t's blog: "txt messages i got"

The condom tells the tampon u fuck up my business 4 a week, the tampon replies yeah but when u fuck up i lose my job for 9 months

Beer doesnt make u FAT it makes u LEAN.. against walls, tables, chairs, floors and ugly people

the post office has jus put out a new stamp wit a dick on it n i heard u were confused cuz u didnt kno which side to lick

i asked santa for a condom he gave me 3, i asked for a dollar and he gave me 10, i asked for a ho an he gave me this number

i made u open yer phone for no reason its just funny havin yer ass in check, whos my bitch? ur my bitch lol

This christmas im puttin a mistletoe in my back pocket so all the people dat hate me can kiss my ass

10th anual cock sucking contest is this friday they are asking that u not compete so some1 else can win this year thanx