LordTool's blog: "Madman rambles on and on.."

So here i am shedding my skin like the snake you are. In my days I wonder how to wonder but than I just wonder. I control this part of me so you cannot enter. I block my eyes from the love you tear away from my hands. I eat the flesh of the weak so I can communicate with the deaf. Though you may not understand it's not your fault. You are rasied dead from the time you were born. Children of the Corn? Nope. Just pain in lust and greed. Another memory washed away with LSD. I open that gate and ramble on like a madman. Wait. I am the Madman to ramble on like the Madman that rambles on to talk about nothing but the weather and sex. Ok. I give. You win.

Filth fills the mind of our children. Still we ignore? Lust fills the mind of the church. Still we adore? What choice do you give our fate? Is our faith no longer something great? Is God a war with Arabs and Jews? With America being Hell's Gates to welcome home the few who choose to be the abuse? I like to think of myself as a kind gentile soul with the mind of a genius. But who am I going to fool? No longer am I LordTool. That was a view set to be used. So take this for what it is. Thoughts filled with confused words that rhyme on the third verb. Can you achive this feat or just drag your feet? I like to know because this is my show. So smile in spite of the fight you give at night. Turn off the reasons you breath and re-adjust your treasons you spit in the face of glory. Do me that favor and taste my death flavor. Just for one moment I had you hooked, take a look into my mind and see that I'm not really fine. There is a line you must draw to be sure to fall and I assume you know this? Now retact your memory of hate and erase your fate (faith) to something great. How about quite the booze thats always going to lose. Stop the powder you shove up your nose to compose your back. Loosen your jaw before it falls to the floor. Adore a Book on Love and stop confusing lust with drugs. Smile just to smile and walk at least a mile. Try it, for a week. Get up on your feet and complete this feat and you will be unique. I promise. My poor lost friends. Open the door that you only have the key to.

Through our long walks and short talks, the conversation always stays the same. Your cold words and my contagious heart, will always be this way. Talking in oceans of circles and loving in swells of seas. Only give this ship one chance, one chance. You never said this would be so hard, but if you fall I'll catch you I'll catch you. This won't change so just go ahead and be that way, and we'll go on, we'll go on. My patience draws this last letter of love so thin. And the first three are fading fast. My touch seems colder than the shoulder you give me. Your warm tears still fear the past. We should just turn this ship about and head home where this all started, where it won't last. You never said this would be so hard. Wear your heart on your sleeve, and don't hide it from me. You always wanted to be the one who said it to me. So just stop playing these games. And for once you will see that I am You and You are Me. This is your last chance to save this. This is your last chance, last chance.

So...let's sum up the lastest fuck-ups of the American government: postal service parcel deliveries will increase in price about 100%, we lost (losing as in NO LONGER KNOWING WHERE THE FUCK IT IS!!!) 12 billion dollars in cash put on an airplane by forklifts headed for Iraq, with all this the lack of effort (2 years to find out where the money went, which is funny because it takes them less then a day for them to find a dissinting immagrint) to find the fucking money. So lets put this into perspective shall we? The postal service increasing the price of parcel delivery won't effect most people since they will probably go to UPS or somthing, but considering that if you want to send a package or long letter to a loved on off-seas because of military or government job (that includes haliburton or any other company on contract for the government) or to a loved one in jail/prison you HAVE TO SEND IT USPS TO GET IT TO THEM, so they are just fucking peachy arn't they? They will get their money no matter what. Or it could be a globalization answer which consiqently is charging more for the service to fix the problem (which makes sense considering that the whole US postal service is at a "I'm fuck" basis right now all over the United States). Now...with the mistiriously lost money headed for Iraq...it seems awefully convenient that the current administration and it's contributors have a vice grip on their balls (not to mention the global warming situation and how much it will effect the motor industry, also that GM is basically fucked since they had to lay off 35,000 employees just to make ends meet...could the oil bullshit have something to do with it? Kinda convinent wouldn't you say?) that 12 billion goes missing? Maybe I'm just cynical but that seems that 2 years to investigate the issue is pretty well timed with the current administrations time limit in office. I'm sure that since congress is democratic controlled now that a republican in office in 2008 will never happen...I'm being an asshole, but we may never find the money, and if we do it will be too late to prosecute the ones at fault...and I'm sure that the american public will forget the whole incident ever occured. The money was probably used as kick-backs to insurgants and corperations as either hush-money or protection to keep the "war" going in Iraq which would give an excuse for the 20,000 troops we will be sending. Then again...I'm just fucking cynical and have no grounds for thinking this do I?...

My memory is at idle. I can hardly remember being a child. My school days are a blur. All I know now is the present. I locked away too much. There must be a reason but I can't remember why. I don't remember being born. My eyes are still closed like a newborn. Where does my time start and stop? Did I do too much drugs are not enough? How is it that I meet a wonderful woman on here that lives so far away? How is it the one that is close don't want to use me? I do know that Nascar is about to start. There is my bliss. Go #20!

So familiar and overwhelmingly warm This one, this form I hold now. Embracing you, this reality here, This one, this form I hold now, so Wide eyed and hopeful. Wide eyed and hopefully wild. We barely remember what came before this precious moment, Choosing to be here right now. Hold on, stay inside... This body holding me, reminding me that I am not alone in This body makes me feel eternal. All this pain is an illusion. Nothing is real...

We as a people need to see what life is and what it has to offer. No longer should we constrain ourselves to the chains of the "normal" socological ideal that doesn't even exist and furthermore isn't even truly followed. Jobs, homes, small-talk, they are all just tools used by man to seem stable and "normal." Without them we would seem "odd." And what's wrong with odd? Odd is okay so long as happiness is linked. "normal" is a painful burden that creates nothing but strife and sorrow. To roam through life pretending to enjoy the pain. No one can say that they arn't frustrated with following the stream of stupid ideals of the financial strains of society. Money is the root of evil and the social currency, not just for goods, but for acceptance. To be "cool" requires money, to be "normal" requires money, to be stable requires money, to be taken seriously requires money. There are no new philosopers, it's all money, without money to pay for college and a home, and a car, no one will ever take you seriously. Humans are numbers now, we aren't people, we are drones carrying on our lives as if we are blind. Happiness as a future goal is seen as stupid, to suffer is to survive through life, the burecratic nessecities for travel and lodging makes it impossible to be free. To be watched and scrutinized for beliefs is the norm of society. Work is getting harder to find for those who live by an honorable code, a code of happiness without the importance of money or acceptance. Life and fufillment has nothing to do with money, has nothing to do with social acceptance, it has everything to do with doing what you think is right and true, it has to do with love and honor and the ability to go to sleep with a smile hoping for the morning instead of dreading it. Living without having to self-medicate to ease the pain and stop the "insane" thoughts of frustration and sorrow concerning how "other people" are stupid and live in a mindless antfarm. We say we are evolution at it's best, but you take a human and a wild dog, who do you think is the happier one, they can sleep anywhere and eat almost anything, we have to have shelter and have the mindset of being better then the next human, which is the only thing we as a people seem to hold sacred anymore. Look at television and all the reality shows that have been flooding the airways, we are more excited and interested in someones else's life and humiliation then taking a look inward and see ourselves as ourselves. No one sees inner beauty anymore, it's all clothes, plastic surgery and mtv. People being celebrated for selling their beliefs and likeness for the highest bidder so more people can get an idea for what they are suppose to be like. There are no guidelines for living no guidelines for being different, no guidelines for being human, we have lost our way as a people, lost our way by denying our emotions and natural beliefs, the natural feeling of honor, honesty, commitment, and loyalty. If there was a god, I'm sure he knows that we are his greatest dissappointment, using war and "expendible" lives for the sole purpose of money. Using a box to control the masses, and it's working, and we are the ones that should look down upon, we are the ones that are odd and different, well I'd rather be spat upon by the "norms" then live my life saying to everyone, especially myself, that this is life and I have to just deal, well I may have nothing and I may be strange and failed at almost every attempt to make something of myself, but with all that, I have found that when I smile its never fake.

The aspect of the human mind is at many times ever-changing. At one point your perspective could be sound and stoic. Then, out of nowhere, some cataclysmic change happens and there you are. You just stand there thinking about what to do, who you are, and what you believe in. Most people just put a band-ad over it and never think about the situation again. Until it bubbles to the surface and then you have to face it anyway. There is no real way of dodging the change or the feeling of alienation when it all goes south. One compromises and at some point even accepts it. The main point most miss is that nothing you do really stays it's course. It changes constantly…sometimes so small that you don't even notice. Then there are the big things that change, and you have to succumb to the fact that your plans never came through. That maybe…just maybe you weren't as safe as you once thought. I've heard it said that God closes one door then opens a window…so you have something to jump out of. It's pretty astute I'll say, because to really do something different you just have to act. You can't just pussy-foot around the topic you have to go out on a limb, because even if you think it's not safe; the safest route may not be as sound as you once thought. At least you could say to yourself that you at least tried. Instead of sitting there confused and depressed about your situation. Frustration in our society is the offspring of safe and conforming lifestyles. Money is comforting for only so long. It's amazing to see that those with the money and the "life" are constantly depressed or just have completely hallow existances. So what is done about it? Mid-life crisis probably, or they just go plain nuts and do drastic "exciting" things that are presumably safe to try to fill the void of the scariest phrase known in the English language: "what if?" If a person where to be hit by a speeding truck, no chance of survival and no chance to get out of the way of danger in time. What do you think their last thought would be? Most wouldn't have the smallest shred of contentment at all. Fear, anxiety, and dissapointment would probably be the feelings I think they would feel. What would they think about? Chances are they will think about the things they should have done, the acts that they really wanted to do but never got a chance to because they "died too soon." Well, not to sound ridiculous but there is no dying too soon. When you go that's it and there is nothing you can do about it. You don't know when it's coming and you can't prepare for it no matter how many insurance plans you have. It will happen and for me that puts a Buddha-like smile across my face. I'm not worried you see because since I know that I will die someday, and I don't know when, I know that I have to act now on what I feel I want or should do. Those particular ideas change almost daily as well. That's the best part though, that's life, you don't have a choice and chances are that no matter what you do it doesn't matter. The world will end, humanity will continuously destroy itself, there will always be drugs, as well as drug addicts, there will always be music you don't like, and there will always be shitty movies, we will always get bored, and we will always find some reason that one thing we like so much is not as great as we thought it would. So why not take everything as if it was the first time. See people as if it was the first time, leave them thinking that you may never see them again, lay everything on the table; because if you don't you might just regret it or may never have another chance to do it. There is only one life we lead…we get one chance. If you are religious and think that there is some magical place we go after we die then that's great, but you can't deny that small bit of doubt. The idea of a completely devoted person on one partiular idea is ridiculous. The human mind is so powerful and so inquisitive that we question everything. I believe most people just over-compensate their beliefs so that way they keep up appearances for their community that does the same damn thing. It's the Salem, MA mindset. You get enough bat-shit crazy puritans together and if a small majority believes some ridiculous idea everyone else must feel it necessary to do the same. Even though the majority feels that the idea is a complete shit idea, they still go along with it just so that they will still be seen as "the in crowd." Everyone wants to be accepted no matter how much lengths they have to go in order to get there. Generally people are afraid of ridicule, which is another reason to go the "safe" route. It's seen as the safe way simply because that is what the majority of society says it is. Even though most people individually will completely say different. So, go to college, marry your sweet-heart, keep the love child, go to church, stay at the job you hate, don't stand up to anyone, watch Mtv, don't read, keep paying attention and admeration to celebrities, quit drinking and doing drugs; though if you do these things and so much more do it because you want to, not because you are "suppose to." And chances are you don't want to do any of it anyway do you? Divorce your wife. Abandon your kids. Quit your job.

Now this is where you will see me at my best. My mind has no limits at this point. I create the orgasm that will make you tremble until the wave washes you ashore. I am God right now. And you can not take this away from me. You will listen and pay attention. You will obey my every word without hesitation. If you fail to obey there will be consequences. And please do not apologize, it only makes it worse. To my point. If there was a reason to care for me would you acknowledge it? Or would you wait around until you felt comfortable in your own skin at the risk of losing? Would you be upset if I died tonight and you never had the chance to speak to me as you want to? Or am I just insane to think that this moral train of thouhgt is even inside you? Now. Me being the person I am, my words conflict and I know this. And I also know that whoever will read this will wonder who this is directed to. This is in no way in a compass. There is no north or south. This is for anyone. And also a little reminder. Never regret. Never feel like you lost. If you are in a shadow get out and step into the light. Some peoples worse drugs are pain. It's addictive and hurts alot and hard to quit. So, if there is someone you have on your mind that you want to tell something to, just do it. Don't regret, because in the end we are all humans and the Sun has no remorse and the moon will always be there hanging. Most of us will be broke and in the need for sex. Masterbate until we hate sex. And than wake up and do it again. LordTool

Life, love, and existance. Where have we gone as a society? I mean have we really changed that much? From Galileo giving his theory about the earth then being put on house arrest by the pope seems quite an injustice and rediculous by today's standards, but are we really that far off? Have our minds really fucking opened that much in the past years? People still are greedy and are even more focused on social stature. Royalty replaced with celebrities, and being fashionable is stiff the fucking same. If you arn't dressed right then you are an outcast, simply put that is how it goes. You can't have a mohawk and walk into a nice bar and expect to be treated the same as everyone else. It's all about social stature for human kind. I am generalizing, and I'm sure there are many more people more open minded these days and more is being written, said, and done. Though keep in mind that there are a lot more people these days and being in America we've just traded torture for jail and forced economic depression. Also, one could argue that I'm just being cynical and that I need to look at the bright part of life these days in America, but you know what? It's not enough, I...We as a people need more. What does our future hold? When my generation finally takes the reigns of this country who is it going to be? Is a tattooed president in the future? Is Capitalism going to end by me doing nothing or shutting up? Who is going to act, ask questions? Or are my peers just going to keep buying shit and drinking in "cool spots" to stay popular in the scene. The human race is amazing and extremely stoic on survival, and the numbers of educated people are up, but there arn't enough numbers and I'm not speaking of school. Simply put, the more religion that is out there the worse it will be, the more greedy "well I need to make as much as possible" additudes will keep us going on the same road as we've been on since our conception. We need new ideas, we need to ask questions, we need to try to evolve as a society and not succumb to popularity or social presentation because it's trite and in the end, at the end of the day...how is having fake friends who think they know you based on how you act at that time (as opposed to how you act alone) or having that new "insert whatever stupid item people have to keep up with the trends here" really going to matter?