i heard a song today by trace adkins.as i listened things began to happen.the song is arlington.i began to see things as i listened,at first it was just uniforms ,jets ,things like that.suddenly i felt rain on me and i saw plants everywhere.my mind began to go back in time,taking my soul with it.befire i knew what was happening i was back in nam.my first flashback in over 30 years.it was as though i was watching it all but protected by an unseen force field.
before i continue let me give you a little back ground.the song arlington is about arlington national cemetary.its a military honor burrial cemetary.soldier who have given the supreme sacrifice are burried there as well as ones that were given the highest honorsd and earned their place amoung the war heros as well as our presidents.the other back ground is ive suffered long term memory loss due to an incident just weeks ago.till now, had no recolection of my time prior to just weeks before.
now i found myself amoung my men and my friends that had gone into the marines with me on the buddy system.i saw things we had done while in nam.football games wed played and other things not related to battle.as the song ended my memories continued and somehow the song was playing again,this time there was no fotball,onlt trees and follage.suddenly i was with my friends on a routine patrol.steve,18,my full back in high school was at point.everything was silent.mud caked our boots and the rain soaked our gear.we had just reached our turn around point when suddenly i saw a flash and heard a lous crack.i watched as steves head turned into a red spray then all hell broke loose.i came around on my bedroom floor,soaked in swet.i started to get up when again i saw bobby,my twin brother.we had been separated at birth and until just a week before wed never known of each others existance.now as we sat as brothers bobby was doing my special forces tat when suddenly i was covered in grey matter and blood,a second later bobby fell forward into my arms and died.my mind again shot sharp pains through my head and i was transferred to a rice patty.stan was carrying the last of our wounded to the lz and i was his cover.i jumped into the chopper and gave him the high sign.he struggled to the chopper and we hauled in the wounded soldier just as the chopper began to lift.i grabbed stan and pulled with all my strength .when i git stan in hed been cut in half by machine gun fire.as i looked into his smiling face,stan,18,my tight end in high school smiled at me with clear eyes and said,toutch down,then blood poured out of his mouth and he gurgled his last breath.hours went on and more vissions passed through my mind.
i came to and luckily i was alone,still in my room on the floor.id literally ripped up my carpet with my bare fingers that were now covered in blood.my clothes were ripped and my room looked like a battle field.
i tried to talk to several persons on ct but finally i forced myself back to reality.yes ,monday the 28,memorial day,i went back in time i have no doubt.i still dont remember my past except for those times in nam and i pray i could loose them again.but those memories came back for a reason,one ,i was able to finally burry some ghosts id sent out to burry before my memory loss,and second,to bring a little hell back to share so that next time you see a soldier,or a disabled vetran,maybe you will have the pride to salute him and the compassion to thank him.you see,when a soldier battles,he never leaves the battlefield.it is now a part of his soul,his own personal hell.
written by renegadelvr
formerly lt.b.l.sass.u.s.m.c.//special forces/special ops
