Boobalicious Paper Doll's blog: "2008"

617pm PST Why does shit have to happen to me? What happened? I wish I could take things back and didn't do what I did. Here is what happened. It's simple, but difficult to talk about it. I'm crying while I type about it because it's one of my therapies. About a year and a half ago, i was approached by a person. I never really considered him a friend, nor lover, nor ex. He was just simply someone I'd known since I was 16 and years later, things happened. From the moment we started hooking up, I had a real bad feeling about what went on. It took me years to face up to it. i don't know what to say about it. So anyway ffwd until now... Guy calls girl. She is sick and doesn't want to go out. She knows she shouldn't go out with this guy. He has a g/f. She isn't interested in him. Mother dislikes guy. Guy dislikes girl's mother. She is stuck no matter what. Lose-lose situation. She decides she's going out. He takes her to his house. They're supposed to hang out. She was still uncomfortable. She asked questions just to be friendly. She asks about the g/f. He replies and says she no good. Asks her to drop questions. She still feels uncomfortable. Did I tell you girl had monthly. Anywho, they hang out. He imposes himself on her. She says, "no! stop!" He still doesn't back off. He keeps going. She keeps saying No! He does not understand. He keeps trying. Girl somewhat gives in but still says no. She starts crying and he does not let go. She tells him she is on her monthly. He does not understand and asks the girl to show him. She has to stoop so low as to show him. She locks herself in bathroom. What's next for her to do? She gets out and heads back to the couch. He confronts her and puts his weight on her. She is still upset and crying. Basically, this is an assault. If you think about it. girl had no choice but to copulate. She then gets out of the house when he goes to the bathroom. In desperation girl leaves and starts running as fast as she can while crying. She has nowhere to turn to. Sad huh? Girl calls friends, they advise her to go to the PD. She does. She has pictures taken. She was asked to identify the guy. Girl's mother never knew what happened to her daughter. As soon as daughter gets home from a long horrifying day, mother calls her daughter a slut. Girl's brother, mother's son, defends girl and says Mother does not know what she is talking about and should take it back. Ffwd to present time. Guy tries to slap girl with lawsuit and says she is libel for slander and defamation. Guy is also slapping lawsuit against girl's mother. Girl had no other choice but to break down and tell her mother, but not all the details of course. Girl could not answer court notice in time. Girl is SOL and at default. Girl is VOC and yet she is constantly harrassed by him. He knows her every move. It's sad folks. Should I keep going? I think it's enough said. He recently tried to call me again and has blown up my cell phone with several text msgs. He also tried to send me an email for an EX PARTE NOTICE for OCTOBER 9. I have been scared to read my email and to read my text messages. I am so distraught. I am the one with the emotional distress, not him. I am the one being harrassed! not him! I have tried to live my life as if nothing happened. Should I have gone to the police to report him even though I never did when i was younger? Keep in mind, we had sex when I was 17. Isn't that wrong? I was still a minor. I never talked about it then. I felt like shit when we had sex. I still felt like it when he would talk down to me via IM. Too bad I don't have my files with me. Otherwise, they'd be my savior. I don't know what else to do. I am confused. I am questioning myself and my actions. Why didn't I talk before? Should I have talked before? Only time will tell. If I'm not back you guys, at least you'll know why! I mean I guess I'm at fault right? Who's to say I'm not. I only screamed at the top of my lungs. I was embarrassed and I couldn't get out of the situation. Let me tell you either way, I was in a lose-lose situation. I know I'm going to have haters reading this, but I'm sure I'm not the only one this has happened to. I mean it could be the same situation without the humiliation I went through, but the feelings and confusion and everything is all the same. Oh and the reason I couldn't get a hold of an attorney is b/c no one would give me the time or place. They all said it was an easy case. Why don't they freaking help? Why didn't they freakin help me when I honestly needed the help and still do. Fuck the system. I'm just another girl who is going to get royally screwed. That's the fucked up part. I've tried to move on since the incident and still hasn't worked. I'm not running away from my problems, though it seems like it. No one's wanted to help this girl out. That's all.... 6:33pm PST