Just L00's blog: "Life"

<!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} -->

A Final Good Bye

By: April Terry

You said I’d always be yours.

You said that you loved me.

You said that you would never hurt me.

Then why are you looking elsewhere?

Why wasn’t I your number one?

Why am I hurting so deep inside?

All I did was love you.

I gave you all I had and then some.

I would have done anything for you.

And all you did was cause pain

All you gave me were empty promises.

And all one lie piled on another.

How could you be so cruel?

How could you leave me for dead?

How can you live with yourself?

I never understood why people could be evil.

I never understood why someone would push away love.

I’ll never understand how your mind works.

I must stay strong for our babies.

I’m all they have in this world.

We both know you won’t be around.

Your to selfish to care about a child.

Your to selfish to even love yourself.

You have to much hate inside.

I feel sorry for people like you.

People who have to look in the mirror,

And all they can see is darkness.

A bitter darkness that is so deep.

One day it eats them alive.

And leave an empty shell.

Good luck to you.

The babies and I will be just fine.

Don’t worry about me.

But do yourself a favor.

Get some help

Before you really hurt someone!

<!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} -->

Invisible!!!

A feeling I am sure we have all known at one time or another.

A feeling that can make you feel alone in this big world.

A feeling that can make you become depressed.

Right now that is just about how I feel.

Yeah I’m a bit emotional these days,

Well duh, I’m 18 weeks pregnant,

And my husband is in another state.

But still, I shouldn’t feel as if I’m invisible,

But yet here I am, feeling more alone then ever.

And the one person who can ease this feeling,

Well is no where in site.

A random phone call would be nice,

Or even a random I love and miss you comment,

Maybe a text or an offline message.

But instead I get nothing of the sort.

I get to feel invisible.

I get to be depressed.

Feeling so alone in my time of need.

And no one quite understand,

What’s going on deep within.

It brings tears to my eyes,

To feel so down, in what should be,

One of the most happiest times in my life.

Not only am I pregnant,

But I’m expecting twins.

Double the joy,

Double the smile.

And now double the pain.

Its not my babies fault.

I love them dearly, and look forward.

To that wonderful day,

When they will arrive in this world.

But I also feel sorry for them.

And don’t look forward to explaining things,

That no mother should ever have to explain.

I dread that day when they will walk up to me,

And say “mommy where’s daddy”

Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.

The choices I made,

I made for them.

I felt and still feel being here is the best for them.

I’ll never regret leaving IL that day,

Specially knowing that my babies will have everything.

And won’t have to go hungry or anything else.

But for now,

I still feel so alone,

And so totally invisible,

That it breaks my heart,

Things went the way they did.

Another feeling in the gut,

This one pierces right threw my heart.

The pain is unbearable.

I feel as if I could die.

Please God make it stop.

Please God make him see.

Why Lord isn’t he happy with me?

What more must I do to save us?

How many more time must my heart break?

Marriage is a sacred thing.

What ever happen to death do us part?

I lift you name on high my Lord!

I praise you with all I have left!

I will abide in you shadow.

Lord help me please!

Be my strength in my time of need.

Open up my husband heart.

Free him of the hold that Satan has.

Release him O’Lord.

I pray to you my father in Heaven.

If anyone can help me,

I know it is YOU.

I put all my faith, love and trust into you lord.

I will do as you call me to.

I ask of you lord please save this marriage.

I love him unconditionally!

And forgive him for anything he’s done to me,

And anything he may do to me.

Just as you forgave me father,

I forgive him.

Thank you Lord for all that you are doing,

And all you have done,

And all that you will do in my life Lord!