NTZ's blog: "A Return Of Thought"

You would like to think you're doing all the right things.  You realize the world doesn't award goodness, especially if that's all you have to offer.  You feel you're left with nothing.  Was once rich, now poor.  Walking a snail's pace as the world is sprinting cheetah like.  So seeing spots isn't a bad thing, consider it a natural side effect of the drug.  Prescription for life?  Though everything is starting to get away from you leaving you in the rear view.  Now you question all your efforts of bettering yourself.  What's the point?  Same looks.   Same laughs.  Same stares from a far.  Same nos giving.  Same corner in the dark.  Same feelings.  Same problems.  Same shit.  Same toilet but different day and sometimes that's the only thing you need.  Different day brings possibility.  Maybe today wont be like yesterday.  Maybe these changes will bring whats needed.  Yet, you sit there wondering about this all as you turn your phone off because you're wasting the battery as it sits on the desk.  You was once rich, now poor.  Nothing to show for whats been done.  So you sitting there on the same site bored.  Music playing but its not helping like it use to.  Wondering what now should you do.  No one is asking for your thoughts.  Gone were the days where you felt one of the parts of this big machine.  As parts gets replaced.  Now you thrown away.  It's not till you realize you have nothing, that you realize you use to have something.  From rich to poor.