Stargazer4moon's blog: "Years of Pen Pushing and still fond of butterflies."

I was sent a delightful film of a snail crossing a slatted bench that had flaky paint on. It had to bridge between two slats to cross. +++++ With a start Macawber opened his tightly closed eyes and looked down to see what had wakened him from his perch on the back of a park bench. He was shocked to see Sylvia trailing over a slat on the bench and wondered how much effort it had taken for here to get that far. The curious magpie was pleased to see that Sylvia was fully dressed as instructed and the state of the shell itself was immaculate now after her unfortunate gravel incident a month or two ago. He called out to her but Sylvia either failed to hear him or chose to ignore his 'caw'. With a big sigh he hopped down onto the bench onto the second slat and Sylvia pricked her antennae up to see what had blocked out the light. She was getting used to the daylight hours and found it difficult to see now in the dark. Sylvia had a difficult manoeuvre to perform as it was and she hardly needed to do it in the gloom. It was her turn to tut now and hearing her displeasure Macawber noticed the shadow he cast upon her. “Sorry about that Sylvia. I wanted to know what you are doing so far from home,” he commented and asked, “more to the point, why are you parked upon a bench?” With one tentacle up and the other one down she said, “If you notice, Macawber, there is a huge swathe of gravel back there and I thought if I climbed up the bench I would find a clear grassy or paved area to crawl over rather than get stuck up again in the gravel.” Sylvia looked down with much rue and smiled saying, “I did not take into account that the bench would be flaky so it has taken me an extraordinary time to get anywhere and when I did get to the edge of the slat there is a huge crevasse for me to calculate my way over,” and she poked her head over the edge as if to prove the point. “Hmmm,” said Macawber in a thoughtful manner and watched as Sylvia tried all manner of positions to bridge the gap. Although it had to be said that there was a cross bar and the base of the slat which she could crawl down onto in order to bridge the gap. He was about to comment on this when Sylvia did a most unusual thing, it was so unusual that Macawber, who had flown onto the back of the bench, looked down on her in amazement. Sylvia leaned over the gap touching the other side with the tip of an antennae and laid it to rest. Macawber was enthralled at her antics because following that the snail flipped over, rolling over on her grounded antennae and ended up resting with her tail top on one side of the gap and both of her antennae on the other side. Macawber wondered what the view was like for her after the snail had somersaulted over. He noticed that she was now resting on the top of her shell with her soft and silver body in full view for the world to see touching the bench tip to tail. If he was a game bird he would have gambled that Sylvia was going to roll around again but instead she turned on her side moving her antennae from the bench surface and rested her chin there instead. After this she dangled her tail down the cross bar and tensed herself in order to pull the shell over the bridge just like the movement of a caterpillar but sideways. It was rather disconcerting for Macawber to watch and all he could think of was the state of her shell if she ever got off there alive. Sylvia had dragged her shell over the bridge making a furrow in the peeling paint which built up under her shell and protected it from being scratched. Macawber could see the flaky paint pilling up each side of her shell and realised that she was not going to need some medical intervention for her shell after all. Minutes passed and Sylvia put in a huge effort which Macawber could sense and see, then she pulled herself over into a more upright position whilst hauling her shell up the side of the slat until it was upon the top of it whereupon she hauled her remain body parts, namely her tail over the top. Once she was up Macawber could see her rapidly moving body as she puffed and panted and he noticed the green paint flaking off the side of her shell but not all of it. He felt obliged to hop down and pick off the remaining paint then phwhoof it with his gentle breath. Macawber would have sung at the top of his voice with relief but he figured that it would not only startle Syllvia but also deafen her. He thought for a moment after phwoofing to move the final piece and wondered where her ears actually were because there was nothing visible. Then he remembered that he too did not have ears to envisage so he wondered why this was. Sylvia was wriggling in a most uncomfortable manner and he asked, “What is the matter, Sylvia, you should be resting after all that exertion and I have to say that it was the most amazing feat of bridge building I have ever seen.” He smiled at her fondly as he waited for a response from his friend.

REVIEWS & synopsis from June 2008 to December 2008. LIFE IN BURROWS AT BROCKDEN & THE HATCHING OF THE ETERNAL NINE BUTTERFLIES. An eternal Flux by Delphine H. Hollingwood. ISBN.978-0-9556-0320-4 MY PERSONAL SYNOPSIS An adult/intellectual fantasy tale about life using animals as the main characters. It is filled with humour, innuendos and nuances but profound in meaning. It is life as seen and lived by the characters complete with love, laughter and tears and great changes through bizarre circumstances due to a dream experienced by Penelope Prickle-Bonnet, the arrival of Filbert Fois Gras, a visiting French duck with a cosmopolitan outlook on life and a penchant for meditation, moderation and balance and believes in the ways of the East and how karma affects everything. He has an eye for the main chance too and works on the Stock Exchange. It is set at the outset in the country side and is then based around a busy pond with many differing animals each with their own personalities and problems. The two areas are interlinked though. The Owlopathic healing is run by Dr. Hoot, an expert doctor and surgeon and the complementary healing is applied by Nurse Tuffy-Tail, a very caring but unfairly deserted creature. Penelope Prickle Bonnet is a sweet but feisty creature who fights everyone's battles but is unable to fight her own. Lizzie LaConic is an abrasive optician feared by one and all To name but a few. DETAILS: Paper back. 125 pages. Seven line drawings. Word count circa 43,000. The stories were written over a period of 8 years. The book itself was conceived from these stories by accident and born under the hardest of conditions with the most amazing sets of coincidences and serendipity involved in the making. It was printed in India courtesy of Tyrone & Joyce Souza who not only arranged the printing but carried out the design and artwork. Because of its country of birth the book is unorthodox in size/appearance. However, it is easy to handle. The book was born without a Title on the spine and a beautiful jacket was designed by Bien Goverd to cover this shortfall. +++++++++ +++++++++ A SYNOPSIS by the retired owner of Essentially Oils Limited, Oxford Delphine Hollingwood (her nom de plume) began writing Life in Burrows at Brockden & The Hatching of The Eternal Nine Butterflies eight years ago Following an operation to cure her epilepsy, she decided to finish it to prove she hadn’t lost her mental facilities as a result of the operation. The book is an intellectual fantasy tale about a year in the life of some endearing creatures. The book features, amongst many other colourful characters, a couple of care-free badgers, Billy and Benjy Burrowberg, whose laziness brings them an unexpected happy turn of events Nevertheless I was taken particularly with Filbert Fois Gras, a flamboyant duck from France who is a very kind and caring soul whose Stock Exchange work forces him to learn meditation and relaxation. For those of a more holistic bent, the very caring and gifted squirrel with a healing touch which puts her out of favour with the establishment might strike a chord Nurse Tuffy-Tail is always there to help and support all in need, both physically and psychologically, without question. +++++++ REVIEWS. Charles, Oxford. Owner of Essentially Oils. A well-travelled, well-respected and highly educated scholar and business man. Also Charles is an informative writer with years of experience in the field of Plant genealogy and Essential oils. This is a cleverly written book It contains the simplistic ways as well as the high-tech and commercial sides of life The book comprises six stories that link together forming the whole book Published by W J Lennard [ISBN 978-0-9556-0320-4], with charming illustrations of the characters by Joyce Souza, who has never even visited England from her native Goa, it is not only an insightful book for adults but also a series of enchanting tales for children. In fact, the perfect bedtime story for all the family! My read of the month. =========== Mrs. G. B., Retired Music Teacher and Choir mistress. Hampshire "I very much enjoyed reading the book and it is beautifully written. I needed to read a few chapters to get into it. It was very interesting and pleasant reading. The names were most unusual and well fitting to the animals and birds." "Some parts would be interesting to older children as well as adults. It was better to read a few chapters at a time." "It was a lovely and amusing book. WELL DONE!" ========== EDMUND BRIDGEWATER, TOKYO, JAPAN.. Writer, Journalist, Singer and Composer. To: Wendy ( Delphine Hollingwood ). "Your book is imaginative and excellent. I can visualize it in other formats: ANIME, CARTOON and AUDIO - which I think you should read yourself. Women writers have come a long way. Today two of my favourite authors are the Canadians Alice Munro and Margaret Atwood. I have already added Delphine Hollingwood to my list of preferred writers." +++++++++++++ ============== Rouen B. Bentota. Sri Lanka. A young Sri Lankan man who is trying to improve his English, conversation, vocabulary and writing. A copy was sent in the knowledge that, as it was written in advanced English, it would expand his vocabulary. "I have read your book to the end. I learned from it and it was really helpful to improve my English knowledge." "Thank you." ++++++++ ============= Roumyana Rashkova. A Bulgarian philologist and exceptionally busy Teacher in Bulgaria. It is a lovely book and is worth reading many times again. I'll do it by all means during Christmas holidays. Then I'll read it at ease because at this time I could only do that in between classes in bits and somehow I got lost in the numerous names. Now that I've mentioned the names, I'd like to tell you that this was the funniest thing to me in the book. You are very inventive and the numerous implications these names prompted provided tremendous pleasure to me. The constant touch of humour throughout the narration is subtle and very charming However,it's not only an amusing reading matter but it's also edifying. Living creatures seem to have so much in common in ancestry, habits and habitats. I'll recommend your book to my colleagues and pass it on. ++++++ ========= LUZ HANNAI, Teacher of English in the USA to children of several nationalities including Spanish, Lebanese and Italian. Wendy I truly enjoyed it. I found it very entertaining and insightful. It was so clever the way you introduced technology into the life of these animals. Nurse-Tuffy Tail: You have her in such a good standing as her character is such a wise and hard working one. I gather Delphinium and Darious were based on you and David Since your aka is Delphine. I found the characters all varied and so real- you certainly have a knowledge of humanity and the different personalities. It was not only fun and entertaining but also uplifting in its message of how we all must struggle in one form or another....and that people can change for the better like, Lizzie La Connie and Kassandra Quackalot. Congratulations on their names and your sense of humour. I specially liked the ending. Lots of the characters gathered together at Delphinium and Darius's home - you could just sense the atmosphere of love and acceptance there. It makes you wish you were there with the characters. You remind us of how we all have our trials, yet moments like this among family and friends, makes it all worth while, giving us the hope of a better tomorrow. A beautiful and promising ending with a toast to "The Province of Nine Butterflies and Eternal Flux." It is truly a gift and work of love. I feel so very special for having been given the opportunity read your remarkable work of love. ++++++ ========== Mrs. Bien Goverd, an artist, writer, designer and marketing agent from the Philippines, now living in England (The beautiful jacket was designed by Bien.) In my opinion, it could have been 200 pages instead of 125. However, it is the contents that count. I am very sure this will be found very interesting book and I am sure every reader who is tempted to read the book will enjoy and learn from it. I have to say that it is wonderful, easy to read, entertaining, the originality of every character is amusing and the humour ever present. I am sure that anybody would be interested to read such a fantastic story ++++++++ ========== Mr. Paul. R, Professional Photographer, owner of a photographic shop and studio, Leeds. I really enjoyed reading the book. You have created such wonderful characters like Penelope Prickle Bonnet and Henry Hunnybun. I like the way there are so many different types of animals in the stories and how we are introduced to them as the book unfolds. I also like the mention of the effect we have on their environment and how precious it is. A book is still displayed in the shop ++++++++ ========== Mr. A. Kemeny, Neurosurgeon, who carried out the brain surgery which eabled the conception of this book, informed me that he was delighted to have received it and its existence made his job so rewarding. He also stated that the world created for the animals sounded an ideal place for busy mortals like himself to be in. ===============

It had become gloomy as the day had worn on and at that moment enlightening gale dived and darted with moonlike illuminations paving his way through the dense vegetation narrowly missing the dangling vine which had decided that as every other shrub in the jungle was dropping bits all over him, he would sag down and take a rest from his uncomfortable twisted position. The enlightening gale came upon Henrietta and was suitably pleased because he loved teasing Henrietta after her usual day of pod watching and news *, Henrietta was over focussed due to the recent *pod cast incident* with the bean pod and she almost jumped out of her now smooth and supple hide when he darted around her with his beaming light. The deviation and dazzling was enough to make her tread right into that which Denis had not cleared away during his dung pushing sessions. Consequently Henrietta was none too amused and decided that she would go for a dip in the Satin Swamp. With much indignation, Henrietta wandered off to the Swamp and as she went by the Shady Glade she noticed Denis therein and she stopped to discover the reason he had been tardy with his jungle clearing chore.. +++++++ It transpired that, when he was busy toiling away, Denis did not have a good sense of direction which made his job harder because he seemed to go round in circles whilst pushing the dung along.. To make matters worse, Denis had such a cracking headache that he wondered if he would ever clear it along with the dung and his blurry eyes, Because of this he walked head long into Edgar’s new designer salon/parlour garden He tried concentrating on the dung in hand again, and realised his faux pas through his hazed eyes when he spotted Edgar bearing down on him again to evict him. Denis decided to make a hasty exit and in the process he bumped into the tree newly planted in Edgars garden. “Ouch!” he yelled and rubbed his even sorer head. There were times when he thought that it would be an idea to clean up his act altogether and change occupations to suit his wayward pushing

Well, this has been added to but it was two other stories tacked in and around. Somehow they all fitted without much trouble and they were never written with that particular exercise in mind. I just write like that. A butterfly, flitting from one thing to another and then creating something positive - or something like that. Huh, how do you think the first book was put together. In seven different stories and some piggling about on each one. A fluke of the lucky sort. As for this, well, it is in progress but nobody said it was particularly good! The now enlightened Henrietta had spoken to the great hippo guru who was a kind and gentle creature. He had given her so much information and advised her that she had not lapsed from her creed by having a beauty treatment. Henrietta should have known this as a matter of course. Everyday she had been devout although he had explained that it was not strictly necessary. It was only for those choosing to walk a path of total enlightenment that were required to be more devout in their daily enchantments. After all Karmatosis was a learned state that required much concentration. One slight deviation could be rather long winded in respect of returning to the original tangent or pathway. Remembering this, Henrietta had qualms about how she felt when she realised how far off her Pathway she had deviated. The wise Hippo guru and mentor had, in a short time, told her exactly how to retread her steps without going backwards which made her feel much better. A few months later, Henrietta was sitting under a shady tree whilst reading the Gecko Echo being deeply entranced by her thoughts Henrietta paid scant attention to the huge and dry pods waving frantically in the sudden breeze. As she turned the page the tree shed a pod and 'Thwack' it hit Henrietta straight between the eyes. It was indeed a wake-up call and in an instant Henrietta was back to Earth, fully alert again and focussed. Normally Henrietta was observant during these sitting sessions but somehow today she felt the urge to read the paper properly for once rather than skip through it. The startled hippo did not read anything into it and held no grudge about the pod shed but she let out a huge sigh which blew the Echo over backwards so it could only be seen and not read. What came into view was something Henrietta had never come across before, mainly because she never finished the Echo to the end of its daily spread. There in front of her eyes was not only the bean pod but also the cross word puzzle. The visions were enough for much crossing including her eyes and she dropped the paper then shook the bean pod off her face. The newspaper fluttered everywhere as it fell open again and blew as if it was free to *(spread the word). Henrietta took scant notice of this and decided that she had a bean to pick with the tree

This is all a stretch of the neck, the truth and the imagination!! They are here by virtue of the fact that I stumbled across it and because it might shame me into putting some work and imagination into getting it finished or fitted in. Let us face it when have you heard of a giraffe eating mango leaves!! Well, it sounded good at the time. Oh and I was trying to think of names for a giraffe too with little success or sense and I don’t apologise for that – you have to start somewhere because even a giraffe needs a springboard.. Geronimo Graphneck stood looking at the people walking passed his pen and wondered why they did not stop and talk to him before passing along the walkway to see the newly arrived Sunstripe family and the Tapernose pair. They were the latest addition to the Zoo and just like he once was they all sat and basked in the glory of the attention they now had. What they did not realise was that once the novelty had worn off they would be in the same state he was in, that being part of the furniture and overlooked. He thought back to his wondrous days on the Savannas of Africa and the day a kind lady came along and sweet talked him into taking a vacation with her to see the world. What he had not realised that his world was about to shrink and that he would not have the wider horizons of yore, which he wondered about and hankered for many a time. Every day it was the same old diet. Geraldo G. Raph chewed on the very last leaf left on the tree by his pen and wondered why firstly he was standing in the middle of a crowded zoo and what the G stood for in his name. It was certainly not written on the wall or even on the entrance gate. He knew this because with his long neck Geraldo could get into all manner of nooks and crannies which was handy when he was foraging for flora but it was even more useful when he wanted to eavesdrop on his neighbours or generally nose around without even having to lift a leg. He was rather prone to obesity due to being able to attain so much without blinking an eye or shaking his tail and more to the point moving off the spot he settled in for the day. The grumbling he had from his keeper each morning for being so fat and lazy had become just a part of another day and he had learned the art of switching off whilst looking attentive. For this he had to use his long and upward curling eyelashes. They could bat on command and when he felt like it they could become water dropped when he bawled. Not that he was prone to too much eye batting & bawling but it proved a point that lashes do have some purpose other than being dust and fly traps. Poor Geraldo found it very hard cleaning them and he wondered at the genetics of it all. After all, he had no hands like the primates who spent their days doing all manner of unmentionable things with theirs including rubbing their eyes. He was not so fortunate. He had heard mention of the tree of Life which did so many things even control the acid build-up on teeth. Unfortunately where he was there was no such tree of life because he enquired about it only to find that it was back onto the distant land which was once home for him. In fact, he would be lucky to even get a just plain alive and kicking tree because his was currently on its last pegs. +++++++ Meanwhile, back on the Savannahs, Georgie Raffsquare had been eating so much sweet mango leaf, which was not part of his natural foraging diet, that his teeth ached even more than his neck today. This not only meant a trip to Edgar for his monthly neck stretch ’n’ roll but also a trip into father foreign territory to see if Sebastian Sunstripe could fit him in for munch ’n’ crunch repair

Ruwen Roarwell wondered why he had not heeded Trevalyan’s advice and left the hard shelled food for those with strong jaws and claws. It was that crack, crunch noise that he so hated but it was self-inflicted so he could not grumble. It was just a nuisance and he hoped that it had not wrecked his recent orthodental treatment. As it was he had wasted his time yet again because there would have been very little meat on the Hermit Crab. Also it had such viscous claws that Ruwen was forced to spit it out because again he had bitten of more that he could chew. Now it became clear to him what that saying actually meant and there, he thought he would go through life saying the expression and never knowing what it meant. The thought-filled lion flicked his tail, more through habit than necessity and then licked his sore mouth. The Hermit crab on the other hand had beaten a hasty retreat and disappeared down one of the many escape tunnels. It was surprised by the attack and wondered what had occurred to make it happen. That was a first for him and he decided that later on he would check to see what was afoot outside. He settled down and drew himself back into his shell. This is a tight fit, he thought a wriggled about in the hope that it was a mis-entry. Alas, it made no difference how much he wriggled, his shell had shrunk or he had expanded! After some thought he remembered that he had gorged himself a few days ago on some very exotic fodder He pondered for a while and admitted to himself that he had only himself to blame for his growth *. It struck him that at the time it crossed his mind that his eyes were bigger than his belly and now his belly was bigger than the * Just as he was pondering on the why’s and wherefore’s in the bolt hole there was movement from within the cavernsized nook and he was horrified to spot the largest * in his entire life and he had been on the planet for a few years now. He had wondered about how he was forced to change shells every x many seasons and perhaps that was what he needed to do now. Anyway his ponderings had been interrupted by this surprise encounter and he thought that had ever had a particular faith then now would be the time to prove that he had it!

Beletia Bleation blew the morning dew and webs off her cold and damp nose. Poor lamb was cold enought withough having extremity carrying excess moisture. Sometimes Beletia wondered about the discomfort of dwelling in the wide blue younder and then she thought about the Pen * and shivered at the vision of standing on warm straw, spending the day looking through either slats or bahs. It mucht be comfy for legs of lamb but not good for eyes and *. Beletia gazed down the field with her bright and shiny eyes wide opened wide. As she cast her eyes further to the distant fields the lamb espied hundreds more cotton reels and pondered about what they where and when they would stop growing. The huge green reels had appeared one day last week when she arrived back from her unwanted short shank shave and body blow. It had been a shock to say the least,and it had taken her all this to become accustomed to their presence but not their increase. Funny what you see when you look, she thought and the thought filled * turned away from the reels to see if there had been any other foreign object placed nearby. As she scanned back and forth a huge white oblog object caught her attention and she gave it closer scutiny. The side of the block opened and people walked out. When she goes to Daisy, Daisy says, "No moos is good moos because I can see farmer Trilby Haton coming to check up on me." Beletia stood on the tip of her hooves and nooded to Daisy. "Yes, you are right so you should start mooing until the cows come home!" Daisy snorted at Beletia's dreadful pun and let out a throat 'Moo' just to please the silly lamb. Daisy was quite fond of Beletia even though she was not the sharpest of chop stick. However, it had to be said that Daisy felt a lot better for the wild Moo then she cocked her head to one side listening to the surrounding sounds and once she heard the footfall of Farmer Trilby Haton she knew her wander for the day was over again and she sighed. Beletia, gave Daisy a sympathetic look because she knew how much Daisy enjoyed her free roaming. "Good bye for now, Beletia," Daisy whispered and Beletia, just let out a resounding bleat so that Farmer Trilby Haton would never know that they could speak the same language!!! Daisy then mooed again as she felt the tender pat on her rump. "Come on Daisy," he said fondly to his favourite Fresian, "The milk maid is waiting for you and has set up stool in readiness for Ambrosia time."

From Percy's Attractions and Distractions/A smile to light a Tapir's Touchpaper. Caused his quills to stand up on end. Percy watched her fly around and sniffing the air in the jungle undergrowth.CHANGE. Percy watched her flying around and sniffing the air in the jungle undergrowth fly around and sniff the air ++++ It seemed that in was not only sunlight which damaged the.... It seemed that it was not only sunbeams/sun* which damaged the .... shake his head in order to bring him/himself back to his senses.... Henrietta - change to transfixation.... Beryl Sorry that it was - not that is was.... Tremane insert comma after He added and before next quote marks. Also isert line feed at dialogue earlier from Trevalyan Make sure Buzby is that all through and not Busby. Buzby's crash. Upward bent or Upwardly bent beak. On island with Beryl - but I think it has been altered however - event he should be even the ++ From the Tinkertooth booth. Delete one of the Trevalyan asked's as only one is required..... A reminder to see if Arachnaphobe is better or worse than arachnapod..... Geckos don't make a noise so find something else to make a din in Gerome's grass or re-word it. That goes with all Gecko stories. Think about Gerome's tongue as pro-longed and not long and pronged? Or something less messy. Check through Daisy's story as the tenses are totally out and words missing. Also put the crows back in at the beginning somewhere before the brook and her tripping over the socks. Henrietta is sitting a position that she is NOT used to or she would not be in pain!!1

Henrietta was sitting under a shady tree whilst reading the Gecko Echo. As she turned the page the tree shed a pod and ‘Thwack’ it hit Henrietta straight between the eyes. She did not read anything into it and held no grudge about the pod shed but she let out a huge sigh which blew the Echo over backwards so it could only be seen and not read. What came into view was something Henrietta had never come across before, mainly because she never finished the Echo to the * There in front of her eyes was not only the bean pod but also the cross word. The visions were enough for much crossing including her eyes and she dropped the paper then shook the bean pod off her face. The newspaper fluttered everywhere as it fell open again and blew as if it was free to *(spread the word). Henrietta took scant notice of this and decided that she had a bean to pick with the tree. Whilst she scrambled up from her sitting upright position, one that was natural to her, Henrietta noticed a huge nook in the nearby rock and movement from within. With curiosity tickled when she was on all fours again Henrietta lumbered over to it in a stiff manner because the sitting pose she had chosen seemed to have found muscles that she had never been on close feeling terms with before. Bearing the pain Henrietta carried on over to the nook and bent her head down to see just what was inside this mysterious crevice. Her nostrils flayed and because of the recent exertion her breathing was laboured which made her puff and pant into the gap. This was unbeknown to her though but the residents of the hollow felt it with discomfort +++++ Nibbling with his dainty mouth on the Accacia leaves, Gerome decided that his neck ached but he was trying to fill the gap in his expansive belly and he decided to suffer the discomfort of a pain in the neck to do just that. His horns were losing all senses as he chomped in a slow and lazy fashion on his current mouthful which made him feel that with no circulation to the crown of his head he might keel over from a great height. The stubby horns tingled and began to feel numb, not that they had much feeling in them to start with but the fuzzy felt, that covered them, did have a form of feeling and at present they felt quite *. Gerome put his head to one side in the hope that the movement would induce circulation but alas it was not to be and he was forced to move away from his acacia * and lumber albeit it gracefully around the block for a while just to get things pumping and put colour back into his patchwork. Whilst he moved around Gerome noticed how noisy the air was today filled as it was with the constant buzz of bees feeding on the acacia flowers and the clicking and flicking noises of the geckos as they rummaged in the dry grass and up the tree trunk for anything that moved which was edible. His tail seemed to be making a racket today and he wandered why everything seemed so loud. After a while the noise was getting on his muzzle which made him shake his head in a ferocious fashion as if trying to dislodge the surround sound. As he did this he cricked his neck and whinnied out in pain but what was more disconcerting was the way his ears flapped sounding like bat wings flitting by. Now he was most concerned because he had never had bats in his flappers before which made him wonder what on earth was wrong with him. It was not as if he was getting long in the neck even though he was well chequered. He just looked older than his counterparts because he had more squares on the route up to his neck. After some consideration Jerome decided not to shake his head again but instead take tongue out of cheek and * his ears with it. After all he had a long pronged tongue which he used to curl around the branches in order to pull the leaves to shreds for his orification/edification. With this thought in mind he wondered how best to do the exploratory lick and decided that it would be safer to be seated. This was one of his least favourite movements. It was not the getting down to it that was bothersome but rising to the occasion again was something he had not mastered properly. The noise continued and so did the bat flaps and to disconcert him even more he felt tickling within his hairy ears. His eyes opened wide and he batted his eyes, moving his long and curled eyelashes slowly, in a surprised manner. At the sensation of movement on his outer ear rims he shook his head again and this time he heard a deep throated 'BUZZ'. The tickling increased and finally from the ear mats a bee came into sight wiping its body with its legs. At the sight of Beryl the penny dropped and now all became clear even the strange noises stopped. The bats also seemed to have flown but that was just a figure of speech. Beryl continued preening herself straightening her untidy fuzzy body and then finished off with the back leg flicks over her gossamer wings. The puzzled giraffe seemed to have gone into a trance watching Beryl out of the corner of his huge and soft brown eyes. The tiny insects buzzed in front of them and so began the batting again to clear the eyeballs that seemed to be filled with tears. Beryl stopped her grooming and enquired why Gerome shook his head all of the time. “I was just going to savour the acacia nectar when I ran clean into you. It was a mistake of intensity and your hairy ears are like sticky magnets which is what caused my entry into the depths of your half cocked head. It did not help that you stuck your neck out and shook your head thus trapping me as I passed by.” By now Gerome was enlightened and recalled that he had indeed shaken his head but he thought that was just to get rid of the vibrations. Oh well, what does it matter when it happened, he thought. “You know Gerome, if your ears were not such a * they would be a comfortable place to spend the night but as it is they are not worth listening to,” commented Beryl and when Germome gave her a questioning and quizzical glance she continued and asked, “Why on earth don’t you ever clean them?” The disgruntled giraffe pointed out that he had no * with his ears and had only just thought about giving them a tongue pronging.groom. The remark he made prompted Beryl that she was supposed to be visiting The Shady Glade for her gentle wash'n'brush up and huff'n'blow and she quivered in anticipation. The time spent trapped in Gerome’s auditorium had been a waste and she was now rather stuck up with a resin like substance which had not come off properly and she decided to depart but before she went Beryl informed Gerome of her forthcoming appointment. With a sting in her tail intact she said, “Gerome, why don’t you give your ears the proper attention they require rather than the scant and airy fuzzy way you treat them." Gerome looked down his nose at Beryl and did not have to listen to what Beryl was about to say because he had just about heard it all before.

(I just wanted to say that Nurse Tuffy-Tail is based on my friend who has been shamfully treated by not just Tyrone but many others. And yes, another one just recently.) Puffing and panting Penelope Prickle-Bonnet climbed the last few feet of the steep hill. When she reached the top she sat and rested until her breathing and her heart rate slowed down to normal again. She thought that it was time to heed the advice she had been given about going on a healthy diet. Well, maybe tomorrow or perhaps even the next day - time would tell. Through her reverie the sound of someone calling out, “Penny,” brought her back to the present and she peered in the direction of the voice. “What is it?” she boomed and a blurred figure came closer and closer until it reached her. With a huge sigh, Pip Prickle-Bonnet leaned close to her ear and yelled, “Penny it’s me, your cousin Pip. You know, your eyesight and hearing are getting worse.” Penny hotly denied this and told him that she had heard and seen him but was miles away and deep in thought. “Mmmph,” he grunted, doubting her words. Changing the subject, something she was an expert at, Penny asked her cousin whether he had heard about Nurse Tuffy-Tail. Pip replied that it was all over and around and about. He went on to say that he had the version from the Horse’s Mouth. “What do you mean by ‘all over and around and about’?” asked Penny. Pip explained that the gossip had spread far and wide. Each time it was told the tale became farther removed from the true version of events. Penny retorted that she had it on good authority from a Rattertoui and Pip shook his head in disbelief. It was a well-known fact that the Rattertouis liked tale embroidery and he told her as much. She was about to defend her source and Pip quickly started to recount the official version of the sad saga. Pip informed Penny that Nurse Tuffy-Tail’s partner had gone from Portland on to Pastures New with a very young squirrel from the Faraway Forest. He just bounded off one morning without a ‘by-your-leave’ and left Nurse Tuffy-Tail to fend for herself. He hadn’t even left so much as a nut in the tree store! Penny gasped at this news and for the first time in her life was at a loss for words. Pip nodded and said that these things seem to happen more and it was too easy to get separated these days. He added that strong bonds were now needed to stem this sad tidal-flow and the consequent chain of events. He told Penny that Nurse Tuffy-Tail was just managing to bob along on the small income she earned from the National Hoot Service and was making ends meet by running Fur ‘n’ Hair Courses for those wishing to keep ahead in the field. Unfortunately, Dr. Hypocrites Hoot did not approve of her alternative methods and so being well qualified did not automatically mean that she was well rewarded. Apparently, poor Nurse Tuffy-Tail was getting herself deeper and deeper into a hole. With curiosity aroused Penny wanted to know the name of poor Nurse Tuffy-Tail’s ex-partner. Pip was unsure of this but he thought that it was ‘Tyrone’. This was a new name for Penny and she sat for a few moments repeating it out loud. Her cousin wondered what all the chanting was and she explained that with old age creeping upon her it was getting harder to retain things. Apparently it was the only way she knew of making things sink in! “Memories are made of enchanting moments,” Penny said with a smile on her tiny face. Pip chuckled as the mention of memory suddenly reminded him that he was going to coax Penny into upgrading her sight and sound equipment. Was his memory going too or had he just been very cleverly sidetracked? The latter seemed most likely. Penny enquired why the departed partner was not supporting Nurse Tuffy-Tail and Pip told her that it was not obligatory now for him to do this. Pip went on to say that Nurse Tuffy-Tail’s partner had well and truly strayed because his new partner was heavily with babies now. These would soon be a priority for him to support. This still didn’t satisfy Penny and she said, “Pip, it is not Nurse Tuffy-Tail’s fault that her partner has strayed.” Pip shrugged and told her that it was just the ‘Lore of the Land’. “Well it is a very silly Lore that doesn’t protect the innocent,” Penny said with much indignation. Still unsatisfied Penny demanded to hear more of the official gossip. Pip thought for a moment and decided to humour her. He told Penny that it was quite normal for the deserting party to have half of both the hard-earned nest egg as well as the family home. This had never seemed right to Penny, as it did not seem fair for the deserting party to have cake and be able to eat it too. They definitely did not deserve it. Pip had to agree on this occasion because Tyrone had not only taken his fair share but also the nut cache. Penny remarked, “So Pip, not only has he had the cake to keep and eat but he has also had the icing on the top.” With regret he remarked, “Yes, Penny. I am aware of this but as the cache had been taken poor Nurse Tuffy-Tail is considered totally spent. Even though Tyrone’s grasping actions are common knowledge, around and about, I’m afraid to say that, in the Eyes of the Law, Nurse Tuffy-Tail doesn’t have a paw to stand on.” Penny was totally needled by this and snapped, “He should be made to change his name, by Hop Pole, to Tyrant!” Suddenly, Penny wanted to know why the Sackcloths also came out with so much when they too were Runaway Rodents of the straying kind. Pip had no answer for this but with a little inspiration he declared that it must come through bad breeding. “I thought you wanted to know about Nurse Tuffy-Tail,” he added. Penny did but Nurse Tuffy-Tail’s tale had reminded her of the latest Sackcloth saga. Pip took a deep breath and sighed. In a very loud voice he continued by telling Penny that Sister Sally Sackcloth had been shamefully treated just like Nurse Tuffy-Tail. Her ‘life-long’ partner had left her but she had just managed to keep her squeak intact. Apparently, he went off to a neighbouring nest and all because Sister Sally was unable to bear his babies. It was a great surprise when he scampered away of his own accord because he was such a mouse - no one thought he had it in him. Sligo, as he was named, left Sister Sally to refurbish and maintain the material nest and when it was nearly all done and dusted he demanded his share. Penny was totally overwhelmed by this news and started to protest again but Pip said that there was more. “Be quiet Penny and listen so you can get the whole picture.” He carried on with the sad tale of Sally Sackcloth by telling her that Sister Sally had consequently become nest-less but she had just enough to keep her in borrowed board and lodgings. A young and affluent pair who knew nothing of its past turmoil had soon bagged her nest. They did realise though just how lucky they were to own such a beautifully kept, well built and unusual dwelling. It was unusual in as much as it was constructed from pieces of sacking – Hessian bags were a very rare building commodity now. These days, most new homes were very flimsily constructed with the latest materials – cardboard and paper. They definitely had no substance and were not built to last. The biggest problem was the damp and so these modern constructions soon disintegrated in the cold and damp. The young family gradually sensed a great sadness within their new home but the laughter and the patter of tiny paws soon lifted the gloom. Of course this was no great consolation for Sister Sally but she wished them well none-the-less. Her main problem now was keeping afloat because she, like Nurse Tuffy-Tail, was out of favour with Dr. Hoot and found it very difficult to keep her clinic running. Just to make matters worse, her well nurtured and grown up family had little or no time for her anymore. Penny stopped Pip and said, “I went to see her only last week and her clinic was empty - so, that explains it all.” Penny’s hackles went up as she very indignantly said that it seemed amazing to her how many of Sally’s ‘so called’ friends had deserted her at such a time. “No wonder she was looking sad, Pip. Sally was saying that you hadn’t been to see her for ages.” Pip began to look most uncomfortable but luckily Penny had not noticed. However, she did ask Pip why he’d stopped attending the clinic for his Prickly Heat Rash and rather sheepishly he replied that it had cleared up. “What about your current Sitting Tenants?” Penny demanded to know. Again he countered, this time with a little fib pointing out that the changing climate and diet had sent them hopping! Penny sighed and realised Pip could not be counted amongst Sally’s friends. Because he, like Penny, was adroit at changing the subject he told Penny that it was high time she went to Dr. Hoot for a hearing upgrade. Poor Pip was getting very hoarse with all the shouting because he was forced to yell in order that Penny would hear him. What made it even more trying was the fact that she constantly said, ‘Pardon’ following a question. Knowing how poor her sight was, Pip wondered how she had managed to see his sitting tenants and he told her that she now required glasses to get a better outlook on life. Penny was most indignant and denied that there was any problem with her main senses. Pip chortled and Penny said, “Pardon?” No matter how cross Penny made him he had to smile at her ways. In the firmest tone he could muster he said, “You must make an appointment with the necessary specialists Penny, for your own safety if nothing else.” In an attempt to make her feel less badgered, Pip explained that there was nothing wrong with the new extra sensory aids. “If it is only vanity that’s stopping you Penny, then you will be pleased to hear that they are very discreet these days,” he informed her. Sensing that he had her full attention he told her that little notice was taken of them because they were in such common use and, in some cases, even considered fashionable. As soon as he saw that Penny was starting to waver he carried on while he was still ahead. His persistence finally paid off and Penny agreed to make an appointment. “I will do it for you because I am heading out that way,” he told her. After a lull in conversation Penny asked what the huge object was at the bottom of the hill. Earlier that evening she had been quite unnerved when she had walked into it. Pip looked down the hill to where Penny pointed and told her that it was just a flat tyre. “No Pip, I mean the other object.” He looked again to where Penny pointed and explained, “Oh that is an old and discarded slipper.” Pip’s information inspired Penny to comment that it was rather like Sister Sally. He looked blankly at her and noticing his puzzlement she explained that there seemed to be a new trend. It entailed owning something and when it was no longer useful casting it away. “It is not a new trend at all, Penny. In fact it is just a part of life’s progress discarding any unwanted bits and pieces,” he informed her. Penny agreed with this but pointed out that she was just speaking ‘petaphorically’. Not having a clue what Penny meant he began to wonder why his cousin invented words when she probably hadn’t the faintest idea what the correct word meant in the first place. He was brought out of his reverie by Penny. “You would not discard me just because I was getting old and decrepit, would you Pip?” she implored. Pip was thoughtful for a moment and said, “I hadn’t thought of it quite like that.” “Well you have learnt something tonight,” Penny snapped which startled Pip because it was out of character for her to snap. However he regained his composure and remarked, “Yes, and you have almost learned to overcome your prickly pride. I guess we all still have much to learn even though we may think that we know it all.” This made Penny’s hackles go upright and she hotly denied being over-proud. In order to soothe her Pip said, “It was not meant as an insult,” and re-worded the remark about pride saying, “You shouldn’t worry what others might say about the way you look. You know you are a softie with a big heart and that is all that matters to me.” Penny blushed and told him not to be so silly. Pip was a little taken aback and said, “You obviously don’t see yourself as I see you,” and added, “I love you, no matter what.” The compliments rather flustered her but she thanked him graciously. “Just remember the old saying, Penny, ‘Cars and bikes may break my spikes but others’ bad thoughts won’t hurt me!’ It is a very profound old saying and extremely true,” and reminded her that he would get the appointment details to her in the usual manner via the ‘Worm Bellygraph’ service. “Next time we meet, Penny, you will most likely be in full working order again and we can go for a bread and milk banquet to celebrate,” he suggested. They both chuckled and Penny said that she thought they were going for one this evening. “It is too late now Penny. We have spent too much time putting their World to rights,” and he gave her a rueful smile. Realising that Pip hadn’t finished telling her about Nurse Tuffy-Tail, she was just about to ask him for the final instalment when Pip told her that he had to scamper and would catch her again soon. He bade her, ‘Farewell,’ and departed before she could say another word. The short-sighted hedgehog watched his hazy outline disappearing into the distance and yelled, “Good bye.” ++++++++ Curling up into a ball she rolled down the hill and when she was back on level ground Penny stood on her own four paws again. Just avoiding the discarded slipper she scampered into the safety of the nearby hedgerow. As bread and milk were not on the menu she dug out some grubs and satisfied her hunger – which was more than can be said for her curiosity! Penny kept thinking about what Pip had told her and when her meal was digested she said her prayers and curled up into a ball again. With all the night’s excitement the curled up hedgehog was soon sound asleep. At least in her world of dreams life was a bed filled with flowers and she was able dream in colours that suited her ideals. That night Penny dreamt that the castaway rubbish was being recycled. This was an innovation and so obvious that it was a wonder the idea had not already been thought of. In Penny’s dream it seemed that nests were roofed with rubber tiles made from discarded tyres and so they became more durable. Even so, a good roof over the head did not mean an eternal watertight guarantee - eventually the foundations would be undermined by rising damp. Thus a refurbishment would still be necessary. The following waking hours for Penny were filled with the joys of passing on her visionary dream in a constructive manner. Many jumped at the idea of home improvements and it would not be long, Penny thought wryly, before this new resource became thin on the ground. Of course, there were those who went overboard and re-tiled their whole nest in waterproofing material. It was to transpire that the whole idea was very short-sighted - or was it?