The Most Wanted Outlaw's blog: "Poetry"

Many thoughts i felt over the years,I sometimes wonder if they have a puzzle or something that its trying to show me or prove. but sometime only time tell when many things happen to you or you just see it coming when they could come or maybe not who knows.as i sit here and think in a chair or if im laying in my bed, i wonder why many thoughts and ideas,i could dream about in my head.things i sit and follow and yet i wonder if i should follow or not. but sometimes thoeries are tested and some are proven and some just blown up and started over again.

the long roads and pass i have been down are not the greatest at times i know they will get ruff but when these times got to pick up and move as for a young simple man like i feel if  you fuck up or screw up should atleast get one more chance before you hit the road at times if doesnt feel that you do and feels like goes up in smoke cuz of it and i hate it because things are hardly meant to be broken or crushed but it reality thats life to most people out that say there kinds of things of try to stretch the true from wat it really is and yet i see no difference from either one.

As I walk threw the ashes stumbling as I continue to walk threw and I yet to fall to the ground crying in pain and sorrow and wondering why I must feel this way and what has lead my love life and decisions I made along the way to lead me in a past to ungreatful things. sometimes I wish that it could have been different. I could of choice a different path to my love life better or could of fix mistakes along the way to fix what I have did in the pass. as long days like these you cant fix what u screwed up in the pass and I try to build of it and be strong and move forward. Sometimes it gets hard and tuff but those are chances and toughness u go threw to build yourself to move forward and build a stronger but yet successful on to last as long u have a good well strong relationship that could last forever. As for some people could have dreams of different things or situations that could lead to thinking that the relationship u had was just a sign or telling u something from god but whichever that is there some good luck and high hopefully goals or dreams that just may not be set just yet and could be still out there but until the day I see greatness and high-hopes for myself then I will be keep on looking and hoping for it when the right moment and time that comes right in front of me to know that this time and chance could be much greater then before and build off it to keep strong and stand tall for many years to come with high standards and big smiles and so on.

i wish there was more light out at night because one night i was outside talking and the moon was high in the sky and it was lovely outside and i like it. As I look in the sky many times then I have before I wonder if there is something out there that I have yet to discover and then again maybe one day that special star or someone will find me and I will be happier then I was before and it also might not seem like the tuff decision I made it the pass wont be as hard as they have been threw out these past few years of pain and sorrow I have been threw. To yet see the days of happeniess and all good things come back to me and care me away and show me ways out there and signs that could change the outcome and things I have did in the pass to build and fix along the way. many times I have looked into the sky either its day or night and I cont to sit and think if there many signs or something in the sky that could be pointing me in the right direction or some way to show it or someone to show me that there changes or ways that I could take this and build off it or just sit back and learn more from my pass to not make the mistake I have before but many times I have I am hoping that the day comes it wont happen again and put me down into pain and sorrow once again because it be hard to face and feel what a hole it could get me into or where it will lead me too if I am following the same sky and road once again but the true meaning of life is living and learn so many times that I have hopefully my state of mind and focus will bring me good things that I sit back and wait and one day it come true to see what I have forgot in the pass to take a step forward and move on from there but hopefully soon or one day it will come to me.

by josh snider p.s tell me wat u think???

When the light turn into black just before the dawn. Things have came to my mind on a lovely chilly night like this as I look into the stars. Yet I see my heart into the stars with a special someone next it and there it was all my life and the day I met this lovely beautiful attractive girl I know. As I carry on my walk I realize that why I felt bad that day and felt like I made a bad move because it was trying to worry about being what my god given soul and heart then what it was use for to love a woman and be there for a woman and etc. I wonder if I could apologize now before its too late and make up in some way as a special gift to show how much that girl means to me and prove I am not like the rest and not willing to crave for sex when at times it just happens that way. In many things can happen and fell that way when you don't think it will and everything. But in the end I hope that one day we are together and married. I will look back from this day and carry on.

how many times can i decide what i want to do and at times its a hard diffcult challenge. when you have heart that has been threw hell and back and yet i wonder at times. i could find a good girl that i had in the pass or now that could show me what i have been missing or that passion love that i once had when everything was goin so good until it went upside down. many mix feelings are coming at you and they feel like they eatin you up inside and you dont know what to do or what you want to do when that time comes. hard times when they come out at once when you want to control thn and your anger comes out which leads to frustration and its hard mind set to go threw but in the long run that sometime you have to breath and give yourself time to get it together and go from there.

sometimes i look out there and seem like i always empty or i just havent found it. many times i have felt this way and alot of times i wish there was someone there there honestly would not care about how crazy my shit on my mind is. if there was someone there to hold me or hug me or anything like that when times come along then that could be something special to me. everytime before i speak i feel that maybe it could be something wrong or blown the wrong way where i know someone could be affected by it or hurt by it . but many things i say and about what i express is just basicly coming from me and noone else. im sure that atleast one person can have a someone to go to about these things and may have an answer or something to build off of instead of running other things in mind and less stress you have to put on before the end of the day.

many things i have came into my life and yet there was things i screwed up along the way and many things i could of kept in my life. everyday that goes by me i sit there and think if it was worth trying for or worth dieing for over that little chance i had in my heart or the god gift of shining down on me and telling me some ways that i could change my life or start over.but i know somewhere in my heart and little knowing of the childish things i have done and foolish mistakes i made i know there people who are how there that feel like i do and i know there some people in my life know who they are and know what i have done this time around and many more other times threw out life. *sighs* yet i still want to change my ways many ways then one i have come to mind about it and yet in my heart is makes me feel black hearted and cold inside. those days i come to feel when i know things some of been done long time back and the motivation i need to keep me going everyday many people have lives out there and so do i. in these days to come i feel like 2 sides of me with 2 hearts because half of me tells one story and the other wants to do what i should have done in time when it was needed but in these closing days,weeks and years could be my turning point and therefore tomorrow could be that day to wake up and refresh the thought of motivation and start over again and pick up where the pieces last fell and move on so therefore in time things maybe change and hope for the better along the way.

Sometimes I Feel That Shatter Dreams Lead To Broken Promises that leads to lies. As the nights of each day grows colder and my heart slowly beats it self to keep it moving as i walk into the shadows without the lust of love.I sit there and think that how much of the pass of my love part of my life has been and what i have done to ruin the some parts or it or the thought of how others ruined it for me with the selfishness of drama,bullshit,lies,cheating and the leading of mistrust with it as well.Every night i go to sleep and the times that i do wake up in the middle of the night from my sleep to sit there and think how much of my dreams has been either come true or a walking nightmare that will haunt my ass for a long time until things turn itself around from my point of view and plus the things that will change it to get myself motivated for the long haul for my future and where it may take me by then and so for.