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Co-Dependency
Relationships are made into what a person perceives growing up; their parents are what influence’s the type of partner and relationship one will be in. If someone was raised in a family where there was alcoholism, addiction or abuse the risks of codependency are higher. The person will generally find a partner that has some of the issues that one or both of their parents had. “Codependency, by definition, means making the relationship more important to you than you are to yourself, it’s kind of a weird phrase, and it doesn’t sound like its meant as a one sided relationship, however that’s what it is.” (Tessina, 2011) “Simply being in a relationship- even if it’s not ideal- may also be comforting.” (Weltzer, 2011) Wetzler says. “A lot of times, people have low self-esteem and say, ‘I’m no good, no one would want me, and therefore I have to put up with this.’ These negative thoughts are very common, and they have a big impact on why people stay in relationships that may not be good for them.” People who start with the impression that love is sacrificing for my partner and putting up with whatever is dished out are the ones who are deeply stuck in it. A perfect example is Romeo and Juliet, they felt their love for each other was much more than anything in the world, and tragically took their lives to be together forever. You may want to seek counseling if you answer yes to any of the following questions: Is your relationship much more important to you then yourself, what price am I paying to be with this person, or am I the only one putting any energy into this relationship. Can a codependent relationship be saved? Maybe. Marriage or couples counseling may be beneficial, but if your partner has an underlying disease such as alcoholism or addiction they will have to seek help for that problem first and become healthy for both of you. “The willingness to leave is often what sets things straight. They have to get to a point where they have to save themselves by saying ‘I love you, but I have to take care of me.’ (Bochner, 2011)
Bochner. (2011, April 18). http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/signs-of-a-codependent-relationship?page=2. Retrieved from WebMd: http://www.webmd.com
Tessina. (2011, April 29). WebMd. Retrieved from http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/signs-of-a-codependent-relationship: http://www.webmd.com
Weltzer. (2011, April 18). http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/signs-of-a-codependent-relationship. Retrieved from WebMd: http://www.webmd.com
