love = pain.
simple as that.
unless you're in the beginning of something new.
then it's all giggles, butterflies and little heart drawn on pieces of paper.
then you get use to each other
then you know each other
then, and then there's nothing left to learn
nothing new for you to see
nothing but the same old same old everyday.
you make decision in the favor of your relationship
they go un-noticed.
you make sacrifices.
they don't matter.
you go to speak to each other
and nothing comes out
you stop writing letters
you stop drawing hearts.
you stop feeling butterflies.
you have to ask for kisses
for hugs, for affection.
you cry but to whom?
you cry alone.
you sit up at night just because
just to get fallen asleep on
you clean up
it goes un noticed
you feel unappreciated.
you go to speak how you feel
attitudes flare and words fly
you argue
you fight
you cry some more
you take yourself away from everything you've ever known
ever had, ever earned, ever worked for
you take yourself away from where you belong
it doesnt matter.
you're unhappy where you are
doesnt matter
you try and try and try to talk to your love
nothing gets through
how would you know if i did
they have to talk back
but they dont
" you deserve better" they say
it's not that easy
there's someone else involved.
someone who needs both of you.
so you weigh the options
plan a- stay where you are
let yourself slip further and further away from you
put your health in jeapordy to make your lover happy
and to keep your family together
plan b- go home
go back to what you made for yourself
and the life you brought into the world.
go back to when you were happy
you had a job, you had money
and a good place to live
and all you were missing was him.
but what can you do
but sit in the middle of both
and cry because you're confused
there is no place to run anymore
there is no one to hold you anymore
there is nothing
but pain...
...and love.....
what happened to who you were?
what about those days you would call me right after you left the house
just because you missed me.
what about the days you couldnt stand to be away from me?
how 8 hours seemed like 2 weeks?
why do i have to ask for a kiss,
or a hug or for you to hold me?
why dont we sleep in the same bed?
what happened to the days we would talk?
what happened to being able to tell you how I felt?
what am i suppose to do?
i'm tired of crying.
sick of it
but i wont make any threats
because i know i wont do anything
because i fuckin love you.
just tell me.....
do you love me too?....
