Chrissy in CT's blog: "Stress......."

Why is it that when your world is falling apart no one ever seems to be around? Friends/family are never able to be reached and god love the friends you do reach... who want to help but are unable to. They at least are supportive and kind and care. Im so tired of fighting with people and trying to figure out my life. I prayed yesterday for the first time in a long time and got a 7 day eviction notice this morning. I wonder sometimes why i try so hard. And let me say this before anyone starts anymore shit here! I WANT NOTHING FROM ANYONE HERE! I am just venting and crying and trying not go insane without anyone to talk to but this goddamn computer. Do i sound cynical, untrusting ...well yeah i have my reasons. My life has been horrific since i came to Texas with one issue after another and im tired. So very tired of waking up each morning to climb another mountain, put out another fire, and generally try to defend myself and my life to the world. Repeating the same issues over and over to this one or that one trying to seek help that isnt there from the state and a million other service organizations. Surgery #3 is looming and i wont have that either...no more insurance...no more job..no more nothing. If it werent for my son, I dunno what i would do. He is the motivation to keep going. Otherwise would just say fuck it! I feel so trapped, no car running to escape this one horse town that i trapped myself in. Christ they dont even have a fucking bus here, no taxi no nothing! Like i said am just venting to let out the steam in my heart and soul that is boiling over like a teapot on the burner on high heat. I asked god to tell me what to do, to please help me find a way to make things better, to help me to help myself and make things better for kyle and me. I get a 7 day eviction as a response. Maybe its his way to tell me i dont belong here. But why do things have to be so difficult? I'm tired.