Over 16,537,662 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
You try to schedule days off around the phases of the moon
You have a bumber sticker that reads “Stat happens”
You are the only one at the dinner table not allowed to talk about your day of work
Discussing dismemberment while eating a goumet meal is perfectly normal
Your pajamas and work clothes all look alike
Your ringtone on your phone is a siren
You’ve ever muttered “nice veins” to a complete stranger
You think it’s funny to tell a patient “I know how you feel. It’s my first IV too.”
You have a pet named “comatose”
You think the world is going to come to an end if someone utters “Wow, it‘s really quiet”
You can drink 5 cups of caffeinated coffee before noon
The stop-in-food-store manager down the street from your crew hall knows you by name
It’s a miracle if you ever get to sit down and eat a full meal without any interruptions
You follow random ambulancesin your POV
You carry a pair of sheers with you everywhere you go
Your record is going 95mph down Main Street
O-P-Q-R-S-T is not just the middle of the alphabet
You find humor in other people's stupidity
You believe than 90% of people are a poor excuse for protoplasm
Your idea of fine dining is anywhere you sit down to eat
You believe a good tape job will fix anything
You have the bladder capacity of five people
Your idea of a good time is a full arrest at shift change
Your idea of comforting a child includes placing them in a papoose restraint
You have ever referred to someone's death as a "Celestial Transfer", or a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit"...
You have ever answered a "lost condom" call...
You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide...Doing It Right"...
You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis...
You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there"...
You have ever had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably...
You have ever wanted to reply "yes" when someone calls the E.R. and asks "Is my (husband, wife, mother, brother, friend, etc.) there?"...
You have ever referred to the E.R. Doc , triage nurse, or partner as a "
magnet" or "angel of death"...
Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion...
You think that caffeine should be available in I.V. form...
You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience...
You believe the ER waiting room should be equipped with a Valium fountain...
You want lab to order a "dumb profile"...
Your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 (hours, days, weeks, months, years)?"...
You have ever had a patient say, "but I'm not pregnant; I'm a virgin! How can I be having a baby"...
You have ever accused a patient of faking a seizure, only to watch him immeadiately come out of the seizure long enough to deny faking it and cuss you out, then go back into it...
Your shoes have been seized and quarantined by either the CDC in Atlanta, OSHA, the EPA, or the Nuclear Regulatory Commission...
And finally, You might be an EMS professional if you find any of this funny!!!!
