Poemsnotperverts's blog: "DAY TO DAY BLOG"

WORDS.

Words are powerful. They can hurt. They can heal. They can inspire a soul to greatness or keep it from achieving greatness. 

or, they can conceal true intention and meaning if the wrong words are said either by accident or purpose.

Right now, at this moment, there are people saying the wrong words to another person.The words " I love you" are some of the most powerful and most sought-after words in any language. Those three words are most beloved...most cherished..and I'm sorry to say some of the more unsavory and predatory people in this world know that and use those words to hurt or use others. Those three words aren't just words breathed from their lips..they are hooks they throw out to snare and keep their prey and then again to act like invisible anchors to keep them in place for as long as they need. 

If you are with someone and they put you in the position of doing everything while they do nothing or little at all...if you are working while they don't work, you pay all the bills and the rent, you buy the groceries, you make the car payment...you carry all the weight and then some..BEWARE!! The person saying "I love you" to your face is using the wrong words. What they actually mean to say is " I need you" They need you to do all that shit because if you don't they, their responsibilities and their world you carry on your shoulders collapse the moment you shrug off that weight and walk away from it. Predatory people don't love, they need...they need someone to do all the work so they can live comfortably with no worry.To accomplish that they find the correct and strongest "in" ....love...and set the trap. You walk into it, you get caught and they keep you caught with those fucking words "I love you".

Let me tell you the difference between "love" and "need". Love doesnt need. If you are with someone and they aren't strong and standing on their own two feet and willing to carry their own weight they need you for whatever, they don't love you. Love is about respect. It is about being respectful of another person feelings, time, energy, passions, dreams, emotions and life in general. Love is not an obligation. Being in love doesn't mean you should have to pay all a person bills or rent while they don't work or try to work. The way things are supposed to go is each person handles their own business of their own lives and just come together in the middle for emotional bonding and support. You have someone to share life with, laugh with, and care about but that person isn't a bank or a loan company and shouldn't be treated as one. 

Don't be so desperate to hear the words I love you that you fall into the trap of taking on someone else's life and weight to the point it crushes you and stresses you out. If a person puts that kind of weight on you, I don't care what they say, THEY DONT LOVE YOU.PERIOD. END OF STORY. If they did they would do what was right and carry their own damn weight. When you carry too much weight and it takes all your energy and focus to keep up with it you have no time for yourself. Your own dreams and passions get ignored and pushed into shadows, and trust me, that's a crime onto itself...to see a person dreams turn into dust just because some selfish asshole/bitch decided they wanted to take a lifelong vacation at another souls expense and never return the favor. You only have one life. You only have so much time in that life...MAKE IT COUNT!!!! Go for the respectful love..the love that allows you and encourages you to be free..happy...joyful. Let go of the "I need you " love, it's killing you and you know it. If you have some leech asshole sucking you dry let them go and don't worry about them..they are adults they need to learn to stand up on their own sometimes, it's not your job to carry them for life. You are doing them a kindness by making them wake up and be stronger. People who depend on others to live put themselves in bad weak positions that end badly at some point...might as well break the cycle now so they can learn what being strong is all about...or they can leave and go find another host to suck blood off of but it won't be yours and that's what matters. 

Btw reader..the whole " I love you" vs "I need you" thing...that goes for EVERYONE in your life, not just a mate. You can apply that to relatives or friends as well..anyone who puts too much weight on you unfairly and says the wrong words, maybe on purpose, to keep you working and paying their way. Fuck that. Let those people go..you don't need that bullshit in your life. Be your own parachute, not someone else's. If they care enough about themselves they will learn quickly to make their own and stop bumming off yours. 

The whole " love" versus " need thing..it can go deeper into other areas.

A person may "need" to be in love so they won't be alone and feel worthless or to feel like they are worth something. They need someone around so they don't fall apart or they don't trust their own judgment. Maybe its because they don't know how to be alone and the idea of being so is scary. When someone needs you in a bad way..when they vines that bind bind too tightly it can suffocate the one trying to keep everything balanced. You will know that love that crossed the boundaries into need when you are in a position that if you try to break free or if you try to even get some breathing room the other person most likely will fall apart and there is chaos. Chaos comes from lack of balance, not from balance. If two pillars stand side by side they won't fall but if one leans on the other and doesn't have a strong base then most likely the leaning pillar will fall if the one standing upright shifts. Think about that. 

So now you know what love versus need is. The next time someone says "I love you" ask yourself.."do they?" If they do, celebrate. If not....well...you know what to do or what you should do...move away from that Leaning Tower Of Pisa. Walk away until that pillar knows how to stand. Its not your job to hold them up. 

Im out.