Since the BF don't know about me having a profile on this site, I feel safe posting this. Unlike my Myspace account, he can't get access to this (he don't know shit about computers; except how to navigate Myspace) I just need to vent...please bear with me....
Buddy and I have been dating/living together since March '06...We met at a bar, of all places, with several things in common, which I don't want to enclose. Anyways, things went fine for awhile. Actually, things were great! Then on Oct., he started drinking heavily, going out all the time and leaving me at home. In Dec., one of his co-workers intoduced him to Crack. We battled that together for 2 months. I finnaly was able to get him to stop. If any of you know, crack is a hard habit to break, but when you really care for someone, it can be broken. He hasn't touched it since March. Thank goodness! It took me leaving for three days and a lot of arguing. It was rough and there are times I think he still messes with it (it's all in my head, hopefully) But the drinking is the worst of it. He is an alcoholic. His dad was one too. He trys to fight it and can go many, many days without it. He can even stop after one or two. But he gets these kicks...when he wants to go to the bar and get shit faced (about once a week) and I go with him, only cause I want to see friends and get out of the house. I sip at my beer and watch him dring 4 to my one. Roll my eyes and tell myself "Here we go again" He can be a happy drunk most of the time, but he hasn't learned to slow down once he gets that slight buzz...He continues to pour it down him like there won't be any left or like someones gonna drink it all before he can. Then he becomes the annoying, obnoxious drunk. Getting loud. You know what I mean. He thinks he's having fun, but does not seem to care that I'm sitting there, bored, tired, and ready to go home. I asked him this morning why we can't just go out as a couple and leave somewhat sober, instead of me being totaly sober and pissy and him falling down drunk. His response....I love you...What the hell??? The reason I am writing this is because of what happened last night. John Anderson concert. All our friends were there. My birthday is this comming Wed. and this is supposed to be my birthday present from him. He got drunk at Jackpot Saloon before the concert! About 4 songs into the opening band, we are dancing and I ask him, "Are you alredy drunk?" He says this..."Let this be my night, when do I ever get a chance to have fun?..." Then starts singing loudly in my ear...the words comming out of his mouth were the wrong words...Well, the night progresses, as does his drunkiness...concert is over and the after party is across the parking lot at Club Rodeo. We are walking over there and I ask him if he wanted to go home. "NO" he yells as he continuosly bumps into every car in the parking lot trying to walk. I grab his hand and he's trying to drag me with him! If a cop would have seen him, he'd be in jail right now. Anyways, we do the club rodeo thing and go home. At the house, which I got to clean up some stuff, he want ME to undress him and put him to bed...By now I just want to beat the living SHIT out of him...I take his boots off and he passes out on the couch and I go to bed...Does it end there? NO! 20min. later he's screaming for me again, I pretend to be asleep. He makes it to the bathroom...and starts beating on the wall and yelling again for me. He wants the trash can. Why not the toilet? Cause dumbass is sitting on it. I almost took a picture. This is the funny part. Naked as can be, his elbows on his knees. head in his hands and he's got the wobbling thing going on. Trying his damnest not to fall off with the trash can beteen his legs. After I decided against the picture (which, by the way, would have made it on here) I went back to bed. He got done with his stuff and staggered to bed...Started complaing that he was hot. I'm freezing...I turn the air on HIGH and the ceiling fan on HIGH, grab my pillow and another blanket and shut the bedroom door. The couch was so comfortable!!!! He must of woke up freezing, the air and fan were off this morning. Not to mention; when I gave him the morning report of how stupid he was last night, he started kissing ass again...I just pushed him away.....
