Boobadeez's blog: "Poems"

Write what I feel whats the big deal, my heart is now not so easy to steal. My eyes are open and I am not looking back, I took my independence when I told you to pack. It's not that I never cared or loved you, but we both needed to start anew. I'm not perfect nor am I the same, that's no reason to call me such names. You say I've changed that I am not me, I am becoming the person I was meant to be. Yes you were my life, my heart and my soul, but also my youth and innocence you stole. I am becoming me and loving it so, this is the me you wish you could know. I will love me for all of me and not just some, you can't change what I've become!

written on August 13, 2008 Mistakes have been made on both our parts, but what does that truly say of our hearts When something feels wrong or out of place, instead of talking to me, you go to her to plead your case. You say you love me and really do care, how come when I need you, your not there. You act like I can't please you anymore, I walk on pins and needles, it's making me sore. I want you to be happy, but is it with me? open your eyes and heart and let me see. I want to feel happy and loved, tell me are you still my true love from above?

Okay here goes, this is how I am feeling right now and feel I need to get it out of my head but don't want to bother Jeremy with it cause he has enough on his plate worrying about the racecar. They say god puts on you what you can take, and I believe that and I feel that god must think I am really strong cause I don't think I can do this. All I want in life is a home of my own, and Jeremy to be able to race. Every time I think we are getting on track we get slapped in the face. I think I should get a second job to help pay things off and save money, but I am afraid that we will spend the money if I earn extra. I just don't know what to do and feel that we are drowning in debt and there is not end in sight. If anyone knows what I can do to take steps to help us get out of debt and start to move forward to buy a house let me know, I just feel so down and like doing my best just isn't good enough, these are just my random ramblings sorry to put it out here.

This was writen last year for Fathers day, I did not know it would be my last one with him. Daddy Daddy when I fell you wiped away my tears, when I was scared you took away my fears. Daddy you taught me right from wrong, you tried to teach Brandie and me to get along. Daddy over the years I've grown strong, knowing in your home I will always belong. Daddy you gave me hope when I had none, staying by my side till every job was done. Daddy you taught me to bowl, sing and dance, pushing me harder when there was a new chance. Daddy I told you to "twise it" and you tired, when it worked you laughed until you cried. Daddy you might not know what you mean to me, but one day you will see. Daddy you've seen me at my worst and best, teach me more as I go through the rest. By Candis Thomas for Dwight Holt written May 2006

I wrote this poem on 03/28/2005 Wandering Wandering around from place to place trying to find my special space. Follow my heart or follow my head, believe what I think of what you said. I'm not writing this to make you mad, I am writing it because I am sad. You need always know you are my heart and soul, but some empty promises make little holes. Can you tell me and I first or last in line, do me a favor and give it to me straight this time. I need to ask should I stay or should I go, your hearts the only one that knows.

Sitting As I sit here alone day in and day out, I can't help but wonder fear and doubt. When times get tough for me to bare, will you still be there? I know this question I've asked a millon times, but lately it's been hard to read your signs. One minute your here the next your gone. These thoughts have lingered for so long. Why do I feel the way I feel, all you say is suck it up and deal. I spend so much time trying to clear my head, but circling around are all the things we've said. I wish you were here to talk to me, to help me see the people we can be. May 28, 2005

Slipping Away by Candis Thomas Jan 14, 2005 I feel like our love is slipping away, wondering not knowing if you'll stay. Asking myself will you stay or will you go, never quite sure of what I really know. Do you love me , do you still care. Open and honestly these feelings I now share. To me you are my life, my passion, my love, my most special gift from heaven above. Asking myself why we bicker, why we fight, hoping to one day see the end in sight. To be with you is all that matters, wishing our marrage will not shatter. Remembering a love so simple and true, needing to know will you be there forever, worries about my love fading NEVER! Will you be there to hold me and help me through? When this life and love starts a new. As I ponder whats still to come , I can't help but feel partially numb.