Allie's blog: "oh man ffs"

Im bein auctioned off along with alot of other sexy ppl....come show us all some love and own me... i promise im a good slave.... href="http://fubar.com/photo.php?u=1664569&i=203946277&albumid=1088839" target=_blank> why you are there show these ppl some love too.... href="http://fubar.com/photo.php?u=1664569&i=2629285466&albumid=1088839" target=_blank> href="http://fubar.com/photo.php?u=1664569&i=593434953&albumid=1088839" target=_blank> href="http://fubar.com/photo.php?u=1664569&i=721507473&albumid=1088839" target=_blank>

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How come it is you spend sooo long with someone and give them sooo much of you and of what you have and what they want and need only to break up and they become everything you needed for someone else.. then have the fuckin balls to say to you its a different person different relationship....like what that should make me feel better to know.....you should of just fuckin said i wasnt good enough for you to treat that way cuz thats what you said..and to make it even worse shes a lyin fuckin bitch and you know she is ... youve caught her in lies and you have all your friends right up her mother fuckin ass too.....huh..... i didnt know ANY of your friends.....so again i say you should of left me long fuckin be4 you did.. you should of left be4 it even started with us...every dog has their day and yours my dear is comin also and i hope im here to see it.. im just gonna forget i even know you.....forget you were ever part of my and my kids life for so long...forget i even fuckin ever was dumb enough to believe you and all the lies you tell...........so have a wonderful fuckin life

who the hell said moving on would be so easy..... Did you all forget about all the games ppl play with you...and why having ppl play with you in shockin to me is beyond me when if you think about it i allowed someone to play with me for a long ass time.... Anyway im trying so hard to let go of all the hurt and pain i carry with me but i see tonight sitting here i really havent..Little things upset me so much and i hate that about me more then i can say.Why do i find myself sittin here in tears tonight...for no reason other then who the hell knows really?! All i want is to find happiness.... not too much for a girl to ask for... or is it? Believe me i know this needs to come from within me...and at times i think i have found it.... other times like uh now tonight i think what the fuck are you doing girl?!!! Oh how i wish i wasnt at my moms cuz i think i would prolly drink myself into a coma tonight if i wasnt... but i am so drinking is out

I am so done with all your lies.. You know the ones you claim you dont tell... And piss me off and i can list them all The more i think about it the more i know this is all bullshit...to even try to be friends with you..was never just friends but you will never be man enuff to admit that at all.You will keep going on lying about me to everyone and sad part is they will all believe your bullshit you tell them. I told you yesterday i sat there i seen you in action with other people so now i really know what you are life. YOu have used me for the last time. Take your trip even though you told me NOT MY GF but yet she can post shit all over your page saying she is..and you knwo what if you never talk to me again after this blog too bad... you have no right being pissed off at me for calling you out on your game you play... You have played with me for way too long..You have used me for way to long. When your gfs aren't around allie sure as hell was always good enough for you. But whatever. I can sleep at nite. Im not the one lying to everyone about us. YOU ARE!!!! and you will keep on so have at it..... Thanks for the 9 yrs we were together and more important thanks for keeping me holding on for the last year or so that you have... You sure are a real man....

I have been doing a whole lot of thinking about things the last cpl weeks and made some decisions with my life.... Tomorrow is new years eve... and i decided im gonna live for me...and my kids but for me....im going to start doing things for myself to make me happy...and i really do not care who gets hurt anymore... I am so sick of living in the fear that if i start dating ppl or whatever my best friend wont talk to me anymore...cuz you know what if you really only want to be friends now you should be ok with this and happy for me.. instead of me sitting home alone and lonely...I need to move on with my life...set new plans forth and make new goals and thats how i am starting out the new year... do i want to lose the friendship hell no..... god no i dont but i need to live and love for me..... so for the new year.... im gonna get a damn job.. i dont care what i do i just need to work... im gonna move into my new place and try like hell to make it a home for me and the boys to come see me.... im gonna make this move to Ga work for me one way or another

So its xmas nite....sigh.. this has to be the worse xmas i ever ever had, yet the best... I love my kids ... i have to say i have 3 of the best kids ever.... I learned xmas to my kids is more then what they are getting.. Its about who they love and how much they do love and care about me and everything going on with me.... They put their own wants and needs aside to make sure mom was ok on her first xmas in 19 yrs without them.. This is my first xmas in 20 years that i was alone... Sometimes i kick myself over and over again for moving to Ga and not stayin in Pa but i wasnt strong enough to..I am still not strong enough to be home.. It was nice to be with my brother and his family for the first time for xmas though.. they made me feel so welcome.....even got xmas presents which i wasnt expecting!! I really fuckin miss my kids alot....and i can not wait to see them again.Wish i had the money to take the trip home to see them i really do.. but i will soon and i am gonna go see them soon....sure am..... I do wish and hope you all had a wonderful xmas...

you know you really piss me off.... 1. NO ONE on line knows syn better then i do....so to even think i am dumb enuff to pull that shit is beyond me. why so he can get pissed and never talk to me again..... 2.KARMA baby.... bites ya in the ass everytime... dont sit back and act all fuckin innocent cuz you know damn well you arent.. Im not sayin i was or i wasnt sleepin with him..really i dont give a shit if you were his "gf" you dont need to or deserve to know....what i do or did is none of your buisness or anyone elses... 3.What gives you the right to say the mean things about me that you did? Dont be hating me cuz YOU were stupid enuff to fall for a man who lived 1000 miles away from you and was friends with me... I never called you any of the mean things you have called me..and dont sit there and act like you dont know what i am talkin about cuz we both know you do.... get over yourself cuz shit girl you aint all that.... believe that!!! now to you dude...... I gave you everything i had in me.. I fuckin left nothing for anyone else, and dont know that i ever will love anyone again... the whole concept scares the shit right outta me....i try like hell to stay friends with you....but i am learning its harder and harder each day.... i wont even get into why cuz i believe you know......so imma back away some..... let ya do your thing.. but remember your words syn and again i say KARMA!!! Life gives us no promises.. dont knwo where ill be tomorrow ....dont know where your gonna be... maybe in time things will work out. but i am not sittin back and waiting for you to make up your mind.... i can sit back and know i gave it my all.... gave it more then 100%....so when i sleep at nite i sleep knowin this isnt and wasnt my mess...........you do your thing..whatever it is you need to be doing....but remember what i said... never again!!! we will never be again... i will never open myself up to be hurt again... never...... i guess we all make choices in life...some good some bad and we all have to live with them...so live with yours!!!!