Anyone else sick of all the reality crap on TV? Pretty soon it will just be down to one show called ‘Who Hasn’t Been on TV yet’ and it’ll be me, three Amish guys, and the WNBA all-stars. And there’s nothing real about them. Let’s put up a bunch of unemployed college kids rent-free in a condo, and call it The Real World. Any college kids live like that? You want real, make those 10 losers share a 3-bedroom house, hit the plasma center for food money and have a kegger to make rent. The Bachelor - one guy dating 25 beautiful women, yeah, that’s real. How about a show where a guy tries to date two women without either finding out. There’s a show. The Bachelorette - a woman using a bunch of guys to get free dinners and gifts? That never happens. The Nanny shows - great idea to reward shitty parenting by paying them to be on TV. And how bad would that piss you off to spend months working your ass off on a great show like ‘Friday Night Lights’ only to realize five times as many people would rather watch washed-up has-beens dancing in goofy outfits every week and voting like the our future rests on it. And same for this ‘American Idol’ crap - how sad is it that 30 million people won’t get off their ass to vote for president but will spend 4 hours a week on the phone voting for the king of karaoke. Just what the world needs - more hack Britney clones. Doesn’t anyone realize that all the losers on now are the ones who sucked too much to make it the first FIVE times!
- But I’m sick of fighting it, so I’ve come up with my own reality show - I’ll combine ’Pimp My Ride’ and ’Wife Swap’ and call it ‘Pimp My Wife.’ Slap some fishnets and stripper heels on some soccer moms, spray paint some makeup and a couple bruises on, and drop them off on the corner. Come on, make daddy proud. This week’s challenge - How much will you do for $20? Wow, Debby, you really put the ‘ho’ in homemaker. Coming up next - my other new show, hoping it’ll be a bit hit - ‘Who wants to fuck a comic?’
