today is a day for thoughts, of love, 0f hate, and the darkness thats in us all
Im not talking about the Emo cut myself darknss Im talking aboiut the place we all Hide
from every one, but thoses close to us. We all have that place where we put the things
hurt us. Where the Lies People have told us are stored. The Place where our fears seem
so close and so real. The place that we dont share.
To Most of us that place is small and easly delt with,but for others is a Hollow and frighting
Place that could at any moment consume Our Lives. I have lived with in my Darkness, nd Have come out on the
other side a better person, But now Im being Hunted with the feart that I might fall back in to it any
moment. I belive that we are Ment to have great Loves and great pains. the Great Loves are the ones we never forget
and the ones that hurt us the most. Thoses ae the Loves that cause the festering wounds that we never show to the World
I have had a Few Great Loves in my Life and they have Mortaly wounded me in one way or another and I stil feel
their pain to this day. And I know that i have wounded a few in my time as well. I dont regret any of My Great Loves
For with out them I wouldnt be as strong as I am today.
I have found that if I keep every thing in that Darkness will devour me with out event thinking. I dont Like talking about the way I feel
Because It makes me feel weak that I Cant fight this on my own. Well we cant always do it by ourselves no matter how bad we might want to,
some times we need that one speical person, weather it be a friend or a lover to just Listen to us get it sll out
I have my speical some one he Listens to me and I listne to him.I dont even have to mention his name he knows who he is.
I thank the goddess that he was brought in to my Life. he is a True God send. over ten years he has been at my side listing when I bitch
and beining the shoulder when I needed Him. He is and Always will be one Of My Great Loves. And I will always be his.
I kmow most that read my blogs have no clue what Im talking about, if they do they can understand where Im comming from
Some times you just need to get it all out to feel better. Im a writer so this is the best way I know how
to express what I need to say and how I feel.
In the past few weeks I have felt that Great Pain. I thought I had found some thing in some one I cared about
Boy was I ever wrong. I Fell in love with the idea of some on I thought I knew,Little did iknow at the time I was a fool
I dont give out trust easly and it takes even more to revile myself to some one and when I do, my passion shows and i love deep
and hard. In that I have learned that to Trust another with your secreates can be a wonderful thig if they fell the same way.
If not than in the end you find yourself standing on the edge of that great darkness, wondering if you will ever trust again.
As much as I hurt I know that I wil trust again, It may take a long time but, I will heal and take that Leap again.When you ask?
I dont Know, I know that this Last Great pain is going to take a long time to heal.
Im not one to Preach or tell others what to do, but some simple advice is never close your self to love, for the fear of pain
you Might miss that one great love that may change your Life. Again I want to thank My great Love, babe you know who you are
With out you the Darkness would have taken me yeas ago THANK YOU.
NEW topic
As im sitting her writing this *Im outside enjoying the day and the sights and sounds of summer, I find my self thinking about
the things we all wear in the summer. Me personly Im a Tank top and Jeans Kinda check, and My fave cammo shorts, but others around me
seem to think its ok to Like Like they are working the street corrner or just fell out of bed. Dont get me Wrong I knoe the fads and
all that but some tims I want to grab some of these People and slap the shit out of them and telling them, " put some clothes on this is
a Park where childtren Play " or " For the Love of god Please Brush youe Damn hair and put your Fucking pants up no one wants to see your underwear".
How on earth can peopole Leave their Houses Looking Like that. Now Im not the prettyest bitch in the world but Come on. Im get dressed (put on my Bra)
brush my hair before I leave my House. I was raised to looke desicent when I Leave my house, weather it be to take My little one to the Park
Or out to the Club with my firends( hehehe yeah right like I go clubing )
NEW TOPIC
While this is A bitch blog I do Love it when People Comment, I love the feed back on what People think of My Out look on the world
Im not saying that Im Right and my words are Law, they are just my Opinion and my feelings on thses topics.
If there si some thing you all would Like to se me blog about Please feel free to leave me a message and I will tell it Like I see it.
I just use this forum to vent and to write out what Im feeling at any given time. Its not ment to Be followed or to be taken as Law
with that all said and done with I will end this Rant and let you all soak it in
Peace
Kisses
C-Ya
