LordTool's blog: "Death in a motel"

"Wasted, start it again. Taste it, this feeling is dead. Hasting to see you return. Waiting you've left me to burn. Salt in our kiss. Your honey lips smile back at me. Fate is laughing at me. Your eyes tonight cut me apart. Your heart more golden than the years will never share. I know you don't want to, but I feel this more than you do. I want to see you relieved. I want to see you believe. I just can't go on thinking you just might be suicidal. I want to see you pretend. I want to see you again. I just can't go on living with you as my broken idol. Salt in my wounds, these bends, these swoons. Blood in my tears, tears I've cried for you. Take one last look, remove your hook. Break it off in my heart admit you never cared...... How can you view yourself so very highly. Your pistols pointing at me. So fire at me, tonight we'll see the lights. Your bullets of indecission only fuel my indignation! So fire at me tonight we'll see the lights. I need to hear you say those words. I need to see you cry. I need to hear you say you love me. I need to hear you lie. I'm not here to say goodbye. So just lie one more time, just lie one more time. You tell me you love me, so just lie one more time. Just lie one more time! Just lie! Just lie, JUST LIE!!!!"

Li curerei gradisco il cielo ed il sesso che gradite la guerra.

I have to say, after all that I been through one thing remains the most, my love for writing. So I drop in to say hi and see how you are. You ignore my slow passion and sweep me away. I am no longer one of them, you see I have died. I am not even here, what you see is a thought. HA! So you think you can run right? Remember when you said that you wish I would burn in hell? It happened. I been to hell and now you face something worse. You are broken and can't be fixed. Life will not end for you. After you climb down that White Horse you will see. Drugs won't help. God has turned his head. Jesus was never real and Satan is the Accuser. Rest assured that this is not a dream. So wave that finger, point it and call me names. Scream and yell. There is only pain for you. You have killed and cursed an innocent soul for the sake of guilty pleasures. The soul you cursed was in Love with your heart, which you ripped apart. Never bite the apple. I'm sorry, your God has forsaken you. Goodbye.

What does she want me to be? Does she expect a perfect world? What do you think I am? A Ken Doll? Realize this now. In no way will I ever be a Label Whore. I am not ashamed of who I am. I like my look and my pain is mine not yours. I thrive to be content with the reality of being alone in a world of Gods and semen. Piss ants for Democrats and Confused mothers dying of sorrow born from Marilyn Mansons hate. Face it, we are all born to die. Live to the next extreme. Mine is none of your business. So leave me be. I ask no one for advice on my aches. To understand me is a after thought on abortion. A Catholic priest would not even touch me. Though I have touched a few. I am not your victim and I am not a prey. I am the monkey on your back with the knife to endure the pain you leave behind. I make no sense and than it's perfect sense. So crawl away with pity and the filth you shove down Paris Hiltons mouth. Spit in the face of laughter and real world it to death with MTV. I want no part of your excuse. I can like whatever the fuck I want for my own reasons and for mine alone. I need no T.V. guide or Zine to influence my intrest. I am insecure with my security. I hate for the sake of God and I hate people for the sake of being a human in America's memory. Though don't get me wrong I love this place for reasons beyond the Congresses call. Jesus is a excuse to cause pain. He suffered for us so make them suffer for him right? Well I need no help from a man I never met. Spare me your thoughts on todays morals. When MTV is outlawed I will be President and Islam will be the Overall Religion in the world. Until than, thank you for shopping at Wal-mart, Please cum again.

I'm eating Velvetta Shells! So blah!

Too much time wasted just to say hello So much energy just to whisper goodbye.. A medicated heart and mind Too easliy broken with time A window to open for warm weather A thuderstorm to bring us together Thoughts made from clay It will be okay Another day Shall pass on by like a moth at night in the light Missed and forgotten Another name, another game So many ways to explain But no way to express But what would one expect An outcome of glory and love Nada not happening That's a Disney movie taught in Schools Where its okay to be young and cool Now its bad to be young and smart..... I'm wounded by your eyes.. By your vibe, but I see through you The abuse you bring on yourself The help You refuse Well, Oh, well... Apparently nothing.. Apperantly nothing at all.. You don't see me.. You don't see me... I'm lost..

Attitude is my addiction I live life with no regret Unlike it's my conviction That sets me apart from the rest I live for competition Your cynicism only makes my stronger I am the culmination Setting the Standard that all will follow I live it every day Don't know another way Within my eyes there is devastation an fury You can't understand In my fight Win by attrition I bring it with that I fucking am You never dealt with such rejection Licking your wounds that won't fucking heal You've never seen so much aggression I am the scream to your fucking silence I live it every day Don't know another way Attitude is my addiction I live life with no regret Unlike you it's my affliction That creates the template of all that I am You know I know No matter what you say You'll be beaten today Like every other day Something about you Keeps you from letting go Of lame obsessions Built up inside you Forget the guesswork You're starting at the source Gazing into my eyes You'll see there's no remorse 'cause this is my war All day and every day It's all about the conflict Yeah! Bring on the competition Your pessimism only makes my stronger I am the culmination The fucking Standard that all will follow I live it every day Don't know another way

What does she want me to be? Does she expect a perfect world? What do you think I am? A Ken Doll? Realize this now. In no way will I ever be a Label Whore. I am not ashamed of who I am. I like my look and my pain is mine not yours. I thrive to be content with the reality of being alone in a world of Gods and semen. Piss ants for Democrats and Confused mothers dying of sorrow born from Marilyn Mansons hate. Face it, we are all born to die. Live to the next extreme. Mine is none of your business. So leave me be. I ask no one for advice on my aches. To understand me is a after thought on abortion. A Catholic priest would not even touch me. Though I have touched a few. I am not your victim and I am not a prey. I am the monkey on your back with the knife to endure the pain you leave behind. I make no sense and than it's perfect sense. So crawl away with pity and the filth you shove down Paris Hiltons mouth. Spit in the face of laughter and real world it to death with MTV. I want no part of your excuse. I can like whatever the fuck I want for my own reasons and for mine alone. I need no T.V. guide or Zine to influence my intrest. I am insecure with my security. I hate for the sake of God and I hate people for the sake of being a human in America's memory. Though don't get me wrong I love this place for reasons beyond the Congresses call. Jesus is a excuse to cause pain. He suffered for us so make them suffer for him right? Well I need no help from a man I never met. Spare me your thoughts on todays morals. When MTV is outlawed I will be President and Islam will be the Overall Religion in the world. Until than, thank you for shopping at Wal-mart, Please cum again.

I wake up with the sunrise. Drink my coffee. Maybe this new day will bring something to hope for, something to dream of, something to live for. I can't find myself. This whilrwind of thoughts leaves me stuck in the past. But I have to go back. I have to pick up the pieces to where I slowly began to fall apart. They're scattered and some I find broken. But now they're all here. I hold them in my shaking cold hands. I look down and see pieces of my life when I used to feel so free. I was like a bird soaring in the sky, riding the wind. Those times I was happy. Then I see another piece and another piece, it's a picture of a boy with a heavy heart and emotions so frail. Like an orpahn who feels unwanted, rejected, and alone. I was in a place dark and cold. Life had given me a hard blow after blow. Burden with guilt, regret, and hurt. Where love had gone sour and the strength to get through, just wasn't there. Pieces of laughter and pieces of sorrow. It's all here. What's in this to learn? And what's left to be forgotten? Finding yourself isn't so hard. You're never too far away. It's what you do to make changes with realizing who you've become and who you don't want to be. I'm outside watching the sunset. I drink my coffee. Tonight I'll fall asleep with the stars. Tomorrow I'll start my new life. I've found something to hope in, something to dream of, and something to live for. "Someday I'll know the right words to say. Someday you'll know the right words to say. The right words to act on. The right words to dream on. The right words to cry to. The right words to say goodbye to... In your own way you love to play the songs that remind you to stay. Someday I'll know a brighter side of me. Someday I'll choke on the words that I say. The right words to touch you. The right words to move you. The right words to hold you. The right words to say I love you."