miranda jo JUST A FOOL FOR YOU's blog: "nameless"

what's been up with me since last weekend? i went to the beach as planned with michael, josh, pat, chris, allie, jessica, and bree. the weather was VERY hot for november, but unfortunately no one remembered to bring sunscreen and i burned like a forgotten marshmellow roasting on a campfire. oh, i also watched my darling boyfriend set curtis on fire via an exploding can of Off. his burns were WAY worse than my own, poor kid. since i got back from the beach on sunday, i've been avoiding the world. i don't really want to go out into the public until i'm done peeling, but that's kind of unavoidable seeing as i have a doctor's appointmen today and another tomorrow. but i'll keep you posted.

mom has bought into the bullshit yet again, so we are, once again, stuck with cumdrop stepdad. i told mom earlier today that once mick was back, i refuse to stay in this house with him again because he's fucked us over three times and i won't go through that again... mom won't leave because they're married and she's in a commitement and blah blah blah. the way i see it, i have three options: 1. destiny (my little sister) and i could go live with davis (the stepfather i like). the problem with this is i won't be in la porte anymore, and he probably won't let me out of the house EVER. (he's very old fashioned and is working in kirville at the moment.) this is my "last resort option". 2. i could run off and join the renfest under an assumed identity... again, i would only be in the area for like a month every year.... and even then it'd be really expensive to come and see me. not the best plan, but still prefered to option 1. 3. i could get married. this only requires me to forge my mom's signature, which isn't that bad, in my professional criminal opinion... but i've also gotta find someone who will marry me lol. ... i know i sound like i'm on crack, but i promise i'm clean. i just really really REALLY don't wanna be here. perhaps i should get ready for the beach. then maybe i won't sound like i'm an addict. (with the exception of cigarettes.) this weekend i'll be helping my good friend michael celebrate turning 18, so i won't be back until sunday. so message/comment me and i'll get back to you then. oh i don't see myself quitting [smoking] any time soon btw. mick stresses me out by just being within a 100 foot radius of me so i'll probably be smoking more. i hope things are better soon.

wtf is going through my mind right now. mick just got released from brazoria county. like, and i'm not shitting you, TWO FUCKINNG MINUTES ago. mom is getting ready to go pick him up and i am on the verge of a nervous breakdown/anxiety attack/some other fucked up mental disaster... i swear to god, or allah, or the fucking trees or whatever/whoever you believe in as a higher power... if he doesn't talk to me or touch me, i think i'll be okay but so help me if he says or does ANYTHING to piss me off i'm leaving immediately. i will go sleep on a fckn park bench or under the bridge or something. i hope i don't fuck up. (i.e. scream the wrong obscenity at him or throw something at him or do something else to get me or anyone else in trouble.) ... i can't wait for this weekend. being with josh and michael and jessica (and possibly chris) will make me feel better.

i'm in love with chris. i told him yesterday and, as it turns out, he loves me too. he told me that even though we haven't known each other for very long, he could see himself growing old with me. i can honestly say that's the first time anyone has ever said that to me, let alone the first time i believed it. we were walking around the mall of the mainland at about 12 am and he asked me why i loved him. i described it like this: you know when you're standing at the edge of a really tall building, looking down? you get that exhillarating feeling like you're about to find out what it feels like to fly, but at the same time you're scared of landing... that's what i feel when i'm with him. so this hasn't turned out at ALL the way i planned. i'm very impressed that he hasn't cheated or even given me a reason not to trust him. i'll keep you posted.

the guy i'm currently dating is pretty great. he talked with me over the phone until 5 this morning. he likes to talk, which is good because i like to listen, and these are some of the things he said to me last night: 1-he thinks i'd get along with his mom more than i will his dad because i'm such a nice person and so's his mom. 2-he said he's pro-choice- but it's not that, if he got a girl pregnant, he wouldn't want the baby, but it's not his body. 3-apparently, his friend allie says i've changed him. when i asked him what she meant he said that he's nicer to other people now that he's with me. and then there's the things he says about me... which, to be honest, i've heard them all before, (i have a smile that lights up a room, i have beautiful eyes, etc), but it's still sweet. i love it when he makes me laugh too. but enough about that. i have things to do, in a manner of speaking. later.

i knew my stepdad was a piece of shit. he wrote my mom a letter from jail and told her that he has STILL been drinking and lying to her about being sober... which just confirms what i've been trying to tell mom ever since we ended up back here in july. so now, when i see him next time and he gets pissed off at me for being "disrespectful to him as my elder", he has no leg to stand on. i'm so fckn happy right now. does that make me a bad person? probably, but ignorance is bliss so i don't wanna know. today's a beautiful day- i think i'll go read in the sun...

seriously... quit your bitchin'! if you're so sick of all the old friends who you don't talk to anymore, stop whining to everyone and DO something about it. i don't want to listen you your bullshit, especially because YOU burned those bridges with the people you say you miss so much. i was there when you walked all over all of your so-called "friends", and i think you're a stupid cunt for looking to me to justify your actions. i told you the truth: 1. you know DAMNED WELL you fully remember cheating on doug with that one man-whore IN MY BED. you didn't black out, it wasn't rape. and then you tried to pass off the hickey he gave you on me- FUCK THAT. you knew kylie caught you, and then you lied about it, and i wasn't going to lie to her so i told her the truth. 2. if you ever tell someone i consider a part of my family to go slit her wrists, or call her a cunt again... i'm going to inform your poor mom as to how many times you've said you've been with me over the summer when you were really off with your boyfriend getting knocked up and having abortions. USE A FUCKING CONDOM. 3. just because you're rich does not make me, nor anyone else for that matter, your bitch. you've got arms and legs, do it your damned self. don't complain about how hard life is because you've never worked a day. ..... alright. done being pissed. goodnight.

my ex hangs around me/my house/my family a lot. it makes me uncomfortable when i wake up to him knocking on my bedroom door. i understand that there's a love there but it is NOT a mutual thing. i have recently found out that even though we're NOT dating... he told jackie (my best friend) that he wanted to propose to me and even sent her a picture of the ring he wanted to get me. this freaked me out because he's been pushing me to meet his family and i'm NOT, i repeat, N O T going to marry him. so i have to get this notion out of his head before he takes it too far. thanks to a very "creative" fubarian friend of mine... i've decided to tell him one of two things to get him to back off: option #1: i'm working for the cia gathering information on a possible terrorist attack anf he's going to blow my cover if he keeps invading my "life". option #2: i (may) have feelings for someone else and i'm not interested in a relationship with you. i'm sorry if this hurts you but i would've thought, since when you asked me out i said no, you'd have gotten the message. i think he's going to show up at my house today so that's when i'll tell him. i'll keep you posted.

i listened to the voters on my mumm last night and did NOT go to denny's. INSTEAD my best friend jackie invited michael (my ex) over to my house at midnight. we ended up watching a movie and then jackie and i crawled into bed together while michael sat in a chair and talked to us. i got him to leave at like 3:30, but he came back with mcdonald's of all things. jackie took the fries and then i made him go home AGAIN. i understand that he loves me but fucking with my sleep schedule without my consent is not the way to win my heart. i'll keep you posted.

like i said, i went to the river with my friend jackie, little sister, dad, and stepdad (the one i like). i got to sleep next to jackie (who is a female in case you're wondering) all weekend. we ate really well, because both my dad and stepdad are amazing cooks, jackie and i went for a couple walks to enjoy the wildlife, and she picked me some flowers. we decided we would date (but only jokingly because her fiancee is very against it and he's like a brother to me). all in all, my weekend was great. i'm happy.