o0Tw1zt3dRaevyn0oFE2Mandy33 DNO If Owned's blog: "words inside of me"

I am but a shell that is now hollow throughout. What once was full of happiness and joy, now seems to all but be gone. I feel more sadness than what most should even know. Feeling out of place and lost more than anything now a days. The heart within me no longer exists as it once did. A soul lost in darkness and not knowing if light shall ever shine through again. Wanting to simply hide and stay away from society and it's inhabitants. At least that way this shell can never be hurt again.

                 PJ Page  12/16/2014     1:04am

There is but one I want to have here wrapped in my arms and laid beside me each evening as we hold one another tight. All I day I sit thinking about this lady and so wish there was not so many miles between us. I can not get this lady off my mind and she's always inside my heart. I ask all the time how did I get so lucky so as to of ever met her, but must say is no way I'd ever have it change any at all. ......

 I care not for the fame in life nor of money, for it truly can not buy that which means the most, LOVE. I do my best each day to just survive and make it to the next sunrise. I take things from one moment to the next and try to not worry over small things that truly doesn't matter, but at times it is quite hard to not let things get to you. Every day I just thank the Great Spirits for allowing me yet once again to open my eyes and carry on through the day. The beauty and wonder Mother earth has given unto us, we should all gaze upon and hold dear for we must protect her for our next generation coming up. I've learned that without my friends, I would probably not be here today. It's because of them I have not just simply gone and said fk it, and give up on this existence of mine. Family is most important but they are usually the first to stab you in the back while smiling the whole time doing so. I guess what I am trying to get across, is to hold those dear to you close and cherish each moment with them upon this planet. For not a single one of us are ever granted the very next minute....... Peace , Love , Light and Blessings )o(

 This world has changed so much over the past twenty years, and not for the better might I add. It seems so many these days have no more respect, common courtesy or love for their fellow humans. I was taught as a youngster to always treat others as I'd like to be yet seems now no one thinks like the old ways any longer. I ask myself all the time why everything seems to have gone down hill and I honestly truly can not answer that for it's a mystery unto me. You ask people how they are, or like this evening, go to try and help some one with their leveling on here and send a friend request to add them so you may go back and add that person into your family to help them. But instead of being appreciative, they go to your profile like you then turn right around and block you. Honestly, I Just Don't Know Anymore!!!

 In a world way back in time, there was once a knight who had everything and more he could have ever asked for. He had wonderful home with all the furnishings, a lady whose heart was all his, just as his was all hers, land that was fertile and full of trees and life. Then one day everything came to a crashing end when he learned his whole life had been nothing but a lie. He deserted his homeland and ran into the hills hiding from the world which only looked upon him as but an outcast and joke. He vowed one day he would get his revenge upon those who had wronged him and get back that which was truly his. He stayed hid for many years and just faded from memory of others as the days and evenings came and passed. Now all you hear are stories of how great and proud he once was before things fell apart, but as the title says, that was Long Ago.........

There are times when I simply wish I could go back in time and change so much in my sorry ecuse for an existnce. Sitting and asking myself each day just what 've done to be made to a have life alone and without the one who mnakes me happy. It's as if I stay in a zombie mode always searching for the answers I know I shall never find or learn. Having so much love with in me for this lady but having to be so far away is honestly killing me slowly with each passing day. For ll that can be said, is that I am Completely lost...................

Evidently it is quite very wrong how it is I feel about someone. Seems no matter what I do or how much I try in this very existence I have, I am always wrong for everything. I honestly don't care if it is wrong or not because this lady has my heart and is no one else I would rather have it than her. If I am I wrong, then may the Great Spirits condemn me because I'll be damn if I shall change just how and what I feel for this amazing lady!......

Is it wrong to care for someone, whom you know you can never have nor be with? Does caring for them so much, you'd give your life to prove just how much they mean to you, make you a bad person? While during the day or night when the only thoughts that cross your mind are of them, is it wrong at all? Is it wrong to want to hold them in your arms each night telling them everything will be alright? Is it wrong to want to be the Knight or their Protector? Is it wrong to love some one so much, it at times makes you feel as if nothing else even matters at all?....... These are but only a few of the questions I have right now

"HOW DO WE MEASURE?"

Is there a way to truly measure one's happiness and
joy in this life? Do we weight it upon a scale or use
some alcarhythm to determine it's value? These are just
a couple of the questions i have.

For with me, there would be nothing to weigh nor even
measure, because all i have is pain and loneliness in
this life. Not being able to wrap my arms around the
one i love at night while we sleep.

Every one keeps saying unto me, don't worry because
you will find love and happiness. Yet all i seem to
come across is more sorrow and heart aches as i go
and continue on in life all alone.

Maybe the master of destiny has seen fit for me to
only live out life as a nomad. Journeying through this
existence as only a man of words, but never at all,
truly finding the joy i seek out.

What ever the case may be, i just know that all this
loneliness is taking it's toll upon both my mind and
my heart. Wanting so much what everyone else seems to
have in their life, a one true love!!

P.J. (Lil Poet)
1/24/08
2:16am