Terran Nytefyer's blog: "Rantings, Ramblings, & Ruminations"

A few things lately have been really bothering me … and I’ve been seeing it more and more online.  It’s the mixing up, or interchanging of words, that do not mean the same thing.

Let’s start with the two most common I see everywhere -

Misogyny and Sexism.

• Sexism (or being Sexist), is a bias toward a person based on their gender.  It’s not just, or always, men being biased toward women.  There are plenty of female sexists in the world.

• Misogyny, in its basest form, is the hatred of women.  Which usually includes violence toward women.  And it’s not just limited to men hating women — one can be a woman, and hate other women.  (This type of misogyny is a bit more rare, of course.)  (Also, let’s not forget the term Misandry - which is, at its basest form, a hatred of men.)

Let me also say that while misogyny always involves sexism, sexism does not always involve misogyny.  (The same with misandry - it always involves sexism, but sexism does not always involve misandry.)

Here’s an article that also helps explain the difference between sexism and misogyny.

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Another word I keep seeing thrown about pretty much everywhere, especially online, is the complete misuse of the word pedophile.  I’ve noticed that everytime a man (and it is usually, unfortunately, used to describe men more often than women) is interested in a woman under the age of 18, he’s immediately dubbed a pedophile.

This is completely wrong, and it abuses the word’s real meaning, which is: Someone who is sexually attracted to children.  And by children, the meaning is: pre-pubescent.  (And, usually, people the age of 13 or under.)

If someone is sexually attracted to, say, someone the age of 16, they are not a pedophile.  The term for that is: Ephebophile.  An ephebophile is someone who is attracted to post-pubescent teens (or adolescents).  Someone who is a pedophile, would not have a sexual attraction to a person who has already hit puberty (unless, of course, the person they’re attracted to pretty much still resembles a child, regardless of the age - but that’s a whole other subject.)

I’ve even heard people go so far as to label a person in their 20’s a pedophile if that person happens to be dating, sexually attracted to, or hitting on someone who’s 18-19 years old.  This is completely stupid, and proves that those who use the term pedophile for the meaning in the last sentence, are completely ignorant of the word’s meaning, and they actually cause problems for people who do not deserve them. The term does not mean “someone over the legal age hitting on someone under the legal age.”

Pedophile is not a term that should just be tossed around.  And it obviously shouldn’t be tossed around by people who don’t know the meaning of the word.

Just because Person A (male or female) is attracted to Person B (male or female), and Person B happens to be underage, does not make Person A a pedophile; not unless Person B is pre-pubescent.

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A few more terms I keep seeing being used improperly.  People mix these words up all of the time (and yes, it happens a lot online, too), confuse them, use them interchangeably:

Polygamy, Polyandry, Polyamory, Swinger, Polygyny.

• Polygamy is being married to more than one person at the same time.
• Polyandry is a woman being married to more than one man at the same time.
• Polygyny is a man being married to more than one woman at the same time.
• Swinging - (this brief definition is taken from Wikipedia, which is pretty accurate): Swinging or partner swapping […] is a non-monogamous behavior, in which partners in a committed relationship agree, as a couple, for both partners to engage in sexual activities (sometimes referred to as recreational social sex) with other people. […] The swinging couple regard their sexual activities with other people as a social activity in which they engage as a couple.  Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from an informal social gathering of friends to a swingers’ club and internet-based introduction services.
• Polyamory is, quite simply, a romantic relationship that involves more than two people, at the same time.

Here is probably one of the best FAQs on Polyamory I’ve ever read.

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I hope that clears up a lot of confusion.  I would really like to see people starting to use these terms properly and accurately, rather than just tossing them about without knowing the real meaning, or because they think they know the real meaning.