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Dark Angels represent every bit of pain and suffering that humans have to endure...And I sit here tonite thinking of the creator of the Angels and wondering what sick, depraved sense of humor or madness this God has that He would allow His most beloved of creation to endure such evil on a daily basis
Since the day I accepted Christ, accepted the free gift that is offered, I have paid with my tormented soul for that everlasting and eternal salvation and life with God...Well big effing deal! So I get to live forever because I believe Christ is my Saviour and died for my sins...And it's supposed to be a gift freely given...
Then why the hell do I have to pay for it day after day watching the pain of my family, friends and just the random people that you see on the street or in the news?
From the moment I accepted Christ, for 5 years I did my best to learn, know and live His word...And it's been a non-stop battle against satan, man, evil, what ever the hell you want to call it...Nothing has been right in my life since that day...The more deeply I got involved with my religion the more things went wrong...Then Christians ask, "Why don't people believe?"
Maybe because they see the bullsh*t that it is from the outside looking in...I've lost everything I had in my life because I was always doing the "right thing"...I've watched my kids lives fall apart...One disease after another entry our lives...People dying for no good reason...The drugs...Jail...Prison...And I'm supposed to sit around and tell myself it will all be OK in the end cuz I'm saved?????
Great consolation that is at this point...My dad is dying...He's an aethist...By Chrisian belief he will die and go to hell because he won't accept Christ...But hell that's ok...Cuz I'm going to Heaven...I believe...Right??? I'm supposed to take comfort in a religion, belief, creed...WTF ever that says I'll never see my dad again...I can do that by just dying and nothing happening to me...Why do I have to believe in something that says the same thing?
At this point in my life...I plan out don't believe in a damn thing anymore...Let alone myself...And God is getting to be a dimmer and dimmer light in my life...How am I supposed to be content with an after life that my family will not share? Oh, that's right...I forgot...Heaven is all about worshipping God non stop...Family, husbands, wives, sons, daughters, etc....That will mean nothing becuz in heaven you are the bride of Jesus...Human relationships mean nothing...So I guess it won't matter much who's there or not...Right?
