Miss Vanima's blog: "stuff"

October was always one of my favorite months... this year it is hard though...  A year ago.. my husband and I split up for what was supposed to be a temporary separation... yeah.. not so much... May our divorce was final. he would rather be with a slut who sleeps with 7 guys in a week then be with his wife... cool no skin off my nose.... well not anymore anyway..

My ex husand and i are completely different people. I know that now.. I also know that we should have NEVER gotten married.. i loved him.. but it wasn't that "get married" kind of love...

over the past year... I have realized a lot about myself... I lived in a depression. I gave up a LOT to be with a man i shouldn't have been with... I have always been someone who LIKED going out with friends... him.. he started that way.. but became a hermit... which caused me to be one too....

I lost touch with GOOD friends... and i have been working on those friendships again.. as well as friendships i NEVER thought i would have again...

Over the past year.. I have realized that i need to LIVE with how i am.. not be a recluse.. Having that nagging "do i have cancer" thought in the back of your head... that made me realize that I needed to live life and screw anyone who says otherwise..

Life is a bitch... you go through hell... but.. growing up is coming out on the otherside and realizing you made it through...

I am happier now then i have been in years...

I may not have the money i once did... i may struggle with bills sometimes... but I am TRUELY happy... and the people that are in my life.... they make it worth it.

and i still love october