Are people really there when you need them the most?
Or do people just pretend?
Is there real meaning in this world?
Or just caoust?
Is there really soul mates?
Or just partners?
Wonders Wonders
In my heart the darkness touches trying to fill every inch of my heart.
I sit and wonder what it will take to make the darkness reseed.
I wonder where I will get the strength to continue my fight.
Whom will still be standing by my side.
Will there ever be that someone that can take me, as I am
And forever keep me.
Help me to lock away the darkness that holds tight.
That someone just to lean on.
Share everything thought, every feeling.
I wonder how alone one person can feel?
Does every heart ever heal?
If it does heal is it perfact back together....
Or like a broken mirror mended, back together
But forever distorted?
Always to feel pain n fear.
Never allowing ones self to trust, completly.
To live everyday to its fullest.
To have faith
To take chances in anything.
To make the leaps needed.
Love, is it suppose to take away the pain?
Or does it just bring more?
Is it worth it?
They say life is ment to be lived for love, of all types
But what ones soul searches for, the always IN love feeling
Sharing a life with that person.
Truly loving trusting and just enjoying that person.
Is it worth it?
Searching everyday to find it
When you find it doing anything possiable to hold it
Is it worth it?
I ask myself, never finding an answer.
Or does the answer come when you find that person?
Or am I looking in the wrong place within myself?
I lay in wait for the I have my answers.
I wonder in which form they will come.
From me and my own mind and heart?
Or in one of my friends whom are dear to me?
Or be in the form of the man I choose to give my
Heart,
Body,
Soul
to.
With every touch he warms my darkness.
Turning every dark inch into the light.
Slowly bring me out.
Into the freedom of that special love.
Is love really it? The cure?
The happiness everyone looks for?
No matter how hurt n broken they have been?
Just to feel those arms around you, is it worth it?
I see I am not a perfadt person. I see that improvements that need made. WHen I try to be open, I get repormanded When I try to be nice it is said I am still being this cold hearted bitch.
Sometimes I wonder, would I be more liked if I changed completly?
I see myself as a generaly fun loving person. I always laugh. Smile. Somewhat....kinda sorta...SLIGHTLY....(hehe lieing threw my teeth I know...hush).....insane person. With generally a pretty good all around personality. Yes sometimes ok Most times I am too serious. Need to lighten up.
Oh sure theres more to my personality. Thats just the basics most people see. Before I decied if they are special enough to see my deeper parts.
If you change little parts of who you are it causes a ripple affect in your enite being, your very soul. Yes some changes such as this are good for that soul.
I have a few sould changes I have been working on. Getting my head screwed on straight. Still messing up with a few things and a few people. I am trying ( I know I know....try is a fail word, best I got...bear with me) seems I need help sometimes to stay on track, little kick in the ass once in a while.
But my soul has been touched by many people in life.......with some good.......alot of bad.......this is who I have come to me. Yes I need to change. But do I realy need to change that much?........Seems I irriatate everyone around me half the damn time. No matter how I am. Is it Me. Or them?
