Angel In Chains's blog: "Rants and Raves"

Seems like by now I would have learned to blow off the crap that happens on this site. Yet I am continually amazed by the ignorance of people who are supposed to be adults. Being on Fubar is all black & white lately. There is no gray area in the middle. Either you "put out" so to speak and have the world at your feet. Or you tell people to buzz off and end up being forgotten. Well, I can honestly say I don't give a rat's ass about the first group. Dealing with people who cop an attitude because I don't have a desire to flash my boobs for them is getting really old. I didn't join this site to satisfy the needs of some jerk who can't find a set of real ones to look at. I can't even count the number of asshats who have called me every name in the book over such petty bullsh*t and I'm not even gonna try.

All I know is that I am the type that adds anyone. I figure everyone deserves a chance. Adding newbies is one of my ways of welcoming them to Fubar. After all, it would be boring on this site if you didn't have some new faces to talk to. What really gets me is that I have more crap with people on here who are higher level, been here a while and have no problem blasting the hell outta someone who treats them with no respect. But lately I been watching a lot of higher levels turning into scammers, users and abusers. It's almost like after they get past a certain level they think they are better than those of us who are still struggling to level. They've forgotten that they used to be the low man on the totem pole. And they've also forgotten that this is supposed to be a social site as well as a game.

Now, I'm not gonna sit here and say I'm planning to delete or all that happy crap. I've tried! Repeatedly I've had my finger on the delete button but I can't bring myself to do it. I enjoy the friends I have made on Fubar but it's times like today when some jerk has to p*ss me off that makes me wonder what the hell happened to the Fubar I knew when I joined the first time around in Aug 2008. Back then people had to work their arses off to level. I can remember sitting here for hours rating one pic at a time. After I deleted that acct and then a few months later came back everything had changed. Auto 11s and Cherry Bombs had been added. But people still rated back then, took the time to say hi, whatever.

Now with the addition of Boomerangs and Famplifiers who needs to rate? Right? Oh, forgot too that when they changed to rating daily on the profiles everyone was more concerned about that DPR. *sigh* And sure I do that as well but I still try to take the time to rate pics and polish bling, yada and yada. But the personal aspect of Fubar just seems to be gone anymore. And yeah...I'm rambling off subject which was orignally the fact that I'm sick of some men thinking that just because you're on Fubar, you are here to flash your boobs. Honestly, when did THAT rule come into effect?? I add a new friend and half the time that's the first thing I get asked, "How can I get permission to see your NSFW?" They don't even get a clue that I don't HAVE any! LMAO!

Oh well. Now that I've babbled on I'll post this...Get the usual view or two...Or comment here and there...But in the end all it will be is me jacking my jaw on the keyboard and trying to get rid of this sh*tty mood I'm in at the moment.

Peace Luvs & Hugs

With everything else that is happening...I've had to finally admit to myself that I have allowed someone to become to damn important to me on this site...I've let myself fall in love with the shadow of a person...Someone who isn't real...Just a face on a screen...Without meaning to...Or even being able to say when it actually happened...All I know is that I looked up one day and realized this person meant more to me than I thought...And now I'm sitting here realizing it's time to let that go...He doesn't know...And he never will from my mouth...There is no point in telling him...For what purpose? All I know is that he loves someone else...I've known that for a long time...And still my traitor heart couldn't say "no" it just kept beating for him...And I've come to the conclusion that I'm not meant to be with him...Or anyone else for that matter...After being single for a year I have yet to go out for a cup of coffee...Let alone on a date...And quite truthfully...I'm not sure I want to...Why lay myself wide open to be hurt again...Maybe there is a God...And this is His way of giving me a vision of hell...To let me live and die alone...Maybe that's the hell there is waiting for me...Eternity sitting in a room alone...With no one...So God is giving me a preview and trying to get me to come back to Him...Who knows? All I know is that my time on this site is coming closer to an end...Staying here is no longer an option...It's just a matter of finding the courage to hit the delete button...And clearing my yahoo of the people I want to leave behind...The ones who have already disappeared except for a name...Time to move on to another site...Where I can be hurt again perhaps...Or just moving from site to site until the day that I can manage to destroy myself in reality instead of in the cyber world

Tired of being the strong one...and never having to have anyone to hold me and tell me things will be ok...tired of having to be the one to support this family by myself...and having an ex who won't do what he promised to help...tired of being the built in maid and chauffer...and having no one else to turn to when i can't be two places at once...tired of everyone else's stress being my stress...and having no one to take just a little bit of mine away...tired of always being the peacemaker...and never having any peace of my own...tired of being alone...tired of staying up until i can't see straight every nite just because i'm avoiding sleeping in my own bed...tired of not having another adult in the house to talk to...turn to and say help me...hold me...love me...tired of pretending that i still don't love my ex even tho i hate what he did...and thinking maybe the time has come to say the hell with it...go back and beg him to come home...even if it means sharing him with another woman...and being miserable for the rest of my life...who am i kidding? there's no one out there for me...

Whoever came up with that saying knew what the hell they were talking about...I'm sitting here with those words pounding in my head tonite...As I think about my daughter looking at me today and reminding me "You didn't leave dad when you found out he cheated, remember?"

Now I can be haunted by the decision as I watch my baby girl, 7 months pregnant, trying to do the right thing...Keeping her baby, planning to raise it, finish high school, and stay with the MFKN asshole that cheated on her while she's pregnant with his baby...

How the hell do you tell her that it's over? Once they've cheated, your relationship is destroyed...It's never gonna be the same...And the baby isn't even here yet...The joy of this baby's birth is marred by the infidelity of a young punk who has no clue what love is...And most likely my daughter doesn't either at her age...But to think that he could do this to my baby girl makes me sick...And to think she is using me as an example of the right decision to make...

My God why the hell did I ever try to make it work? Why did I stay with a man who cheated after 13 yrs? Only to watch my daughter do the same thing later? In my heart I know this will never work...And the pain she is in now makes me want to hurt someone, anyone if only it would take it away...And nothing ever will...That I know without a doubt.

I feel so much at home on Fubar now that I know it is just like MyYearbook...Drama Drama Drama!!!!!

And I am so glad that someone took the time to point out my mistakes! What"s that you might ask? Well, I'm here to tell you?

They were oh so kind to explain to me that being a true friend means F/R/A...get someone to rate all your pics...Then ignore them!

And here I thought that meant being polite and courteous...And taking them time to say good morning...to buy them a drink if they're meter is low...to re-rate...etc etc etc...But apparently that means that I am consider a stalker! Well, BAD ME!!!!

For all those people that are the most awesome of friends...And who continue to "stalk" me on a daily basis...Thank You!!!!! You can stalk my page anytime....

As for the rest...Forgive me for not being a good friend and ignoring you as you have me...I promise to try and do better....And leave you twice the comments! Twice the drinks! And view your page at least 3 times a day or more! Maybe you can call the Fubar police out on me...Or do they have warrants you can serve for "would-be" stalkers??? If so...Send one my way...That would be a first for me! LMAO!!!!!

And as always...Have an awesome day! Peace Hugs Kisses and Loves...To My friends and Haters alike........MUAAAAAAAAAAHZ!!!!!!