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I'm Beginning to Forget
I thought my life should have been over when I heard your news that day..... but powers well beyond mine wouldn't let me end my days.... and we all know how hard I tried...... but I'm starting to forget. Twisted metal and shattered glass told a tale that wasn't so..... by all rights, I shouldn't have survived..... let alone without a mark on me...... but I'm starting to forget. Pain like no other became my new constant friend as muscle wasted into oblivion.... so much soft tissue damage, yet not even a bruise to tell my tale...... and months of physical therapy..... but I'm starting to forget. Then your leaving became final and my world rocked under that blow..... how could I go on without you? who would I be without you? Would anyone ever HEAR me again? but I'm starting to forget. Tears came and went as I resolved to find myself alone, without you..... each crisis devouring me less and less, not because they were minor in nature..... but because MY nature was growing stronger.... and I began to forget. Hurricane Charley blindsided Florida, and I couldn't help thinking what an awful name Charlie was..... my heart HATED you both.... but who had time to hold on to hate...... with reality blowing into the neighbor's yard..... and I continued to forget. Four hurricanes, a wrecked van, numerous doctors, and the news that MY baby was going to have HER own baby..... chaos and triumphs were abundant for months..... I NEEDED you to come back sooo much..... yet, tossed and turned I stood my ground..... and I knew I was really forgetting. I am completely weather-worn these days, physically and emotionally my eyes show both sides..... a pre-teen daughter leaving elementary school behind..... another daughter, pre-son-in-law, and a new grandson filling every nook and cranny of our tiny house...... and I knew I had almost forgotten. It's been almost two years since you devastated my life. I've hurt, I've cried, I've grieved, I've almost died.... I've laughed, I've fought, I've smiled, I've won..... I've been so angry, so sad, so lost.... yet losing YOU meant finding ME....... and I realized I had forgotten. I keep you in my prayers, you cross my thoughts at least once a day..... my life DID change because you were in it...... it has changed more since you have been gone and I will always be thankful for your time..... BUT, when I try, I can't even remember your face, so I guess I learned to say Good-bye...... Even though..... YOU NEVER DID!! BY; Robin Dawn Palmer 7/8/05 By ChinaSwan
© 2005 ChinaSwan (All rights reserved)
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