CantSleepClownsWillEatMe's blog: "Crushed and not the good way"

Have you ever felt like you just couldnt do it anymore? I am not talking about life, I am talking about love. Last night was very very hard on me. I wont go into details but my boyfriend did something that hurt me emotionally very badly. He did realize it and did apologize and thats fine, but when I figured what he did I went off. I didnt stop and think before I said things. I called him every name in the book and said alot of negative things that I didnt mean but they were out of rage at the moment. I have been practicing for the past year to use I statements, I long ago learned just how bad using you statements hurt because they were always pulled on me. Last night I went back to the you statements. I did tell him after stuff calmed down that next time I am here he better do what ever it takes to keep me here or I cant do it anymore. This emotional roller coaster is tearing me up and I swear I will have a breakdown if it continues. I love him with all my heart obviously, this is my second time in a foreign country, where I had expected not to leave both times. Last night I grabbed the bottle of tequilla and started slamming it.... I am not to much of a drinker and I am glad I semi calmed myself down before it got out of control. Right now I am just feeling broken.....