J Wade's blog: "Day by Day"

Thirty five years in this world, and I still have a lot to learn about life. There are situations that I run into on a daily basis that I don't remember ever going through. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's just interesting to me. I remember being a little kid, and my dad would say, "you think you have it all figured out, don't you?" Honestly, yeah. For a long time into my teens, I thought I had all of the answers. But I think that's just how kids think. Until real responsibility comes knocking, we think we're the kings and queens of our reality.

Nevertheless, we learn to love and lose that which we love. We run into various cultures and other ethnicities that we may have never come into contact with before. I've learned that there are so many amazing people in this world, and their ideas, no matter how small, have changed our lives for better or for worse. However, that's what has made us the kind of people we are and will be.

I don't know many other languages other than English, but I want to. I want to travel and meet the individuals that others don't want to talk to. I want to try food in every country, no matter how different or "gross" it might be. Why? Because it may be a delicasy in their homeland. To them, it may be the best thing based on what they grow or create. I want to learn how to respect those that are different from me because of where they live. I also want to learn more about real love. I'm not talking about being with someone special and having a life together. I want to meet an individual in a foreign country and learn what they do for a living. I want to know how they survive with their families and how they provide for them. Maybe, I can learn what it is to be truly humble.

I understand that there are a lot of situations out there that would prevent me from being in safe positions because of degregation or war-torn places, but I want to visit the ones nobody seems to care about. Maybe I'm crazy, but that's okay to me. I guess I'm just tired of equality being a bad word. I don't want others to be afraid or feel like they have to fight so hard to feel accepted. It'll never really go away, I'm aware of that. But one step at a time, I want to learn how to really love.

I don't mind taking a walk in the woods or down a dirt road. Sitting at the edge of a lake or laying by the river has never failed to easy my heart. Swimming in rivers has always hit me stronger than any pool, feeling the sun beating down as little fish nip at my legs. If there is anything I miss the most, it's camping with as few essentials as necessary.

Fishing, listening to nature do it's thing as I close my eyes for just a few minutes. I would forget there was an entire world around me for the time I would spend in 'nowhere'.

All worries slipped away as I would build a fire, getting ready for the sun to go down. Widdling sticks for hotdogs or marshmallows would become more of an event rather than a chore. As the fire burns a little higher, I'd start to sing A Capella, anything that would come to mind. Peace floods in as the world's chaos fades away.

Home again, with nature by my side. No alarm clock to buzz me back to reality or a phone call to keep me on a schedule. I always try to focus on the little things, reminding me that not everything has to lead to an end. I take one small step forward, believing I can get back to my rivers and lakes soon. I just have to remember that they're still out there, waiting. They're always waiting.

This morning, I was on my way to the Guitar Center for some strings and a few picks. Half way there, I stopped by a familiar gas station. I had another conversation about life, as I often do almost anywhere I go. This happened to be one of those times when the other person just had to let their story out.

I don't think she'll mind me mentioning her name, but she's Prudence. She's always a delight to talk to because she's so sweet and also humble. She was extremely burdened by the situation her little grandbaby is in. The little one was premature by about five weeks. By support of oxygen, the baby girl was struggling on her own. I was told that the little one would have to go without oxygen for about 48 hours before she could go home.

In the meantime, Prudence would go to visit the baby girl before and after work. However, Prudence was struggling because she wasn't able to go as much as she wanted to. She was worried, as we all would be. However, she told me that a few friends from her local church had supported her and would visit in the mean time to give her a peace of mind.

What was interesting was, Prudence actually apologized for telling me her little story, thinking that I would be offended that she would just 'drop' all of that on me. But, I could see the burden and pain in her eyes. She needed to get some of that pain out some way. I told her that she'll never have to apologize to me for talking about that little baby girl. Hearing that a little miracle needs help and is still fighting makes my heart burst. I can't do much, but I like to take little moments to think about that little one that I've never known myself because maybe, that can help in some way. Just talking to Prudence made her feel like there is still support out there when the world falls around her.

Sometimes, talking is worth a lot. But listening empathetically can help to build something greater than we can fathom.

I've noticed something recently. I've been apologizing for like, everything. I don't know why I've been doing it, but I think it has something to do with anxiety. Maybe I've been trying to seek approval from others to feel accepted or for some kind of sympathy, I don't know.

The fact is, I need to stop. It took me too long to realize it. I don't need to prove myself to anyone, and no one needs to do the same for me. If I apologize, it should probably be because I hurt someone with my words and I felt real guilt from it. However, I hope that I don't do that to anyone. It's just not something I want to do, hurting anybody. I don't even like arguing. A good healthy debate never bothers me though.

All in all, I feel like I'm an okay person to be around, and I honestly haven't seen a reason that should warrant an apology from me. If someone doesn't like who I am, that's really not my problem. However, let me know what bothers you. Maybe that'll help me in the future when I'm trying to make some real friends. In this place, friends are few and far between. Nevertheless, I've made a few here. And honestly, if I've been apologizing for everything and you noticed it, you don't have to be nice and go with it. Let me know. I can take it.

I was sitting at a gas station after getting a drink, and I saw this guy walking towards the door. All of a sudden, he runs into a random girl. He said excuse me and started walking off. Then, the girl touched his arm.

I could tell from my vehicle that his heart jumped out of his chest, but he seemed to stay calm. The couple were talking for a bit, but he seemed distracted. (Yeah I'm aware that I was basically staring at these two like a goober, but it was too cute to ignore).

Anyway, the girl, on the other hand, was so enthralled with him. They were both attractive people, but it was almost like the guy didn't notice himself. This girl kept talking, turning towards him and never taking her eyes off of him. It had to be the cutest thing I've seen in a long time. 

Instead of staying there, looking like a moron, I drove off. But I still hope something more came of those two. They seemed like they would be so cute together. Anyway, that's my little story for the day.

I'm constantly learning about people everywhere I go. I know that experience is pretty applicable for everyone, but I guess there's not a whole lot I've been aware of in the past. At any rate, I can say that there are so many unique people out there in the world with awesome stories.

My stories have never really been anything amazing, but they can sometimes come back to my memory and practically make my day.

I've noticed that the blogs on here aren't near as popular as I thought they once were. However, it's nice to kind of keep track of how my own journey is going. Also, I do like to read the earworms and awesome poems that people post on here. Those alone have been bits of inspiration for motivation in my own life. I probably haven't even talked to half of the people that have posted their blogs, but I still appreciate what they're doing. It's nice to find a common ground among people that have really unique personalities and awesome stories.

Anyway, thank you to all of the people who both read and write these blogs. It's not just a way to pass the time, but it's definitely inspirational.

As I drove around the city today, I made a few stops along the way from the gym. The conversations I have are certainly unique, and I'm sure everyone runs into these same people. Nevertheless, some of the convos. are pretty interesting.

I stopped at a gas station first, and the clerk has a son who had just broken his arm days before. Mind you, I never met this person before. However, she continued to tell me how it happened and what they're doing to help him along the way. A lot of people don't like these kinds of conversations because it can be really uncomfortable to be presented with such a situation. But I guess this is where I'm different.

So, I asked her questions. For example, "exactly where did he break it?" and "Does he feel like a robot or superman with the cast now" And yes, he does feel like a robot btw. She was still in half a panic because that was the first time her child had hurt himself this badly. But when I asked her questions leading to the robot idea, she started calming down to the point she could breath normally again. Honestly, the child wasn't too scared or anxiety from the incident. He broke his arm after wrecking his bike. That boy apparently thought it was awesome to show his friends the cast.

Very long story short, we don't always know what strangers are going through. There are people who can cope with their axiety pretty well, and then others may try to hide it and keep going. Sometimes, a simple conversation can help with a bad situation. I try not to judge anyone based on an outward appearance. Like everyone else, I can mess up and judge the wrong people sometimes. But, it doesn't help to do your best to help others, even if it's a simple gesture. After all was said and done, I also felt good about the situation of a stranger telling me an example of a life story.

I finally made it back home and I've barely gotten up off of my couch. But at least I was content. Y'all have a good day, alrighty?!

Lately, I've been working on patience when I'm at work. If I'm not at work, I tend to have a lot more patience. I don't know why; it may be the fact that I'm more in control of things around me when I'm not clocked in for the night. 

While at work, I do have a little flexibility when it comes to decision making, but everyone else seems to think they know better than supervisors. I'm sure that happens at every workforce, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

At any rate, my patience sometimes disappears half way through the night and I'm having to deal with situations one crawling inch to the next. But one of the first things I always have to remember is the fact that I'm not always right. And even if I may be right on a particular subject, someone else may have a more effecient way of doing things. New ideas are how things progress after all. So, I have to take the time to listen to others if they have an idea up their sleeve. 

The idea they have may not even work, but the willingness to listen to someone else gives a certain amount of trust to that other person. With said patience, I can have the ability to learn from a mistake and not make it again in the future. Patience is so difficult when you're in a time crunch, but it is one of the most valuable attributes when in a tought situation.

Have you ever craved something, but you just couldn't quite figure out what it was? I'm sure it happens to all of us, but oh my I found mine.

I haven't really had much of an appetite since I've started trying to lose weight, until tonight. So, I looked through the pantry. All of a sudden, my brain screamed, "there! Right there!!" It was honey nut cheerios. As soon as I took the first bite, I was in heaven. Sometimes, cereal is an amazing substitute for dinner.

All that being said, it's a completely random story. Why? Because there is just too much stress surrounding us on a daily basis. We have so much focus on what gives us such anxiety and never give time to just take a break for even a minute. Sometimes, simple things like talking about cravings might help curb some of the dark thoughts trying to fog our thoughts. Hope y'all are having a good week so far. 

Ooook. Here we go. I've never seen a post like this, so here goes. This will be something that some guys think about, but most guys don't. It's almost like a secret, but the secret can hurt others. It's an interesting one.

There are times when a particular song comes on that hits the right tunes. It has a good beat, the tempo is perfect and the lyrics are fire. In a certain moment within the melody, memories of regret come flooding in of all the relationships or mistakes that were made within a certain amount of time. That in particular can happen to any guy. However, it only affects some of them. 

Now, it's not the kind of regret that affects someone else in a negative way. It's in a manner that reminds the guy just how lucky he is with what he has in the current moment. With the ones who stay in that very moment, kudos. It doesn't happen very much very often. Some girls often take it to offense, not realizing how much anxiety the guy may have carried until that very moment. We deal with anxiety our whole lives, but sometimes there is a silver lining.

I will say, I'm a single guy. I have my lonely moments, but I'm content with the life I live. It's not perfect, and I have days that are harder than others. I sometimes have panic attacks that I wasn't even aware of. But I'm still happy. If that special girl comes around, I couldn't be happier. Until then, I have certain songs that remind me that I CAN keep going, because I can make myself better than I ever have been. If the girl does come along and sweeps me off my feet, there's a brand new love story. Fairy tales don't always have to end with a happy princess. But it certainly makes things better. 

Guys, if this happens to you, grab your lady and remind her that she really is that special. You may not realize it dude, but she saved your life. She really did. Even if you're afraid to tell her you love her, it still exists because she accepted you. Treat her as such.