h's blog: "Emology 101"

{{7/12/07}} Ok, so it's Thursday and I havent written a word since last Sunday! How awful. My first week of work has been okay. Im still in training so Im not getting a lot of hours. After Sunday, I should be getting a full schedule. It's not as hard as I thought it would be. I gotta learn what comes with what but for the most part it's simple. Dayshift totally kicks ass. Dont get me wrong, I loved my nightshift at Arbys and Subway, but I'm digging this dayshift. I even get offa work in time to watch my soap opera =] How effin sweet is that? I think its rockin'....just like me ;) haha I'm so hardcore..........not! lmao. I had the biggest blonde moment today =/ On the registers at work you have to hit " dine in" or "carry out" before you can ring anything up... its like a quarter til one pm. Ive been on the register since like 10am. Ive pretty much got it down pat, right? Well I get a customer and I cant get it to let me ring anything up. I just cant get it to work at all, so I holler at the girl Im up front with....and yeah... you guessed it... didnt press the dine in button. All three of us laughed at me. It was hilarious. {{7/13/07}} Ace is 17 months old today. He's gunna be gone all weekend. I work tomorrow and I'm off Sunday. He's over at Belinda's tonight and he goes to my parents tomorrow. We'll get him back Monday afternoon. So I get to sleep in Sunday *score* //9:17pm// Yeehaw! I wrote another song! and its difficult to write and talk on the phone at the same time... o_O {{7/16/07}} .."And hate me for breathing without you..." *effin score!* i've lost 5 lbs since I got here 2 months ago! I'm thrilled. It doesnt seem like much, but it is to me. And I lost that just tending to Ace. Score three points for working too! =D -I love soapnet. God's gift to soap waters who work dayshift....- *I've got a sinus headache again. It's already put me back in the bed earlier. It needs to go away.....* {{7/22/07}} Ok so Ive totally fallen off this bandwagon. Ive been too tired lately to even bother thinking. Its unreal. Work is awesome though. Dayshift rocks my socks ( & kills muh feet!) {{7/24/07}} Ok....soo.. Im really starting to suck at this bloggin thing. Im getting way more hours at work, then I come home and take care of Aasyn. Ive been on the phone from the time I get Ace to bed til Lord knows when for the past two weeks. (hence the reason why I've stopped keeping track of all my random thoughts..Ive got someone to tell em too now,..) I wont go into detail. I'll keep that in my personal life for now..(yes Di,... I will fill you in privately..lol). Needless to say, things are freak-nastying awesome and they're only gunna get better <3 *insert random Hawthorne Height lyrics here* *-I cant wait for August 18th to get here. Father Figure is playing in Anniston and Im *SO* in need of a show. I hope I can find a ride. <3 m/ <3 -* **Ace has an ear infection. Its not as bad as it was two days ago. He had a real high fever on and off for the past few days. Today he's been fever free. maybe he'll sleep better tonight. ** //8:05pm// Ace is in bed <3 which means I can go to bed here soon...... ha yeah right. I always say that and then an awesome reason not to comes up. Who needs sleep, right? Ever impatiently waited on someone?....yeah..welcome to my world lol Random thought... o_O when the phone rings.. I get butterflies ^-^ {{7/25/07}} I hate ingrown toenails. Sounds sick, I know. Ive got one on both my big toes. The one on my left foot is awful. This is why i dont wear tennis shoes. What is it about going places that makes kids wanna act up? Dear lord that was the longest hour at the health department. All over a kids toy. This other boy had his little toy truck with him and Ace wanted it. And Ace pitched a fit from that moment out until we got into the car. i wanted to duct tape his mouth shut or something. He's so loud omg. We got his WIC all set up today. He's 30lbs & 9oz ans hes 33 & a quarter inches tall. They said he was tall for his age and that his weight was above average *but* its totally normal in kids his age. And with how active Aasyn is, He'll slim up over the next few months. The nutritionist said he has a extremeley good appetite and his iron was a little low. Other than that.. he's perfect. His shots are due in August so Im working on that still. Cant set up Medicaid without your birth certificates anymore and mine are in WA. ... still waiting on those. Im OC about keeping Aces dr. apts and stuff. Maybe its just the mom in me? lol. Today is gunna be a long day. Ace was up at 6am.. which he's down for a nap now. He's been in there talkin and playing but he just went quiet and its like 11am. Maybe he'll sleep long enough for me to get a bath and a small nap too. Im exhausted. Praise Moses that I dont go into work til 2 tomorrow afternoon. Bring on these two night shifts Im getting <3 and ,,!,, you all who are reading and seein Harry Potter,, my broke ass cant afford to get back to readin the books or see the movies =[ I still gotta read the 5th book and see the 3rd movie... =[ ..I hear the bath tub calling me... <3

{{7/2/07}}Ace colored for the first time today. *aws!* I scanned them and put them on here for a bit. Ima pit t hem in a scrapbook for Ace later on. He loved it. I literally had to pry the crayons out of his hands! It was fun <3 My baby is getting so big so fast! =[ -I've become obsessed with Fall Out Boy lately. It's unreal. Their Infinity On High cd has been in my cd player for the past week straight. I abso-freakin-lutely love them.- *My eye just tried to eat my contact =[ owie* [[RaWr]] {{7/4/07}} Today is our get together. We had it at my grandmother's house. Ace and I got up around 8am and were on the go from then. Helping with the cooking and tryna get stuff set up before everyone started getting there. It wasn't as big as it usually is. My grandparents just had an anniversary party less than a month ago at their house, so a lot of people didn't come. But all Nani's brothers and sisters came with a few of her nieces and nephews. We were originally having the get together at my Uncle Mac's house but my Aunt Virgina just found out that her cancer has spread to her bones and they started her on radiation treatments at the beginning of July and they felt like they couldn't handle it. Which is perfectly understandable. We all had fun. Tiffany came over and brought Lexi so Aasyn spent the day playing with her. Around 7:30 Tiffany picked me up to take me and Ace down to Oxford Lake to see the fireworks. Somehow we didnt manage to make it to Oxford until right at 9, when they started the fireworks. Well, 10 mns into the show.. about 30 yards away from where we are, I notice a buncha ppl start taking off running away from the lake and when I looked in front of us, everyone had their kids and families laying down. Go effin figure, some dumbass drunk brought his gun to the lake and was running around shotting it off. Needless to say, we hauled ass outta there.. hadta wait about 15 mns before we could leave the park there though. Everyone started leaving after that. but for the most part, Ace enjoyed the fireworks. We didnt get in until about 10:30pm and I put Ace straight to bed and the lil bugger still fought sleep! {{7/5/07}} YAY! its muh bday. w00t w00t! 22 bitches.. put that in your juice box and suck on it. o_O I was up at 6:30 this morning. I watched the neighbors granddaughter while she worked today. Ace loves kids btw... as long as they're relatively close to his height lol. We pretty much swam all day. Her Nana has a pool out behind their house and she let us go over there and swim. Ace went for a little bit, then we all went in and had lunch. Right after Ace went to sleep Mama came over. She had Scooter, Clare and Cal with her. Cal was suppose to start work today but the manager changed his mind and wont start him til Sunday. They got me a cake(yummy) and Clare got me a necklace and earrings(which I freaking love)and Scooter refused to let me put him down for the most part lol. Which was good enough for me. After a lil bit, we all went swimming again and were there for about 2 hours I think. I got a bit of color on muh face and back and whatnot. My brother is a total dork. And upon swimming with my siblings..i came up with my myspace name(lol yeah.. ima dork too...) Im sucha genious! mwhaha ... o-o by the time night falls...Ima be welcoming sleep. I start work tomorrow so Im excited and kinda nervous =D {{7/6/07}} yeehaw for work. I didnt do much today.. mainly paperwork and then Im the hostess on Sun and Mondays so, Mrs Janice was showing me what all she hasta do. I basically greet the ppl when they come in and keep everything stocked and clean in the lobby. I gotta do this on my own tomorrow .. and Saturdays are always busy so Im nervous. But hey... its work. <3 *-Whats the difference between and city and a town?-* {{7/707}} o_O ok.. im not too much into this hostessing thing. Put me behind the counter please! lol. I onlly worked about 5 hours today but shit.. i came in right during the middle of breakfast rush. It's been raining since 5am so lunch was dead and they let me off early. It was hot as hell lin there and I sweat like a whore in church( i'd like to thank Heather for that one) but I got in and we went to eat. Then we went shopping mwhaha I love shopping even if it is only grocery shopping lol. I've got a lot goling on in my head right about now and I've made some decisions on certian things. I'm proud and happy with myself. I'm also very tired... and sicka writing... *-Its peanut butter jelly time.......-* "Wait, waiit just a little more until my inside hit the floor and I swear Ive reached my shore....." {{7/8/07}} yay for being off! Now I can clean and junk. w00t w00t. Now to get Dorean Lives outta my head again... *mwhaz* Di beat me to bloggin today :( skank. I already beat her with the steak. I fully expect her to be reading this damn thing as soon as i get it posted lol. *-Im hungry and lunch is calling me-*

{{6/23/07}}Betrayed but not going to be willing to change You ever have so much on your mind that you don't know where to start & it feels like nothing's on your mind? -What causes you to feel emotions- {{6/26/07}} I love singing. I dunno how good I am at it, but I loveit. My friends like it, but they could just be being really nice (lol) I've wanted to take voice lessons for years. I use to do karaoke at an [ex]friend's house all the time. I just really love singing....and music in general. I had considered minoring in management and trying to start a record label or something. I completely *love* and live music. I write songs as well. Just lyrics though, I can't write music. I can't play any instruments, but I want to. ( i love the drums and guitars mwhahah) There's so much I wanna do! I think when the toddler-o-mine wake up, Ima dance with him. He loves music too =] Gunna break out my KSE cd. Killswitch Engage hasta be my favorite band, by far. Their newest album, Daylight Dies, kicks ass. I literally can listen to it all day ( and I have before) and I always listen to it when I sleep......yeah, I'm weird o_O -I've got writer's block,...sucky- {{6/27/07}}Why are credit cards associated with sports? And what is the purpose of the prepaid Visa card? ..Isnt it exactly like a debit card? -This whole incident with Chris Benoit is crazy- {{6/30/07}} yayness! My bday is in 5 days! I start work in 6.. i'm thrilled. I can't wait. I'm temporarily cured of my writer's block. I also realized I have an unfinished song floating around. I love writing. I love a lot of things...like randomness. I rock =] <3 -We finally got a decent storm today. Lord knows we need the rain- **Do they have Walmarts in Canada?** {{11:30pm}} I'm not trying to whine or constantly bring up the subject, but I'm still healing. And I can tell I'm healing. I didn't cry just now over this certian memory. I'm here listening to my Evans Blue cd and there's a song on here that I dedicated to Aaron. It's called Eclipsed. it's my favorite song off the cd. I can remember the way my room smelt when I first heard the song. And it makes me think back to that point in time. Ace was about a month old when I got this cd so things were good. I'm proud of myself for not crying. I loev Aaron, I still do and I always will. I don't want him anymore. Not after this. I've had time to think. No, I'm not over him *BuT* I have come to the decision I am better off without him. If he believes that what he is with is better than me, then so be it. I am who I am. If you can't take me & love me that way then fuck you. It's his loss and someone else's gain. For two and a half years I fought the world for him, for us, and this is what I get in the end. I'm a loyal person. I will do anything for the one I love. I did as much as I could to prove to him that I love him. This is what he wants, that's fine. I don't want him anymore. I dont need him and I don't need a man to make me happy or " make me feel good." I was surviving before Aaron and I can go back to that. I'm healing and I'm proud of myself for that. A lot has fallen into place the past two weeks. It's like a sign that this is where I'm suppose to be..<3 o_O I failed to realized just how *RETARDED* my aunt and my sister are...They'll make ya laugh til ya pee on yourself....... crazy heffiers. {{7/1/07}} 4 more days til muh bday! w00t w00t! ...o_O a spider just ran right by me....*cringes* I'm terrified of spiders ( yeah hush Wes... I can hear you laughin at me punkass ).. I dunno why.. but they're scary as hell and ... I dont like them. So if anyone wants to come find it and kill it.. please please do. o_O

{{6/8/07}}Thank you for saving me from myself " One day I quit a job becuase I couldn't find a parking space. I drove around that mug *twice*. They must not want me to work today. Looks like they already got enough people working for em.." - ComicView {{6/9/07}} I cant eat. I had to force myself to eat lunch yesterday and then I only ate a third of what I normally eat. That was all I had yesterday. I'm not sleeping right. I feel so heavy..and sick. I just wanna wake up from this nightmare. I just wanna stop crying... {{10:30am}}I know everyone deals with heartbreak but it's twice as hard when you know that other person loves you. I know you love me. You do or else you wouldnt get upset when we talk and no I dont wanna let you go. I believe you're the "one". We just... I dont know. I fucking love you and I mean that with everything in me. I need you.. Someone fix the holes on my chest. Im empty and alone...I just want everything to be okay again. I had this weird dream last night. I was at like this closed hotel/ranch/whatever. I was tehre with some people and Aaron was there. we ended up talking and I was crying. I dont remember what all was said. I told him that I didnt know what to do. He said everything was going to be okay. I started crying more, then he kisses me( like one of those movie kisses) and I feel my heart break. I tear up and ask him why he did that. I dunno what he said in response, then he said to come home. I told him I couldnt be there in our apartment with him. I could share him. I couldnt do it..and I ran off. Then I realized that it didnt sound like Aaron and it didnt really look like Aaron. The was Aaron's height, had Aaron's features but he was lighter and his hair was kinda slicked back. I then realized that it wasnt Aaron. I dunno what the dream could mean.. My wrists started itching again....that's not a good thing...... {{6/10/07}} I confuse myself. Half the day yesterday I was upset and then for the rest of the day i was okay. Sometimes, I find myself thinking like I'm still taken. I know I;m not but its hard getting use to. Two and a half years, that's a pretty long time for a long distance relationship to last..even though I shouldnt have to say last. It still should be working...but what's done is done. {{5:54pm}} I keep smelling your scent. Every day since I left for my trip. I keep seeing your face. I've managed to fight the fit of tears I'm holding back at this very moment. I catch myself daydreaming of going home, then i reallize its not going to be like it was. How does it not bother you? The distance is 90% of what's keeping me from crying all the time. I dunno what it's going to be like when I get back "home" in July.... {{7:00pm}} Could you drive without your thumbs? I almost wanna test it..but I cant. Would be kinda hard though, or so i think. {{6/14/07}} Todays my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. Their party is on Saturday.I cant wait to see what the place looks like with everything set up. Im going back to WA this Tuesday. Im moving in with my neighbor and her baby boy. Im kinda excited but I know I got a hell of a ways to go til we're stable. Nani took me bday shopping today! I got new clothes! I'm thrilled! I also got a free make over as well. And I was Aasyn free for the few hours we were out. Lawd you woulda thought I had been gone for days by the way that boy was acting. I'm off to get back to my game of Yahtzee Im playing with my brother and sisters. ( i love this game) ---What causes wind?---- Ok before I go on, I gotta say i owe credit to this blog. lamar originally started this type of blog and i thought it would be a killer way to blog. His blogs are called "Random Thoughts" You can go read them on his page and this is his linkie -->>>> www.myspace.com/lamarhines He totally rocks. If i lived closer to him, we'd be like hella close buds. We'd be tight like the pants on an emo kid. Lamar = undescribably awesome. mwhaha. I met him offa hotornot(and I dont do that anymore..) on accident =P I was looking for a friend of mine on there by searching under the band Unloco and *bam* there's Lamar. =) Outta the countless people I've met on there, he's one of three people I talk to still.