PiperXylonLRLSociety of Wolves's blog: "Sure. Fine. Okay."

All I've got to say is...I know my self-esteem is a bit less-than...but shit God damn... I'm planning to not "hook-up" or put myself on the relationship market until I move out of Cody's place...b/c he's being rather...insane...last night he asked me if we were going to grow old together...my reply..."No; women mature faster than men...thats why I'm moving..." And if half his lil buds are around he's his usual jackass self to me but if certain male friends are around he's all over me...or attempting to be...stupid crap... But... AREN'T I WORTH A LIL MORE THAN JUST BEING USED FOR SEX?! I mean hell if I'm viewed as sexy yay me...I just wish someone gave a rats ass about me...yeah...ME... 6...six guys are trying to do this to me...luckily I've gotten used to this so even though feelings tend to bubble up in me now n then(3 of the 6 lol)...I've gotten skilled at pushing them back down and forgetting...and am slowly becoming all the more skilled at not developing feelings to begin with... Guess there will always be times when people get the best of me...and the "he likes me he really likes me?" will turn to "oh...he likes my ass is all..." I know I have special pics on here but they're not THAT special...In fact the point of the pics was to try and get myself over being ashamed of my bleh body...didn't work...made me ashamed to even exsist... *by feelings I don't mean "omg im in love" i mean silly kiddy crushy shits... *also I'm not referring to all the males I know...and a few of the 6 are not even on CT...

Alrighty this is what I'm supposed to be keeping myself busy with (but as things would have it...bleh...): Working on gettin' my ink Work on music for my zombie video should be underway this evening (and oh my I'll even sing a verse!) Once finished there will be a zombie talent search. Dance moves will then be worked out. (yay I'm makin' up moves go me) Paid Photoshoot plans are in the making (o lala) Few Other photoshoots are in planning stages but not paid... I can't think of what else I was gonna put here due to my ear being chatted off...so I may edit later... Many personal plans going off along with these actual creative projects so I expect many delays... If anyone wants to help out in some way or another lemme know!

Ok...I see now...thank you... Tricked again by one...douped by many...fucked over by a few... Just...damn...is there no one...? Bleh...I've had many a drink alone tonight...so for now all I have to say is...damn... (and no green beer...for the umtinth year in a row...)

This crush thing is driving me crazy! *shakes fist at cherry tap* I had two...now it says I have one... I know who one is... Its driving me crazy wondering who the other one was...and also wondering why they stopped...did I do something? Or was it that I didn't crush anyone... I don't want to because I'd really not want to be found out...even if it is hard to already...I just can't risk that...and the being shot down part...yeah...I can't handle that shit...so...yeah I'm a wuss... This crush thing drives me crazy alright...