As I look over my whole life, I realize there was only one person that was always there for me if I ever had something that brought a tear to my eye. To love me unlike nobody ever has. As I wake to my newly created Hell, I realize that angel is not here and cannot see my soul that I am being honest. When the one you really needed and your heart wanted, is no longer there. At that moment you realize just what it's like to actually feel like your world has been pulled from your life and you are soulless and meaningless. They're no longer there to hold you tight and tell you it's alright, to wipe that tear away from your crying eyes, to love you when no one cares and be there when you are scared. I made a big mistake that I can't seem to fix. My nightmare I've always feared is finally here. Hoping and wishing something will make the day brighter, but at sunrise, no bright sun, just complete darkness. Nothing to look forward to, no one to smile and share laughter with. No one to talk about growing old with. No one to hold and call your own or even your baby. I've been through alot, but finally I got my what was coming to me. Pure heartache and pain, I've never known love could hurt so much. But just shows that even a guy that has the greatest intentions and that can be a hopeless romantic can't be and is not meant to be truly happy... Guys like me where put here to see how bad the world is and just see love all around, but never have it completely to ourselves. Just wonder in sorrow and loneliness. Nobody to truly love us or want to be with us, even in the hardest of times... I'm so sorry for every bad thing I've done in my life and I hope someone is listening so perhaps in later years, I may earn forgiveness... but until then, I must return to my neverending nightmare of heartache and pain....
To Be Continued...........