7166137's blog: "What's on my mind"

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. Often attributed incorrectly to Alberti Einstein.

What I experienced this evening was such a coincidence. Started with a 7 dollar home repair that took two trips to Hone Depot to accomplish.

While there the second time, a man asked me about my walking stick, especially the rubber tip on the end. He was also using one similar to mine, but had a different tip he said didn't give good grip. He asked if I knew where to find replacement tips for his stick. I noted that his was by Black Diamond, which makes the tips I use.

After we both got what we needed done, we went outside to find we were parked side by side. I pulled out an unopened bag that has two brand new tips. I bought two bags more than 3 years ago and this bag was unopened. It had the price tag still on it. Five dollars and this was one happy man. He mentioned about how there was some reason we were put there at the same time this evening. I would not have even thought anything of it except this isn't the first time.

Three weeks ago, I was returning from Baltimore for the Fort Mead Chief Petty Officer Pinning ceremony, It was Friday evening, just south of Washington DC on I-95, and I decided to get a cup of coffee and use the restroom. This got me out of my car, and since it was going to be only a short distance, I used my stick instead of my walker. When I came out of the restroom, I got near the counter and was asked by a customer about why I use that stick and not a cane? That led to me demonstrating how it can easily be adjusted for any height, is very strong yet light weight. She said that her mother uses a walker and is always bent over that she thinks it's hurting her back to use it, for her leg problems. Since I wasn't worried about getting back into a snail pace traffic jam, I offered to show them to her mother if they had time, which they did.

Outside, I was introduced, and she got to try it out. I adjusted them to a lower height and she fell in love with them. She wanted to know where to find them, and I told her at any outdoor recreation or sports store. They're called Trekking Poles and come in a wide variety of styles, colors and designs, and they are all very easily adjusted.They also mentioned that they didn't like the walker, and I got mine out, and showed them the "dampeners" I have installed on mine to keep the wheels from spinning so freely. Another win. The daughter took notes for the next time they see her doctor. May this really work out for her.

This earlier "coincidence" wasn't a simple chance. I can trace back events in my life, going back more than seventeen years leading up to this. Every single one of these events were part of what had me at that fast food place at that time, and on that day. Two of my personal friends, Greg and Deseret, I can attribute directly to the series of events that led to this coincidence. God seriously had a hand in this.

May both of these people I may never meet again, have a better outlook in their lives.

I had made a lot of friends with the Virginia Employment Commission, Virginia Peninsula Work Link, Paralyzed Veterans of America, Wounded Warrior Project as well as Navy Fleet and Family Services, Virginia Department of Aging and Rehabilitative Services (DARS) and the Soldier For Life program. Countless HR people from many local companies have seen me as a fixture at job fairs and several Virginia Transition on the Go conferences, one of them had Virginia's governor make an appearance and speech. 

Next week there is a job fair at the Fort Eustis Club. I have to attend it but this time I will not have any copies of my resume. Instead I will carry in a handful of thank you cards to hand out to whomever is there that was part of my most unique path during this time. 

Two weeks ago my counselor at DARS called me with a job posting I might be very interested in and it was very close to home. We submitted an application using indeed.com and I got a confirmation email. Only nine minutes later, the company contacted me requesting I come in for an initial screening. I called and set it up after last week's Transition on the Go work shop. I was already dressed for an interview. Have you ever heard of a company contacting somebody that fast after applying for a job?

I had to hand write an application and take a logic quiz that was timed. I didn't complete it but must have scored well. I was called in for an in person interview Tuesday . That went well but they told me to expect contact after one or two weeks. Wednesday I was called with a verbal offer. Thursday I received the offer in writing. I told them I have a trip to Washington D.C. for a Soldier Ride including a tour of the White House. I will be available to start April 10th. They understand and anticipate my arrival.

I didn't mention this in December, but there was one job fair 3 miles from my house. There, more than half the staff and HR people from all local companies recognized me. I actually got five hugs from some of them. Some of them have been present at every event I have been to, from Richmond/Chesterfield to Virginia Beach, and so many locations much closer.

I had self described my occupation on LinkedIn as "Professional Pen Collector, and Unpaid Job Fair Consultant. I gave a lot of really good feedback for each one of them, especially the ones that didn't ask for it.All the presenters at Job Fairs and Conferences speak in HR Language. That's fine if you have that in your background, but while most are asking to de-militarize resumes and cover letters, much of what they say is way over the average job seeker. I learned how to translate this, and at least would share this with people at my table or close to me.

There are some truths about job searching I have come up with, and this will be only a few of them.

1. There is no such thing as a bad job fair to attend. Even if none of the companies are local, or seem to have something that might interest you. Walk up to any table that has no other job seeker, instead of getting in the longest line of what seems to be the most popular employer. You will work on your people/soft skills because you might talk about anything, and that will help make interviews go better. Case in point. The company wasn't local, they looked like heavy equipment operators and maintainers, and out of town. When they asked what I was looking for, I came up with, "I have a hard time deciding which I want to get back into, Ballroom Dance Instructor, or Circus Trapeze Artist." That job fair was too big and there was no assigned layout for companies, and since I can't move that fast, I only got to see about half of the companies.

2. There is no such thing as a bad job to interview for. I had one that by title didn't seem to be interesting to me, or something I would be very good at without a lot of training, BUT whomever submitted the job posting, included an IT Certification that I have, and very few people have. I knew after the first few questions that I wouldn't get hired, but I continued, because you never know if something I say about my skill set might remind one of the panel about one of their friends who might have something that would be good for me. In those cases, at the end, when they ask if I have any questions, I asked them if they might know another part of their company might be interested in what I am good at.

3. Job openings start with a supervisor or manager who has little or no HR experience. They give HR the requirements for the job, which then usually gets translated into a job posting that might not reflect the majority of what the supervisor or manager needs. When looking through job postings, be very open minded about what might look like only a little of what you're already good at. Why not apply, and at least try to get a phone interview. You can then use the above paragraph to add your skill set and ask them if somebody at the company might be needing someone like you.

4. The vast majority of presenters at Job Fairs are not decision makers, but they often are the first person or part of the team that will screen hundreds of resumes down to the handful that will get interviewed. Learn what they need to get your resume into that group, and get more interviews.

5. Get to know as many strangers as you can, and be yourself. Be interested in their stories, and be an interesting person at the same time. Often times, and this happened to me in February, was a company that interviewed me told me that the position I was being considered for needed more of somebody that could get along with the command, and not as much as a technology guru. I had met this manager a few years ago, so he knew my experience and expertise, which was way above what they needed. He also knew from how many in his office knew me that I was the type of person who would have been an ideal fit, and with only the security clearance in the way, I probably would have been given an offer on the spot. Nobody can make the Office of Personnel Management (OPM) do clearance work faster, but that has been one of the two biggest obstacles with my job searching in this area.

One of the presenters once commented that I might want to apply to work with Veterans and the Virginia Employment Commission, but despite being able to write this about job searching, and having a Veteran background, I still like fixing things.This job will be a lot of that. They provide data storage solutions for companies of any size nationwide and now branching overseas. Travel might be part of it, and I would be first to sign up for that. So it's not at the top of the list for what a Navy DS should do after retire, but without a clearance, it's a pretty good starting point.

EPILOG

The epilog is my favorite part of any movie, but that's not to be discussed at this time. After three weeks, I got my first full paycheck. Tuesday, the 17th day, soon after arriving, I was called into HR. I was let go, and the only thing I was given was, "We don't think you're a good fit." I asked what I could do with other companies in the future, they would tell me nothing.

I have since phone interviewed at three places, but none have called me in for an in-person interview. I have been to four job fairs in the past six weeks, and have one scheduled for July and one for August. No new companies. I'll just say hi to those I already know. I'll meet the replacement HR people at the others. Both will get me out of the house and talking face to face with people so that will be good.

I have had a lot on my mind, and I have opposite feelings about some issues that put me in an odd place, I hope I can explain.

I am a Veteran with almost 24 years total active service and six deployments. On the surface that's been one awesome experience that few get to the have the opportunity to do. I am the only one to reach the rank of Chief Petty Officer, and to stay in until retirement. My mom's brother was a Sailor, my Father and his Father were Sailors, my twin brother was a Soldier and my grandfather's brother was a Soldier.

I have a service connected disability, from a rare neurological condition that requires more thought to take steps. When I was younger, I could tackle difficult jobs, climbing, crawling underneath or inside and behind US Navy ship equipment cabinets. Now walking is difficult and trying to talk makes walking almost impossible because I have to think every step I take.

I receive medical care through the VA. Through a strange series of events, I called the Veteran's Crisis Line, because I was going through what I felt was a crisis. The person on the other end of the phone could not talk about anything other than suicide, but to make them happy, I made an appointment with the VA Mental Health clinic. They gave me a questionaire asking if I served in certain areas of the world between certain dates. Seemed simple enough.

That questionaire was the only thing two doctors used to diagnose me with severe PTSD and depression. They were preparing to do an "intervention" and admit me into the psych ward against my will. They refered to my disabiliy as an injury that could only have happened in a combat zone. I got into an arguement with them about their PhD, indicating that 1. they had read a few more books than I have and 2. they were not asking me about me. Their response was "statistically speaking......" and I stopped them. I am not a statistic. Check my ID Card, that word is not there. I told them that why I called the Crisis Line was because of problems I had in my household, there was so much hostility being aimed at me by a family that is close to each other, but decided to blame me for any problems they have. I then got labeled with anger management and adjustment disorders. I did not get admitted, but they would not let me go until I got a prescription for what I call "Happy People" pills. I have that bottle of pills, unopened and unused. That was six years ago.

I had been a computer tech my entire career inthe Navy, finishing as a Subject Matter Expert Field Service Tech for a computer system that is on every ship. I could handle any hardware, software, and even a few operator issues, including full systems inspections following new installations, periodic inspections known as INSURV (Board of Naval Inspection and Survey), and I would ride a ship at sea three to six days training the techs, sys-admins and operators to prepare them for deployment. A Captain of one Guided Missile Cruiser didn't want me to disembark at the end of my time.  I could troubleshoot over the telephone, by email, through chat and even in person. When it came time to retire, I was supposed to come back the next day as a civilian doing the same exact job. A hiring freeze in 2009 went into effect and I was the first one affected by it.

I got a job working an IT Help Desk for a very large international network. The job only required one IT Certification, Security+ which is a DoD requirement to have that job. I had that certification walking in the door, as well as A+ and Network+. I had solid troubleshooting skills, my supervisor knew that and put me into every possible queue because I could handle any problem. The problem with goverment contracts is through the bidding, companies make promises called "Service Level Agreements" which includes time spent on problems through to resolution. I was so good handling eventhe most irate callers, they would keep me on the phone because I not only fixed more problems than most techs, I explained the causes and gave them advice on how they can either prevent it in the future, or handle it on their own if that's possible. While I did get more customer positive feedback reports than anyone, I got no recognition for it, because I was not meeting the Service Level agreements, which were always changing. I was even told that to save time, any time they need to reboot their machine, I should have them push and hold the power button until it turns off, then power it back on immediately. I am an A+ technician. You do that as a last resort.

When I left that job, my clearance was suspended, not revoked. One year ago, I started a new job that required a lower clearance, and I was granted access to be able to fulfill my responsibilities. This was also a contractor job, and this time the client did not meet me until I showed up on my first day. There were concerns about my disability, and someone was trying to create a situation where the term, "reasonable accomodation" could not be possible because the client was asking for something that no company made, and to custom make one would be cost prohibitive. At seven weeks, my clearance was not reactivated, and the company used that to dismiss me.

I have now been 20 months not working as of today, minus the seven weeks last winter. I have done more than 100 job applications this year, about one dozen phone interviews, and seven in person interviews. I got one job offer in June, but that fell through only because of the clearance. Another phone interview ended as soon as they found out my clearance was not active. This is a high concentration DoD area, many IT jobs need a clearance more than they need skill. It's reached a point that if an interviewer were to ask me, "Why our comany?" my answer could be "Because 100 other companies have said, no, so why not try you guys?"

I have points of contact with the State Employment Commission and the area Workforce Connection. Virginia has the highest Veteran employment rate in the nation, which is awesome except when you're part of the less than 3% of Veterans who are still looking. I have a counselor with another State agency that works with disadvantaged people like myself, as well as people who have been out of the workforce more than 15 years raising children or over age 55. Virginia also has a program Virginia Values Veterans which was started by a non-partisan assistant to our previous governor and he's kept the job with our current governor. 

I have been to more than twenty job fairs this year. Some HR Managers and recruiters have gotten to know me so well, yet none of them can find anything. I changed my LinkedIn job title to "Professional Pen Collector and Unpaid Job Fair Consultant." One of the job fair types I have a problem with is named Recruit Military. Their Co-sponsor is Disabled American Veterans, DAV. They do both in person and online virtual career fairs. The ironic part about these is the locations they choose. Never where parking is convenient at all, having a handicap makes me need to sit down as soon as I get inside. I ask why do they have the DAV be a big part of it, why don't they do something to accomodate actual Disabled American Veterans like myself? Standard response was similar to, "the needs of the many......" so that's one I skip now. Their virtual career fairs are like being in several lounges at once, and seeing so many people ask the same questions that I can't see responses from HR. They also don't ever have companies that are hiring locally so those too I skip. 

I dislike that companies that are hiring locally want a clearance walking in. It's like they want another company to pay for the clearance. It's frustrating, but I don't have anger management issues about it.
I am sad that I don't feel like I'm a part of something in real life. I live more than 600 miles from my family. If I want to go visit for Christmas, it's like I have to stop everything with my job searching. 50+ emails from so many online recruiters. Either they're not in my field, they're not in my area, or they require a clearance before I'll be even considered.

Having no PTSD, and no depression, but being labeled with both by the VA, it bothers me when someone on Facebook puts the Suicide Hotline as their status asking people to put it on theirs. The 27 Pushup challenge to. I hate seeing both of them, I want to speak out how that does not apply to me. Yet I don't want to be inconsiderate from those who have either or both. I feel stuck.

One other thing that happened was a friend who I used to talk on the phone a lot. We could talk all day about just about anything, we could make each other laugh and get through whatever. I had that friend on the phone when I was purchasing dress clothes for job interviews and such. I had a hard time selecting dress shirts, because I wanted bolder colors. She was talking me into pale colors, and trying to pick out a couple or three ties. I mention that problem I have with being able to talk and walk. I had been on my feet for a long time, I was getting brain tired and my legs needed a break too. I don't remember the words I used, but it ended that friendship totally on the spot. 

I don't have places to go to get out and interact with people. I don't have friends or family that live near by. I have reached the point that I have become comfortable with my isolation. It's not lonliness, that would add to depression that I don't have. If I didn't own a house with a mortgage, I would have moved back home by now and at least had family close by. I don't have the means for any of this to end.

Please don't suggest that I see Mental Health again, even if that's you're field. This took a lot to write down, I hope I did the right thing. I could write ten times as much to fill in the details.

I won't say this will be the last one, because I thought up the last three in one day.
My earliest memories were things when I fell down, or tried and failed to do something, I remember my dad saying to me crying, "it's not the end of the world."

Is there a chance to try again?

Is there a better way to go about it?

Is there something better to do instead of this?

Can it be forgiven?

Can I take lessons learned and try to help others?

I didn't realize just how much I have done that in my entire life. And I did that too here. I have had leaders that followed this as much as they could, and I had some who had a zero tolerance policy for anything.

Before I figured out how to cherry bomb and get the inferno every time, I failed at least 20 times. It used to be required at level 56 going to 57 so I did get it done for that level, but I don't remember just how I did it. I also failed to get the first time I tried, 5000 and 10,000 likes. The 10K I changed to 9,999 because I wanted to go for a 4 digit number, it seems so much smaller that way.

One of my pet peeves on here is the achievements for being top ten in points for as many as 100 occurances. Sure people want to get those achievements, but others want to just get it a few times, triple threat can be a pain when others play harder more often, so on days when someone doesn't make it, and has fewer days to get the three, the whole "It's not the end of the world" comes in as a consolation. This also plays into the two most recent additons, about Keeping Score and Does it Matter? I won't repeat any of that, they both are long enough by themselves, but I will take time to pay tribute to the source of this, my father.

The best way to describe everything he is, is to describe each of his five sons, because each of us took something that he was good at, and became masters at, in our own way. This is not to say that my dad is not a master at anything, he is so diverse when you get to know every little intracacy about him. Many people in his life got to see only part of his this huge persona.

Frank, the oldest. He is the most patriotic of us five. He served 12 years in the Army National Guard, finishing OCS and being pinned a 2nd Lieutennant. My father taught us to salute the flag when we saw one, and he would use his shoe shine kit on our shoes when we were little. Also, my father took up bowling in his 20's, Frank has it as his life's passion. He could have an apartment in the back of the pin setters area and live forever. Despite having this same neurological condition, he still bowls. Dad was a great bowler, my brother is an awesome bowler. Frank scored a 300 and one 800 series.

Me, the second and Junior, I get from him serveral things, the most apparant is the service in the US Navy, while he did 4 years, I served almost 24 years. He was able to visit me on each of my ships, and got got to sail when my entire family came on a Family Day Cruse. The one thing that I know I got that my brothers didn't get, was the keen ability to figure things out. I tell job interviewers that I have a Masters Degree in Figure it Out, and my father does too. Dad was good at fixing things, and I could fix things when he couldn't.

Howard, the third, is the outdoorsman, and the environmentalist. Being in the outdoors, hunting, fishing, or just plain hiking has always been something we did as a family, with my dad leading the way. One fishing trip involved four miles hiking each way, to extremely remote places that perhaps as few as 50 people have ever been to. While I and the 4th brother also spent time outdoors with dad, Howard has by far done the most. He worked as an environmental engineer with the State of New York, mostly taking care of the Mohawk and the Erie Canal, he has gone on to other outdoorsy work. My father was a good fisherman, through the ice, on a boat, on the dock, or in a small stream, but Howard is the trophy fisherman.

Charles (Chuck) the fourth, is the athlete, teacher, and gardener, which he shares with my father. My father played one season in college as a goalie for a community college, and recorded a then record number of "saves" and named to National All-Star team. Chuck was the left footed place kicker who could be a backup quarterback, receiver and defensive back. He was in basketball, and leading scorer for both sports. On the track and field, he was a high jumper and anchor for the 4 by 400 meter relay, usually the last race of any track meet.His senior year, he was a triple MVP.

William (Bill) the fifth, is the businessman. My father managed a small factory in an industrial city, and had to be keen with so many business decisions, and he was pretty successful in stock investments over time. Bill, is a CPA for a major firm, I won't name it, or what city it's in, but he is an Ivy League graduate and very successful. Bill was also into sports, same as Chuck, but golf as well, which my dad had as a hobby. He and Chuck were both place kickers, and after he graduated, the retired their common number "1".

My dad got to be all of these things, and a bit masterful in many of them, but each of us got to take parts of his persona and turn them all into somthing so much more impressive. He like me, is a Scorpio, so it's from him that I get the charm. There was one former friend on here who was trying to get me to become a chick magnet, and didn't realize that I already was and I got that from dad. He and I both (and my brothers too) try to remain modest about all of our accomplishments. 

After I wrote that essay about Does it Matter, I was grocery shopping. For some reason, I was reminded of two sayings I got from each of my parents, These aren't famous quotes, but they are good. I'll write my mother's first.

Don't Keep Score. It's when siblings start saying things are unfair if their brother got this, or their sister got that. My mother told me that it generated from her mother's family, in which there was, according to her, a lot of jealousy, and some of that led to my grandmother being an alcoholic in her later years. There would be no way for me to understand any of what she kept inside, and I know my mother probably only knows very little.

On Fubar, I treat how many likes I get, how many rates I get, how many famps I'm in, and how many times I am Cherry Bombed in a way to not get caught up in it. In me early days on here, I would count how many likes I gave and look at how many likes I received. I would go for weeks without getting even 100 likes in a single day. To counter that, I try to keep in mind to expect nothing in return, and be appreciative as you can, of anything you do get back, especially if it's far more than you can give back. 

I am part of a Rate Club, and have been with it since its inception. I have seen people belly aching about "they didn't like me" and others, and I would get asked to monitor if someone likes/rates me. I had to tell them that the more you get caught up in this, the more miserable you can become. Some are removed because they don't contribute at all, yet they are active on other ways on the site. It's sad that there has to be scorekeeping even for this.

One of my pet peeves is the achievements for being in the Top Ten for points up to 100 times. While people are trying to complete this, others are trying to get the triple threat so they can level. It was largely why I put off going for levels 64 then eventually 65 and the crown at 66.

One of the hardest to deal with is Cherry Bombing.I was going to write a whole blog about just that, but I can summarize it with Two Rules for Cherry Bombing.

1. Nobody NOBODY owes you a bomb. When you ask in the Shout Box for one, NO, is a perfectly acceptable answer.

2. Nobody NOBODY owes you a thank-you.

Sadly, it seems that people expect others to play this the same way they do, and can get upset when they don't. I often have a set plan when I am bombing, and I try to make it something different each time to get a wider variety of people. Think about this. If you want more people to treat you kindly on here, wouldn't it be better to treat them better? I don't get any increase of personal worth for writing this essay, but I do want to give tribute to my mother, who turned 75 a few weeks ago, is one of the most generous, forgiving, accepting and accomodating people on the entire face of the earth. This lesson about fairness has not gone unnoticed.

And as a footnote, taking this to real life. There needs to be times to keep score, and times to just let it go. Keeping score to get the best in a business world and employing the best, but letting things ride out to maybe find something better in someone by letting someone be WHO they are. Find a better fit for someone, instead of riding them into the ground because they can't do the one thing you "need" the most. 

I have thought about writing this one for more than a year, and I want to capture every nuance I can to express how I feel about being on this site. When I say, Does it Matter?, I am asking about whatever you are trying to do on here. It could be "What Matters Most" or "Is it Worth it?" Many of these I had to think for myself as I have spent the past nearly five years with this account, and probably more than three years with my original back in the Lost Cherry and Cherry Tap days. I saw both of those transitions with that account. I credit this title to the movie Meatballs, starring Bill Murry, when he was asking the kids at his camp, who were lower class than the kids of a rival camp who were upper class, coming from families that had money. He got into a rant, ending with him repeating, shouting, "It Just Doesn't Matter!" This may just be my eighth Life Motto.

I let myself get into wanting to be higher in the lifetime ranks. This is the one thing I focus on the most, so I have to ask myself, Does This Matter. I started tracking in August 2015 when my rank was in the 700's. I made it my goal to reach 250, because I like level 39, I would be able to rate them an 11, and help them level. I didn't have a date set for reaching it, and over time I inched my way up. As I went along, I gathered a handful of friends who, when they saw this, got interested in their own lifetime rank. What places this into this blog is while I am passing people who have left the site, yet are still on the list, I started passing friends I have made along the way. I'm happy moving up, but I am not wanting to replace someone I like in their spot, so I took the time to tell them that. What I learned about reaching the top 250 was that whatever lifetime rank somebody is, has nothing to do with how great they are, and that includes myself. I do have a few cheerleaders wanting me to now get into the top 200, and that's nice, but I don't want to boast as I get there. I passed one of my cheerleaders, and many of them passed me, with me passing one of them again. I am not at all upset that I am not top 200 yet because I would be at 200 right now, if I didn't coach any of them along, to be able to pass me. It is ok, and I am happy for them.

Along with the lifetime ranks, there is the Daily and Weekly ranks. While I like being on the first page, especially the upper half, I've come to accept when I am on the lower half. The top ten guys can choose to have their name red. This past winter, I got a new job, had a few extra dollars in my pocket, and made the decision, to just go for anywhere in that top ten. I only wanted a red name, and I wanted it only once. I didn't want what I called the "King of the Hill Club" to all drop off, just to be included and welcomed for a short while. What also made this possible was several weeks planning. Making my own banner, running lots of boomerangs with Famplifers, boosting my family and adding high ranking people to it. Several wanted to trade and I told them to look at my banner, see my goal, and asked them to remember me during those seven days and try to add me to as many of theirs as possible. I won't name who it was, but after day one, I was scolded for only wanting a red name, and that I should go all out into being Number One for the week, after all, that is its own achievement. I had to ask myself, was it worth it, and Did it Matter? I was amazed at how much popularity I really had on this site, because I had very VERY high ranking members add me to their FAMPs, and said it was ok, they knew I had too many to be add to mine to be able to repay. Thinking about this, they themSELVES, had asked the same question, with or without realizing it, "Does it Matter?" They must have decided that if it mattered to me, then for once, it would matter to them. I did get that red name, I did get that number 1 spot. So, I had a new question to ask myself, "Was it Worth it?", and I found out that for me, it was. I had not lost touch with the people I have known here for many years, and I have a new set of friends who will just come into my shout box and say hello.

 It may seem to some that my level is one my biggest does it matter, yet for me it really isn't. It was while I was coming up through the ranks, and especially when I was reaching the high 50's. I still remember how much work it was to get from level 60 to 61, two achievements and one non-achievement were all needed, each one was very difficult, and I am proud of myself for having reached that milestone before they took them away. I got my first Crown at 62 and again at 63, but when they removed those hard achievements (I'll tell you if you ask what they were), a LOT of people did the easier steps, and had what was needed for the level 63 crown. It was a mad dash that day. Of all the achievements and requirements needed for leveling in their original state, the only one I never got to do was the 36 hour White Knuckler. Since it is not an achievement, neither is the 12 or six hour versions, there would be no point to prove to myself that I could do it. When 64 came out, I had all the points required, but did not want to fight for the Double Deuce, so I didn't even try the Happy Hour Inferno, because to me, it was not worth it. Then level 65 came out with the monster 19,000 ability points, and 110 billion points. Little by little, I earned achievement points, and got to where if I did the HH inferno, I would get the rest of the achievement points to level. Also, many of the friends who joined me along my journey had little by little caught me, and a few crowned at level 64 and 65. I then felt it mattered to at least get the HH inferno, since I was coaching so many into earning it for themselves very successfully, I had not run one bomb in nearly a year. So it had to matter to me enough to get not one, but three happy hours, and make my run. Each one was so successful that I made it matter to me to record on video how I did it, and demonstrate it. Two videos were made by me, and during the second, demonstration, I did earn HH inferno, I did earn level 64. So with 65 as top, and needing nothing more than Triple Threat, I made that my goal, because at this point, it mattered, and was worth it.

I leave the above unfinished because this next one is very hard for me to be "worth" it or matter. When level 65 came out and the Triple Threat, they also came out with achievements for being in the top ten points time after time, after time. At that instance, nothing at all about leveling was worth it to me, so it then did not matter. Triple threat was what I needed, at this point, and since I had built a lot of friends, an army if you will, I did choose to go for it. Three consecutive days with back to back Happy Hours. What had come about, was this mattered to more people than it did to me, I could name some of them, but I am thankful enough for each of them. I won't go into details about how the Triple Threat was earned, it was not like anyone else did so I'll tell you if you ask. I was saddened by the creation of level 66 what I call early, because with my plan, I would have reached 65 as crown just 4 days after 66 was created. With the 19000 points reduced to 17000 points, a few dozen people got to level 65 ahead of me, but did not earn a crown. I really wish they would think things through the impact. While it's nice to show what order I earned each of the higher levels, I would have like to have earned 65 in the order I earned it. I think I had a status something like, Some people got Level 65 "on the cheap". Back to the leveling mattering, the new level 66, besides points, is 100% things you have to do yourself, and nobody can help you. Each one of them takes work, yet none of them have time constraints. I made it my point to work as hard as I could to complete those, because a new thing that now mattered, was being able to not just crown, but to be in the top 25. With a bit of luck with the bonus, and being one of the few to know how to take advantage of it, I finished level 66 with the points being the last part.

I did some thinking just now, while writing this, I cannot even see my Shout Box. I want Fubar to change the name to Whisper Box, because what you write in there is only seen by one other person, while a Shout Box, is more of saying something in a Lounge, but I digress. While I am writing, I am not going to anyone's pages, I am not seeing people with questions in my Shout Box, so for the time being, I am not doing what I like to do the most on here, and that is to help people level up, and that is ANY level. It could be to help them get more likes, help them get some owners, some ability points, or figure out how to do some of the peculiar things on here to complete achievements when they become important after level 60. I will not take a break from writing, and do a little socializing, and perhaps write a little more later.

For one day, the lifetime points mattered, because I was one of the few to take advantage of the bonus, and shot up from 71st to 19th overnight.  Two day point total was huge, but this one goes right back to it doesn't matter. I very rarely look at someone's lifetime point rank, but to some people it matters, it's important to them that they are at the top of that leaderboard. The same thing goes for the top ten daily/weekly rank to have what some covet dark red name. It matters to some that they are there all the time. To others, being at the top level all the time matters. I don't know what level 67 will bring, I only know that they always credit points earned from when you got to the current level, so that part I'll have covered. I will have to decide for myself, does it matter?

Do you look at someone on this site and form an opinion of them based on any of the above? I used to, because I would think many were stuck up because they didn't like me back after I liked them, or wouldn't accept my friend request. I do remember that reaching level 40, a flood gate opened, and I got friend requests from a lot of the top TOP ranking people. I would get caught up in how "great" somebody was because what level they were above me, or how many fans and friends they had compared to me, or how long they had been on this site compared to me, since my old account can't be used at all for this one, those few years are lost, plust the few years in between.

Another thing I sometimes catch myself doing, is glancing at somebody's top family, because those six are the most important people on here, to them. I don't remember who it was, or when it was, but when I saw my profile photo on somebody's page it meant a lot. Even if we were both in the low 20's levels. Over time, long after the level 37 One Hundred Family add requirement, I stopped asking anyone to add me to their family. And I also believe that I have not once asked someone to place me in their top family, but it has happened, and I see it more and more. I'll sometimes take a look at "who has me in their family" and I'm amazed at the number, and who has me.

I wrote my seven (now maybe eight) life mottoes blog because as I was going through these levels, it was much longer and harder back them (I'll explain if you ask) and the one thing I learned was to not think of mySELF in terms of what level I was, what my daily/weekly/lifetime rank was, or how many fans/friends I had, or how many profile comments I had. This was a very tough thing to accomplish, and sometimes I catch myself doing it again. I see people come to me in desperation because they started a tough achievement that has a time constraint, and didn't really plan it very well. If they have money invested through buying bling and power ups, then I sure don't want anyone to lose what they already put into it, but I can't just finish what somebody started every time it happens. I do love to help people level, or figure out stuff. Since there is no higher level for me, and I didn't want a higher level for more than one year, I would treat helping some level up, as a vicarious way of reliving going through that level myself. I would explain what that level was like, since almost all requirements have changed, and in some instances, I have screen shots of the old requirements. People are amazed. I try to explain this concept of self worth on here, when someone is going for a tough achievement to work on a new level, and I will often ask them, "Does it Matter?"

Fifteen years ago, the first of the symptoms started. I probably noticed it earlier than I would have because it started while I was running in the neighborhood to practice for the semi-annual PT Test. I was finishing 1.5 miles in slower times and could not believe I could not do it any more.
A couple years before that, ex wife #4​ sensed something and sent me to have a doc look at it, but since I was able to get around good, and still run, it didn't go beyond that.

Looking further back, I had two people, ex wife #2 noticed something when we were dancing more than 20 years ago, and a shipmate noted that he could pick me out in a crowd because of how I walked different. That was close to 30 years ago.

This thing I have, I have had my whole life. I remember running on the flight deck of the Kearsarge, shipmate Chris was trying to encourage me to take longer strides to be able to run faster. In 1994, I failed the PT Test by a few seconds, but passed with excellent on the run portion after six months with what was loosely called the fat boys club. The one skinny runt who looked so out of place.

fDiagnosis for this was also just as slow. The first neurologist didn't say specifically but after my first tests ruled out any condition that was life threatening, he told me he thought I had ALS. No diagnostic tests were able to find anything. On Orthopedic specialist actually put in my record that I had Cerebral Palsy, and had to explain that several times. 

The progression of this is extremely slow. Try to imagine a weight on your toes that makes you drag your foot with each step. Couple that with wearing several pairs of socks so your lower leg muscles can't relax all the way.  Nothing about this is painful, but people think it is. Other's inadvertently associate physical retardation with mental retardation. To make up for the lower legs neurological malfunctions, the upper legs do all the work. I can't run at all, yet I have the muscle tone of a long distance runner, from the waist down.

This is genetic. Probably the one thing going for me is that I didn't spread it any further with children. It's fortunate that it did not affect any blood relatives that I know of. Statistically, and there really isn't much to go with on this one because this condition is so rare, at the onset of the symptoms, most are in a wheelchair at fifteen years. I can't speak for my twin brother  on this one, but I am in no hurry to get me one, or a motor scooter.  The so called experts say this is muscle weakness but the opposite is true. I have to think out each step, so talking while walking will slow me down even more. I can't ask anyone to go through life always walking as slow as I do. One good thing about having a twin with this, my ex wife #5 used this to find the condition, and after a new genetic test, it was confirmed.

Getting around is tough. After sitting or laying the first few steps are very awkward, but over time, the legs loosen up and it gets better. Not much faster but better. I get people offering to open a door but I don't like to make them wait. Someone behind me think's they're doing a favor by pushing the automated door open button but that messes me up, so I have to stop and tell them to just go past me. I know people mean well so I have to smile and be thankful.
All of this makes me not want get out and about. I can do some job searching at home, but I still have to put on the monkey suit for a job fair or an interview. Interview techniques? Throw them out the window, little of what i say is heard in my skill set or experiences. What comes in loud and clear is potential liability and what I said at the beginning how people associate the physical with the mental. 
I have closed off my social life to that which I do online. I do have to grocery shop and since I always go to the same store, I am recognized and the baggers know to not give me many bags with little in each, I can handle it. I also have reduced my large house to just the areas I really need, nobody has been upstairs in more than a year. I am an introvert who has always wanted to feel included or be invited. These past few months after losing that job, I have almost become a hermit, and I need to figure out how to get out. I don't want to take any job that comes along for this and be as unhappy as I was at the last one.

To avoid confusion, I am placing the exact diagnosis here.

Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia and its related condition Primary Lateral Sclerosis (not hereditary) are both rare. This is what I have. It's so rare that I have not met one person other than my twin brother who also has it.