Okay it has now been one year since my father passed away. I feel that when I lost my dad I lost my family too. We weren't all that close to begin with but I thought after he passed they would think about me a lil more but it is more like I don't exist anymore. All I wanted at Christmas time was to be with family and every time I would walk over to a group to talk they would walk away. Honestly it is suppose to get easier as time goes by but for me it has gotten harder everyday, I would give anything for one more day, but not to see him suffer. I have yet to sit down and cry and mourn cause I have to be the strong one for my mom. I think that my nannie (grandma) holds it against me for not being there more and dropping everything to go be there and that I wasn't there when he passed but it is bad enough I think about that everyday. Just some feelings sorry to bend your ear.
