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I enjoy sex.

I enjoy watching it, reading it, talking about it, doing it.

I love to talk dirty, I love describing fantasies, and I even enjoy getting off on dirty talk.

It’s fun.

And it should be fun.

I’m not ashamed of my sexual mind, and I don’t believe I should be made to feel so.

No one should be made to feel ashamed for liking/enjoying/participating in consenting sex.

I don’t do slut- or whore-shaming.

I’m not going to force myself on you, nor ask you to participate in anything you are uncomfortable with.

But I am a sexual person.

This is who I am.

Otherkin to talk with on a regular basis.

 

ESPECIALLY other vampires.

It’s difficult, and sometimes draining, to have to try to explain to people who don’t quite understand (or who WON’T understand).

ESPECIALLY trying to accurately explain what it’s like to be a vamp without a donor; to be a vamp without a donor for two years.

When you’re a vampire, and you have willing donor you can feed from on a regular basis (once every 1-2 weeks, usually), things are usually fine, where they should be:

  • senses are heightened, like they normally are for a vamp
  • immune system functioning better than ‘average” (getting sick less, and having sickness last for lesser time frames)
  • healing quicker
  • being more connected on a level most people don’t quite get
  • “gut feelings” more accurate
  • mind working/thinking up to speed
  • less lethargy, less tiredness

Etc., etc., etc.

But, when you’re a vamp, and you CAN’T feed properly, as you should be able to … shit starts to get wonky.

Your senses are greatly diminished, for one.   Or, I should say, your senses start to diminish more the longer you go without feeding.

  • Your sense of hearing gets a bit weaker - you can’t hear all the subtle, quiet noises you should be able to. (No, you won’t eventually go deaf, but your hearing will suck.)
  • Your sense of smell is shit.  You can’t pick up on even some of the slightest smells you used to be able to.  Food has a muted smell.  Certain things that normally smell fabulous to you, start to smell kind of “enh.”  You start to go “nose deaf” with certain smells.  It’s hard to explain.
  • Your eyesight gets crappier.  Not that you’ll go blind, but you will start to develop a mild form of “night blindness” at times, when you used to be able to see in the dark just fine.  Hell, even during the day, the sun seems just a little bit brighter than usual.  Where the sun is concerned, this is also due to:
  • Having a little less energy in direct sunlight. (SO, we don’t burst into flames or anything like that_.  But, without regular feeding, we do get weaker and a bit more lethargic (quicker than “normal”) in direct sunlight.  Quicker to heatstroke, too.
  • Sense of taste starts to diminish.  A lot of food starts to taste more bland.

Also, your energies start to go awry.  You can’t seem to concentrate on things for long periods of time (almost like having ADHD), or you get TOO focused on ONE single thing for too long and lose track of shit …

You are more sensitive to some things, less sensitive to others (and this fluctuates when you don’t feed regularly - some days, you’re too sensitive to everything, even taking everything people say the wrong way; other days, you’re not sensitive to ANYTHING, and could end up bruising yourself, or hurting yourself and not even realize it for a few days.)

And OH MY GODS the horniness/sexual energy.  This is where it really starts to get fucked up.  As a vampire, a regular feeding regulates and stabilizes YOUR sex drive FOR you.  Whether it’s a high or low sex drive you have, a regular feeding will make it normal for YOU.  You’ll stay at a high sex drive, or a low sex drive.  Whichever is your norm.  When you DON’T feed, or go to long WITHOUT feeding, there is no “stable” for your sex drive.  You can go months without even thinking about it, and then get horny all day (or several times a day) for months.  Wake up with a hard on, and get them periodically throughout the day (or wake up wet, with it happening throughout the day) - need to fuck like a rabbit, or masturbate furiously several times a day.  On THESE days, when your unregulated sex drive is in hypermode, all you need is some erotica to get off.  Maybe a dirty picture or two.  Other times, you NEED to talk to someone, or actually NEED to feel flesh in order to get off properly.  And if you can’t find a willing participant, well … you don’t get off, and go another day being horny.

Some days, because of these energy fluctuations from not feeding regularly, you just can’t be arsed to get out of bed, because you just don’t have the strength.  Sleep all day, without it really being restful, and just stay tired.  Get clumsy.  be lethargic - and have that lethargy last for days, sometimes weeks.

As I said - not having a donor/playmate for two years has REALLY fucked with my energies.  This is another reason I’ve been so fucking horny lately, and masturbate several times throughout the day.  IF I can actually get off.

And it’s difficult not really having a lot of other vampires around to talk to about it, etc.

So, there ya go.  Just a bit of a bitch/whine/rant.

About Vampires

I know there's a link to these FAQs of mine (which, yes, I did write) on another blog in my About Me section, but I'm posting them here, too - if any of you will actually read it.

Now, I’m not posting these in hopes that you’ll all of a sudden believe me, or that you’ll squeal in delight and fawn all over me.  I don’t care about that, actually.  It’s not all that important to me.  What is important to me (and, to an extent, the vampire community, itself), is that those who may be interested in it, or confused about it, can read these FAQs and gain a better understanding, a better knowledge, about what it’s actually like to be a Real Vampire. 

You don’t have to accept that we’re real.  You don’t have to believe.  That’s entirely up to you and your brain.  But, maybe, after reading these FAQs, you might walk away with a better grasp about us, and who we are.

I’m going to start this off with a quote from someone in the vampire community (posted on one of the many vampire message boards):

I am a Sanguinarian. I need blood. I am not here to prove it, or make you believe. I have more important things to worry about like supporting those who also share in this condition. Physical, psychological, paranormal? I don’t know. No one knows. So keep your skepticism and ridicule. All the ignorance in the world will not change the fact that we exist.”MFuture

And now, on to the FAQs …

~~~~

Real Vampires - An FAQ, Part One:

Is this this real or just a fantasy?  

Many people might consider it a fantasy, but for us it is a very real part of our lives.  There is no irrefutable proof we can give if you are dead-set not to believe us.  It is along the same lines as anything that requires some amount of faith.  If you absolutely refuse to believe the possibility, there is nothing we can say that would change your mind.  But yes, it is very real.

How do I know you aren’t full of crap?

You don’t.  Refer to the question above.

Are vampires evil?  Do they worship the Devil?

There is a balance in everything.  There are good vampires, there are evil vampires; just like there are good people, and there are bad people.  However, in my experience, there are more good than bad.  There are those rotten apples that seem to have managed to associate the word ‘vampire’ with ‘evil’.  However, we are not those.
Again, with the idea of balance, there are vampires who do worship Satan, or are Satanists.  I, however, am not, but everyone has their own belief system and structure.  Just because somebody is a vampire does not necessarily instantly make them evil and/or Satanic. (And, just to be clear, just because someone within the vampire community — as with any regular person — may be ‘worshipping’ Satan, or belong to the Church of Satan, or whatever, doesn’t make them ‘evil’, either.  It’s just a different set of beliefs.)    As with any group, it depends upon the individual.

Do vampires have religious beliefs?

Of course.  Again, it depends on the individual.  As with ‘normal’ humans, the belief system varies per person.  I, personally, have met a Catholic priest who was a vampire.  I have also met a number of people active in their churches who are vampires.  I, myself, believe in God and Christ, although I do not agree with organized religions.  Just because one is a vampire, it does not mean one cannot have religion.
There does seem to be a prevalence within the vampire community towards the pagan/Wiccan beliefs, because they tend to be more open and accepting than many other religions…  and again, paganism is *not* synonymous with Satanism, or evil; just as Satanism isn’t necessarily ‘evil’, either.  (Just a little side note, here: I, personally, have met a few people who are Satanists, or belong to the Church of Satan, and the ones I’ve met are not evil people, or bad people, they don’t practice human sacrifice, etc.  They just hold to a different set of beliefs.)


Is vampirism just a ‘goth’ thing?

LOL.  No.  However, most vampires are gothic, but not every goth is a vampire.  Gothism, in and of itself, is basically a reminiscence for the past; a person or persons, seem to wish for that past.  Many vampires have ‘dark’ tendencies, just as many goths do; they like dark clothing, dark makeup, live dark lifestyles, which is why the two are often confused.  But no, vampirism is not ‘just a goth thing’.  I have met several goths who don’t believe in vampires; I’ve also met many vampires who look like soccer-moms and businessmen.  You would not be able to tell just by looking at me that I’m gothic.  But my mindset, my personality, are very gothic in many ways.

Is vampirism just a mental illness or addiction?

There are those out there who do have a mental conditions, such as Renfield’s syndrome, which make them *think* that they are vampires and absolutely need blood.  There are also those people who, when it comes to ‘Hollywood’ vampires and role-playing games, are not stable enough to begin with, so they tend to believe they are something they are not.  These people have been detrimental to the vampiric society, because they give the term ‘vampire’ a bad meaning.
There are those people who have a blood fetish, who are not vampires, and those that simply enjoy bloodplay, who again, are not vampires.  There *are* vampires who enjoy bloodplay and/or have a blood fetish, and have an addiction to the blood.  As there are ‘normal’ humans with a blood addiction.
However, ‘vampire’ does not necessarily indicate those conditions.  In short…  no, it is neither a mental illness nor an addiction, in and of itself.  It is simply what we are.

Is vampirism just a ‘fancy’ name for a common medical condition (anemia, etc.)?

No.  It may share some similarities, but it is quite separate.

Are vampires supernatural?

This is a difficult question to give a concise answer to.  Yes and no.  According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, supernatural is defined as:

(adjective) 1 : of or relating to an order of existence beyond the visible observable universe; especially : of or relating to God or a god, demigod, spirit, or devil; 2 a : departing from what is usual or normal especially so as to appear to transcend the laws of nature; b : attributed to an invisible agent (as a ghost or spirit)

Vampires fit quite well to definition 2a.  Simply speaking, vampires are above what is commonly considered natural; or, supernatural.  We have generally heightened senses, we have certain mental abilities most ‘normal’ people do not, we have a need that most people consider abnormal and/or impossible and ways of satisfying that need that most people find likewise impossible and/or disturbing.  To use a quote, “People fear that which they do not understand”.  People fear the supernatural.  Therefore, people fear vampires, real or imagined, thanks to how the general vampire populace has been portrayed throughout the centuries.
As for the ‘no’ part of this question, we do
not fly, we do not regenerate-any body parts, we do not change form or shape-as into a bat (though it would sometimes make things easier!), we do show up in mirrors, we do show up on film, and we cannot control someone’s mind simply by looking at them.  As for super-human strength, anybody - human or otherwise - have been known to show amazing feats of strength if danger is involved.  Yet, in some instances, our strength does seem to be multiplied depending on how angry we are.  But no matter how angry we get, you’re never going to see one of us pick up a car and throw it because we’re annoyed. (Also, we don’t sparkle.)

So just what *is* a vampire?

Again, this hard to give a definitive answer to.  Even in the vampire community, there is some debate over this answer.  In its most basic, simple, mundane form, a vampire is one who needs to draw energy directly from an outside, living source… but this is hardly encompassing; there is so much more to it than that; it also does not cover those few who can draw the needed energy from sources like storms.  This question, is why I’ve written this FAQ.  Hopefully with the answers given, you may be able to draw your own conclusions.

Do vampires think they are better than ‘normal’ people?

Generally speaking, no…  but then, up to a point, yes.  Mostly in that ‘normal’ people tend to be very oblivious to the world around them, while we tend to be much more aware, of the world around us and simply in general.  Unlike ‘normal’ humans, most of us have managed to tap into a portion of our psyche, of our personality, of our potential, that the general populace will never accomplish.  In a way, the vampiric community *is* superior, but not necessarily *better*.  We have our share of nitwits too.
This is not to say that we feel that vampires are always vastly superior and should rule the world over all the cattle or any such nonsense; we simply seem to be more aware most of the time.  Many of us have ‘normal human’ friends that we would not trade for anything in the world; many of our family members are ‘normal humans’ and we certainly don’t love them any less.  Similarly, a mother is superior to her children, but that does not make her any *better*; it is only that she knows more at that point.

Is drinking blood just an addiction, or is it a need?

Depending on the individual, it can be both.  Though, as with any addiction, those who have crossed that line have done so to their detriment.  But for all vampires, it is a need; not in the way you may think-we will not die if we don’t feed-but many feel this is the actual defining point of a vampire.  For example: we can go a day, a week, a month, a year, or even longer, without *having* to feed; but, the longer we go without feeding, the ‘weaker’ we become…  i.e., our senses diminish, often we become preoccupied with the desire to feed, our immune systems may become compromised, etc.

Can I become a vampire/will you make me one?

Is it *possible*?  Maybe…  there is some contention over that within the community.  Will *I* do it?  No.

Do vampires really drink blood?  If so, how much, how often, and how do you find a ‘donor’?

Yes, at least Sanguinarians do…  there are some who can draw the psychic energy they need directly, without need for blood (referred to as ‘PsyVamps’, or ‘Psychic Vampires’).  How much?  This depends on the individual vampire… the only way to really answer is ‘enough’.  Usually it is on the order of an ounce or so.  Most vampires, and remember I say *most* vampires, will not endanger someone’s health or life just to feed.  As for how often, again that depends on the individual vampire.  As stated in a previous question, we can go a day, a week, a month, a year, etc.  The so-called ‘comfort zone’ seems to fall between a week and a month, though most would prefer to feed at least once a week.  I know that I, personally, like to feed no less than once a week…  like to; this does not always mean able to.   As to finding a donor…  basically, you find someone you feel you can trust, and ask.  This can be another vampire (though not always recommended), a ‘normal human’…  it all depends on how much you trust the person.

Can a vampire have children?  Is it an inherited trait?

Yes, a vampire can have children.  Don’t believe everything you see in movies, read in RPGs, or in books.  Contrary to popular belief, a vampire is not sterile, nor are their children born ‘undead’.
Is this an inherited trait?  I don’t think there’s any such thing as a vampire ‘gene’, otherwise science would have proven the existence of vampires years ago.  Therefore, I don’t feel that it is an ‘inherited’ trait, per se…  however, it does seem that vampiric parents are more *likely* to have vampiric children, for whatever reason… or at least, children who will one day awaken to being a vampire.

When it comes to vampires RPGs, movies, music, etc.; are these harmful?  Can they cause people to believe they are something they aren’t, or do they damage the real vampire community?

They can be, yes, and for the most part they do indeed damage the real vampiric communities.  They usually portray vampires as “evil” and as being “of the devil,” so to speak.  There are those out there who are unstable enough to believe everything they see in movies, and therefore come to the conclusion that vampires need to be extinguished.  There are also those who come to believe they are vampires when they are not, which can lead to a bit of strife within the vampire community-especially online-due to the number of ‘posers’ making it difficult to believe someone else when they claim to be a vampire, even though we know *perfectly* well that vampirism is real.
In an odd way, though, it is actually beneficial to the vampire community, as it allows us to ‘hide in plain sight’ better..  we do not fit any of the ‘fantasy stereotypes’, and so people write it off as a ‘joke’.

What is it like to be a vampire?

It’s like dancing naked in a warm summer rain.  It’s like being surrounded by the purest love.  It’s like a Sunday picnic in the park.  It’s also like being kicked repeatedly between the legs.  It’s like getting hit in the head with a baseball bat.  It’s like constantly walking by a buffet of your favorite foods, but being unable to eat.  In my experience, and most vampires I have spoken with, being a vampire is both a curse and a blessing.  For the most part, a lot of us have to hide what we are from those we love the most, for fear of retribution, prejudice, fear, or some other sort of negative judgment.  Most of us cannot run down the street yelling ‘I am a vampire’ for fear of being strapped in a white coat and thrown in a rubber room and basket weaving with our toes for the rest of our lives.  But the blessing comes in the form of this: when it comes to regular life, we have learned more and experienced more than most ‘regular’ people have or ever will.  We are usually able to help a friend in need of emotional support; we know better than most what it is like to be hurt, to be an outcast.

If ‘vampire’ has such a bad rep, why use that term at all, why not something else?

Simple answer: because that is what we are.  To use anything else would be to deny our very selves.  It’s not *our* fault that the media has twisted the reality of what we are.

Are there really vampire hunters?

Yes.  Some of them are as bad as they are portrayed in the movies; a lot of them are much more subtle.  There are some who believe Hollywood, and who, regardless of what the truth is, think vampires are an unnatural abomination.  However, just as within the vampire community, there are plenty who are simply overeager RPG players, who really pose no threat; and sometimes, it can be difficult to tell the difference.

Are vampires predators?

Most simply put…  yes.  We need something that we must get from another living being.  This does not necessarily mean we *kill* to get what we need, though.

What is the relationship between vampires and magic?

Most vampires, by nature, dabble in the ‘arts’.  This helps them to hone their senses, hone their abilities, and by the same token, their abilities help hone their spells, charms, wards, etc.  For most of us, magic is simply a part of our life.  Others, not so much, if at all.  Vampires do seem to have an easier time with magic than most people do, however.

Do vampires have a ‘normal’ life?  What kinds of things do they do?

What is ‘normal’?  In my opinion, there is no real definition of ‘normal’.  Vampires, like anybody else, try and get by in their lives the best that they can.  We have bills, we have to pay taxes, we need to work, we go through good relationships and bad.  As to what do we do…  what does anyone do?  We go to work, we go to school, we go to the park or to the lake or to the bar or to friends’ houses…  it varies as much as with anyone else.

Can you show me, teach me, or tell me all about vampires?

That one of the main purposes of this blog post/FAQ list.  If you mean *in person*….  well….  that’s debatable.  Get to know us first.

What is the purpose of creating this FAQ list?  What’s the benefit?

See the previous question.  The benefit is, hopefully this will help dispel myths and spread the truth, therefore making our lives that much easier.  And in time, you may leave this particular blog post with a little more knowledge than you came with, about how the world around you really is.

~~~~

Real Vampires - An FAQ, Part 2:

What are the signs of vampirism?  What abilities do vampires have?

In my experience:

Heightened senses, to one degree or another.  Such as: Better hearing-being able to hear higher or lower-pitched frequencies, as well as things that are ‘quieter’ than most people can hear; better sight; the sense of touch is quite sensitive, you just seem to feel things better than most; more heightened sense of smell, as in you can still smell someone’s perfume in a room, even after they’ve been gone for days, it simply seems to linger, as well as seeming able to identify and pick out scents most people can’t; sense of taste is quite remarkable. This is not to say that all vampires have every sense to an “Nth” degree. My eyesight is bad, so I have to wear contacts. But, for the most part, these senses are exceptionally heightened.
Quicker reflexes
Some sort of blood-lust (in the case of Sanguinarius vamps) and/or a need to feed off of some sort of energy (in the case of PsyVamps)
An affinity for the dark; dislikes being in the daylight
Functions better at night-most seem to be more awake after the sun goes down; you can think better at night; etc
Some sort of ‘allergic’ reaction to the sun (whether it can or cannot be diagnosed by medical science is up to debate)
Some variety of Empathy
Better-than-average or ‘strange’ nightvision
An awareness of energies most people don’t notice
Weaker-than-average immune system if they haven’t fed; stronger-than-average if they have
An odd mix of a desire to be around crowds and a mild(or stronger) case of social anxiety disorder; this is usually due to the Empathic abilities a lot of us have.  Too many thoughts and emotions invading all at once
An unusual gracefulness that seems to manifest at odd times
Depending on the situation, many seem to display traits and characteristics reminiscent of MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder). Frequently, this very well could be a manifistation of past lives making themselves known.
An ability to pick people out of a crowd who seem to be ‘different’…  unusual energies or what have you.  This also goes with vampires being able to pick each other out.
“Mood eyes”; eyes that seem to change color with one’s emotions
Physically stronger in certain situations. This is not to say they could pick up a car and throw it a hundred feet because they get annoyed, of course.  But, for some reason, their strength seems to get better depending on the situation; *especially* in an emergency or in a dangerous situation.
Extreme cravings for unusual foods or which food doesn’t seem to satisfy.  You may wake up at 4:30 am and have an odd craving for banana pudding.  You just woke up, and *needed* banana pudding at that moment.  Or, for some reason, you want coconut milk on your cereal instead of regular milk.  Odd little things that, for some reason, you just cannot explain.  I know, one night, I woke up –woke up completely– from REM sleep and needed pizza right now.  It was about 5am, and I *needed* that pizza.
Unexplainable, frequent headaches
Never seems to get enough sleep (insomnia).  It doesn’t matter how much you sleep, or how little … you just never seem to be able to get enough sleep some days.  Or, you’ll have days where you’re up for longer than 24 hours and, no matter what you do, cannot force yourself to sleep.
Seems to heal more quickly than others (when well-fed).  A cut or scratch seems to heal in a matter of hours (or overnight) as opposed to a few days.  If you catch a cold or the flu, you seem to recover quicker than most people, if you have the energy available for your body to accomplish this.
Seems to experience symptoms similar to the flu (except with no fever) when they haven’t fed frequently enough
Some sort of ‘artistic’ talent-be it poetry, writing, drawing, computer work, etc.-that seem to come out of nowhere
Higher than average intelligence
Seems to suffer from some variety of depression or bipolar disorder.  This “symptom” and the one above seem to connect.  It’s that whole “There is a fine line between genius and madness” thing.  Me, I have a high I.Q.  I also have bi-polar disorder.  Most vamps I have met in my life seem to have high intelligence, and some sort of depression.
Some variety of one or more ‘mental abilities’-empathy, telepathy, aura sight, precognition, etc.
A strange ability to ‘hide in plain sight’.  You just don’t want to be seen.  And, for some reason, even though you’re in the middle of a large crowd … no one seems to even notice you.  And this “ability” seems to fluctuate at odd times.  Usually, though, it manifests during serious stressful situations where you just cannot “handle” things anymore for a while.  It also, however, has a habit of ‘going off’ when you don’t necessarily want to remain unnoticed.

I have X number of those traits…  does that mean I *am* a vampire?

Maybe, maybe not.  I have met several vampires that do not have more than one or two of these traits; then again, I’ve come across vampires who seem to have them all.  I’ve also come across ‘normal humans’ that seem to display most of these traits.  In the end, the only one who can *really* decide if you are or not, is you.

Where can I meet a vampire?

Anywhere, really.  At school, at work, in the grocery store.  The tricky part is *recognizing* when you meet them.  Usually, though, a vampire is not going to come up to you and say, ‘Hi, my name is Bob, and I’m a vampire.’

Can I pick a vampire out of a crowd?

That depends on how perceptive you are and if you know what to look for… and, up to a point, whether or not the vampire *wants* to be recognized as such.

Can vampires pick each other out?

Usually, yes.  There are those ‘newly awakened’ vampires whose senses have not yet quite reached that peak, and of course, there seem to be exceptions to every ‘rule’ you try to set to vampires.

Do vampires have group meetings, clans (a la V:tM), covens, etc.?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.  It depends on the individual or groups of individuals.  Obviously, *some* do, as that is one of the purposes of this FAQ.  However, if anyone tells you they are part of a ‘clan’ a la V:tM, such as Toreador, Malkavian, etc. or some other fictional name that denotes a ‘bloodline’, chances are, they’re delusional.

When it comes to vampires RPGs, movies, music, etc.; are these harmful?  Can they cause people to believe they are something they aren’t, or do they damage the real vampire community?

They can be, yes, and for the most part they do indeed damage the real vampiric communities.  They usually portray vampires as “evil” and as being “of the devil,” so to speak.  There are those out there who are unstable enough to believe everything they see in movies, and therefore come to the conclusion that vampires need to be extinguished.  There are also those who come to believe they are vampires when they are not, which can lead to a bit of strife within the vampire community-especially online-due to the number of ‘posers’ making it difficult to believe someone else when they claim to be a vampire, even though we know *perfectly* well that vampirism is real.
In an odd way, though, it is actually beneficial to the vampire community, as it allows us to ‘hide in plain sight’ better..  we do not fit any of the ‘fantasy stereotypes’, and so people write it off as a ‘joke’.

How does a vampire feeding affect both the vampire and the ‘donor’?

Generally speaking, it is quite enjoyable, for both parties…  very sensual, highly erotic…  but somehow at the same time not exactly sexual.  It can lead into the sexual, depending on the individuals, but that does not mean that it *is* sexual.  Afterwards, the vampire feels refreshed, perhaps a little stronger, in a better mood.  The donor may feel slightly weakened, perhaps a little fatigued or lethargic, but oddly serene.

What different kinds of vampire are there?

There are a number of ‘sub-classifications’, and I will try to list them all here:

Bloodvamp/Sanguinarian – these vampires feed strictly from actual, physical blood, generally drawn from a small wound on their donor.

Energy Vamp – those that feed directly from some outside energy source
Within this category, there are a few ‘subtypes’:
PsiVamp (PsyVamp) – those that draw the energy they need directly from another person’s (or people’s) psychic(aural, pranic, whatever you want to call it) energy
Emotional Vamp – those that draw energy from other people’s emotions; also called empathic vampires.  Not to be confused with vampires who also happen to be empaths (which is quite a number of them)
Sexual Vamp – very similar to PsiVamps, except they draw their energy exclusively from sexual encounters
Elemental Vamp – these vampires tend to draw most or exclusively from the elements or nature…  storms seem to be a favorite source.

Many people consider these to be the only two ‘true types’ of vampires.  However, there is a third category, which seems to defy the ‘normal’ classification – Hybrid, or ‘Dual-Feeders’.  It is into this group that I fall (along with many others).  When feeding, in order to really draw what we need, we must ‘bite’ in the classic vampire sense, although we do not puncture with fangs or any other artificial device.  We then simply draw what we need..  to us, we can taste blood, feel blood, have to swallow, even can taste the aftertaste on another who has just fed; however, once we are finished, there is no mark, aside from perhaps a small red mark like a hickey.  Some consider this something of a ‘self-hallucination’ of what is no more than a PsiVamp…  but those of us who feed this way do not feel this is accurate.

And then, of course, there are those who are often seen as one and the same, but who have nothing, really, to do with real vampires:

Fetishists – a person who gains sexual stimulation or satisfaction from bloodplay. (Without necessarily believing themself to be a vampire, or Otherkin.)

Lifestylers – these people can sometimes be hard to distinguish from either real vampires or role-players, depending on which way they lean.  Basically, they live the ‘lifestyle’ to the hilt, dressing the part, makeup, gothic houses, the whole bit.

Role-Players – usually used in a derogatory sense in the vampire community, this is one of the easier non-vamp groups to spot.  Most often they have based their ‘personas’ on V:tM (Vampire: the Masquerade).  They can usually be picked out by their assertions of wild supernatural powers (flying, bursting into flame in the sunlight, etc.), as well as by the ‘Clan’ system – Tremere, Toreador, Gangrel, etc.  This is not to say every vampire who RP’s is fake..  after all, what better place to hide?  It can serve as a wonderful release.  It is when the lines of reality and the game become blurred that a problem arises.

Clinical/Psychotic Vampires – those who suffer from a serious mental illness, and truly believe themselves to be vampires in the classical, mythical sense (such as Renfield’s Syndrome).  These are likely to turn ‘donors’ into victims.

What is it like to be a vampire?

It’s like dancing naked in a warm summer rain.  It’s like being surrounded by the purest love.  It’s like a Sunday picnic in the park.  It’s also like being kicked repeatedly between the legs.  It’s like getting hit in the head with a baseball bat.  It’s like constantly walking by a buffet of your favorite foods, but being unable to eat.  In my experience, and most vampires I have spoken with, being a vampire is both a curse and a blessing.  For the most part, a lot of us have to hide what we are from those we love the most, for fear of retribution, prejudice, fear, or some other sort of negative judgement.  Most of us cannot run down the street yelling ‘I am a vampire’ for fear of being strapped in a white coat and thrown in a rubber room and basket weaving with our toes for the rest of our lives.  but the blessing comes in the form of this: when it comes to regular life, we have learned more and experienced more than most ‘regular’ people have or ever will.  We are usually able to help a friend in need of emotional support; we know better than most what it is like to be hurt, to be an outcast.

I think a friend of mine is a vampire.  Is there a ‘polite’ way to ask or try and find out?

It’s like trying to find a polite way to ask if a friend of yours is gay.  It’s always a touchy subject, even moreso as anonymity provides a measure of safety for us.  Start out with a general ‘discussion’ about vampires…  not straight out asking if they are one, but simply if they believe in them and so forth.  In time, perhaps, you can ease into the question of whether they are or not.  Just be sure to be respectful about it.

What is it like to Awaken?

Ever been hit on the head with a sledgehammer?  It’s kinda like that.  Have you ever had a crisis of faith so profound you don’t know *what* to believe any more?  Yeah, it’s kinda like that, too.  Have you ever been deliriously happy?  Yeah, it’s kinda like that as well.  It encompasses the entire range of emotions.  It’s terrifying, intriguing, interesting, amazing and amusing all at once, with every other emotion in the gamut thrown in for good measure.  However, some people, of course, take it better than others.

Can an Awakening be ‘triggered’ by someone else?  If so, what responsibilities are there for the one who triggered it?

Yes, I do fully believe an Awakening can be triggered, because mine was triggered by someone when I was 19.  As for the responsibilities..  help them through it; help them deal with the emotional turmoil it causes; teach them what you know in hopes that they will take the benefit of that experience with them while learning their own way; in a way, almost become a ‘parent’ to them, helping and aiding and comforting as much as you can.

Are vampires immune to blood-borne diseases? (Or any other diseases for that matter?)

NO.  They are just as dangerous, or even moreso, to us as they are to anyone else.

Can you tell me of any vampires in {insert town/state/whatever}?

Can I?  Maybe.  Will I?  No.  That is something you will have to search for yourself.  I am not about to betray the trust of anyone in the community by stripping away their anonymity.

Are there really vampire hunters?

Yes.  Some of them are as bad as they are protrayed in the movies; a lot of them are much more subtle.  There are some who believe Hollywood, and who, regardless of what the truth is, think vampires are an unnatural abomination and need to be exterminated.  However, just as within the vampire community, there are those who are simply overeager RPG players, who really pose no threat; and sometimes, it can be difficult to tell the difference.

If someone awakens to/becomes a vampire, does that mean they can’t do a lot of things they used to?

Why should you stop living your life just because you realize you’re a vampire?  Seomtimes you may have to make certain adjustments, but you should be able to do basically everything you could before.

What is the relationship between vampires and magic?

Most vampires, by nature, dabble in the ‘arts’.  This helps them to hone their senses, hone their abilities, and by the same token, their abilities help hone their spells, charms, wards, etc.  For most of us, magic is simply a part of our life.  Others, not so much, if at all.  Vampires do seem to have an easier time with magic than most people do, however.

How do I know who I can trust (lover, friends, parents, etc.) about what I am, and how do I go about telling them?

A good place to start is a general sort of conversation about the supernatural/metaphysical/magic/whatever you want to call it.  Feel them out, see how they feel about it.  If the response seems good, lead into vampires…  what do they believe about them, do they think real vampires are a possibility, etc.  If the response is still good, then decide if you feel you can trust them with the knowledge.  In the end, only you can decide who you can and can’t trust, though.

Do vampires have a ‘normal’ life?  What kinds of things do they do?

What is ‘normal’?  In my opinion, there is no real definition of ‘normal’.  Vampires, like anybody else, try and get by in their lives the best that they can.  We have bills, we have to pay taxes, we need to work, we go through good relationships and bad.  As to what do we do…  what does anyone do?  We go to work, we go to school, we go to the park or to the lake or to the bar or to friends’ houses…  it varies as much as with anyone else.

Can you show me, teach me, or tell me all about vampires?

That is one of the main purposes of this blog post/FAQ.  If you mean *in person*….  well….  that’s debatable.  Get to know us first.

Twilight bullshit . . .

twilightfails:  WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?  Okay, this shit pisses me off to no end, and I am done being even  semi-nice to Twilight fanatics. Hey, Twilight Fanatics!  Twitards!  Twihards!  Are you listening?  Pay  attention now … YOU ARE ALL FUCKING MORONS. I mean that COMPLETELY.  Even ONE of you seriously has the fucking audacity to claim that  Stephenie Meyer wrote a BETTER series of books than J.R.R. Tolkien? You are fucking stupid, AND pathetic. This is not a difference of opinion here; this is absolute proof of your  sickening ignorance over what REAL LITERATURE actually is. Do you fucking people realize that there would be NO fantasy genre (and  yes, most vampire books fall under the genre of fantasy/sci-fi/horror)  without J.R.R. Tolkien? Seriously, he pretty much INVENTED the whole thing, in a way.  He, at  the VERY least, made it more popular than it ever was before. Do you stupid, ignorant fucks realize the man INVENTED A WHOLE NEW  LANGUAGE? Specifically for the books?  Several of them in fact!  He  INVENTED what is known as “Elvish”.  WITHOUT  Tolkien, there would be no Elvish.  There wouldn’t be any  fucking ELVES.  He invented the Dwarven language, too! He invented a language that is still in use TO THIS DAY by fantasy  authors.  In fact, almost every fantasy book to come AFTER The Hobbit  and LotR is due to J.R.R.’s influence. Seriously, you said it yourself about Tolkien’s books: You  can’t understand them.  And actually, that’s  sickeningly pathetic.   You don’t like his books because you  can’t understand them. You wanna know why you can understand SMeyer’s piece of shit  book series?  BECAUSE IT’S TOO FUCKING SIMPLE!  Literally.  I  know you can’t understand this, because your tiny, uneducated  brain can’t comprehend it, but SMeyer’s book are  fucking DUMBED DOWN in language and style in hopes to garner readers. J.R.R. Tolkien was a fucking PROFESSOR and a PHILOLOGIST (look it up)  who INVENTED not only genealogies for his characters, BUT ENTIRE FUCKING  COHERENT LANGUAGES! And, because he didn’t think that England  had enough of a mythology behind it, he fucking INVENTED ONE with LotR.  He is considered the father of high fantasy literature. LotR was  intended to be one book, but it was so fucking AWESOME (my opinion) that  it was split into 3 books, to make people want more after each book.   LotR is also ranked as one of THE MOST POPULAR WORKS OF FICTION OF THE  20th CENTURY!  It took him nearly 10 fucking years to write LotR  (that’s fucking dedication!) due to the backstory about  Middle-Earth and its inhabitants.  He wrote close to 40 fucking books in  his time.  He received the New York Herald Tribune Children’s  Spring Book Festival Award for  The Hobbit, and the 1957 International  Fantasy Award for LotR.  He also received the title of Commander, Order  of the British Empire in 1972.  COMMANDER! ORDER OF THE FUCKING BRITISH  EMPIRE! Holy shit! He also had a fucking ASTEROID named after him! A  fucking ASTEROID!  Do you know how fucking AWESOME you have to be to get  a fucking ASTEROID named after you?!  Oh, yes, Tolkien also wrote a  handwritten translation and commentary of fucking BEOWULF that was close  to 2000 pages long.  Oh, and another thing - Tolkien’s work  HEAVILY (quite heavily; I’d go so far as to say purely)  influenced one of the world’s most popular and well-known  continuing extended series of high fantasy books (and RPG’s):  DragonLance/Dungeons & Dragons. Stephenie Meyer is a sexually repressed Mormon woman, who wrote a book  series about a person from a wet dream she had, and has stated  she’d leave her husband if her wet dream came to the door.   She’d leave her husband … for a fictional fucking  character.  Wow.  (And she writes about supposed  “love”.) J.R.R. Tolkien wrote a series of books about friendship, about different  races coming together to fight a dangerous common foe and solve a  dangerous common problem; he wrote about love, about loss, about heart;  he wrote about bravery, and common goals, and hope and success and  defeat in the face of adversary; he wrote an entire history about a  created world; he wrote about moving on, about believing in yourself,  about believing in your friends, about trials and tribulations; he wrote  about the bonds, and rise, of the common good.  He wrote about LIFE.   Period. Stephenie fucking Meyer wrote about a whiny, twatty little girl who is  never happy about anything, hates everybody, is manipulative, treats  everyone around her like shit, and can NOT seem to do ANYTHING without a  man to help her, and can NOT live without a fucking MAN.  Stephenie  fucking Meyer wrote about a fucking sexist, misogynist, mentally and  emotionally abusive STALKER who fucking drinks animal blood and calls  himself a “vegetarian”, and sparkles in the fucking  sunlight.  Stephenie fucking Meyer wrote about a werewolf who  isn’t a werewolf, who mouth-rapes the girl, and who turns out  to be a fucking pedophile at the end of the series.  Stephenie fucking  Meyer wrote about how marriage is more important than sex, and about how  having children is more important than your own life. And you have the fucking gall to call LotR “crap”? Fuck. Stephenie. Meyer.  Fuck. Her. Fans. And fuck. Her. Worthless.  Attempt. To write a book.  And just because she made money off of it is  an indication of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, except how fucking naive most  teenagers are. — I can almost guarantee you there would be NO Stephenie Meyer, the  so-called ‘author’ WITHOUT J.R.R.’s  influence.  Why?  Because her books have an element of fantasy in them.   TOLKIEN MADE FANTASY POPULAR AGAIN! The ONLY reason why Stephenie Meyer’s books were published,  AND sold, is because vampires are very popular right now.  Write a book,  and say “Oh, and there are vampires in it,” and I  can almost guarantee that you’d get published, too.  Because  they’re popular. Yes, Edward and Bella are believable … as a very BAD couple.   They’re the epitome of how NOT to do relationships. J.R.R. Tolkien’s books are what are referred to as  “Literature” for people who ACTUALLY READ AND  UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY READ.  Stephenie Meyer’s books are for  people who DON’T READ and who REALLY DON’T LIKE  BOOKS.  That’s why they’re so fucking  ‘easy” to understand.  They don’t make you  fucking think, and there is no real conflict in them.  Stephenie  Meyer’s books are what are known as “examples of  very bad writing.” —- J.R.R. Tolkien = One of the best examples of how to write awesome,  motivated, and beloved novels that are intricate, well-thought out,  researched for years, and - quite literally - epic. Stephenie Meyer = The best example for how to write for retards. Stephen King = Wonderful and great example of how to write; also, for  how to write many books and many stories that interweave and reference  each other throughout each one.  Oh, and also how to write epics, as  well. Stephenie Meyer = Great example of how to write long, boring,  contradictory not-quite-stories. Dean Koontz = brilliant example of how to not only write awesomely  creepy supernatural novels and stories (earlier career), but also how to  write beautifully uplifting stories of REAL love and hope and happy  endings (later career). Stephenie Meyer = Perfect example of how to write a  “how-to” book on horribly abusive relationships. —- So, again, fuck you Twihards who think Stephenie Meyer is actually a  good author, and that her worthless, contrite pieces of shit  “novels” are actually an example of  “literature”.  Because with the above picture/quote,  you’ve proven, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you know  absolutely NOTHING about real literature.

twilightfails:

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

----------------

My response to the story in the picture:


Okay, this shit pisses me off to no end, and I am done being even semi-nice to Twilight fanatics.

Hey, Twilight Fanatics!  Twitards!  Twihards!  Are you listening?  Pay attention now …

YOU ARE ALL FUCKING MORONS.

I mean that COMPLETELY. 

Even ONE of you seriously has the fucking audacity to claim that Stephenie Meyer wrote a BETTER series of books than J.R.R. Tolkien?

You are fucking stupid, AND pathetic.

This is not a difference of opinion here; this is absolute proof of your sickening ignorance over what REAL LITERATURE actually is.

Do you fucking people realize that there would be NO fantasy genre (and yes, most vampire books fall under the genre of fantasy/sci-fi/horror) without J.R.R. Tolkien?

Seriously, he pretty much INVENTED the whole thing, in a way.  He, at the VERY least, made it more popular than it ever was before.

Do you stupid, ignorant fucks realize the man INVENTED A WHOLE NEW LANGUAGE? Specifically for the books?  Several of them in fact!  He INVENTED what is known as “Elvish”.  WITHOUT Tolkien, there would be no Elvish.  There wouldn’t be any fucking ELVES.  He invented the Dwarven language, too!

He invented a language that is still in use TO THIS DAY by fantasy authors.  In fact, almost every fantasy book to come AFTER The Hobbit and LotR is due to J.R.R.’s influence.

Seriously, you said it yourself about Tolkien’s books: You can’t understand them.  And actually, that’s sickeningly pathetic.   You don’t like his books because you can’t understand them.

You wanna know why you can understand SMeyer’s piece of shit book series?  BECAUSE IT’S TOO FUCKING SIMPLE!  Literally.  I know you can’t understand this, because your tiny, uneducated brain can’t comprehend it, but SMeyer’s book are fucking DUMBED DOWN in language and style in hopes to garner readers.

J.R.R. Tolkien was a fucking PROFESSOR and a PHILOLOGIST (look it up) who INVENTED not only genealogies for his characters, BUT ENTIRE FUCKING COHERENT LANGUAGES! And, because he didn’t think that England had enough of a mythology behind it, he fucking INVENTED ONE with LotR. He is considered the father of high fantasy literature. LotR was intended to be one book, but it was so fucking AWESOME (my opinion) that it was split into 3 books, to make people want more after each book.  LotR is also ranked as one of THE MOST POPULAR WORKS OF FICTION OF THE 20th CENTURY!  It took him nearly 10 fucking years to write LotR (that’s fucking dedication!) due to the backstory about Middle-Earth and its inhabitants.  He wrote close to 40 fucking books in his time.  He received the New York Herald Tribune Children’s Spring Book Festival Award for The Hobbit, and the 1957 International Fantasy Award for LotR.  He also received the title of Commander, Order of the British Empire in 1972.  COMMANDER! ORDER OF THE FUCKING BRITISH EMPIRE! Holy shit! He also had a fucking ASTEROID named after him! A fucking ASTEROID!  Do you know how fucking AWESOME you have to be to get a fucking ASTEROID named after you?!  Oh, yes, Tolkien also wrote a handwritten translation and commentary of fucking BEOWULF that was close to 2000 pages long.  Oh, and another thing - Tolkien’s work HEAVILY (quite heavily; I’d go so far as to say purely) influenced one of the world’s most popular and well-known continuing extended series of high fantasy books (and RPG’s): DragonLance/Dungeons & Dragons.

Stephenie Meyer is a sexually repressed Mormon woman, who wrote a book series about a person from a wet dream she had, and has stated she’d leave her husband if her wet dream came to the door.  She’d leave her husband … for a fictional fucking character.  Wow.  (And she writes about supposed “love”.)

J.R.R. Tolkien wrote a series of books about friendship, about different races coming together to fight a dangerous common foe and solve a dangerous common problem; he wrote about love, about loss, about heart; he wrote about bravery, and common goals, and hope and success and defeat in the face of adversary; he wrote an entire history about a created world; he wrote about moving on, about believing in yourself, about believing in your friends, about trials and tribulations; he wrote about the bonds, and rise, of the common good.  He wrote about LIFE.  Period.

Stephenie fucking Meyer wrote about a whiny, twatty little girl who is never happy about anything, hates everybody, is manipulative, treats everyone around her like shit, and can NOT seem to do ANYTHING without a man to help her, and can NOT live without a fucking MAN.  Stephenie fucking Meyer wrote about a fucking sexist, misogynist, mentally and emotionally abusive STALKER who fucking drinks animal blood and calls himself a “vegetarian”, and sparkles in the fucking sunlight.  Stephenie fucking Meyer wrote about a werewolf who isn’t a werewolf, who mouth-rapes the girl, and who turns out to be a fucking pedophile at the end of the series.  Stephenie fucking Meyer wrote about how marriage is more important than sex, and about how having children is more important than your own life.

And you have the fucking gall to call LotR “crap”?

Fuck. Stephenie. Meyer.  Fuck. Her. Fans. And fuck. Her. Worthless. Attempt. To write a book.  And just because she made money off of it is an indication of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, except how fucking naive most teenagers are.

I can almost guarantee you there would be NO Stephenie Meyer, the so-called ‘author’ WITHOUT J.R.R.’s influence.  Why?  Because her books have an element of fantasy in them.  TOLKIEN MADE FANTASY POPULAR AGAIN!

The ONLY reason why Stephenie Meyer’s books were published, AND sold, is because vampires are very popular right now.  Write a book, and say “Oh, and there are vampires in it,” and I can almost guarantee that you’d get published, too.  Because they’re popular.

Yes, Edward and Bella are believable … as a very BAD couple.  They’re the epitome of how NOT to do relationships.

J.R.R. Tolkien’s books are what are referred to as “Literature” for people who ACTUALLY READ AND UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY READ.  Stephenie Meyer’s books are for people who DON’T READ and who REALLY DON’T LIKE BOOKS.  That’s why they’re so fucking ‘easy” to understand.  They don’t make you fucking think, and there is no real conflict in them.  Stephenie Meyer’s books are what are known as “examples of very bad writing.”

—-

J.R.R. Tolkien = One of the best examples of how to write awesome, motivated, and beloved novels that are intricate, well-thought out, researched for years, and - quite literally - epic.

Stephenie Meyer = The best example for how to write for retards.

Stephen King = Wonderful and great example of how to write; also, for how to write many books and many stories that interweave and reference each other throughout each one.  Oh, and also how to write epics, as well.

Stephenie Meyer = Great example of how to write long, boring, contradictory not-quite-stories.

Dean Koontz = brilliant example of how to not only write awesomely creepy supernatural novels and stories (earlier career), but also how to write beautifully uplifting stories of REAL love and hope and happy endings (later career).

Stephenie Meyer = Perfect example of how to write a “how-to” book on horribly abusive relationships.

—-

So, again, fuck you Twihards who think Stephenie Meyer is actually a good author, and that her worthless, contrite pieces of shit “novels” are actually an example of “literature”.  Because with the above picture/quote, you’ve proven, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you know absolutely NOTHING about real literature.

(Like anyone cares, but anyway … )

In this dream, my gf and I were still living in our apartment, but we were housing a bunch of midgets, too.

We didn’t, like, adopt them or anything … we were just “holding” them until their, uh … rightful owners could come get them.  (I think they were lost or something … it wasn’t entirely clear) :-/

Anyway, my gf pulled out a wad of money from her pocket and sat it on the end table, then headed into the bathroom.

I walked into the kitchen to start dinner.

I turn around to glance back into the living room, and the midgets were trying to gobble down the money.

I don’t mean “gobble down” as a metaphor for them trying to steal it.  I mean “gobble down” as in “they were trying to eat the fucking money.”

So, I rushed back into the living room and screamed, “STOP EATING THE MONEY!  STOP IT!  QUIT EATING THE MONEY!”

There was a perfect bite mark taken out of a 5-dollar bill, and one of the midgets had frozen in terror, staring at me, with a quarter in his fingers just an inch or so from his open mouth.

“Put down the money!  We don’t eat money in this house!  STOP EATING THE FUCKING MONEY!”

So … then I woke up.

I realized that this dream was a warning: Midgets are expensive to raise.  Not because they’ll eat you out of house and home, but because they’ll literally eat all your fucking money.

Yeah.

Sunscreen

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of *2010 …

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice … now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth — oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you, and how fabulous you really looked.

You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind — the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts; don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy.

Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind … the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know, didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t; maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40. Maybe you’ll dance the Funky Chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much … or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance … so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it — it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise; politicians will philander; you, too, will get old — and when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect YOUR elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you’re 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy — but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen …"

Baz Luhrmann’s song, Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen); spoken by Lee Perry.  (Lyrics/Essay taken from a Chicago Tribune column written by Mary Schmich.)

*Year changed by me, T.N.

A few things lately have been really bothering me … and I’ve been seeing it more and more online.  It’s the mixing up, or interchanging of words, that do not mean the same thing.

Let’s start with the two most common I see everywhere -

Misogyny and Sexism.

  • Sexism (or being Sexist), is a bias toward a person based on their gender.  It’s not just, or always, men being biased toward women.  There are plenty of female sexists in the world.
  • Misogyny, in its basest form, is the hatred of women.  Which usually includes violence toward women.  And it’s not just limited to men hating women — one can be a woman, and hate other women.  (This type of misogyny is a bit more rare, of course.)  (Also, let’s not forget the term Misandry - which is, at its basest form, a hatred of men.)

Let me also say that while misogyny always involves sexism, sexism does not always involve misogyny.  (The same with misandry - it always involves sexism, but sexism does not always involve misandry.)

Here’s an article that also helps explain the difference between sexism and misogyny.

————

Another word I keep seeing thrown about pretty much everywhere, especially online, is the complete misuse of the word pedophile.  I’ve noticed that everytime a man (and it is usually, unfortunately, used to describe men more often than women) is interested in a woman under the age of 18, he’s immediately dubbed a pedophile.

This is completely wrong, and it abuses the word’s real meaning, which is: Someone who is sexually attracted to children.  And by children, the meaning is: pre-pubescent.  (And, usually, people the age of 13 or under.)

If someone is sexually attracted to, say, someone the age of 16, they are not a pedophile.  The term for that is: Ephebophile.  An ephebophile is someone who is attracted to post-pubescent teens (or adolescents).  Someone who is a pedophile, would not have a sexual attraction to a person who has already hit puberty (unless, of course, the person they’re attracted to pretty much still resembles a child, regardless of the age - but that’s a whole other subject.)

I’ve even heard people go so far as to label a person in their 20’s a pedophile if that person happens to be dating, sexually attracted to, or hitting on someone who’s 18-19 years old.  This is completely stupid, and proves that those who use the term pedophile for the meaning in the last sentence, are completely ignorant of the word’s meaning, and they actually cause problems for people who do not deserve them. The term does not mean “someone over the legal age hitting on someone under the legal age.”

Pedophile is not a term that should just be tossed around.  And it obviously shouldn’t be tossed around by people who don’t know the meaning of the word.

Just because Person A (male or female) is attracted to Person B (male or female), and Person B happens to be underage, does not make Person A a pedophile; not unless Person B is pre-pubescent.

———

A few more terms I keep seeing being used improperly.  People mix these words up all of the time (and yes, it happens a lot online, too), confuse them, use them interchangeably:

Polygamy, Polyandry, Polyamory, Swinger, Polygyny.

  • Polygamy is being married to more than one person at the same time.
  • Polyandry is a woman being married to more than one man at the same time.
  • Polygyny is a man being married to more than one woman at the same time.
  • Swinging - (this brief definition is taken from Wikipedia, which is pretty accurate): Swinging or partner swapping […] is a non-monogamous behavior, in which partners in a committed relationship agree, as a couple, for both partners to engage in sexual activities (sometimes referred to as recreational social sex) with other people. […] The swinging couple regard their sexual activities with other people as a social activity in which they engage as a couple.  Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from an informal social gathering of friends to a swingers’ club and internet-based introduction services.
  • Polyamory is, quite simply, a romantic relationship that involves more than two people, at the same time.

Here is probably one of the best FAQs on Polyamory I’ve ever read.

———

I hope that clears up a lot of confusion.  I would really like to see people starting to use these terms properly and accurately, rather than just tossing them about without knowing the real meaning, or because they think they know the real meaning.

(I’m “You”, of course … )

——

Connecting to server…

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: I think my socks are trying to eat me …

Stranger: Wow.. how did this come about

You: Everytime I put on a pair, they seem to get bigger. Just slightly, mind you. But noticeable.

You: I don’t know WHY my socks think I may be a good food.

You: I don’t think I taste all that great.

Stranger: Maybe socks like that type of thing

You: My socks seem to have a foot fetish, then.

You: And a leg fetish.

You: Pretty soon, it’ll be a knee fetish.

You: I wonder if it’s the hair on my legs or something. Maybe they need floss. Come to think of it, I have noticed the hair on my legs thinning everytime I remove my socks …

Stranger: D:

Stranger: Creeeeeeeeepy.

You: Tell me about it.

You: At least they haven’t started talking to me like my boxer shorts do.

You: Damned things won’t shut up. Keeping me up at night.

Stranger: Oh that’s a shame!

Stranger: Boxers shouldn’t talk!

You: Try telling them that!

You: I’ve tried explaining this.

You: They just argue. >.<

Stranger: How annoying!

You: Constantly harping about crap like ‘repression’ and ‘servitude’; I think a pair of them mentioned something about ‘too much persperation.’

Stranger: What jerks!

You: Yeah, they are.

You: I’m thinking of changing brands.

Stranger: Do that!

Stranger: The other brands might be more kind

You: Of course, they’re awfully quiet when I’m wearing them.

You: Maybe I should just wear them ALL the time.

You: …

You: Or maybe that would just become too nasty.

Stranger: Ahaha.

Stranger: Maybe.

You: Then they may complain about being ‘overworked’ and go on strike.

You: I hate when my underwear go on strike.

Stranger: Never happened to me before :)

You: You’re lucky.

You: I pray your underwear never go on strike.

You: Not a pretty sight.

Stranger: :P

Stranger: I can only imagine

You: No, don’t imagine.

You: PLEASE, don’t imagine.

You: You’ll have HORRIBLE nightmares.

Stranger: Too late stranger

You: Oh no.

You: Horrible nightmares, now?

Stranger: Yes D:

You: I WARNED you not to imagine! But you HAD to be a big shot!

You: The human mind is not capable of handling such … thoughts!

Stranger: :( My mind has gone.

You: I do, however, have a bottle of brain bleach for such occasions!

You: AAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!

You: IT BURNSSSS!!!!

Stranger: Ahahaha. you’re funny

You: Well. That was refreshing.

You: Who are you, again, and what were we talking about?

Stranger: Never mind…

Omegle Fun - "Um"

(Yes, I am "You", and this is one of my favorites … )

Connecting to server…

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: aaaaaaaand…..go!

You: You know what I never want to experience? Being anal probed by aliens.

You: I’ve heard that it’s rather uncomfortable, to say the least.

You: Of course, I guess it could all depend on the size of the anal probe …

Stranger: um….

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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