass serups that we have on the tables?? well to of them decided that thay where gonna chuge tham! witch is just nasty!!! well when it came time to drop off there bill thay got all pissed off cuz there was a $6 charge for the serup that thay where stupid enough to drink. then thay had the nirve to complane that there was a 15% gatuity!!! im sorry but the only reason that we do that is because if we didnt us servers would not be makeing ANY and i mean ANY money. i`m sorry but i only make $2.33 an hour.

The Drunkin Boyfriend Saga
Since the BF don't know about me having a profile on this site, I feel safe posting this. Unlike my Myspace account, he can't get access to this (he don't know shit about computers; except how to navigate Myspace) I just need to vent...please bear with me.... Buddy and I have been dating/living together since March '06...We met at a bar, of all places, with several things in common, which I don't want to enclose. Anyways, things went fine for awhile. Actually, things were great! Then on Oct., he started drinking heavily, going out all the time and leaving me at home. In Dec., one of his co-workers intoduced him to Crack. We battled that together for 2 months. I finnaly was able to get him to stop. If any of you know, crack is a hard habit to break, but when you really care for someone, it can be broken. He hasn't touched it since March. Thank goodness! It took me leaving for three days and a lot of arguing. It was rough and there are times I think he still messes with it (it's all in

Drunk???
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon 5. Chimney THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. Anti-consti tutionalistically 3. Passive-aggressive disorder 4. Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. 2. Nope, no more booze for me. 3. Sorry, but you're not really my type. 4. Taco Bell? No, thanks, I'm not hungry. 5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight? 6. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing karaoke. 7. I'm not interested in fighting you. 8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool. 9. Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street. 10. I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

Drunken Words Of Wisdom
pokemon rocks but its addictive being a grown man it seems odd to hear oh you got an gameboy advance sp what are you playing and i say pokemon. why is it that a man cant tell a woman how he feels without being a creep, liar, or just wanting sex. come on women its not all about you. i personally like to have fun and hang with ladies not so they will fuck me but to see what they want/are like... oh and why cant a man enjoy talking to you cause he thinks he can truely help you understand. no he just want to fuck you and brag to his friends. try this once tell him how you feel when he asks instead of saying im not interested thanks but no thanx you might get suprised. they say guys are nothing but horn dogs but how is it that women seem to want sex more then a man.. have you ever looked into the eyes of a man that says just what you want to hear and looks just like the type of man you want and have him treat you like shit yet the man beside him that looks like a normal man he

A Drunken Man......
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!" The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!" At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says................... "Grandpa,....... Go home, you're drunk!"

The Drunk
A drunk guy gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming about in there? he yells. "You're scaring my customers!" "I'm just sitting here on the toilet," slurs the drunk, "and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls. With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"

Drunk Dialing
~~~~~~~ Rules Of Drunk Dialing ~~~~~~~~~~ 1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. 2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen. 3. If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. "Mom, I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you." 4. Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something?? 5. Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come. 6. Drunk texting is alright… if you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober. 7. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night. 8. You

Drunk Text
The Rules of Drunk Dials & Text Messages 1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. 2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen. 3.If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. "Mom I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you" 4.Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking them to bend you over something. Especially call your lover, they will get a kick out of you and your new found kinkyness. 5. Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come. 6. Drunk texting is all right... If you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober. 7. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had

Drunky Writings Again...
Hiya folks, It's me again. your drunky friend that doesn't sleep enough. I have bee thinking lately that the majority of the women who court them don't know the difference. Uh. yeah nevermind. How about them politicians? crooked as a sherman's necktie... and how about them other sons of so and sos... but that is what I'm talking about. yay us for having accomplished the raising of anger towards us as high as it has ever been., I love our foreign policy. were gonna reap the benefits of our bad manners in dealing with the rest of the war. huzzah. I'm going to sleep now. as I pass out from the alcohol coursing through my veigns at an amazing level. I love whisky. Zzzzz....

Drunk
DRUNK He has a couple of drinks- He makes a few winks- Until he stops and thinks- What is he doing- What is he thinking- Where is he going- He doesn't know- And he's too drunk to remember- At home sleeps his wife- and in the room next to her- Sleeps his sixteen year old son- Where is he- His wife worries at 2:00 a.m.- His son drinks his life away not knowing why- He debates should he go home- Or sleep in the car- He meets a girl- Takes her to a motel- and leaves 2 hours later- Goes home and sleeps in the car- When morning comes- Wife is up making breakfast- son hungover and up for school- Husband dead in car out front- Coroner reports cause of death- Alcohol Poisoning--Drunk! Fiction or Reality? It's Up To You!

Drunk Dialing
Okay so im going to be majorly drunk dialing tonight someone has already claimed the spot for my first drunk dial anyone else wanna be called? leave a number in my shoutbox or something lol ill come back and check to see who wants a call Later sexpots

Drunken Ramblings
I will keep this as clean as possible for those of you at work. I am sitting awake bored in the dark with only this computer to keep me from going insane. What is it about my personality that makes me NOT trust anyone. I expect the worst from people and Im pretty sure it's just because that's what I've seen from the majority of the people I let into my life. The cold dark mean side of people. I guess I just bring out the worst in people

Drunkin Words Are Sober Thoughts!!!
Don't you ever realize that when your drunk you say what you think about a person...for example...I went out with a few of my co-workers and I've always wanted to get with one of my male friends so anyway he drops me to the hotel that I'm staying at and stupid me asks him does he wanna come up...not thinking that there was someone with me...nut anyway at work we don't really talk but when after hours come and were getting drunk together..boy, you can't shut us up...

The Drunk And The Cop
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

2 Drunk Men
Two buddies, Bob and Larry, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly > > ?Larry throws up all over himself. > > ? > > ?"Oh, no...? Now my wife will kill me!" > > ? > > ?Bob says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and > > ?tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars > > ?for the dry cleaning bill." > > ? > > ?So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker. > > ? > > ?Eventually Larry stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a bad time. > > ?"You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're > > ?disgusting!" > > ? > > ?Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, Larry says, > > "Nowainaminit, I can? e'splain everythin. Itsh snot wha jew think. I only > > had a cupla? drrrinks. But thiss other guy got ssick on me...he had one too > > many! and? he juss koudin hold hizz liquor He said hes was verrry sorry an' > > gave me? twennie bucks for the

Drunk At Your Door...
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's half-past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?" "No. Get lost, it's half-past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's door to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?" "But the guy was drunk," says the husband

Drunken Stupor
I just want to apologize to anyone I annoyed/offended/pissed off etc. last night while I was drinking. I don't remember pissing anyone off, but it's possible :D. And for all of you who had to endure my drunken voice comments, voicemails, & phone calls: thank you :D, you're good sports LOL. Have a great day :D XOXO.

Drunk Dizzy Stumbling
I'm grain liquor drunk dizzy stumbling in with her, her soft hands melting into the skin of my back my chest my... ...oh my Lord I love this feeling feeling her flesh against me, gone in gusts of her sweet breath warm across my neck. We are smiling through our kisses slowly slowly swaying to some inner rhythm roiling - I could take her touches everywhere I go. I'm going to try. © All rights reserved

Drunk
I'm new to this bar and I keep getting lost because I can't seem to see over all these people thats on the dance floor. You can say I'm really enjoying myself. I just wish I would have made my friends tag along. Thankz for all the free drinks and OMG I have to PEE! Oh one more thing before I race off, you guys are always invited at my small little table near the vibrating speakers. I gotta GO!

Drunkinphilly
Yo what up all my fubar friends....Im in philly right now....everytime im here i wanna blog....I love it here...Im here with my sister my brother and my sisters husband....so fuckin kewl....Im really drunk maybe thats why im writing this, so if there are slepping mistakes i dont give a flying fuck...anywho....who lives in philly....anyone....just wanted to bullshit i guess....im here drinkin vodka,,,,my sister is gettin fucked in her room and my brother is in the other room learning his chinese....sooo smart i love the guy...Umm yeh i spelled alot of shit wrong...but why should i go back and correct it...fuck it....i love all of you guys on here...and gals....good times...get at me then...kisses oh yeh im horny asd hell

Drunk Dialing Rules
1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. 2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen. 3. If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. "Mom, I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you." 4. Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something?? 5. Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come. 6. Drunk texting is alright… if you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober. 7. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night. 8. You can also call this same ex and let him/her kn

Drunken Nursery Rhyme
Starkle Starkle little twink Who the hell you are you think¿ I'm not under the afflunence of inkohol although some thinkle peep I am I fool so feelish I don't know who is me and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.

Drunk
way is it when you are haing a good time with people someone always got to piss u off by saying something dumb. but you know you been drinking and you want to do something but you cant it fucking sucks sometimes to let someone walk over you because you dont want to go to jail but the asshole needs there ass kick but you can always wait to you are not drunk thats what i say

Drunk Driving~no One Wants To Here This
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her whe

Drunken Chicken
1 (3-pound) chicken Seasoned salt House seasoning, recipe follows 1 (12-ounce) can beer 1 sprig rosemary Preheat a charcoal grill over high heat. When the coals are hot and glowing, carefully push them over to the sides of the grill, leaving an open space in the middle of the grill. Wash and drain chicken. Coat the chicken inside and out with seasoned salt and House Seasoning. Open the can of beer and carefully insert a sprig of rosemary. Then, place the beer can into the body cavity starting at the rear of the chicken. Carefully place the chicken on the center of the grill, facing 1 of the banks of the coals, making sure not to spill the beer. Cover the grill and cook until chicken is done, approximately 45 minutes to 1 hour, turning the chicken as necessary. The chicken is done when the juice runs clear. Serve chicken with favorite BBQ sides. House Seasoning: 1 cup salt 1/4 cup black pepper 1/4 cup garlic powder Mix ingredients together and store in an airtight conta

Drunken Warbling
my heart breaks again and again, little by little - pieces of it lay scattered around your feet. my skin breaks and bleeds, needing to let the pain out; my heart shakes within, the crumbling flaking in a crimson dust as you say you're sorry ~ why do i forgive so readily? is it that my love is so encompassing, or am i just that weak? why to i forgive so easily? is it that i know this can persevere or am i just that desperate to be loved? ~ My compassion is broken now. My will is eroded, and my desire stolen and it makes me feel ugly. I'm on my knees and burning. My piss and moans are the fuel that set my head on fire. So smell my soul burning. I'm broken, looking up to see the enemy. I have swallowed the poison you feed me... but I survive on it, and it leaves me guilt fed, hatred fed, weakness fed.. and I feel ugly, and dead inside. Shit adds up at the bottom. You've left me no choice but to go inside and rebuild what's broken. Too much, too far, too late to li

Drunk Driving Reminder
*~*Blossom*~*Date: Oct 17, 2007 4:48 PM What you're about to see may be shocking.Hope you're readddy.='(This is Jacqueline Saburido on September 19, 1999. This is her and her Father, 1998. This is her on Vacation in Venezuela. Birthday party as a child. At a party with friends. The car in which Jacqueline traveled. She was hit by another car that was driven by a 17-year old male student on his way home after drinking a couple of hard packs with his friends. This was in December 1999. After the accident Jacqueline has needed over 40 operations.Jacqueline was caught in the burning car and her body was heavily burnt during around 45 seconds. With her Father, 2000. Getting treatmen

Drunk Elephants
Elephants electrocuted in drunken rampage They had found rice beer in Indian village; incident reflects loss of habitat The Associated Press Updated: 8:47 a.m. ET Oct 23, 2007 GAUHATI, India - Six Asiatic wild elephants were electrocuted as they went berserk after drinking rice beer in India's remote northeast, a wildlife official said Tuesday. Nearly 40 elephants came to a village on Friday looking for food. Some found beer, which farmers ferment and keep in plastic and tin drums in their huts, said Sunil Kumar, a state wildlife official. They got drunk, uprooted a utility pole carrying power lines and were electrocuted in Chandan Nukat, a village nearly 150 miles west of Shillong, the capital of Meghalaya state, Kumar said. "There would have been more casualties had the villagers not chased them away," said Dipu Mark, a local conservationist. The elephants are known to have a taste for rice beer brewed by tribal communities in India's northeast. Four wild elephants

The Drunk Dial
DRUNK DIALING RULES... 1.Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. 2.It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen. 3.If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. "Mom I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you" 4.Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something. 5.Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come. 6.Drunk texting is alright... If you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober. 7.It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night. 8.You can also call this same ex a

Drunken Spew
blah blah blah Being young dumb and you know the rest, brought forth the enevidible ending to the start of this vision to my demise. Being younger I had no clue to what the unfortunate recepiant desired to hear, none the less I bull-shited my way through it, and the out come was always to my liking. Now, with age comes wisdom, followed by empty nods, and emotional complacentcy..... So, I speak with all the respect one could dream of....... "danny legend"

Drunken Memories!!
1. When drunk, I tend to... -Be flirty 2. Do you talk about religion or deep meaningful things? -Nope 3. Do you Cry? -Not really but I came close to it this past sat 4. Do you get Angry? -Not usually. 5. Do you puke? -Every once in a while 6. After 7 beers what are you doing? -Reaching for the 8th one 7. Your favorite drink is? -Southern Comfort... 100proof 8. Tequila does what to you? -It gets me drunk quick... I get emotional also but not sad or anything, just the feeling 9. Do you drunk dial? -I used to 10. Who do you drink with? -Friends and roommates 11. Vodka makes you? -Drunk!! 12. Do you smoke when you drink? -Depends on who I'm with 13. Do you Pass Out? -Haven't yet 14. Do you drink girly drinks? -Sometimes 15. Do you drink alone? -No 16. Worst Drink you have ever had? -Some little green fucker reject. It was disgusting 17 and 18? 19. Favorite Beer? -Budwiser select? lol 20. What is your favorite shot? -Sh

Drunk, I Think
I just crested marker numero 38, biologicly im fine and I still have decent curb appeal. I would imagine my resale value is up to par with the fair trade market value,(depending on how many drinks you have). Heres the deal: I have been in the construction trade for at least two decades that could easily resemble the not so desireable "roller coaster ride", none the less no matter what I did in my past or how I looked I could find a job, short term, long term, good, crappy... osama, bundy, or even manson could land one. Now.... I cant seem to hook anything, even if I baited my resume hook with money and halfway decent hookers,(and meaning most of their teeth are still intact and they take cash not crack and food stamps) Since getting a gold metal in the drunk driving olympics (twice, since they are only held four years apart)and forfeiting my ability to put more money into the silver lined pockets of our beloved oil swines. (bush) Being a carpenter used to be a big deal, now you have to

Drunk
Hey there ya'll... I just got home from the bar with my oldest son...If you KNOW me, then you know this is something I don't usually do...I have a damn good buzz goin' on...hehe If ya'll don't see me by the usual time and you have my phone number, please call and wake me up...I have slept to long...lol Proof for tomorrow, of my stuper...lol Huggs and kisses and MUCH LOVE to all, ~Sadie Grace~

Drunk Poem #1
Tonight I saw Blood; My eyes didn't flood For it was caused by my own hand Tonight I hit a man. My girl had to hold me back I was on the attack How dare he do that to her-- Then have the nerve to send his friend back there Does raping a girl make you feel good? Does it make you feel hood? Don't get it twisted or confused. Alcohol should've been the only thing abused Men like you two aren't shit In your directions, i spit What you did to my girl sucked... but boy check yo face, cuz you got fucked Asshole number two; I didn't forget you Don't meet me in a dark place... Cuz i won't be afraid to fuck up YOUR face.

Drunk Poem #2
I'm tired of being single; No longer do i want to mingle. I want ONE man to hold So tonight my hands I fold God bring me my love The one you've sent from above Dry my tears. ease my fears Alone isn't for me. Send me the one that'll get down on one knee I know he's out there for me... waiting Show me where to go to stop the inner debating Give me a man to love and cherish I need a love that'll never perish I'm on my knees crying Inside I'm slowly dying I dont like coming home to an empty bed Please put my soulmate there instead.

Drunk
omg me and my friend had a hella drunk night lastnight. we drank an entire bottle of hypnotic and we had jaguer, rum, vodka, Bacardi 151 and a few others i just cant remember. Im gonna have pictures up soon of it. maybe have them up tomorrow.

Drunk Who Me??
Ok maybe I drank a bit too much tonight. Maybe I partied too hard but damn I had fun!!! I didn't get to meet the person I wanted to meet but I will. I know it's not his fault and I don't blame him at all. I did in fact have that cold one he told me to have for him and then I had a few more. Now I'm drunk and kinda tired and just want someone to hold. Being single sucks!!

Drunken Dj
If you are a friend of mine, this guy ( DrUnKeN DJ )Is a asshole,and Fucks with alot of girls on this site.and many others. He is also a one star bandit. So Everyone go to his profile..and One star him to death , Thanks. http://www.fubar.com/images.php?u=655637

Drunk, Naked Man Causes I-95 Wrecks
OK fellow Fubar members: DO NOT DO THIS!!!!! (or t least keep your clothes on) Nov 21, 11:21 AM (ET) BRANDYWINE HUNDRED, Del. (AP) - A naked, drunk man was arrested after he caused three accidents by running into highway traffic, police said. Two people stopped to try to help 26-year-old Ardonas Gilbert, who was running naked along the southbound lanes of Interstate 95 on Monday night, but he allegedly cursed at them and punched them, Delaware State Police said. Gilbert then ran into traffic, causing three separate accidents as motorists tried to avoid him, police said. No one was seriously injured. Gilbert, of Chester, Pa., was charged with two counts of assault and a single count of being drunk on a highway. He remained in custody Wednesday. Officials of the Court of Common Pleas in New Castle County said he did not yet have an attorney to speak for him.

Drunk
How many of you have that friend that gets drunk and then tries to fuck you? LOL Well I have this friend.. she is awesome. Well tonight she ripped 2 shirts off my body. Pics of this will probably surface soon. Since I had to take pics so she would remember. LOL.. well Just wanted ya'll to know for some reason... It was fun I laughed alot but now I am tired from fighting her off... I'm going to bed. Night all!!!

Drunk Driver Killed My Nephew
Drunk Driver killed my Nephew December 3, 2007 Thomasville -- A young boy was killed in a tragic accident in the parking lot of a Thomasville RV park, and the driver who hit him is charged with DUI. The 6-year-old was playing in the parking lot Sunday afternoon when he was run over by a pickup truck. The City of Roses RV park is a quiet place to live, where neighbors know each other. They frequently saw six-year-old Cameron Russell playing outside. But Sunday, a driver didn't see him. "It appears the vehicle was cutting through the RV park, didn't see the child," said Thomas County Sheriff's Investigator David Godwin. "Child was out playing, and struck the child." Russell died at a Tallahassee hospital. The driver, 46-year-old Tracy Mezatastra was arrested. "She's been arrested and charged with DUI pending test results. Blood samples have been sent to the crime lab. Once we get them back, we'll know further," said Godwin. Monday, relatives gathered at the Russell home

Drunk Driving
A newspaper in St. Mary's, Maryland is offering a free coffin to the first person to kill themselves in a drunk driving accident over the holiday season. The editor's brother was killed by a drunk driver in 1975 and has been crusading against drunk driving ever since. It's a compelling message, though we wonder how effective it's going to be. Though we do hear Tony La Russa is an early favorite. Reading the guy's newspaper (St. Mary's Today) makes use wonder if he isn't a bit off. That being said, I'm sure most of us have lost people we cared about to drunk driving and hope that no one has to claim the prize

Drunk Dialing
15 Rules Of Drunk Dialing Before you go out getting sloppy drunk and start phoning every friend, family, relative, or random person you can come across - there are a few rules you must know. Etiquette is very important, especially when drunk dialing. Only drunk dial when you’re drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. It’s okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don’t remember it, it didn’t happen. If you’re going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. “Mom I’m in McDonald’s and they’re playing our song. I love you.” Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn’t want to hear raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to get bent over? Voicemails are always better. This way your friends can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, or even weeks to come. Drunk texting is OK, but only if you’re prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you sober up. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes

Drunk Dialing Rules
1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. 2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen. 3. If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. "Mom I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you" 4. Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. 5. Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come. 6. Drunk texting is alright... If you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober. 7. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best they've ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night. 8. You can also call this same ex and let him know, that you know, that he still loves you. The

Drunkin Poem
Into light i have been caste, The pain taken away from my past, where once hatred ruled, My mind and heart is now cooled, With tenderness i was brought foreth, Now i must walk upon this new course, As the sun shines bright, Now i know i dont have to fight.

Drunken Sexual Chronicles Of +bauer+- Vol. 1
It was late. We were both wasted and and crawled into bed. Now, I am always up for sex, and this girl was stunning...but I was so drunk and so tired, I could take it or leave it. She advanced. I tried to comply the best I could and +Bauer+ Jr, was awake, but I was fucking beat. "We can do this, but you are gonna have to do all the work." She complied...in a big way. Next thing I know she is riding away like rodeo cowgirl and all I am is dead weight with a working pole (ok, maybe stick). Just when things seemed to be moving along fine... The unthinkable happened.... She bent me. Now I have watched a fair share of porn in my day. I have seen some guys with a flexible penis that can bend here and there. I am not one of those guys... and I got 90 degree angled. She freaked, I shrieked, she cried. "Why are you crying? I am the one with the broken dick?" She cried more. "Stop, stop stop. I'm fine, get back up there." So she did, with tea

Drunken Thoughts 2 Years Ago
a friday night blog So this one is at the beggining of the night as opposed to the day after like my first a week ago. I am sitting here in a OP IVY t shirt thats to small cause i am just that fucking punk. OK not really i just like this shirt probably more then i like the band. Now before you get on the "beat shawn up band wagon" just rest assurd i understand their place in the music world and recognize the fact that they were a pretty good band but you are not going to get me to worship the gods of punk cause i have to much to loose by giving up my industrial/goth/Emo heritage.....beer break......ok better. Now dont feal bad that you can't pull me to the "punk side" none has been able and oh have they tried.Oh yes and they have all failed. I just cant let go people so stop it. Besides all you punk people probably think digital watches are a "pretty good idea" R.I.P Duglas N. Adams i just have to say this before i continue fuck south korea...... OK i am a little b

The Drunken Sex Chronicles Of +bauer+- Vol. 2
I had being seeing Natalie for about 3 weeks. We hit it off right away. One night, her and her sister came out with my friends and I. We drank like fish. When the night was over, a few of us did some post partying. I went into the bedroom to change out of my bar clothes and slip into a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt. As I was changing, I took a header on to the bed and passed out. I do that when I am drunk. I will just fall asleep anywhere. After about 5 minutes of nappy time, Natalie woke me up by giving me a little speech. I opened one eye, and turned out the light. "I love to give blow jobs." She said. "I am amazing at it too, and I can practically cum just by giving one. Will you let me?" Now, I found the speech a bit odd since this wouldn't be the first time she blew me before, and I never got the preamble the other times. But it's Saturday night...so the answer was yes. So she started, and I laid back feeling like a master of the universe. Now, I am usually no

Drunk Post!
I'm shitfaced and not afraid to admit it. And I'm not just drunk. I'm so drunk that my feet are tingling. So drunk that my lips are numb. I stopped at Whataburger for breakfast. For those of you that don't have Whataburger, you're worthless! Living without Whataburger is worse than living without Jack in the Box. And living without Wienerschnitzel is actually worse than living without Whataburger. I'm so drunk that while drinking out of the milk carton (fuck you, I'm single) I almost fell over when the room started spinning. Now, I'm going to bed while Augen licks the remaining cheese out of his fur that fell while I was eating my breakfast burrito.

Drunken Miscomfort~
Drunken Miscomfort~ With each drink memories of you slowly fade A life we once shared suddenly disappears Dreams come crashing down all around us Worlds end as our spirits collide Thrown in different directions our hearts start to fall, Trying to find each other we fall together Hate now consuming both our hearts, From the start you hated me… And now you say you love me… As I fall for all to see, Naked and alone longing to be The earth suddenly came rushing up at me Finally I felt safe… For I escaped both you and me!

Drunk Phrases
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. Anti-constitutionalistically 3. Passive-aggressive disorder 4. Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. No thanks, I'm married. 2. Nope, no more booze for me! 3. Sorry, but you're not really my type. 4. Taco Bell ? No thanks, I'm not hungry. 5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight? 6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke. 7. I'm not interested in fighting you. 8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool! 9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road. 10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

Drunk1 Pimp Out
Hey everyone get your asses over to this guys page and rate him like mad crazy. He is one of the sweetest guys on Fubar and "REAL" he isn't a fake I just wanna be your friends to level type person. Come on Ladies he is gorgeous so go show him some love and you guys yeah it's ok to add guys to your friends list he is really cool. Drunk has been on Fubar for almost 2 years now and still trying to reach Godfather status so everyone who reads this go help him out. Drunk1.:Fu-Owner of Hope & Purest Of Angels:.:Fu-Owned By Ms Mojito:.@ fubar Drunk1 your ass was just put on the corner by Ice Love ya babe

Drunk Driver Parks At Police Station
OTTAWA (Reuters) - Police in the western Canadian town of Wetaskiwin didn't have to do much work when they arrested a drunk driver at the weekend -- he had parked his car next to their offices and wandered inside. Police discovered the man as they drove by early on Saturday morning to respond to an unrelated call. Although the police office was locked, the lobby was open. "There was a vehicle parked about 10 feet outside our front door. The gentleman had walked into the front lobby and he was displaying many indications of being intoxicated," Constable Mark Scheck said on Wednesday. "So at that point we did take him into custody ... it's pretty unusual," he told Reuters by phone from Wetaskiwin, some 45 miles south of Edmonton, Alberta. The 28-year-old man has been charged with impaired driving. (Reporting by David Ljunggren; Editing by Peter Galloway)

Drunk Dialing..
Y..... did he call me at 6 am... drunk as fuck. "baby i'm sorry for treating you like shit and cheating on you and stealing good will hunting and fight club.." "Andy..that was like ten years ago i've replaced them" "I'm sorry Casey, you know i still love you right?" "Yea whatever. Do you want to talk to the girls?" "Remember when we were driving from dayton to kansas and you gave me road head" "yea..what about it" "i love you" "where is kristen?" "she left me" "haha oh well, what do you want me to do about it?" "We should get back together" "Umm no. because you have chlamydia" Click. lmao

The Drunk
THE DRUNK SAYS THAT I'M WORTHLESS THE DRUNK SAYS THAT I AM LAZY AND ALL THOSE NASTY THINGS THE DRUNK SAYS THAT I DO NOTHING TO EAZE THERE PAIN THE DRUNK SAYS THEY'RE GOING TO LEAVE ME BUT THEY STAY AND FOR WHAT TO SEE HOW FOOLISH I AM BUT WHEN THEY ARE SOBER THEY SAY LOVE LOVE ME PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR ALL YOUR PAIN THEY SAY THEY STAY BECASUE THEY LOVE ME, BUT I KNOW THE DRUNK WILL BACK BACK ANOTHER DAY

A Drunks Poem
A Drunks Poem Starkle,starkle,little twink, who the hell your are i think. I'm not under what the call the alcofluence of incoloe. I'm not as drunk as thinkle peep, I'm just a little slort of sheep. Tee martoonies make a guy fool so feelish, don't know why. Rally don't know who's me yet The drunker i stay the longer i get so just one more to full my cup, I've all day sober to sunday up!

Drunk Poem
St Patrick's Day music, St Patrick's Day drink, St Patrick's Day merriment, Grand birthday for me. All are Irish on St Patrick's Day Shamrock stickers stuck to cheeks Bluegrass mixed with Irish drinking songs Makes your heritage feel complete. People dressed as leprechauns Drinking green beer Living the life of the "Irish" While making some people sneer. But the Irish unite around the world Singing songs on St Patrick's Day Tapping toes and whirling jigs While the Fae folk hide and play. Finnegan grabs his mug of beer. Paddy works hard on the railroad. Lanigan dances. Biddy Mulligan cheers. And down in the valley, the bogs explode. St Patrick's Day culture. St Patrick's Day birth. St Patrick's Day poetry and song Filled with magical St Patrick's Day mirth.

The Drunken Sex Chronicles Of +bauer+ - Vol. 3 (the Stink Files)
I have never claimed to be normal. One thing that may be a bit abnormal about me is how much importance I put on the power of smell. I like girls with nice natural smell. The way their skin smells to me can be the vital cog as to whether or not I love them for a month, a week, or forever. It’s something perfume can’t help or fix. In like manner, the rare time a girl has been stinky has effected if I want to be with a girl at all. Here are a few drunken encounters I have had involving the stinkyness of girls. -I was on a party bus and we were leaving a barbecue. I had been drinking in the sun all day and I looked tired. This hot girl who I had been bullshitting with was sitting in the seats in front of me. She stuck her head around the seats and said, "What’s wrong?" (Say it. It’s almost a complete exhale. "Whhhhatsss Wwwwroooong?") Well that question was a fully loaded dose of Doritos and stale beer. Up to that point that only thing that bothered me was the fact that I had to drop

Drunken Sex Chronicles Of +bauer+ - Vol. 1
It was late. We were both wasted and and crawled into bed. Now, I am always up for sex, and this girl was stunning...but I was so drunk and so tired, I could take it or leave it. She advanced. I tried to comply the best I could and Pacey Jr, was awake, but I was fucking beat. "We can do this, but you are gonna have to do all the work." She complied...in a big way. Next thing I know she is riding away like rodeo cowgirl and all I am is dead weight with a working pole (ok, maybe stick). Just when things seemed to be moving along fine... The unthinkable happened.... She bent me. Now I have watched a fair share of porn in my day. I have seen some guys with a flexible penis that can bend here and there. I am not one of those guys... and I got 90 degree angled. She freaked, I shrieked, she cried. "Why are you crying? I am the one with the broken dick?" She cried more. "Stop, stop stop. I'm fine, get back up there." So she did, with tears

The Drunken Sex Chronicles Of +bauer+ - Vol. 2
I had being seeing Natalie for about 3 weeks. We hit it off right away. One night,Nat and her sister came out with my friends and I. We drank like fish. When the night was over, a few of us did some post partying. I went into the bedroom to change out of my bar clothes and slip into a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt. As I was changing, I took a header on to the bed and passed out. I do that when I am drunk. I will just fall asleep anywhere.(Big Mistake!!!) That's another blog! After about 5 minutes of nappy time, Natalie woke me up by giving me a little speech. I opened one eye, and turned out the light. "I love to give blow jobs." She said. "I am amazing at it too, and I can practically cum just by giving one. Will you let me?" Now, I found the speech a bit odd since this wouldn't be the first time she blew me before, and I never got the preamble the other times. But it's Saturday night...so the answer was yes. So she started, and I laid back feeling like a master o

The Drunken Sex Chronicles Of +bauer+ - Vol. 3 (the Stink Files)
I have never claimed to be normal. One thing that may be a bit abnormal about me is how much importance I put on the power of smell. I like girls with nice natural smell. They way their skin smells to me can be the vital cog as to whether or not I love them for a month, a week, or forever. It’s something perfume can’t help or fix. In like manner, the rare time a girl has been stinky has effected if I want to be with a girl at all. Here are a few drunken encounters I have had involving the stinkyness of girls. -I was on a party bus and we were leaving a barbecue. I had been drinking in the sun all day and I looked tired. This hot girl who I had been bullshitting with was sitting in the seats in front of me. She stuck her head around the seats and said, "What’s wrong?" (Say it. It’s almost a complete exhale. "Whhhhatsss Wwwwroooong?") Well that question was a fully loaded dose of Doritos and stale beer. Up to that point that only thing that bothered me was the fact that I had to dro

Drunk
Boo i can't stop laughing i'm so drunk don't look things will happen that you don't wanna know.... don't ask... cause i couldn't really tell you cause i'm not looking.. like i said crazy thing are happening behind me... weeeee wooooooooooooooooooo like i siad i'm drunk....

Drunken Poems
-AWAY- Its a cloudy day The rain is softly falling The plants around me Covered in rain drops I reach out my hand To touch a raindrop It rolls off the leaf Falling into the palm of my hand As i stared at it It reminded me of how... I held a tear of yours In my hand... I started to think Of the things I said and done The hurt I caused you... I felt a pain Deep in my soul, mind, and heart My body started to feel weak I truly didn't mean to cause You pain To make you cry To lose love in me... As I'm walking down this street Alone, cold, sad, and afarid I feel a chill in the air I looked up to the sky The clouds were dark Like the pain in my heart The once softly falling rain Turned into pouring rain I prayed to God for forgiveness For the pain I caused yu I prayed that you would... love in me again I closed my eyes and... Then i saw your face The tears that you were crying I saw the pain in your eyes The sorrow in your heart I opened my eyes...

Drunk, Wha?
Okay, so my boyfriend at the time wanted to go to the bar with a few of our friends. He comes home... and this is what happens. Mind you, there's a wee bit a dick slapping, homo lovin' and flying pizza that we couldn't find. Enjoy fuckers. :p

Drunks
OK.. so a couple drunks just made my day... not that I understood half of what they said lol. Hope you have fun at Bamboozle guys. :) Got up early and took David back for something at his church.. was supposed ot take him.. but someone else decided SHE would.. long story lol. But now I am alone and it sucks. Was supposed to have plans tommorrow.. but they fell through too. So now I am working and avoiding cleaning the house. David and I did have a good weekend though. He never stopped bouncing off the walls until last night when he crashed early. I think he actually was more hyper than pluto this weekend. Guess he was just excited to be here with me. I fell asleep on Friday night sitting in my chair watching him sleep.

Drunk!
Tonight sucked ass!!!!! Drunk morons and yelling crying screaming.. Thank you Chris for putting some humor into my night!!! And I did tell her to get lower!! and she looked at me like I had three heads... I made my night... and I got to see a really messed up porn hahahaha ewwww!

Drunken Ramblings
Okay........ I may have over-reacted on the last one, but to be honest i've been feeling mixed the last couple of weeks. I've had a war going on inside me: A battle between two sides of me. A lot of you that really know me know that there are two sides of my psyche; a child and an adult. Well, i've decided the child needs to go away. It brought me nothing but grief and i've not been very happy lately. Again, nothing new there......... i've been, well, emo. A LOT. So i've decided to change. To grow. To become something better. I hope a lot of you will still treat me the same, and if not...... Well.... It's been a blast. Okay, back to the wine........ :D

Drunk Realizing
So Yea It Took Me Being Drunk To Realize This! Ok I'm Still A Lil Buzzed.....OK FUCK FINE! I'm Still Out Of It ! Well On To The Story As I Was "Drinking" I Got Hungry! I Made Waffles( Mind You I Really Don't Like Them That Much, But Dude After A Few Jack And Cokes The Safest Route Is The Waffles In A Toaster O_o Don't Judge Me!) AS I Was Making Them I Saw My Kitten Simba And Fell To The Floor (Yea I Attempted To Hug Him!) As I'm Laying There Trying To Make The Room Stop Spinning! I Started To Think Of My Life And Shit! Now I Know I Said That I Don't Wanna Be In A Relationship Till I Had My Life Straightened Out..BUT Damnit I Miss Being Able To Lay Next To The Guy I Love And Holding His Face And Just Getting Lost In His Eyes And Kissing Him!!!! But I Do Know That EVERY Time I'm In A Relationship I Put Off My Goals That I "NEED" To Accomplish.. So I'm Lost In A Maze! I Wanna Be Inlove But I Also Wanna Get My Life Together But I'm Not Really Happy Unless I Have Someone To Hold! Ugh My Lif

Drunk
> > >A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. > >The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in > >the pouring rain, is asking for a push. > > > >'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it is 3:00 in the morning!' He slams > >the door and returns to bed. > > > >'Who was that?' asked his wife. > > > >'Just some drunk guy asking for a push,' he answers. > > > >'Did you help him?' she asks. > > > >'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out > >there!' > > > >'Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't you remember about > >three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think > >you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!' > > > >The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding > >rain. > > > >He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?' > > > >'Yes,' comes back the answer. > > > >'Do you sti

A Drunk Is Sitting In A Bar
A drunk is sitting in a bar. There is a very buxom blonde a few seats down from him with breasts size 44DD'S. A fellow at the end of the bar calls for a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the lady's breasts and spills all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off of her breasts. This happens a couple more times. The next time, the drunk jumps up and starts to lick her breasts. She decks him! He's laying on the floor moaning and groaning. 'Why do you let the bartender do it?' 'Because he has.............(your gonna love this)...... A LICKER LICENSE!

Drunk Girl
Krunk girl! Dunk girl. Out of focus misunderstood in this crazy world. What is it that you seek? Why are you so angry? I have given you eyes that do not judge Hands that comfort not fondle. Ears that just listen have no words to speak. I given you love that will not fade threw your darkness that has no days Been you r pawn in the games you play. Cant give up on her. Wont stop being there to listen to your drunk talk. Shew away the devils that wait to feed on her flesh. See the golden in her when the world see a mess. My drunk Girl Krunk GIRL! So free with her body flirts with all the boys. This one tonight that one tomorrow and none of them give her joy. Always sreamin you want a man with more chips that chips ahoy. I don’t stick around out sorrow for her. Its just that I know her. Knew her when the anger was the size of pea. These are not the dreams she shared with me when we where kids and free. No

Drunks And Truths
Just a joke,,, not implying that it is about me lol... promise. WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk A carton of eggs A quart of orange juice A head of romaine lettuce A 2 lb. can of coffee A 1 lb. package of bacon As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk! to my marital status. Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause

Drunken Ramblings.
AIGHT, SO I SIT AROUND BY MYSELF AND I WONDER. ODD THOUGHTS AND SUCH. I WONDER IF I SHOULD HAVE THAT NEXT DRINK. IF THE PEOPLE I'M WITH REALLY GIVE A FUCK. IF I SHOULD BECOME A COP, WRITE A BOOK, GO TO THAT CULINARY ACADEMY AND BE ABLE TO KICK BOBBY FLAYS ASS AT IRON CHEF. I WONDER WHEN I DREAM IF THIS IS REAL, OR FUCKING NIGHTMARES. IF WHAT I'M WRITING WILL BE READ OR JUST FUCKING IGNORED. IF I HAVE A CHANCE WITH THIS GIRL OR JUST BLOW IT OFF BECAUSE IT WILL NEVER FUCKING HAPPEN. I MEAN I STEAL LINES FROM MOVIES THAT SEEM RIGHT, LIFE IS PAIN HIGHNESS AND ANYONE WHO SAYS DIFFRENT IS SELLING SOMETHING, OR WHAT DID YOU LEARN IN SCHOOL TODAY? REVENGE! I THINK AND I SEE ALL THESE THINGS BUT I WONDER OFTEN WHICH ONE IS RIGHT. DO PEOPLE STILL FUCKING CARE, OR AM I JUST WASTING MY TIME WONDERING IF MY TIME IS EVEN FUCKING WORTH IT?!?!? I GET TIRED OF WONDERING, AND I'M REALLY BORED OF BEING BORED. LACKLUSTER IS ONE OF THE WORDS I THINK ABOUT ALOT. I MEAN IT JUST SEEMS LIKE DEJU VU BUT WITH DI

Drunkeness Is A Temporary Suicide
Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don't drink too much. Then again, don't drink too little. ~Herman "Jackrabbit" Smith-Johannsen Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ~Ernest Hemingway A hangover is the wrath of grapes. ~Author Unknown I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk. ~John Marcellus Huston If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi. ~Author unknown, as seen on a bumper sticker Draft beer, not people. ~Author Unknown The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity. ~Author Unknown Wine is bottled poetry. ~Robert Louis Stevenson When the wine goes in, strange things come out. ~Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, The Piccolomini, 1799 If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic. ~Author Unknown If you know someone w

Drunk Driving And Seat Belt Safety
By all rights I shouldn't be here....by all rights these words shouldn't be coming out of my fingertips. By all rights...I should have been dead or wishing I was. But by all rights and by the grace of God I am still here. I have told this story to some people who know me....but I figure...give a man a platform and watch him take it. Back when I was 18 I was working one night...had to open the next day so figured I'd get some things done so I wouldn't have to tackle them the next morning. Left and went home satisfied with the work I had done...a night like most...but a night that would have an effect on me for the rest of my life. I went and stopped to get something to eat and drink...a routine I had done many times before....no biggie...consume it, get home, go to sleep, wake up and go back to work. Had both hands on the wheel....going through an intersection and this guy decides he wants to make a left turn in front of me...you can only guess what happened next....Impact! Next thin

Drunk Excuses
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube. " The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack. " "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample. " "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death. " "Well, then we need a urine sample. " "I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar. " "Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line. " "I can't do that, officer. " "Why not?" "Because I'm too drunk to do that.

Drunk Driving Penalties In Other Countries
Drunk Driving Penalties in other Countries Australia: The names of the drivers are sent to the local newspapers and are printed under the heading "He's Drunk and in Jail". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Malaysia: The Driver is jailed and if married, his wife is jailed too. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- South Africa A 10 year prison sentence and the equivalent of a $10,000.00 fine -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Turkey Drunk drivers are taken 20 miles outside of town by police and are forced to walk back under escort -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Norway Three weeks in jail at hard labor, one year loss of license. Second offense within five years, license revoked for life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Finland & Swede

Drunkered
20 signs a girl should call it a night: 1. I have absolutely no idea where my bag is. 2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my bootay while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around. 3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too. 4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Lily Savage than the goddess I was just four hours ago. 5. I drop my 2:00 a.m. burger from mcdonalds on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it. 6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them so much. 7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work or enter the classroom. 8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me. 9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my biology teacher. 10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelmi

The Drunk
THE DRUNK A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand. He is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, "Can I help you, sir?" "Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrrr," the man replies. The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?" "It wasss on the end of thisshh key," the man replies. About that time, the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man, "Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch, and without missing a beat, blurts out, "Holy shit! My girlfriend's gone too!!"

Drunk
When girls drink too much.... 1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.. and for some reason, it's okay! 2. We believe that dancing around with our arms overhead and wiggling our butts while yelling "WOO-HOO" is truly the sexiest move around. 3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe we would do it too. 4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago. 5. We start crying and Telling telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo much. 6. Our eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so we keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy. 7. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "Oh my god! I love this song!" 8. We've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us. 9. We've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it. 10. We yell at the bartender, who we be

Drunk
Very simple tonight kids. I'm drunk. I made my date with the guy who I was supposed to see on Sunday night and I made him wait until tonight. I was supposed to be abstaining until the weekend but he harrassed me to such a degree I relented. To be fair, I didn't take THAT much pursuading and I just went round to his apartment with a bottle of wine and a huge dildo rather than mess about making small talk all night in a pub. I'd already downed a good few JDs while I got ready at home so was feeling like I could have done a football team! We both knew what was needed, and I was happy to play along. I just toddled along in my high heels, little denim skirt and slutty bra top, produced the wine and dildo and we pretty much got down to it there and then. He was solid as a rock straight away and desperate to fuck me but I took my time with him, teased him, made him take some pics with my camera (below hopefully) then he savaged me! I don't think I've ever seen such a big dick on

Drunken Nights
So you know you had a good night when you wake up shit faced the next morning. heres a little advice for ya, never skip in flip flops, the situation does not end well. spitting 151 into a campfire is entertaining albeit dangerous. mixing fire water with 151 is prolly the fastest way to get fucked up. if you let one person touch ur boobs everybody will want them. thats about it for the advice for now, i'm sure i'll think of some more later

Drunk
I JUST GOT HOME FROM THE LOCAL WATERHOLE OR 2 OR 3(WAIT I GOTTA PISS)OK I`M BACK.REALLY GUYS I DON`T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT AT TIMES LIKE THIS I`D JUST AS SOON FLOP THE LID DOWN AND SIT AND PISS LIKE A GIRL AT LEAST I AIN`T GOT TO CLEAN THE F--KIN PISS OFF THE STOOL OR FLOOR TOMORROW.HEY AM I ALONE HELL NO.IT`S REALLY TIME GUYS QUIT BEING SO F--KIN SELF RIGHTEOUS HELL YOU MIGHT EVEN SLIP A FART OUT WHILE YOU`RE THERE.DAMMIT I`M 50 YEARS OLD AND I REALLY AIN`T ASHAMED TO TALK ABOUT NOTHIN.LIFE IS TO SHORT TO BE AN UPTIGHT EGOTISTICAL ASH--E. LIGHTEN UP SHIT HAPPENS JUST BE GLAD YOU WERE THERE TO TALK ABOUT IT WHEN YOU`RE 50.I WAS THE LOCAL WHORE DOG IN MY DAY STREAKED THE DOWN TOWN AND DID THE SHIT EVERYONE ELSE DREAMED OF DOING IN THEIR OLD AGE.I DON`T REGRET A THING I`VE DONE 3 YEARS FOR UNCLE SAM(75 TO 78)PARTIED LIKE THE BEST OF YOU SO WHEN YOU LOOK AT MY PAGE DON`T JUDGE ME TILL YOU`VE WORN MY SHOES CAUSE I`LL HAVE TO WHIP YR ASS TO GET THEM OFF YR FEET.I`VE LIVED THE GOOD DAYS.

Drunkin Babble
I love fubarians. Plain and simple you all rock. I have never had a bad thing to say about any of you. Well there was a few bad things but the majority of you are incredible. There are so many strong women on this site that I admire. Women that aren't afraid to speak their minds and have a FUCK YOU attitude that I always liked about myself lol. I have also found some men that have been true friends to me. I am grateful. I am going through some nasty crap in my life right now that only one person on here knows about and his support blew my mind. Thank you Swift. I am putting a link to your page on mine. I owe you my sanity. 50 years from now I will still think kindly of you and that is a promise. I know that this site is basically a game but it is so much more than that to me. Have a pleasant night or day, depending on when you are reading this.

Drunk Calculator!!
Body: JUST FOUND THIS. APPARENTLY ACCORDING TO THE MAN MY BLOOD ALCOHOL LEVEL AT THE 0.287. THATS PRETTY KEWL. SAYS I'LL BE ABLE TO DRIVE IN 5 HOURS IF I QUIT DRINKING NOW, AND COMPLETELY SOBER IN 7 HOURS 34 MINUTES. PEACE OUT AND SHIT.-BILL. FIND HOW DRUNK YOU ARE. http://celtickane. com/projects/bac. php

Drunk In The Confession Booth
A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and wanders over to the confessional box. He opens the door, sits down and says nothing. The bewildered priest waits for a few minutes, allowing the drunken man some time to collect his thoughts. Growing impatient, the priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replies: "No use knockin' mate, there's no paper in this one either."

Drunken Observations.
MAYBE IT'S JUST ME, BUT I THINK SCREEN NAMES SHOULD BE MORE TRUTHFUL. IF YOUR 57 QUIT CALLING YOURSELF BABY. IF YOUR FAT QUIT CALLING YOURSELF DIVA. IF YOUR MARRIED WITH 3 KIDS QUIT CALLING YOURSELF PRINCESS. I DUNNO BUT FUCK GET A CLUE!!! IF YOUR A FAT FUCK QUIT GIVING YOURSELF CUTE NAMES LIKE TINKERBELL OR BAMBIE. IF YOU WANT TO CALL YOUR SELF TONS OF FUN, OR MARRIED WITH BAGGAGE GO FOR IT. OLD PEOPLE ARE NOT BABIES, MARRIED CHICKS ARE NOT PRINCESSES, AND ALL THE OTHER CUTE SCREEN NAMES SHOULD JUST STOP. BE HONEST AND GAURANTEED PEOPLE WILL TREAT YOU WITH SOME RESPECT. SAME GOES FOR DUDES. YOUR NOT MIGHTY IF YOUR A FAT FUCKER. YOUR NOT A KING, YOUR NOT A MAD PIMP YOUR A FUCK UP THAT NO ONE LIKES. BE HONEST OR FUCKING GET LOST YOU LYING PIECES OF SHIT!!! THATS MY RANT FOR THE MOMENT. PEACE OUT AND SHIT-BILL.

Drunk Tank #1
THE DRUNK1 ON CAM??? WTF? HE ACTUALLY OWNS ONE OF THOSE THINGS? WELL DAMN, WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT. COME ON INT HE DRUNK TANK, AND LETS ALL WATCH THIS OVERWORKED GUY GET SMASHED AND HOPEFULLY PASS OUT ON CAM!!! lol JUST CLICK THE ROAMING GNOME TO GET INSIDE! ALWAYS REMEMBER, DRINK DRANK DRUNK! fine print: But the greatest love--the love above all loves, Even greater than that of a mother... Is the tender, passionate, undying love, Of one beer drunken slob for another.

Drunken Poem
Awoke this morning on a kitchen floor. It wasn't mine, and my back was sore. Then used a dog for a blanket, not because i'm poor, But because it was warm, and it didn't snore. I'd watched the Steelers with some Penn State whore. I drank too much and although I swore I would quit smoking-I smoked some more. Then driving home I heard a drunken roar. My friend throwing up out the passenger door. so driving quickly, through the streets I tore. His vomit wildly splashing on the clothes he wore. To those who read this, I am quite sure that this poem of mine has become a bore. But it's my recollection A drunken reflection On the eve of election On November four.

The Drunk Stank
The following is my Yahoo conversation with Elle Then after Elle its My yahoo With Kben Elle McFadden: hey Jessa Farris: Apprently i did something if i lost my mods LOL Elle McFadden: everyone has for the moment Jessa Farris: ohh ok Elle McFadden: when i talked to u the other day about workin with the codes n shit i told u we didnt want anything done without us approving it first Elle McFadden: we want the drunk tank profile deleted Jessa Farris: yeah thats what you said: ohh ok .. Jessa Farris: I can delete that Jessa Farris: gimmie two secs Elle McFadden: we appreciate u helpin out but u cant go doin shit without askin us first Jessa Farris: I didnt think it would ya would mind cuz i needed a place i could put all the Name tags im making So they are clouding up my profile Jessa Farris: are = arent Elle McFadden: u can load em n i'll copy them n then u can delete them off urs Jessa Farris: its deleted Elle McFadden: ty Jessa Farris: Np Elle McFadden: as far

Drunk Dad
A drunk dad...loses his 2 daughters ...cause he was too drunk to look after them. I don`t care who you are.....if your so drunk that you cannot remember where your kids are....or even question it, 8 hours later..... you are a piece of crap. those little kids died a horrible death.....cause daddy wanted to get drunk. let him loose....justice will be served.

Drunk Mummers Running Wild
The MuMMers had a party can we say wild ? It didn't take long to find out who the trouble makers were going to be didn't take long to find out who was going to strip either Some just had fun target="_blank"> some drank waaayyy to much He was really bummed they were not anal beads ohh forgot some!! src="http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk2/Hellyion/drunkenmumm.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket">

Drunk
Drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. Well at least not stupid. Drunk seems to be getting pretty easy to live with. A lot of things seem to make me yearn for the painless oblivion of really intense, hardcore drunkenness these days. I have the best job in the known universe, truly. I work with awesome people, wear shorts and flip flops at my leisure, set my own hours, and make pretty damn good money. Yet, everyday when I leave work I face the ridiculous choice of either getting drunk (often on generic, store brand blackberry brandy, or the like) or opening an artery and watching all my worries drain thickly out onto the carpet of my car, filling in the cigarette burns and slowly but steadily staining the door panels a vaguely morbid but curiously soothing crimson hue. Why? Well, in truth, there exists no plausible explanation. Of course there are things I have to deal with. Whining customers and lackadaisical (borderline disrespectful) employees who take advantage of my gen

Drunk Thoughts..
I'm so tired of everyone thinkin they got one up on me. Well I'mma be the one with the last laugh f*ckers. My lawyer thinks he's gonna charge me an arm n a leg for doing absolutely nothing. I got somethin else for that arsehole. I contacted him in September to get started on my case and it's now December 1st. Nothing is done. (If anyone knows of a good personal injury lawyer in Georgia or Florida lemme know.) He doesn't return my phone calls. Then my chiropractor, wow! newhoz..on another note.. When I lived in my hometown I was the quiet girl in school. No one wanted anything to do with me. Now that I'm married and in another state they all want me. How does that work? To late for them, they had their chance to get with me. HAHA. Sometimes I think that it's better for me not to have anything to do with the outside world but for work. Am i right? I don't know maybe it's just my drunken thoughts that are runnin through my head that make me this d*mn crazy. How did my life get this f*cke

Drunk On Christmas
Ingredients: * 3 oz Midori melon liqueur * 2 oz Irish whiskey (Tullamore Dew) * 1 oz Apple schnapps * 4 oz Sweet and sour * Ice cubes * Maraschino cherry Mixing instructions: Mix and shake Irish whiskey, Midori, and Apple Schnapps with ice. Fill whiskey sour glass with ice. Strain mixture over ice in glass. Fill with sweet and sour. Garnish with several free floating Maraschino cherries.

The Drunk Penguin
hey I am looking for tons more members to join the Big Mike's Hot new lounge The Drunk Penguin I am Willing to Make a personalized NSFW Salute for each of the next 100 people to join The Drunk Penguin Lounge and say i sent you in a private message to Big Mike.. here is his link ΤhΣ ßîg ΜîκΣ ™.. Owner of The Drunk Penguin..Fu Owned By >^,,^< Pet

Drunkard
Another lonely night, Another shot of liquor, A hope that it might, End this pain a little quicker. Another thought of love, Another shot of liquor, If push comes to shove, There's this finger I can flicker. Another thought of suicide, Another shot of liquor, Depression and liquor coincide? Never called 'bullshit' quicker. Another picture I've seem, Another tear down my cheek, Another heartbreak unforeseen, Another shot of liquor. One last reminiscing moment, Another shot of rum, One last crying moment, And then I can be done. But before I'm gone, It wont be long, Before you hear, My final song.

Drunken Adorations
Drunken Adorations I hear the crack- See the foam form in the bottle as you press the poison to your lips. I watch your throat flex as you swallow down the beginning of my morbidly erotic fantasy. I watch silently, the bottle becoming more and more shallow. My spirits rise in twisted ways. Slightly lifted at the thought of my forbidden fantasy of you being in my arms. When the alcohol mixes with your blood it creates a whole different person. A person of compassion, softness, affection, false hopes-broken dreams. I try so hard to lock myself in this fairy tale type of reality. Make your kisses last as long as I can. Hear your drunken whispers and promises that I know will never be kept. But they sound so good! So perfect- just like your soft beautiful eyes. You wrap me in a blanket of warm comfort. God! I wish it would last!! Why the fuck do you have to make me feel good? Only to make me feel a million times worse when the daylight shines in and awakes yo

Drunkiness
so i'm kinda drunk right now. exsuze the seeling. spelling even. so today i went to my ffrrrrineds. we had a ilittle bonfire going and i decided to play my frist game of beer pong I WON! woot. anywho, we all wanted somet tacos so we got in the car and left first we went to my house to pick up some tamles to eat then when my friend stopped at the light she didn't completely stop. a cop saw that and pulled us over BOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG cop asked us if we'd been drinking we said no then told my friend to get out of the car. she had to do that breathlizer thingy and she failed hqahhahahahhahahhahahhahahaha she's only 18 like me (she had two beers, i had one) the cop let her go ticket free. we bought are tacos and left hahahahah wht a night. ooooh, i also had two shots another beer and vodka yum.

A Drunk Story...
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: 'I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!' The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans on the table again and says: 'I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!' The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, 'I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!' At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says.................... 'Grandpa....... Go

The Drunk & The Blonde
A drunk is sitting in a bar. There is a very buxom blonde a few seats down from him with breasts size 44DD'S. A fellow at the end of the bar calls for a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It Hits the lady's breasts and spills all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the Beer off of her breasts. This happens a couple more times. The next time, the drunk jumps up and starts to lick Her breasts. She decks him! He's laying on the floor moaning and groaning. 'Why do you let the bartender do it?' 'Because he has. (your gonna love this) A LICKER LICENSE!

Drunkeness
ok so my friend cole is such a dork. he always gets drunk and calls meand whever he gets drunk he wants me to commit to him in some crazy way. iv been asked to move to spain with him to marry him and now im suposed to move in with him. lol tells me im the only girl he can see himself with but i just think hes a crazy cute drunk lmao... hes a sweetypie though and

Drunken Magnetic Poetry
I was drinking at a friend's house last night, and couldn't resist playing with her magnetic poetry, positioned convienietly upon her fridge for my entertainment. :) how you speak brother is vast i have a champagne needle in my cloud squirming over the perfume we come clean in the fire linger as only yesterday may hard men sailng their ocean wake to (an) old fever always never that good day has no home

Drunkin Attention Whore
Just so that NO one gets the pleasure of trying to use this against me (cause some people like to come here just to be a$$holes; get a life much?). YES!!!!!! I can be a drunkin attention whore. Who the f*ck here isn't. Get over yourself there subiedubie, ya aint all that and you sure as hell aren't smart enough to have figured this all out on your own; I had to actually give you lots and lots of clues for you to work it out. Trailer park trash much? Get your emachine on sale at the Kmart..... yeah thought so. LMAO

Drunk Blogging
drunk blooging last night. good thing i didnt post it..but made a new catogory last night as u can tell *points 2da side* how it started: my friend asks me to go out drinkin, i said yes..free drinks lol. than he asks if i can help him get this chick he likes jelouse..who happens2waitress at a strip club. so i went to my 1st strip club last night. got drunk, made her jelouse, & got 2 lap dances..which were pretty intresting lol da stripper kept grabbing my tits & i got my 1st girl kiss...alot of firsts last night..lol hey im not complaining.

Drunk Family Brawl
There was a guy at the desk so i walk out to the front from my office and he was laying out on the desk.. he got off n played it off like he was kidding.. he started talking to me complimenting me and then his brother walked up yelling at him to go to bed. The guy looked old enough to know when bedtime is! Well then this girl started talking to me n she was like so how many days a week do you do this? i was like umm i work full time 40 hours so 5 days.. she asked me "and you're ok with that?" i was like yeah. shes like you dont go to school? i said no. she asked and you're okay with that? haha i was like well yeah i didnt WANT to go to school so OBVIOUSLY im okay with that. Then she asked me did you graduate from highschool?? i said YES... then she walked way.. haha. Thanx bitch. You have a man that pays for everything and you dont do shit but get drunk and act stupid and you're okay with that???? hehe then they all went away.. about an hour later a lady came down to the front stating

Drunks#1
"i have absoloutly no pleasure in the stimulants in which i sometimes so madly indulge.it has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that i have periled life and reputation and reason.it has been the desparate attempt to escape from torturing memories,from a sense of unsupportable lonliness,and a dread of some impending doom" edgar allen poe-1809-1849

Drunks
Tonight I went to meet my friend Laura for her birthday party #1. We were hanging out playing LOTS of pool (i was pissing her off cause i am actually getting pretty good and she is very competitive) when in walks this guy we know named Aaron. Aaron just happens to be the son of the BIG boss of the casino I work at. Super rich guy... but INSANELY nice. Before I knew who he was, I spoke to him and became friends with him.. Well anyway, he got SUPER drunk. We took his keys and called a cab for him. He ended up getting mad at us because we were being "over-protective" and tried to say it was only because of who his dad was and getting really mean about it. The guy who had his keys gave him a deadpan look and said "stop being a spoiled little shit. none of us give a shit who your dad is, we just want you to not kill yourself driving home!" then threw his keys at him and walked off. i stood there in shock while he walked out and got in his car. I am not sure if i should say anythin

Drunk + Depressed=bad Idea
why is it that when you are drunk all you can think about is things you really don't want to? The last 3 serious relationships I have had ended badly and they all moved on before we were even over. One cheated on me and left me for that girl, the next moved on emotionaly, and the third was already talking to the girl he is w/ now when we were still together like 2 or 3 months before we even broke up...even left the same comment on her page and my page on the same exact day. I know I'm not perfect but I try as hard as I can when I am w/ someone. Even now the guys who claim to like me don't actually want to be with me, they just wanna get in my pants. I guess I look easy and slutty, thats all I am. I just want something real. I don't want hook ups or to just have fun, I want someone that will take me flaws and all.

Drunk On His Dick....
The darkened room left me feeling a bit apprehensive....why would I want to meet him on his terms? Silly me....you know the answer why....you're addicted to him....his words have become a drug.Out of the darkness, his hand snakes easily around my wrist, catching me by surprise. A scream escapes before I can stop it. His laughter immediately puts me at ease as he wraps his arms around me as he nibbles gently on my neck. Instantly, I get wet.Struggling to free myself from his arms, the need to touch him increases tenfold. Ripping his shirt up and over his head, My lips stop long enough to graze each nipple. Reaching out and dropping his pants to the floor, my fingers teasing his hardened dick....sliding up the entire length before letting it go.His hands tear at the buttons of my shirt, Pop...pop...two go missing on the floor LOL. His hands reach out and struggle with my pants. He managed to finally pull them down past my hips, lifting me up and onto his swollen dick at the same time.Gri

Drunken Principal In A Hit And Run?
Yep - the 39 year old principal in the local high school was charged with hitting a pedestrian, leaving the scene, and - then being charged with DWI last weekend. The newspaper did not say that he was quitting/being fired, only that he remains commited to providing a good learning environment for the kids. What a train wreck.

Drunk Story Time
The best thing about hanging out with drunk people? The stories. There is nothing better than listening to the most boring story in the world, told by two different people, at two different parts of the story. Its like reading one of those choose you own adventure books but you're reading all the differenty outcomes at the same time.

A Drunk Guy Fucks His Sis On The Table
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Drunken Chicks At Nasty Party
Hot 18 ears old girls Jurassic Cock, Real Ex Girlfriends, Pimp... Young teens hook up with dirty old men Girls give deepthroat blowjob Incredible horny slut taking the cock deeper Face fucked with a hard cock and penetrated Giant cock start the war Stripper pole mommy honey west Real ex-girlfriends A lot more sexual than the college coeds

Drunk And Wild Teen Babes Fucked In The Night Club
Hot 18 ears old girls Jurassic Cock, Real Ex Girlfriends, Pimp... Young teens hook up with dirty old men Girls give deepthroat blowjob Incredible horny slut taking the cock deeper Face fucked with a hard cock and penetrated Giant cock start the war Stripper pole mommy honey west Real ex-girlfriends A lot more sexual than the college coeds

Drunk Son Makes His Ma Suck His Cock
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Drunk Pretty Babes Hunting For Strippers Dick
Real Live Farm Sex! Jurassic Cock, Real Ex Girlfriends, Pimp... Hollywood VIPs Bare All! Hot 18 ears old girls Real Live Farm Sex! 100% Real Milf Submissions Real Live Farm Sex! Cheating gfs - everything 100% real! Hollywoo

Drunk Babe Gets Screwed By Her Big Bro
Real Live Farm Sex! Jurassic Cock, Real Ex Girlfriends, Pimp... Hollywood VIPs Bare All! Hot 18 ears old girls Real Live Farm Sex! 100% Real Milf Submissions Real Live Farm Sex! Cheating gfs - everything 100% real! Hollywoo

Drunk Babe Is Made To Suck Two Cocks
Real Live Farm Sex! Jurassic Cock, Real Ex Girlfriends, Pimp... Hollywood VIPs Bare All! Hot 18 ears old girls Real Live Farm Sex! 100% Real Milf Submissions Real Live Farm Sex! Cheating gfs - everything 100% real! Hollywoo

Drunken Amish Driving! Lmao
Police in central Pennsylvania arrested an Amish man on drunk driving charges over the weekend after he was found asleep in his moving buggy. Police said a 22-year-old man was slumped over and asleep in a slow-moving buggy on Sunday night. An off-duty officer from nearby reported seeing the horse pulling the buggy at a walking pace as it straddled the center line. Police said a breathalyzer test snowed the man's blood-alcohol content was 0.18, more than twice the 0.08 legal limit for drivers.

The Drunken Bastard Tavern And Inne (role-play Lounge) Rules
Lounge RulesThis is an RP (Role-Play) Lounge1 - Do not come into the lounge to cause drama or bullshit - i.e. coming in ranting and raving about shit that has nothing to do with anything going on in RP, or coming in to bitch people out. Unless it is SPECIFICALLY part of a StoryLine you are involved in with another character, etc. Do not cause trouble for the sole purpose of causing trouble.2 - As stated, this is an RP lounge, so no OOC chatter in the room unless it's important - i.e. ((BRB)). Keep OOC chatter to shoutboxes, private messages, or e-mails.3 - If you do not know how to RP, or haven't quite got the concept, there is a dropdown box to the right which explains. If you are still confused, send me (Terran Nytefyer) a private message, or hit my shoutbox. I will be more than happy to help. We were all 'newbies' once.4 - No typing in ALL CAPS! All Caps for a word or two, here and there, for emphasis, is quite fine and understandable. It's even acceptable for you to use All

The Drunken Bastard Tavern And Inne Description (for The Rp Lounge)
Situated in the town of Rhys (an odd town magicked to be invisible to those who don't know how to find it), sits The Drunken Bastard. A fairly medium-sized Tavern and Inne.It's a beautiful Tavern, with two large windows on either side of the entrance double-doors. Upon entering, one would see a large room (seemingly bigger in here than it looks from outide). The floor is hardwood. Scattered intermittantly throughout the Tavern, are several round and square mohogany tables, with a couple of chairs at each.At the far wall of the Tavern, directly across from the entrance doors, sits the bar. It stretches almost from one side of the Tavern to the other. Made of Elven cherrywood, and magicked to never dull, with several runes of protection carved beautifully along the front of it. Several small crystal bowls line the bartop at intervals, to be filled with whatever snacks are on hand, and several cherrywood stools line the front of the bar.Behind the bar hangs a large, beautifully orn

Drunken Drive Thru
I am drunkerededed, so hence the big fuckin font! McDonalds sucks ass, they would not take plastic for drunken munchies! Bastids! why does one need cash only, at 2 am for a god damned burger and fries??? assholes as you fucking were!

Drunken Moment
Midnight is the passion that makes the savage from under our deepest mist of souls strive to make perfect love. Is there such a thing as that? Upon the morning light does the one still clinging on to your heart reminds you of the moments of breathe and shaking from the dawn? Prancing away with the dreams of a future but mildly forgot the name. Tis the soul still alive if the meaning has passed away, or if the meaning was ever around in the first place? The smells of death cooking and fresh java, at least the mildly forgotten name wants to make sure you are fed. Off to wet your body as the pounding head reminds you of the vodka. You wonder if the soul is still around, in a slight prayer of no..To your surprise they are and wanting to "talk". As you hurry to cloth your semi naked flesh, changing the subject at hand, luckily you are saved by the bel. As your friend calls wondering what you were thinking? Trying to be polite and many excuses running through your mind, you ask the mildl

The Drunk Eskimo Makes The Headlines Again
The Drunk Eskimo Shatters Masturbation World Record! Share It's official, The Drunk Eskimo is the new king of masturbation. In a stunning feat of endurance and determination, The Drunk Eskimo achieved 36 orgasms in a 24 hour period! Sleeping intermittently during the 24 hour marathon, The Drunk Eskimo remained focused and aroused by his impressive library of pornographic films. With over 400 films in his library and 3 televisions playing movies at all times, he had a continuous stream of footage to aid him in his quest. It is apparent by the massive development of the muscles in his forearm that The Drunk Eskimo is not your average masturbator. In an interview with UJ reporters after the record setting event, The Drunk Eskimo was quoted as saying, "masturbation for me is a way of life. I've been training for this day since I was 13 years old and I'm happy with my performance today". This record was formerly held by German Student, Hans Blickstein who achieved 27 orgasms in a 24 hour pe

Drunk Drivers
When I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back, the boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'' The little boy turned to the old woman next to him, ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' She replied, ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it

Drunk A Poem By Ian Uriel Girdley
I used to think it was a genie bottle, whose contents lifted my head into a dreamy world of clouds, buzz is a good word for the tingling lack of sensation, my head falls back on its own, it flutters, like my head was in love, this would have been my first wish. I could not remember to make the other two. This was the deceptive ecstasy of ambrosia, and we did not know words yet like dry heaves, rotgut, and brown bottle flu, black-outs were entertaining, not accountable for anything forgotten, forgetting my second wish was not to feel shame. I then did not know the devil's trickery, that demons look like genies and can make you feel good, but possession is the whole of the law, and the bad will always follow once they have you, when there are no excuses, just a disease. Black-outs mean that you are alone, and loneliness means that you are the drink, and drinking means the demons have you, yet you are compelled to possess their possession, because you still remember

A Drunkards Dream
Jesus, golf, architecture, Four, and Fubar! My Kids. Ashley Daly Emotional Intelligence Mike Daly Pure fuckin Genius They inherited my love of words They are my greatest teachers Friday the thirteenth in Fu..... Recently I found myself standing right smack in the middle of life with my pants down. I enjoyed it so much that I just stayed there. As darkness descended upon the land of Fu, I ran to hide in a cave just outside of Fu. Although I was by myself in the cave, I felt a presence. Then from the darkness came a voice like that of a female. "You are not alone." " What the Fuck? Where in the hell are you?" I yelled. She continued " I see that you are troubled." "Roight." I said. " What the fuck you got spirit girl, Night Goggles?" She whispered" I seeth not with mine eyes nor heareth with my ears but with my heart alone do I see and hear." "Suurre ya do" I mocked. "Ha! Ha! Sumtimes I like to talk out my ass." "I've seen and heard that." said the spirit g

The Drunk Poem
The Drunk PoemStarkle, starkle, little twinkWho the hell are you I thinkI'm not under what you callthe alcofluence of incoholI'm just a little slort of sheepI'm not drunk like thinkle peepi don't know who is me yetbut the drunker I stand here the longer I Get.So give me one more fink to dill my cup'cause I get all day sober to sunday up

Drury Scores Twice For Sabres
UNIONDALE, N.Y. (AP) - Chris Drury has a knack for scoring big goals. "For whatever reason, pucks seem to find people like Chris," Buffalo coach Lindy Ruff said after Drury scored twice to help the top-seeded Sabres beat the New York Islanders 4-2 on Wednesday night for a 3-1 lead in the first-round series. Thomas Vanek and Jason Pominville also scored, and Ryan Miller made 24 saves in his second straight victory on Long Island. The win moved the NHL regular-season champions into position to end the series Friday night in Buffalo. "We feel pretty good, but know there's still a long way to go," said Drury, the former Little League baseball star who has two game-winning goals in the series and 14 in 102 career playoff games. Jason Blake and Mike Sillinger scored for the Islanders, and Rick DiPietro stopped 27 shots in his third start since returning from a concussion. "We have to come out and play a great game Friday night." DiPietro said. "They're a great team and they're

Dru's Night Out
Druccee walks to the bar at 6th and Main..a biker club where she knows she will not attract much attention. She is needing to release some tension and feed. Shooting Tequila, and chasing it with water...hmmm she thinks something a bit thicker would be a good chaser. Thicker and stickier ...she laughs thinking of all the possibilities. She is wearing her shortest leather skirt with a very see through black top. no bra..or panties for her..too confining. Grabbing a pool que, she walks over and challenges the table. while waiting for her turn, she downs 2 more shots and has caught quite the buzz. When it is her time to break, she bends over exposing her nicely shaved lips to the boys behind her...looks over her shoulder and laughs at the look in their eyes...(thinking to herself young boys are so easy) without looking back at the balls she breaks and sinks the 8 ball...laying her que on the table..and sitting on the edge, she eyes a young man, asking him if he would like a shot to win th

Dr. Visit
Well, Matt went to the cardiologist (sp??) today to have his tests done. He did the treadmill test and aced that one....then they did a cardiogram (or something to that effect), which was basically an ultrasound of his heart and then did an ultrasound of his kidneys..... of course no one would say what they did or didn't see... but his family dr's office called this afternoon and told him that his renal artery was ok (the dr. originally thought he had a blockage and told him from comparing the ekg's from last year that it looked like he had already had a heart attack), so that was good news, but wants to see him next week to discuss the rest of the tests...... hmmmmmm... seems like if everything was ok, they would have told him that when they told him his renal artery was fine.... now I gotta worry about what is wrong until next week......I have worrying and wondering......keep your fingers crossed!!!

Dr. Visit News
I went Monday to the urologist. I didn't kno that I had to take my MRI/CT Skan films with me-they led me to believe that they had everything..anyway..I sent the films up-they received them about 3 pm Wed and the doctor will b calling sometime today (Thurs) to give me a surgery date which will b within 7 days. I'll b in the hospital 7-10 days so please keep me in your prayers..

Dr Visit Today
I went to the doctor today - 24 weeks and all is good. The baby has as strong heartbeat and definitely a mover according to the doctor. They did a recheck because my pap smear from the last visit came back abnormal. Well she found some cells she wants to examine closer - biopsy but I am 24 weeks and to far along so she is going to wait until after the baby is born before doing it. She isn't concerned but I am. See about 2 years ago I had problems and they thought it was an STD so I got tested and tested and tested. It wasn't and whatever it was went away after two months. I had a biopsy done then too and the results were negative across the board. The doctor said it was stress related as her final diagnosis. Now I am wondering if it is the same thing back again or something new like cancer. Both my grandparents died of cancer as well as my aunt. Needless to say it is now on my mind. Anyway doctor visits are now happening every three weeks and if everything goes well I can g

Dr. Whut...a Shrink.
Dr. Sey Whut is one of my shrinks. Yes, he has his hands full. Dr. Whut is of no relations to Dr. Who. Just want to clarify that. Dr. Whut engages me in many different conversations. He is a nosey feller. But I think most shrinks have to be nosey in their profession. They want to find the root of the problem. I don't have a problem... Often. In a recent conversation, Dr. Whut asked me about my five ex-wives. I thought he was wanting to date them. He assured me he was not interested in dating my ex-wives. Good! I is still a jealous man. Dr. Whut wants to know the reason my wives divorced me. The answer is simple... Who wants to live with a nut twenty four hours a day..? Actually, I blame the failed relationships on me talking in my sleep. Dr. Whut explained it is not uncommon fer folks to talk in their sleep. Why did my wives take exception with my sleep talking..? I dunno exactly... I reckon it could be I was talking about all my girlfriends in my sleep and my wives didn't

Dr. Who?
Dr. Who? by Ed0613© Tom Simms, my friend and family doctor was washing his hands when he said, "Well Ed, it looks like the only thing wrong with you is that your prostate is a little enlarged. That's why you have to get up to pee so often during the night." "But I'm only 47 years old. How could that happen?" "It happens to most men although usually at a little older age. I know you got divorced last year, are you getting any sex?" "Not really. That finger you stuck up my ass is the most intimate thing I've done in almost two years." "I've got one patient that likes that. Anyway, that may have nothing to do with your problem but just to be on the safe side and remove all doubt, I am going to refer you to a new, fresh out of school urologist, Lee Warner. Lee is very thorough." Tom's office manager made an appointment with Dr. Warner for 9 A. M. the following Monday. She gave me a funny little smile when she said, "I know Dr. Warner will take good care of you." I

Dr. Who Fic *lemon*
This was written by a good friend, Dillochan. I'm just stealing it to share with my FuFriends. :) _________________________________________________ The TRADIS had come to a rest just on the borders of a newly forming nebula. Rose wasn’t sure why the Doctor had asked it to go there, but she guessed that it had something to do with seeing the stars. Perhaps this is where the star that Reinette had wished to see was born. He had shared some of the details of his journey since disappearing through the mirror over tea later that night. Rose hadn’t pushed him for more than he was willing to give. She suspected that he wanted to talk to someone that understood, at least a little, what all those years of waiting for his chance to get back in the TARDIS had meant to him. Three pots of tea later and she had most of the details. Mickey had sat quietly through most of it. He kept glowering at Rose though. Ever since that kiss he hadn’t smiled. Well, he’s a grown up, he needs to act li

Dr Who Children In Need Special - Behind The Scenes Promo Pic
Doctor Who Online has on its site a behind the scenes promo pic for the forthcoming Children in Need 'Who' special. The latest picture, shows Peter Davison (The 5th Doctor) and David Tennant (The 10th Doctor) on board the TARDIS set, standing in front of the TARDIS console. You can see a larger version of the image by CLICKING HERE. Time Crash can be seen on Friday 16th November 2007, as part of the Children in Need evening.

Dr Who: Voyage Of The Damned Teaser Trailer
BBC One screened on Saturday a short, 10-second teaser trailer for the forthcoming Christmas special Voyage of the Damned (except for viewers in Scotland, who had their own trailers). The short series of three clips showed first the Doctor, then Astrid and then a special effects shot of the Titanic itself. The clip is available to view on the official BBC website (behind door 8 of the advent calendar). If you are in the United Kingdom you can also see the trailer on the official BBC YouTube channel. A two minute trailer for Voyage of the Damned is also being shown in UK cinemas. Reported at The Doctor Who News Page.

Dr Who: Voyage Of The Damned Trailer Online
The BBC's Doctor Who website has released a new trailer for the upcoming Christmas special, "Voyage of the Damned". It can be viewed by clicking on "14" in the site's Advent(ure) Calendar. UK viewers can also see the trailer on the BBC's YouTube page.

Dry
I Only a heartbeat at a time Only a breath from death Only a soft bamboo windchime Carried on the sky's breath II One wants love one needs to be kissed One craves human propinquity Lest the point of it all be missed One who is one is me III At the end now they are alone Pickled and fit to die Soon they will be gone who have known So well to live a lie IV My upbringing was a warning The worthless feel most worth I must get up in the morning And go and save the earth V The lavender ribbon she wore A cloth of gingham check Was like some fruit a lotus bore Delicious on her neck VI Only a stubborn stunted star On a very dark night I never meant to come this far But I still have my light

Dry And Lonely
I have left myself go dry, lonely and empty searching for myself, looking down every road. i have tried to fall in love, shattered and miserable wanting more, left me here alone. i have friends who try to keep me in line, maybe too straight of a line, i falter and struggle with out them knowing. it could be my fault it happens, a dark place in my head where i go, no lights to show me the way, maybe i am there already, is it time for a new journey, have i come to a full circle maybe i am wandering, lost and scared in the dark, looking for my saviour to rescue me i have asked for help, in the dark where there is no one, not ridiculed for me bein me if you are not with me, i dont want you to be, i have all i need if you dont like that the door is there

Dry Cleaner Drone Delivers Clothes To Customers
NBC PhiladelphiaJuly 9, 2013 A freshly laundered shirt, covered in plastic, flaps in the wind as it takes flight from in front of Manayunk Cleaners. It wasn’t picked up by a breeze, though, rather a remote-controlled drone, which ferries the shirt across the sky on a delivery run to a nearby customer. “I’m all about technology and I see a lot of these cleaners, it’s so old school. You come in…and you just pick it up. I needed to spice things up,” says Manayunk Cleaners owner Harout Vartanian. Read More Related Articles US drone war delivers results, but at what price? Drone to go jogging with you Oregon Company to Sell Drone Defense Technology to Public Police Use Drone to Catch Suspect Unmanned drone buzzes French police car This article was posted: Tuesday, July 9, 2013 at 11:08 am Tags: domestic news,&nb

Dryer Lent...
she use to be my lover,she use to be my friend... i thought she was gone for good ,but now she's back again... the good times were great,but the bad left evil feelings and heartache... if i wasnt such a romantis hopeful i'd give her what she deserves another mouthful...(hehe)

Dryer Died-it's A Good Thing
Our dryer has been on its last legs for a while and finally died about a month and a half ago. Since hubby's salary has been cut by 20% and his job is iffy we havent replaced it. I've been using a drying rack and an outdoor clothesline. Ut oh. I've discovered that I like carrying the clothes outside. It's a little exercise that gets me off my ass, the clothes smell great, and my electric bill has gone down about $100.

Drying And Storing Herbs
Here are a few tips for storing your fresh herbs through next winter. Make sure you plant enough to do so! Herbs can be dried in the oven, microwave, flower press, or by hanging. Herbs can also be frozen for later use. For all methods, harvest your herbs in the morning, after the dew has dried on the leaves, or in the early evening. The highest concentration of flavor in the herbs usually occurs just before they flower. That is the best time to harvest them for drying. To gather seeds (such as caraway, fennel, dill, sesame, etc.) you can see the seed forming as the seed heads fade. Watch as the seeds turn green and pick the stalks just as the seeds start to turn brown. Waiting too long will cause them to fall off as they dry. Hang stalks upside down inside a brown paper bag, which is tied shut with the seed heads inside. The seeds will fall into the bag. Oven Drying: Set your oven at its lowest temperature. Arrange your herbs in a single layer on a wire rack

Drying Your Tears
Drying Your Tears Tear drops fall from your blue eyes and my heart stops a beat at their sight. I pull you close to me, try to take the pain from you, make it my own. My cheek lays against yours and your tears burn my face as I whisper, "Darling, it will be all right." My tears blend with your own, your pain now mine, and our tears become one as they fall in rivers on the sheets. I dry your tears with kisses, soft upon your face, shelter you from pain in the recesses of my love. Our bed becomes a chalice and we drink in each others sorrow, finding salvation in each other's arms; pain washed away giving rise to passion 'till we forget there ever were tears.

Drying The Tears
It is time to dry the tears, time to move forward. New doors have opened, new challenges. I must dry the tears and let go of the past, for tomorrow is a new day. I will smile and i will laugh, it is time to dry the tears. You have been there through it all, never once giving up on me. You never turned your back, you were always there reaching out, and i can never thank you enough. I will always be thankful that i had you in my life. I was a complete stranger but still you took the time to care. It is time to dry the tears. You have walked beside me and always picking me up. I stumbled and fell you never let me give up and you kept pushing me forward. Now my friend it is time to dry the tears. It is through the hard times that i am who i am today. My friend i will always be greatful for the friendship we have, it will always be special. It means so much to me that you are a part of my life, and i pray that it never ends. It is time to dry the tears

Drying Your Tears
Drying Your Tears by Ruth Kephart Tear drops fall from your blue eyes and my heart stops a beat at their sight. I pull you close to me, try to take the pain from you, make it my own. My cheek lays against yours and your tears burn my face as I whisper, "Darling, it will be all right." My tears blend with your own, your pain now mine, and our tears become one as they fall in rivers on the sheets. I dry your tears with kisses, soft upon your face, shelter you from pain in the recesses of my love. Our bed becomes a chalice and we drink in each others sorrow, finding salvation in each other's arms; pain washed away giving rise to passion 'till we forget there ever were tears.

Drying Botanicals
If you grow plants or have access to fresh plants, it's extremely easy-virtually child's play- to dry them yourself. Hang botanicals upside down in small bunches, so that they are not too crowded. Professional herb dryers, resembling horizontal ladders, can be used, or attach bunches to a wire hanger. Allow botanicals to hang in a well-ventilated area away from direct sunlight until dry.

Drying Myself In The Rain
Tired of fear,sick of lies; Tired of nights filled with long, lonesome cries. Sick of hurt,tired of pain; Sick of drying myself in the rain. Afraid of love,scared of letting others see my tears; Afraid to let the world see my fears. Scared of heart-felt talks,afraid to show what is inside; Scared to find that person in whom I can confide. Longing for love,searching for romance; Longing to find someone with whom I'll share that dance. Searching for peace,longing for that smile, Searching for the person who will walk with me that lonely mile. Finding no peace,waiting for my love to find, Finding no answers to ease my mind. Waiting for her,finding nothing too soon, Waiting for the rose of our love to bloom.

Dry Tears
I want to cry dry tears because I never knew that life was worth a second's pain until I fell for you. I want to cry dry tears because I lost my nerve and threw myself in anger into less than I deserved. I want to cry dry tears because you'll never know the way I'm overwhelmed by you and how you don't let go. I want to cry dry tears but now I know what's true . I was scared to say at first, but I'm in love with you.

Dry Tears
The days go by so fast now and yet I wonder why I have left myself open once again to be filled with nothing but pain and hurt. The nights turn to my own worst enemy now when before it was my only comfort from the pain of the day time world. I try and try to let the tears flow to release the hurt that is deep inside of my heart and yet nothing comes from my eyes. I try to feel something for you like I once did before and yet I can't feel anything for you anymore because my tears no longer fall. I was always by your side for everything that you needed at yet I got shoved to the back burner when someone new came along. I was always use to being placed last till you made me feel like I was more than last and better than what I ever thought of myself. I know sit and try to cry tears that refuse to flow because you have done nothing but turned me colder than ice. I sit and wait for you like a puppy waits for his master to come and show it love and affection and yet you

Dry Winter?
FYI, this article was in the Rocky Mountain News the other morning. Sounds like its the Pacific Northwest that is getting the early snow this year. http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drm...745794,00.html Headed up tomorrow anyway. Thank god for manmade snow. Breckenridge opened last weekend and this weekend Vail, Winterpark and Crested Butte joined the mix. Hope for some good weather and think snow!

Dry Your Eyes
In one single moment your whole life can turn ’round I stand there for a minute starin’ straight into the ground Lookin’ to the left slightly, then lookin’ back down World feels like it’s caved in - proper sorry frown Please let me show you where we could only just be, for us I can change and I can grow or we could adjust The wicked thing about us is we always have trust We can even have an open relationship, if you must I look at her she stares almost straight back at me But her eyes glaze over like she’s lookin’ straight through me Then her eyes must have closed for what seems an eternity When they open up she’s lookin’ down at her feet Dry your eyes mate I know it’s hard to take but her mind has been made up There’s plenty more fish in the sea Dry your eyes mate I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts But you’ve got to walk away now It’s over So then I move my hand up from down by my side It’s shakin’, my life is crashin’ before my eyes Turn

Dry Your Eyes
In one single moment your whole life can turn 'round I stand there for a minute starin' straight into the ground Lookin' to the left slightly, then lookin' back down World feels like it's caved in - proper sorry frown Please let me show you where we could only just be, for us I can change and I can grow or we could adjust The wicked thing about us is we always have trust We can even have an open relationship, if you must I look at her she stares almost straight back at me But her eyes glaze over like she's lookin' straight through me Then her eyes must have closed for what seems an eternity When they open up she's lookin' down at her feet Dry your eyes mate I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up There's plenty more fish in the sea Dry your eyes mate I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts But you've got to walk away now It's over So then I move my hand up from down by my side It's shakin', my life is crashin' before my eyes Turn

Dry Your Eyes
Dry Your Eyes Lyrics Mommy just dry your eyes, mommy dont you cry I know we’ve been through hard times and the struggles And I just wanna tell you I love you Verse 1: Only 15 put under pressure First month 27th day, They took away my mother I was left to be raised by my brother Taught to be a hustla Mommy gone gotta stick together Stay strong through the stormy weather Became a top seller Look how we stackin this chedder When you jump mommy life would be better Just like Rihanna, you can stand under my umbrella Hook: You know how to make me better Even when we low on cheddar Even through the stormy weather You hold me down Chorus: Mommy just dry your eyes, mommy don’t you cry I know we’ve been through hard times and the struggles And I just wanna tell you I love you (x2) Verse 2: 17 got a little money Feelin kinda blue Cause it’s lookin you doin 10 to 20 Ridin bein broke aint funny It’s hard bein hungry But imma keep hustlin for my mommy Until

Dry Your Tears
DRY YOUR TEARS -------------- I think often about how it started We layed arm in arm , on the grass under the sun But we both knew their was gonna be that time That is gonna be hard and difficult Because the passion can get lost And i said " Let's fight it and go for it whatever comes, we'll get through it But if butterflies die in your lap That's when the big life question rises "Is our love not that big anymore?" And the fairytale of the prince on the white stallion Is over too soon because the passion has been put on low It hurts but give yourself a new chance Only then your life can shine a little again So dry your tears even if you have so much sorrow you can wheep like me it won't help us Dry your tears eventhough you have so much heartache Life goes on You start all over again There surely is something beautiful laying ahead of you It's dark outside now and quiet I ask myself the question again " is this what i want?" This lasts a thousand tim

Ds
Im not sure why it is but LC only seems to be popular in CA or the Northeast. I would like to meet some local Southern hotties. Don't get me wrong my friends on LC are smoking hot but they mostly live way off. So if your busty and near TN send me a msg....

D/s
A cold wind settled around Roan's pale-white flesh, her body trembling, tied to a tree in the early morning behind her Master's house. It overlooked the ocean, the sun slowly rising over the cliffs. She wriggled as the rough rope cut into her arms wrapped behind her to the tree, getting wet from the sharp pain, knowing her Master would be there soon. Her legs began to get tired standing for nearly an hour, waiting, being punished for coming home late and having been a naughty girl out with her friends. Soon she could hear the leaves crunching under her Master's boots as he approached the yard. The sound of his thick leather boots made her moist, her head fall back against the tree and her heart beat faster. She could almost feel his touch before he arrived.. "Now," her Master's deep voice said, his hand grasping her neck firmly. "Are you going to appologize to your Master for being such a naughty little girl?" "I'm sorry, Master." Roan whimpered, trying to breath through his t

Ds
Close Window From Selected Poems: Summer Knowledge by Delmore Schwartz The Beautiful American Word, Sure The beautiful American word, Sure As I have come into a room, and touch The lamp's button, and the light blooms with such Certainty where the darkness loomed before, As I care for what I do not know, and care Knowing for little she might not have been, And for how little she would be unseen, The intercourse of lives miraculous and dear. Where the light is, and each thing clear, Separate from all others, standing in its place, I drink the time and touch whatever's near, And hope for day when the whole world has that face: For what assures her present every year? In dark accidents the mind's sufficient grace. Copyright © 1959 by Delmore Schwartz. Reprinted by permission of New Directions Publishing Corp. Next Top Sonnet: O City, City To live between terms, to live where death Ha

D/s
Our journeys are diversified, but our paths have led us to experience and learn a great deal of information and knowledge about a lot of the various aspects of the lifestyle. However, it's also important to note that even with all of this experience and knowledge, we're not experts. We don't hold degrees in psychology or human behavior, nor have we written any books or workshops. We did want to share with all of you what tidbits of knowledge and experiences we've seen, read about and gone through so that it may offer a different ideas and approaches of how to maneuver around the major lifestyle obstacles. It's important to note that there's no right or wrong way in handling much of the issues and situations we are going to bring up today. As the caveat goes "your mileage will vary" and some of these ideas may or may not work for you. In the January 19th, 2004 edition of Time Magazine, a journalist interviews a bdsm couple about how they love one another through a D/s, M/s relationship

D/s
At the waist I have you bend While into subspace I gently and firmly send Your sweet sighs of contentment are barely heard You strain to be still as you listen to my every word My voice strong and even, my touch long and light While I do my best to stay just out of your sight The rounded curves of your ass raised and bared In my ropes your hands and feet are snared With you naked and helpless, you are at my mercy When my hands begin to smack your upturned globes, my lips are held together tersely With your mind ablaze and your blood on fire I am overwhelmed with my love for you; you are my soul’s single desire The hard contact of my hands on your ass makes your skin begin to glow red All the while you try to do your best to hear what I have said Our bond is deep, our trust in each other the most it’s ever been You want to feel your release, but you wait for me to tell you when The feelings I have for you are more than I could have ever expected When I met y

D/s 101
Welcome!! The following definitions have been written by me to set the tone for the site. These are MY definitions and I take full responsibility for them. Meaning: This page reflects my views and I do not claim that everyone believes as I do. I did not include bdsm within these definitions as this site's focus is on the psychological part of a d/s relationship and not the physical. This does NOT mean that I do not think bdsm is part of a d/s relationship. I do. D/s: Domination and submission within a relationship. What is it? This is a type of relationship where one partner needs and chooses to submit to the will of another on a level agreed on by both partners. It is about surrendering mind, spirit, heart, and yes....body, but it does not revolve around sex despite what most people would have you believe. Who and What are dominants and submissives? The Dominant: A Dominant is a person with a dominant aspect in their personality who needs and chooses to expand on that

D/s Activities Part One
N. Below are listed several D/s activities. Please rate each of these from 1 to 6:1 = YES!!!2 = Mmmm, I like this3 = Doesn't excite me, but I'd do it for my partner4 = Intriguing, but scary5 = Embarrassed to admit I want this6 = Absolutely not!! 1 __1__ Spanking, by Hand 69 __1__ Hot Wax 2 __1__ Leather Paddle 70 __1__ Fire and Ice 3 __1__ Wooden Paddle 71 __6__ Needles 4 __1__ Belt or Strap 72 __6__ Cutting

D/s Activities Part Three
43 __1__ Indoor Setting 111 __1__ French Maid 44 __1__ Public Setting 112 __6__ Child/Baby Roles 45 __1__ Semi-Public Setting 113 __1__ Slave 46 __1__ Private Setting 114 __1__ Macho 47 __1__ 1 to 3 Hour

D/s Activities Part Four
66 __1__ Water Torture 134 __1__ Voyeurism 67 __1__ Ice 135 __1__ Voyeurism 68 __1__ Oils, Lotions, Spices O. Listed below are 6 parts of the body and 3 categories. Using the following letter codes, rate each as what is acceptable to you: N = Never L = Light ? = Not Sure T = Thuddy

.d's.adulty.ish.survey.
1. How many people have you had sex with in 2007? one 2. Weed, coke, speed, crack, heroin, oxy, acid, x, k, peyote, mushrooms... of these, how many have you done? two 3. Ever been cheated on? duh 4. Ever paid for sex? gross...no 5. Ever been married? yup 6. Ever been divorced? yup 7. If you had to pick one, whats your favorite sexual position? the one that gets me off 8. Do you own any guns? not anymore 9. Ever done more than 30 days in jail? aaaaaaahahahahahaha no 10. Ever been in rehab? no huh 11. Have you ever had any sexual experiences with the same sex? yup 12. Ever have sex with anyone that you met on myspace? met? no. knew previously. yup 13. Truthfully… size matters? fuck yeah it does ... too big is painful and too small is a waste of time

Ds And 38 Appearances. In Six Games Since The All-star Break, He Has Allowed Nine Earn
ARLINGTON, Texas -- The Los Angeles Angels placed reliever Scott Downs on the 15-day disabled list Tuesday because of a strained left shoulder. To take Downs place in the bullpen, the Angels recalled left-hander Hisanori Takahashi from Triple-A Salt Lake City, where he had been optioned Saturday. This season, Downs has matched his career high with nine saves. He also leads the team with 17 holds and 38 appearances. In six games since the All-Star break, he has allowed nine earned runs, raising his ERA to 2.57. Manager Mike Scioscia said he did not believe Downs reduced effectiveness resulted from the injury. "It just came up during his last outing," Scioscia said. "His velocity was where it had been. He was just getting into more hitters counts." In 35 appearances for the Angels this season, Takahashi is 0-2 with a 4.37 ERA. Wholesale NFL Jerseys . Coach Laurent Blanc picked an experimental and attacking lineup, featuring several fringe players. The move soon backfired as I

D's A Shit Talker
yeah this blog is about a certain someone who knows who he is always being a fricken shit talker, hes the biggest shit talker in the world, he jus never stops talkin shit, he never goes a day neverless a minute without talkin shit. he talks more shit then anybody i ever know, he even talks shit about his damn self, he makes me feel bad when i try to be sweet to him, but i luv him anyways n he knows it he's one just ONE of my best friends n ima luv him forever

Dsc Fam Plz Read..
To my dsc family before I post this before I head to work. I'm not being mean or being a bitch. I would appreciate any one and everyone that I added and fanned, please add and fan me back. I'd definetly would appreciate it ilke you would like the favor back, It is very irritating. So please do that thank you.

A Dsc Family Member Needs Leveled
Come on ya'll come help me level a very sweet lady. Also a member of DSC and IBIC. She's trying to reach henchman with 48,000 to go. Hope to see ya there. Canadian/Jason is leveled. ~ஐ~ de ~ஐ~ .:*DSC*:.~ I.B.I.C.~@ fubar

Dsc Family Bombers
I have a friend that needs help on a contest she is in. If you can bomb the hell outta this pic. http://www.fubar.com/viewimage.php?u=813171&albumid=822967&i=1744764210&idx=18 This is for the Owner of Stinkeye Radio and it's lounge.

Dsc/friends & Family - Gary's 1st Happy Hour!!
Is Having His First HAPPY HOUR Wednesday the 17th @ 8pm fu-time! Stop By and Show Him Lots of Love and Lets Get Him To GODFATHER Before His Birthday!! Thats Gangsta - Bun B feat Sean Kingston

D/s Christmas Poem
D/s Christmas Poem 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse; The paddles were hung in the cupboard with care, In hopes that her bottom soon would be bare; The children were nestled at grandma's in bed, While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And mamma in her nightie, and I in my cap, Had just settled down for a long discipline chat, When out of her mouth there arose such a clatter, I sat on the bed as she sassed "Hey what's the matter?" I pulled her across my knee in a flash, Pulled up her nightie to bare her cute ass. Her bottom was white as the new-fallen snow But would soon give way to the luster of a healthy red glow, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a large wooden paddle, to redden her rear, With long hard swings, both lively and quick, She knew in a moment it won't be a picnic. In rapid succession the paddling came, I shouted, and called out

Dsc Members List
This is the DIRTY SOUTH CREW The BEST of the BEST on fu Before any new member is added here, they will have to add, fan and rate the profile of ALL members before them. **If you do not see yourself on this list, please contact me for an explanation** If you don't have either DSC or Dirty South Crew attached to your nickname, I will assume that you have left the crew and you will

D/s Compatibility
In almost any relationship it is important to have or attain some kind of compatibility with one’s partner. If we are very lucky we may just find a natural compatibility with a partner who has the same or similar likes and dislikes as us. This natural compatibility will probably extend to things other than D/s, for example, having similar tastes in music, hobbies, leisure pursuits etc. Now, if one finds a partner as compatible as this we may well describe them as a soulmate, and once found we ought to do our utmost to hang onto them, because they don’t come round very often, if at all! Having a natural instinct for the needs and wants of the other person is not something that is found too often. However I do believe that with some application we can “engineer” a compatibility with our partner through good communication and being attentive to their needs. Of course there must be some compatibility at least to start with, but that can certainly be i

Dsfgd
Filll it out, you know you want tooo. x WHAT DO U THINK OF ME [] I want your number [] Pretty/Cute [] Hottie [] Sexy [] Gorgeous [] Amazingly Beautiful [] I'd take you home in a second [] I'd make out with you right now [] I'd Hit it [] No, I dont like you like that [] I love you [] Wanna hook up? Would you kiss me? [] Hell Yea [] Yes [] No [] Maybe [] already did Would you do me? [] In an instant! [] Yes [] No [] Maybe []you look to sweet to screw [] already did Am I attractive? [] Heck no [] hot as Hell [] Fine [] Cute [] Okay I think ur pretty [] Sexy [] Ugly! Do you think im a virgin? [] Yes [] No [] Don't know Name one thing you would like to do to me... [] ________________________ I look like.. [] A player [] One time thing [] Next bf/gf If you saw me for the first time would you talk to me? [] Yes [] No [] maybe Would you rather.. [] Hook up with me [] Cuddle with me [] Date me [] Marry me [] Friends On a scale of 1-10 (10

Dsfhaha
Argggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...i feel like screaming but i can't. agakdgjaeg dasg adsga ga gaegwe rger gerger gwerg ehger her gaerg arg

D/s Help & Info
I have written this to answer some of the many questions I am asked about D/s, and in my life I have met many people who were interested in D/s, but knew nothing about it. I hope after reading this information you are left with the understanding that the Dom is not only about discipline. He is about love. Also, the sub is not the doormat for the whims of a Dom, but a valuable addition to the Dom's life. D/s is not for all couples. It worked for me and I want to share the information I have learned through years of practice.As you may have noticed this is in book form.I have made 3 attempts to have this published,but alas no takers yet.I do however have all of my faithful blog readers and followers who enjoy my rants,raves and writtings,so I thought I would share this with you.I would appreciate all feedback.I promise not to levy punishment for bad reviews. *wink*ThanksThe Beginner's Guide to Bondage and Domination Disclaimer This is a handbook for people to learn more about a type o

D/s In Bdsm
BDSM encompasses so many diverse activities including, but not limited to: rope bondage , suspension, blindfolding, breast clamping, breast piercing, female genital piercing, spanking, shoe fetish, leather fetish, anal fisting, vaginal fisting, genital clamping, shaving, dildo training, clothespin bondage, mummification, female Domination and dildo exhibitionism. BDSM play does not need to have any D/s (Dominance and submission) component to it. To clarify all your journeys through the BDSM world, let us say that BDSM refers to those activities ? sexual and otherwise ? that are commonly practiced in this lifestyle. No D/s relationship (although most times there is one) is needed to partake in BDSM play; all that is needed is a willing partner with whom you negotiate to create a safe and consensual "scene" ? whether in public or in private. BDSM, as the saying goes, is about "safe, sane and consensual" (SSC) play. D/s, for our purposes, is about relationships, whether l

D*s*i*p Spotlight Auction! (closed)
Some of Da Sweet Irish Princess sexy friends is having a Salute Auction to help her get the spotlight. It will be fubucks only and if you like to auction off a salute to help just shout at me or pm with your pic you would like to use. :) Here are the entry's so far that is helping out and they are ready for bids so come on by and make a bid on them. Click the pic below to get to the salute's

D*s*i*p Spotlight Auction Results & Thank Yous!
We would like to give a big thank you for everyone that help out with Da Sweet Irish Princess Auction so she could get the spotlight it went great below is what we raised from the bling, salutes, 11s auction and D*S*I*P personal auction. Thanks for everyone that join in the auction. Hugs and Love to you all :) SinfulBrat

D/s Is Not Just About Sex
D/s is not primarily about sex or sexual expression, it's about ... ...dynamic power exchange. ...exchanging power. ...mental & emotional needs and wants being fulfilled. The physical part is just a component of that, although a fun one. ...the emotions in both the Dominant and the submissive that can only be fulfilled through honest, open communication which leads to a relationship of Respect, Trust, Understanding, and the ability to satisfy the needs of one's partner in ways "ordinary" people would neither comprehend or accept. ...reaching a deep, erotic place in our individual psyches. It is about a higher, more extreme ecstasy. ...to me, it is a 90% state of mind; choice of lifestyle. The sexual is an added bonus. ...the consensual exchange of power and control between individuals. It does not need sex or rely on sex to exist. ...the sharing, caring, cherishing, freedom and infinite closeness that comes from revealing one's innermost pleasures/fantasies to o

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Tell me where our time went and if it was time well spent just dont let me fall asleep feeling empty again cause i fear i might break and i fear i cant take it tonight ill lie awake feeling empty i can feel the pressure, its getting closer now were better off without you i can feel the pressure, its getting closer now were better off with out you Now that im losing hope and theres nothing else to show for all of the days that we spent carried away from home somethings ill never know and i had to let them go im sitting all alone feeling empty I can feel the pressure, its getting closer now were better off without you I can feel the pressure, its getting closer now were better off without you Something ill never know and i had to let them go somethings illnever know and i had to let them go im sitting all alone feeling empty I can feel the pressure, its getting closer now were better off without you Feel the pressure, its getting closer now yo

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MY HEART IS SHATTERED MY FAITH IS TORN BROKEN PIECES OF ME LIE I FEEL SO WORN I HATE YOU I HOPE YOU DIE EVERYTHING YOU TOLD ME WAS A LIE EVERYTHING YOU SAID WASNT EVEN TRUE OH I FORGOT....FUCKKKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUU Myspace Layouts

Dsl Hell (f_ _ K Verizon)
CAN U BELIEVE VERIZON IS SCREWING ME OVER ON MY DSL ALL BECAUSE I DROPPED THEIR PHONE SERVICE.I KNOW ONE DAY I WILL BE FREE FROM THE OPPRESSION OF BIG BROTHER BUSINESS..WHY IS IT THAT THE ESSENTIAL THINGS WE NEED TO FUNCTION IN OUR SOCIETY TODAY ARE THE HARDEST AND MOST DIFFICULT THINGS TO DEAL WITH..GRRRRR...THEY CHARGE ME AN ARM AND A LEG FOR THEIR SERVICE..BUT I CANNOT GET GOOD CUSTOMER SERVICE.FUCKING VERIZON.JUST WHEN I WAS BEGINGNING TO ENJOY MY PEACE OF MY MIND THEY HAD TO GO DO THIS...FUCKERS..I WISH I CAN DROP A BOMB ON THEIR CORPORATE OFFICE. NO HIGH SPEED CONNECTION..NO PHONE..TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE THEIR ONE COMPETITION IN MY STATE IS AS BAD AS THEY ARE...I'M..SCREWED. GRRR..FUCK VERIZON........BLOODY MISERABLE COMPANY!