Went to my local neighborhood BW3 the other night to have a burger and watch the game, big surprise - WWE Pay Per View party going on!!! Yee freakin’ hah! Every damn TV - nothing but oiled up freaks shouting at each other and rolling around in completely non-gay ways. So I figured instead of leaving - what better time to mess with a room full of drunk, brain-dead wrestling fans. I found if you really want to piss them off, wait until the guy on their T-shirt is rasslin, walk up and say you saw that guy in a gay porn last week. And apparently people could vote online for who they wanted to see fight, which took forever, since most trailer parks still only have dial-up access. I thought - wow, there actually is something more lame to vote on than karaoke singers on a lame reality show. Now I’ll admit - I used to like wrestling… and then I turned 6. Really, how long can you sit and watch people NOT hit each other? I haven’t seen that total lack of hitting since this year’s Nebraska defense. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I slammed a couple Jager shots, grabbed the master remote, turned every TV to ‘Desperate Housewives’, and ran like hell.
