545225's blog: "Relationships"

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you... let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful. And if it takes too much sweat... I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!! If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...... LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ..... LET IT GO!!! If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth..... LET IT GO!!! If someone has angered you ........ LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge. LET IT GO!!! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...... LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ... LET IT GO!!! If you have a bad attitude....... LET IT GO!!! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...... LET IT GO!!! If you're stuck in the past and are trying to take yourself to a new level...... LET IT GO!!! If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....... LET IT GO!!! If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...... LET IT GO!!! If you're feeling depressed and stressed ...... LET IT GO!!! If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and your heart saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to...... LET IT GO!!! Let the past be the past look forward. Forget the former things. LET IT GO!!! Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then ... LET IT GO!!! During the next 60 seconds, stop whatever you are doing, and take this opportunity. (Literally it is only ONE minute!) All you have to do is the following: LET IT GO!

This past few months have allowed myself to be further engaged in the "dating scene" …. I've had some nice moments, but they normally follow up with aimless wondering. People can be sometime-ish, up and down, high and low. Balance ceases to exist in this game. Therefore, how many participants in this game are balanced? Answer: none! This may seem dramatic, but consider the fact I said those who are participating in the game, those who I feel are balanced may be aware of the game but choose not to engage. Encounters, Meetings & Dates are not accidents... …all of which seldom lead to relationships anymore… without relationship, building trust, friendship, companionship, where does LOVE have a chance to grow? Answer: it doesn't! Lust is rampant in people more than ever; it is a controlling force that is destroying those who it resides in and those who it "attacks"…. Lust grows and is a spirit, therefore, it is alive, transferable and has a mission….it is NEVER satisfied. It's mission? Destroy the plan of God for healthy, balanced, loving relationships. . My mind is not simple, it's analytical and thinks too much at times, but I'm done making apologies for it , I am who I am, I'm a thinker and my mind is not inside your head so I don't expect you to think like me, and vice versa…I guess that's what makes us all unique? Our minds…. which are attached to our emotional make up, if only I could see inside other people's minds at times, I think life would be less of a strain trying to work it out!! …but we all get to a point where we are done with second guessing, wondering WHY…..it all leads to CONFUSION, which is not healthy. From flexing on the dating scene, my mind has encountered much confusion, second guessing, wondering, there has not really been any certainties, securities, anything of any REAL substance…amid much excitement, fireworks, it holds no meaning.. …. It gives the appearance that it's lovely, but looks can be deceiving, it means nothing…..most of the time… So many people are purely looking for sex and not relationship… they do not take the time to really find out who a person is, in fact they seldom see a person in front of them, but instead just a physical presence they need to enter, devour and move on. We lead busy lives which are increasing in speed every second we breathe; we get to stages in our life, take a look in the rear windscreen and wonder where has our life gone? This is not where we planned for our life to be….but instead of STOPPING and evaluating and then taking action to remedy those things we have missed out on, we continue in the spiral of life, the same path we have been travelling, only to press the accelerator that little bit harder…what is wrong with us? … Have we lost all hope and joined "everybody else", only to add to the pain, destruction of possible LOVE and emotional turmoil we all cause one another…. What if…..we slowed down and valued relationship, friendship, people, new and old, more than we value money, careers, and things? What if…. we took time to look past the girl's curves, the guy's lips to actually find out the substance and very essence of WHO they are? What if….. we used self control to tell our flesh what to do and not the other way around? What if….. we actually respected others, whether we just met them or have known them for years? What if….. when we said we would call, we actually did? What if….we actually put others before ourselves? Giving rather than taking.. Emotional absence is worse than physical absence; a person can know that you are at least thinking of them if you connect… yet you can be sitting next to a person and they may as well be invisible anyway, but you can be 5000 miles away from a person, yet they connect with you via whatever means they have on a regular basis. The results are always valuable, for what you sow you will reap from it…bad or good…. Connecting…does this really take time to do? How long does it actually take to send a text? An email? or even, make a phone call?....stop and think on it, if you have a few seconds to!! lol ….those seconds, or minutes you use to connect will not have a detrimental effect on your life….think about it… People seem to have it so wrong these days…the whole world is one big game, of which, I don't wish to play…dating in itself comes with rules, of which are foolishness and backward…..the whole "wait for some time before calling her" thing for example, "make her think your not eager", well if I've been on a date and he hasn't called me within 2 days, my assumption is he's not interested… after all…life is short and who has the time or the ENERGY it takes on the mind to consider and WONDER?! If they can't even pick up the phone? Cheque please…NEXT! This in itself feels cold to even me, but yet, we all need to live in reality, and does this person display the characteristics of someone who you want to get to know further? Hmmmmm…let that marinate… People are complex, and a lot of times, stupid, yes I said stupid, people claim to Keep it Real, but if you are keeping it real, you don't play games especially with people's minds…..the mind is fragile and dangerous, it causes people to do many good and evil things in this world….we need to nurture and protect ours and each others. We talk about LOVE and peace in the world, but yet if our own "relationships" are based on games, un-caring attitudes, selfishness etc then what contribution are we making towards what we say we want in the world? Changing the world starts at home, and when I say home, I don't just mean you, but every person you CONNECT with. Let's stop using people as pieces of meat or things we can pick up when we desire, let's value that person for who they are. They are somebody's daughter or son, brother or sister, mother or father…. People are life and life is precious… End transmission. Weekend Glory by Maya Angelou Some clichty folks don't know the facts, posin' and preenin' and puttin' on acts, stretchin' their backs. They move into condos up over the ranks, pawn their souls to the local banks. Buying big cars they can't afford, ridin' around town actin' bored. If they want to learn how to live life right they ought to study me on Saturday night. My job at the plant ain't the biggest bet, but I pay my bills and stay out of debt. I get my hair done for my own self's sake, so I don't have to pick and I don't have to rake. Take the church money out and head cross town to my friend girl's house where we plan our round. We meet our men and go to a joint where the music is blue and to the point. Folks write about me. They just can't see how I work all week at the factory. Then get spruced up and laugh and dance And turn away from worry with sassy glance. They accuse me of livin' from day to day, but who are they kiddin'? So are they. My life ain't heaven but it sure ain't hell. I'm not on top but I call it swell if I'm able to work and get paid right and have the luck to be Black on a Saturday night.

Open your EYES to SEE the REALNESS of what's really going on.... when a fine man or woman is in front of you, or on the phone, email, etc, saying all the right things you want to hear, showing you that kind of attention, doing the things you like to feel....just the way you like it, ......they look good, smell good, taste good when theyre lips are on yours it's like paradise......this can soon lead to confusion.....hurt...and all things negative and dillusional.......it's a plan...you will know by the direction it goes in where it has been sent from... These pretty, sexy lips, dripping with honey, are like the ant poison you can buy. The ants are drawn to it because on the outside it smells and tastes sooooo good, they're all scurrying around taking it back to their homes, excited that they actually found something that satisfies them, gives them pleasure, oooh it's wonderful, yet slowly and SURELY the poison inside the honey kills the enitre colony, it gets a foothold inside their homes, an invitation, a warm welcome, it used the outer false disguise, which was an excellent one, to get inside, and kill every living one of them....DEAD. This could be a physical,. emotional one for us or a spirtual one, it depends on the mission of the agent. So you see, not everything that looks and taste good is what it seems, some things are sent to kill you...... whereas some things are sent to bring life...you will always know the difference, even if you live in denial for a while, while sipping on the honey... Wise up people....the enemy is using eveything he knows you like to get you out of God's will......I know.... as this has happened to me, more than once...but God through His Grace & Mercy...opens my eyes to it each time.....now I'm sharing it with you....but beware the honey gets sweeter each time....

THE MYSTERY OF RELATIONSHIPS > > During a seminar, a woman asked a common question. She said, > "How do I know if I married the right person?" > I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I > said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she > answered "How do you know?" > > Let me answer this question because the chances are good that > it's weighing on your mind. > Here's the answer. > EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in > love with your spouse. > You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their > idiosyncrasies. > > Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a > completely natural and spontaneous experience. > You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" > in love... Because it's happening TO YOU. > > People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think > about the imagery of that expression. > It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and > then something came along and happened TO YOU. > > Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous > experience. > But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. > It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, > phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), > touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's > idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. > > The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if > you think about your marriage, > you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage > when you were in love and a much duller or even angry > subsequent stage. > > At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I > marry the right person?" > And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love > you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone > else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their > spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for > fulfillment. > > Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. > Infidelity is the most obvious. > But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a > friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. > > But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your > marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love > with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But > you'd be in the same situation a few years later. > Because (listen carefully to this): > > THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT > PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. > > SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. > It'll NEVER just happen to you. > You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and > day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." > Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, > it takes WISDOM. > You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. > > Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. > There are specific things you can do (with or without your > spouse) to succeed with your marriage. > > Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as > gravity), there are also laws for relationships. > Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically > stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make > your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you > know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... > You can "make" love. > > Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

Intimate relationships or unions are the arms and legs of the womb, the extensions of a woman's "inner space." In order for a woman's womb to be at peace, she needs to be at peace in all of her intimate relationships. Her relationships with all things that she consumes at a physical or energetic level and that become a part of her. Whether the intimate exchange is breathing air into her body or putting food into her mouth, all of a woman's intimate relationships are rooted in her relationship with her self. So reflect on your unions in your own way and allow each to become your teacher. Empty yourself of resentment and become receptive to the lessons that your intimate relationships bring. Surrender to the wisdom that each and every union offers to your spirit so that you will not hold on to pain. Undigested or unprocessed pain held in the womb grows into tumors. Intimate relationships have the potential to provide pain or joy. Unfortunately, there can be many sources of pain. Perhaps the most tragic is the hurt and disappointment cause by a negative or unbalanced masculine energy in our lives that of a father, brother, uncle, mate, lover or friend -- someone known and trusted. Violation, physical, energetic, or emotional from a person you thought you could trust to love and respect you creates deep hurt and resentment that requires committed healing work. Too often we flee to a new relationship in an effort to soothe our wounds before we have begun to recognize them, much less heal them. This is an unfair burden o carry to your new mate and lover and puts undue stress on a new relationship. Pain must be released or it will solidify into permanent blockages on the spiritual, emotional, and physical levels. A woman must have a committed lover within her mate, husband, or husband-to-be. For the salvation of her soul she must strive to avoid men who are merely "hit and run" lovers who will violate her spirit and leave her high and dry. She cannot afford to be involved with someone who does not intend to go deeply to, to make a commitment. She does not need a lover who is oh-so-sweet for a moment, only to have those moments turn into hours, days even years of feeling insecure, resentful, angry, depressed, lonely, empty and abused. An uncommitted relationship can create these feelings in a woman, and even in a man. A woman who permits and encourages a man to deal with her predominantly on a sexual basis is setting herself up for emotional and spiritual danger. She can find herself on a collision course with pain. She can become needy, desperate, or hostile. For absolute healthy love to flow and be a healing experience there must be commitment. For a woman to really open up, she must be absolutely at peace with her soul, for when she trusts her man enough, she will not hold back on her love. A woman's love is like a deep vault. When she is confident in her man's love, she will not merely open up her thighs for sex; she will open her vault to reveal the treasures of her womanhood. In a committed union there will be many blissful gateways of ecstasy, joy, and peace. Yes, Peace. When a woman truly experiences a loving union with a man, she will have no need to hold back for fear of being hurt. She will bless the union with her full self. For a woman to be at one with her mate she needs to know that her man is going to be there for her without excuses, without stories, without lies. Women, you must first see and establish your worth, your value, your richness, your beauty, you power within yourself in order for the man to have a passion to commit to you, body, mind and spirit. You may say "Oh but he looks so good!" And to this is the reply, "No more lovers, if you please! For those of you who are not striving to go beyond, for those of you who do not intend to find and to become a truly well rounded spiritual mate, All there is to say is; sister beware, for the lover your share your bed with is no different from the food you put into your mouth. With the man presently in your life, or soon to be, strive not to have a hamburger-on white bread lover, or a frozen-food marriage. Keep your Body Temple clean and pure, so you will attract a sea-moss-and-sprouts man, a watercress-and-dandelion mate, a wheatgrass-and-mustard-greens-and-kale husband who is just like you, strong and pure. Watch your food intake, thoughts, attitudes, and feelings, for what you embrace externally reflects your inner environment. So women, take responsibility to model the level of union you seek. And by all means, while in waiting, stay away from any foods or herbs that stimulate the libido a.k.a. "sex drive." Be patient and cleanse, and your king will come. He will be compelled to drop rose petals at your feet, anoint and kiss them, for he feels so complete. He knows that to be in the presence of his soul-mate, you, is a gift from the Most High, and that he has been waiting for you all his life."