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What are you waiting for?
The nurse watched as she struggled to write. This process had been going on for hours, letter after letter had been written and sealed and stamped. She now had a collection of about 20 or so. She had struggled with this one much more than the others. Tears flowing and sobs of anguish. The nurse had asked her if she wanted her to write it for her as she dictated it to her and she emphatically said “No, it has to be from me in my writing”. The pain and effort with each sentence was clear to the nurse as she watched her patient saying goodbye to all those the people in her life that were not here. The nurse had asked should she call anyone and again an emphatic “No”. She said “I write much better than I would speak right now and there is a lot I want to say”.
“This is the last one” she said “but the most important of all”. “Please keep it till the time comes and call the number on the top of the page”. “I want you to read it to him”. The nurse replied that she would definitely do that and as she handed it to her the nurse saw a single tear slip from her eyes as she gazed longingly out the window. Then she fluffed her pillows and asked did she need anything and she replied “only one thing dear but you cannot get it for me”.
The nurse walked down the hall and as it was her lunch time, she headed to the break room and sat down and began to read the letter.
“I don't know how to begin to tell you all the things in my heart. I have waited so long to do so but it appears my time has run out. I wanted to look into your eyes and see what I needed to see and have your soul speak to mine. But alas, for whatever reason, you never got here. I kind of knew that you wouldn't but I never let myself give up hope. Till now. I wouldn't call you because, well, thats just not my style.”
“I waited for you my whole life. Asked God so many times for someone to fill my heart with gladness. To make me laugh and feel alive. To give me warmth and kindness and honesty. You did that and so much more. You showed me that I could love again with a ferocity and fire and passion that I have never known. It was a gift, one that I could never make you understand. The way you lifted up my heart and spirt each day, was something that no other has ever done. I do not want you to be sad or to feel badly about not being here and I do apologize for keeping this one thing from you but I did not want you to come here out of pity or some feeling of duty or honor. So please forgive this one transgression and know that no one has ever loved you more than I do. I will be with you always as you stand, as you sleep, as you cry, as you live. And when that time comes that your life is done, I will be waiting for you still and will be there to greet you and love as I do right now. No regrets. Never once doubt that you are a wonderful, kind, loving man. Never doubt that what you are doing is right. Never doubt that you are loved. Never loose hope. I am always there with a love that is neverending. I guess I should go now. I love you more than you will ever know.”
The nurse put the paper on her lap and sobbed into her hands. She had never read anything like this before but knew what she had to do. She picked up her cell phone and dialed. It was not too late. The man picked up the phone and said “Hello”. She said “I need to speak to you and can you come right away?”.
