I just returned to fubar after several years away and after reading what I had here before is just embarrassing, but at the same time it has given me the chance to see how far I have come and how much I have grown. When I started here, I was in the middle of an ugly divorce and a newly single mom of 3 amazing kids. Fubar kept me sane and away from destructive behavior. I also meet some amazing people it was absolutely one of my better decisions. Then life just got away with me, I stumbled, and I found myself in a bad addiction to prescription medication and my life crumbled. I got back up a time or two, but always ended up right back into another situation (not drugs). But I never stopped fighting. Well, I have several years sobriety under my belt (choose not to count the days because every day is a new first day for me) and my kids are all adults. I look back and can now say I did good. It might have taken me a lot longer than it does most, but I did it. I am older and tired now, but even more then that, I am so much wiser in so many ways! I have taken all the bad and made myself better for it. And just even saying that out loud makes me know for sure I'm doing my best and I will be ok.

One of my newest accomplishments is my job. I have finally found my calling. I work in a county ER. One of the hardest jobs I could ever have tried to do. It pushes me to my every limit mentally and physically. Some days I question if I am making the right choice because my heart hurts. 23 yrs in the medical field and hte last 3 yrs has forever changed me. And all I want to ever ask anyone is to please please share extra kind words to your emergency room staff (all of them. not just the dr's and rn's)

I guess what I am gettin at is this...Fubar is my place to get away without having to leave, I need it to be my safe place, my chaotic sanity at best. I don't and won't do drama. And tbh I am NOT looking for a relationship. I am in need of friends that understand I am on the run and may be on more some days than others and sometimes miss a day or so. But I have no time for NSW talk or what not and just am not there. I need and want friends with only thoes intentions, I am an honest person and will continue to be, but won't have confrontation and will just block people before getting upset or bothered. I am me and I matter.