J Wade's blog: "Poems?"

It's been a rough year, there have been times when I barely made it through.

But I don't regret the decision I made by leaving you.

You broke my heart and blamed it all on me.

Why would you cut that deep and act like you deserve to be free?

You tied me up for years and made me feel like shit.

It makes me so fuckin angry just thinking about it.

I don't cry over you, and I never will...

I just know what to accept and how to feel.

I've never felt better than I do at the end of this year.

The further forward I move, the clearer I see what I used to fear.

I'll just keep beating it into submission to continue my new journey.

It's getting easier to push away what hurt me.

So go on thinking you made the right choices in life.

You couldn't make any man happy by being a good wife.

You don't know the first thing about being a strong woman.

You'll never take a second to wonder what happened in that moment.

I'll be free to be the man I'm supposed to be.

I don't care what anyone believes I should be, I know who I am, a good man, I can see.

Maybe someday, I'll find the right woman I can finally treat like a queen.

It'll take time, but it'll be the greatest love I've ever seen.

Waiting with someone while they build a simple life together.

That can sometimes lead to greater emotions, maybe lasting forever.

I will keep my conversation going, all the while waiting.

While the fire I had to tread through is quickly fading.

 As I look beside me, no one's around. For a moment, I thought I was happy again.

It seemed like yesterday that you were here, but now all I feel is the wind.

Sometimes I can hear you whisper, and I'm happy for a while.

But then I remember you left without a word, and I've forgotten how to smile.

What happened? I don't think I'll ever know for sure. It came and went so fast.

Stepping forward, I feel like I haven't moved at all, and I can only see the past.

The memory of your laugh only brings me suffering, and I'm holding my chest.

I need to forget you and move on, but I don't know how to put your memory at rest.

So when I look around, I can finally focus on someone new.

I'll be able to smile, laugh and love without you.

It's my world, but you took it from me too long ago.

Peace, come hold my hand, I want to live and learn to grow.

You see, there's this new angel who is falling for me.

She's beautiful, smart and knows how to be free.

With a smile that lights up my new world, I can't imagine what I ever thought before.

I can't remember why I was ever broken anymore.

The only tears shed are after laughing way too much.

The only thing I can feel on my chest right now, is a soft but confident touch.

She whispers to remind me she'll never leave my side.

Constantly moving forward, we'll learn to grow, it's for us to decide.

------Jeremy