Happiness is in the heart of the beholder. So with this I smile because God has my heart.
In the world we live in, we often forget the most important thing in life.... God. We get busy, trying to please those around us, family, friends, boy friends/girlfriends,or husbands/wifes. We often push away the one who is always here for us no matter what. The one who has never hurt us. Why do we do this, I don't know, nor am I going to justify it. I'm guilty of it beyond a question of a dought. tho I'm not proud of it, I am neither ashamed to admit.
When we push God off to side, it is at that moment that life as we once knew it is no more. This is the moment when things go from bad to worse. I know that with me, I ofter forget to thank God as soon as things start to head south. and everytime this has happened I have notice that things then began to spiral out of control, and I just wish I where dead. Sometimes it is easy to submit back to God, other times this isn't so.
This last time, thing spiraled so fast out of control, that befor I knew it I was so deeply depressed, and wanted to kill myself... But in a since I have killed off a part of me, making room, for another part, a more profound, Piece of me. With any luck, more so with God's help, the new self will grow and become all I never could become before. I am standing in faith, that something much better is just around the corner. No longer am I knocking on these doors. I will do as God tells me, If he says get up and go, becuase it is time, will then i will get up and ask where are we going.
Just a few weeks ago, I was ripped in pieces. Depression seeped in for a few days, but then, I walked unto my father with my broken heart, and in a matter of seconds I was overfilled with joy and a peace I have never had, deep within me.
Since then I have had good days and great days. Tho some of the people around me have been trying to pull me down, they have been unable to. In an effort of there attemtps, I removed myself from their graps. It may not of been the best descsion I could have made, but it is working for the time, and with God's help, I will be just fine.
