I feel like I should be singing the Britney Spear's Song "Oops I did it again". I can just see the question in your eyes, inquiring as to what it is I have done again. Well as usual it involves my heart and becoming attached to someone.
I think that the "let's just be friends" gene wasn't included in my basic genetic makeup.
You ask me what I mean.... Okay, I'll tell you.
I've met someone online, and we've met in person, and we seem to get along real well. I was trying to keep it strictly friends, friends with benefits, or something like that. But then my heart steps in and tries to take over, and feelings that I was trying to control and keep under wraps, start to emerge. I don't know how to control them, or stop them from growing.
I think of him all the time. Wonder what he's doing and how's doing, if he's thinking of me too. I want to spend time with him, even it it's just cuddling up on the sofa watching movies and drinking tea, or being more intimate. It's not just the intimacy I crave, it's time with him that I want.
But I'm afraid you see.
Afraid of what you ask?
Afraid of getting hurt again....
Afraid of putting my heart on the line. Afraid to say, "hey, I care about you", afraid that he doesn't feel the same. Afraid that finding out that I have feelings for him will sending him running scared. Just flat out afraid.
Should I say something and risk him running scared? Should I say something and risk getting hurt again? Or should I just let things move along as they are an hope that he makes the first move?
So afraid to fall in love....
