PiperXylonLRLSociety of Wolves's blog: "Sure. Fine. Okay."

The core of dark desire Masked by good intent Dug your way inside But dropped the shroud too early... Who are you?! Please if you're watching me on "Adrian"s behalf I just want to be left alone... I'm already in a dark place...leave me be.... Piper

I still get pissed off everytime my ex pulls stupid ass petty shit...but seeing as how the stupid petty shit ONLY hurts my son and I...and he sits pretty...I think I should be pissed... But what does getting pissed do for me...? Makes me feel like shit...b/c all I can do is stew in the pissedness... Not only could I never stoop to this lvl but when I manage to come the smallest bit close to it...I feel guilty the whole time...b/c thats who I am...I don't fuck people over nomatter how much they deserve it...I let karma take care of it... ...karma's been taking a vacation... So I got fucked out of doing what I was supposed to do tonight...but also made to stand out in the cold rain on my porch for a good while holding Adahy...to the point that when I finnally got to tput my son down my arm twitched like mad for an hour...a feeling more irritating than the pain... Long story short...when I leave I am nice enough to leave the key with his folks...b/c thats the plan... He leaves...he drops the key off with his friends parents and tells no one...then the parents leave....THEN he decides he had the key... thats the story anyhow... Annnnd he takes every drop of drinkable fluid from the place...all the new box of soda...all the beer... Oh and apparently he's cutting himself again b/c hes smeared blood all over a bunch of my stuff...wtf... ...I'm packing Adahy up...and we're becomeing missing persons together...humph...

Who exactly? Is it a good sign for you that I am so easy to break in...? Or a bad sign for me...? Both...? Neither...? Feels so right...leaves my mind so wrong... Had it all for a moment...yet today has me more lost than ever before... And of course...I'd do it all again...and again...and again...oh and sometimes right after lunch... Because some days I just wanna be a missing person... Just need to find something useful to do with myself once I find me... (*edit*) ...hahaha...Man I'm stupid... ...oh and as it turns out...no good either...

http://cherrytap.com/viewimage.php?u=637585&i=1710487511 Mothers day contest starts Thursday April 12th at 6pm Pacific... Please bomb the crap outta me I can't afford a blast otherwise and I really want one *sniffle* lol... Please?! *licklicklick*

Tokyo girl, Tokyo girl You've got the moves to rule the world That cute inscru-tability Tokyo girl, you're a mystery Tokyo girl, Tokyo girl Shaking up hearts around the world You can't forget that stunning face Smiling at you it's your destiny She's got the face sweet as a baby Elegant taste and money to burn Her "yes" is "no", "no" is a "maybe" Her language is so hard to learn Tokyo girl, Tokyo girl You've got the moves to rule the world That cute inscru-tability Tokyo girl, you're a mystery (half of a song stuck in my head after taking latest pics hahahaha had to share)

Tell me the truth...but only what I wanna hear... Read my mind like it was nothing... Your eyes hide the world...while mine bare it all...(damn them!) Defense goes up...yet security shot down... It scares me like nothing else...too late I'm hooked...thus now terrified... And where the hell to run when its impossible to hide...? Not again...no no...never again... What keeps happening to my master plan...y'know...the one that involves the very opposite of this...? Story of my life...

Movies with any sort of love involved anywhere in them suck...b/c they always make me go "Awww I want some of what they're having." and then back to the good violent or funny parts... Why do they have to shove that into perfectly good comedy/gore flicks? Huh? And people like to say that the mushy "i care about you" shit in movies is fake but actually...think about it...its 100% real... Girl plays hard to get (sometimes) b/c shes been hurt in the past or wtf ever...guy spouts off some sentimental crap...maybe helps (or saves bleh) her from somthing or other...boom girl is naked...guy gets laid...and in the end...it was all just acting... Sometimes one actor/tress really does fall for the other...and thats always a huge mess...never ends well... Only difference I see is that the girl starts a collection of babies from other countries to make her feel better...lol... Other than that...as long as you read betwen the lines of the movie plots...its a lot like real life... Means there's NO fantasy land for me to dwell in anywhere! I overthink everything...and everything turns to dirt...

I dunno what I'm doing anymore but I need to concentrate on moving out...I have no idea where but I'm going sometime this month... The thought is creeping into my mind to delete all online accounts and just...really dissappear when I move...start fresh...unknown... *I got in a lil "spat"...yea...lets call it that...and didn't get to finish this entry but posted what I could... See when I move I dunno how long it will be till I have internet anyways so if I suddenly don't log in anymore welp...that'd be the reason... Plus...y'know...wanting to dissappear anyway... Ever wish you were invisible...? Ever wish you'd stop being treated as if you were...? Is it possible to feel half/half on this? This is why I say I don't klnow what I want...and I don't know who I am half the time...I tend to just "go with the flow" anyways but...now I'm trying to swim against the current... Hmm...maybe I'm "drowning"...hahaha... As much as the kind words etc cheer me up... I think it'd just be easier to stop "swimming" and just sink...yep...summer fun time kids!

Just sorting out things I want based on how useful they really are...figureing out how much they cost...so I can then decide what I can actually afford here soon... I have too many junk blogs on myspace so I'm sticking it here so I don't have to hear the complaints haha... scanner - how much do those cost? Oh well I need one for my artwork...badly...heh... Computer - I know...expensive...needs to be done...but will leave me flat broke...*sigh* this one is only good for web surfing and threatens to overheat every 5 min lol...fans are working...so I dunno...but I need a new/good computer and if I ever get around to building it I am gonna bash this one to bits... hairfix- my hair is driving me crazy to the point I am going to shave it and ruin my dream of growing it down to my bum (like i always do)...so I need to invest in screwing up the color instead haha...this may range from 30 - 50 bucks though...bleh... fetish heels- I've been drooling over these shoes for the longest time...8 inch heels...the el-cheapo ones are 50 bucks...the good ones are 60...either way...*drool* tattoos - welp there are a few I want but I'm trying not to go crazy...I can think of 3 that'll keep me satisfied hopefully forever...but they range from 100 - 200 bucks...bleh...One I know for a fact I am getting...a dreamcatcher for my son...then I really really need to cover up this mutalation that I paid 15 bucks for...its horrid and stuck there forever unless I cover it with a real tat...and man I keep thinking up lots more...eek... piercings - My face used to have plenty of metal but I'm cutting down this time around...I can think of one I really want to replace one I lost in my ear...and...oh crap about a million more...these range from 40-50 bucks as far as I know...damn Ohio is expensive... Yep...my wishlist is silly for the most part...and expensive...annnnnnnnd yeah...never gonna happen...poo...