Hmmmm it was interesting!
I decided not to post a review of my year yesterday because I wanted to sleep late today. After last year's posting, I was woke up by telephone calls saying some wack job had sent a friend request to a profile that was downing me. Oh well, she was so sadly mistaken to find that it didn't rattle me as bad as she thought.
All I can say is 2007 found me back on my feet, literally! Both of my vehicles are still broke down in my drive way. In a way it has been good because it's forcing me to ask for help. A quite humbling experience and a great way for me to focus on necessities. Needs vs wants or filling a void in buying things that I really don't need.
I used to be really good about saving money when I was younger. When I was 19 my parents had decided that they could no longer afford for me to go to college in another city so, I was forced to come home. I'm sure you guessed that I had loads of resentments over that. After a semester of being under mom's roof again, it didn't take me long to find a job as an assistant manager of a clothing store, getting an apartment to live my life away from her. Needless to say, my grades suffered and I ended up quitting school and my job when I found a new one that offered job training with tuition assistance.
I started work with in class training for 2 weeks then months of on the hospital floor internship. I loved it and scored second highest in my class. I floated to many different stations and learned many different things. I had hopes of becoming a nurse but, after seeing some things happen on the floors, I decided I liked my job better. I didn't go out too much as I was underage so, I would just bank the money in hopes of going back to school. I had my apartment, a dog, a car and stayed pretty much to myself. Believe it or not, I was extremely shy. I would occassional go on dates but, for the most part, there really wasn't anyone that I dated that just did it for me.
I don't remember exactly how long I had been working at the hospital when the father of an old crush was on my floor. I thought I had recognized the name and one day in he walked. I was speechless. Seriously, I couldn't say a thing when he was standing right in front of me asking which room his dad was in. All I could do was point in the direction of the room.
Over the next couple of days, he would come by the desk and flirt with me. He asked me out on a date and I was speechless yet again but, eventually said yes. I ran home and called my girlfriends telling them, "You won't believe who just asked me out!" swwoooooonnnn!
To make a long story short, we eventually got married. I was so in love with him. OMG! You just don't know. Well, all that changed just 3 short months after we got married and I came back to Houston. It was then that I had found out that my new husband had taken my ATM card and taken my whole life savings and I had two warrants for my arrest for hot checks because I didn't know that I had no money in the bank. To top it all off, I just found out I was pregnant with Thomas.
It took me three days to locate him because he was out working or so I thought. When he answered, I told him how excited I was to be pregnant with our child and I said, "Hey, did you use my pulse card?" His reply made me speechless once again. "Well honey, I'm happy I guess. I just lost my job. I know you don't have any money in the bank and I want a divorce." Just like that...just like that. I was thinking in my head, "Oh no you aren't going to leave me pregnant and penniless!" however what came out of my mouth was, "Oh honey, it's ok. We can work this out. You can get a new job and you can still pitch." Famous last words of a fool. From that point on, I never saved a dime because I knew he would spend it. Not only did he spend it but he would beat me if I didn't have some money around for him to buy more booze.
So, here I am again 19 years later. My parents have passed. My son is now with boozer. My daughter is visiting with her dad. I'm of age but don't go out. I'm working my butt off to save up enough to go to college and while I have two vehicles and my own home, I'm still dating occassionally not finding the one I want to be with. I still feel in some ways like I'm 19. Strange how things have come full circle.
Last night I didn't even have to go anywhere. The party was brought to me so to speak. I was invited to my neighbor's house across the street. We had dinner, dancing and even a live Mariachi band. Whew! They were still partying at 6am but I came home. All of my neighbors are great which is one of the reasons that I have stayed as long as I have. Eventually, I know I will have to leave here to go on whatever mission God has me go on but, for right now, I am sure enjoying the peace of having good friends and neighbors that have been loyal to me no matter what. I'm grateful for what I have and only needed to look within me to realize the void that I used to want to fill buying things that weren't necessary.
And so with that, may you find within you whatever void needed to be filled. May you know the peace and joy I live every day with. May you continue to look at my struggles and how I over came them as a sign of hope for whatever you may be facing. May you grow in love of self, family and friends. May you understand what I have found that no material thing can be bought to fill that which you seek. May you realize that almighty dollar you are chasing will never be enough. May you realize that if you have to steal something from another that it will hurt you more than you ever will know.
It's time to take a stand now. It's time to be an adult and realize this country is ours. It's time to bring in politicians that agree to uphold the American Constitution. It's time to engage in civil disobediance and stop letting people take away your rights with a pen stroke. It's time to say, "I took an oath to uphold the rights set forth in the constitution and not of promote world government." HONOR YOUR OATH!
Refuse the National ID card even if it's your driver's license. If I can't board a plane because I don't have it, then the airline will suffer and is that so bad? And when the media says this country will fall apart if this is done....don't be fooled....it's the Federal Reserve trying to save itself. The Federal Reserve is no more a part of the government then Federal Express! IT is up to US to say we are the masters and you the government are working for us and not your own agenda.
How much longer are you going to allow a bank to be your master? You may have that shiny new car in your driveway. You may have that huge house but who really owns it? THE BANK! Therefore, you are the slave of the bank.
If I think about loosing my house as compared to being a slave, please take my house. I'm still the dominatrix to me and a few awesome subs!
