Saved The Best For Last's blog: "My Life"

In time, cause I know that all I have left in this precious life is time, and it's growing shorter by the minute, but yea, what I want is that I want to eventually have a son to where I can take out fishing and even if it's his first time fishing, I want to teach him how to fish. I know how to fish, but I have never taken a fish off the hook. I'd love to take off my first fish with my son. To experience the same thing he is going through at that exact moment. To share that feeling with him. "Hey, the first fish I ever took off, was with my dad, and it was his first time too." To share that type of experience with him, that's all that matters. To have a special moment with your son... Even if it meant it was a daughter, I don't care. I still want to be able to judge what guy is right for her and to protect her with all my might and to walk her down the aisle, even if it means, I'll ball my eyes out, just something you have to expect, if u ever want to be a father. Just to make sure she's never treated badly and to do my best to help her find this Mister Right that she's meant to be with... To truly let my daughter go, that's the next biggest step in life. To let the one who you love, to left go to someone who is meant to have her. We all want the best for our kids, even though in some cases they are not even born yet It doesn't matter. Things happen. You always try ur hardest for ur kids. Regardless if ur kids turn out to be someone else's. If you get with her and things work out, doesn't matter. They're apart of her and for that, they deserve as much of respect as their mother does... I just want who ends up having me as their dad, doesn't matter who, to just know, I'll love them as their my own. The woman I'm meant to be with, I know she'll be my entire world and everything I stand for, and I'll love her for her, not what she can do for me, but for who she really is, and how she loves me. That's all that matters in life. You just have to do with what you have and what u see. Don't keep trying and think u deserve better, just realize how much beauty you have right in front of you and accept it!!!! Cherish every minute of it and never let it go. As for my journey now...... I found someone that TRULY amazes me and I love so much and she doesn't even know it. I know she doesn't feel I try hard enough, but yea, I hope soon, I home something can happen to where she will truly realize what she means to me. But not to think negatively, if I'm not right for her, I'll have to continue my journey for love, another time and start over, but my life's journey is still yet to come and when it happens, I'll love every minute of it and look forward to it so badly! For now, it's just me, nobody to worry about, but me, my life will have to wait, unless the person that cares about me enough, will be patient... but who knows, we'll see... As always, TO BE CONTINUED............

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away. Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed. If birds flying south is a sign of changes At least you can predict this every year. Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly I can't get it to speak Maybe finding all the things it took to save us I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me Look in your eyes to see something about me I'm standing on the edge and I don't know what else to give. Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away. Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed. How can I love you If you just don't talk to me, babe. I flow through my act The question is she needed And decide all the man I can ever be. Looking at the last years like I did, I could never see us ending like this. Seeing your face no more on my pillow Is a scene that's never happened to me. But after this episode I don't see, you could never tell the next thing life could be Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away. Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed.

You remind me of a flower so soft and gentle, And when in the breeze your petals sway, I think of your kind and loving way. Your smile is so inviting and bright, That it opens my eyes and I can see your light, Which fills my body with pure delight. Your eyes are dark and mysterious, And they make me feel like I'm delirious, Which reminds me that the love I eventually may have for you will be very serious. Your beauty will never be matched, And that is why my heart you snatched.

I know some ppl might not think the way I live my life is the right way. But to me, it's the best way you can live. I live each day as if it were the last time I'd see the ones I care about, just incase it ever is. I want them to know if and when anything did happen. I did everything I could in my power to help them and have fun and spend time with them. To be the best I can be. Not like some ppl to where they take everything for granted. Nothing is guaranteed. Just cherish every moment you are given with everyone you meet and care for. Go out of your way to help someone in need. Atleast that's how I live. I want to be remembered as someone who was different and who truly cared about how they treated ppl. Not to be remembered as someone who was self centered or conceited. That's not me at all. I was brought up better than that and I KNOW I can do better. Who cares if I am never truly happy, just knowing I made another life happy, simply cause of something I did, then you betcha... I'd love that and just knowing when I do things to help ppl, that's all I care about. I love helping ppl any chance I get. My friends know me as someone they can call on and if I can help, I'll do anything in my power to do so. I love all my family and friends and would do anything for them... But I'd truly someday like to be happy with someone and not be lonely anymore. But it's up to God, and if it's my purpose to always stay single... who knows. I guess time will tell......... To Be Continued...

I know your out there somewhere. But I don't know when I'll get to you and I'm not even sure if perhaps I've already met you. I'm still here hoping to find you. I'm tired of all the games and all the pain and hurt. I want to give you everything you deserve and everything else every other guy has not done or given you. I'm in a downtime right now, but once I get back up on my feet, the skies the limit and I'll be back the way I was prior to everything temporarily going wrong in my life. I don't care where you could be, I'll come and find you. Every guy doesn't realize how important the love of a woman is. For the guys out there that know how to treat a woman and were brought up the correct way. That IS the "Meaning Of life"... To have the love of a woman. But then again, who am I to say that I'll ever find you, with everything every other woman has put me through, it's really brought me down. Still, I continue trying to find you and will spend every lasting minute doing so. I could never truly give up on love. It's the greatest power we have, it's sad to know some ppl don't realize how great of a gift God gave us, when he gave us the power to love and to be loved... In ending of this entry, I want to list the lyrics of a song, my heart and soul only wish it could of came up with it... I hope you enjoy it and I hope regardless whereever you are, you eventually read it. I'll never turn my back on you and never walk away, but I will stand and fight with every last breath I have to make sure your safe for all time! Enjoy.... When I see your smile tears roll down my face I can't replace. And now that I'm strong I have figured out how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul, and I know ill find deep inside me, I can be the one. I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven. it's ok. it's ok. it's ok. And seasons are changing and waves are crashing and stars are falling all for us days grow longer and nights grow shorter I can show you I'll be the one. I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven. Girl you're my you're my my true love my whole heart please don't throw that away. Cause I'm here, for you please don't walk away and please tell me you'll stay, stay... Use me as you will pull my strings just for a thrill and I know ill be okay though my skies are turning gray. I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all even if saving you sends me to heaven. I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all even if saving you sends me to heaven

What could I say about her? I've only known her for what some people would say is a short time, alittle over a year. The only thing I can think of when I think of her. She's beautiful, amazing and I love her, but unfortunately she doesn't feel anything close to that for me. I'd give her the world, but she doesn't want to be a part of a world that consists of me. This is the second time she says she wants to be with me and she wants a relationship and then at the very end, she changes her mind and says she just wants to be friends. She has said in the past she just wants someone to start a life with and she doesn't want to play games, but all I can think, she's confused about what she wants. I've done everything I can and could of for her. From this point on, it's all on her. A weekend with her in the woods was beyond amazing. Everything about it was just Heavenly! But welcome to my life. truthfully, she comes over and I feel so happy, but it's not at all how she feels, she's very confused. I felt so amazing to where nothing could bring me down, but the one thing I never thought would bring me down, did exactly that. I send out my strongest prayers and wishes to her future and happiness. I am SO SO SORRY if you ever do change ur mind, which I pray you would, but I highly doubt it, you know where to find me, but yea... If we meet again........ Goodbye, "as I always say, "BE CAREFUL!" :-( A WORLD WITHOUT YOU Written By Andy Dedicated to Beth A World without you What would I do No Smiles, no giggles Oh how I'd miss the way your nose wiggles Everyday would be gray No more happy times, nor any precious memories Who'd know or even miss Your sweet gentle kiss And amazing embrace I would without a doubt This is everything that I'm about! Your eyes, your touch I just want you to know I love you so much..... ou could say it's both heaven and hell, the vacation was heaven, but as always, you have to always come back to hell... sucks when ppl don't care about feelings, but yea, everything comes back around.... nothing i can do... just be as patient as i can and what you don't have now, will come in time! i bet at this exact moment she's having fun and not even thinking about me... that is the perfect example that she was playing me. for me to never cross your mind and you just be having fun and all, it's not fair to say what you say, and then do what you do. if you say it, you should mean, not just say it for the hell of it, it's just not right! I hope you never go through it, cause you'll see, it truly is hell to think you are the most luckiest guy and then basically have a door slam you in the face and you realize your nothing to that person but a piece of shit, it hurts to think they really do care about you and find out they truly don't... i don't think i could do that to even my worst enemy. when you mess with someone's feelings, that's the biggest thing you could do.... but i'm wasting my time, your young and think you know probably everything about feelings and love, u'll do what you want and not listen to anything i have to say, i wish you'd take some things to heart i say to you... i can't do this anymore, i really truly care for you alot and it's killing me right now, cause i know you could give a shit about me.... i have to give up, you can't make someone feel something that they don't, life's cruel, nothing you can do, not even if you try your hardest... one person can't change the world, but atleast to some lives, it can do alot of good, that's the least I want with the lives i touch...

Angie... You have to do what you have to... You can't allow someone to run your life. If u truly love someone, u have to let it know.. Regardless what ur threatened with, if you feel it, then it's true... If you truly feel scared for yourself, you should feel scared for your children, cause they are apart of you and you stay, then they stay in the same situation as you... Should your children be eventually put through what your being put through right now?? I know it's their father, but would you want a father to put you through that, or would you want a father to be alot better and nicer??? You have a choice right now in life... Either continue living your life the way it is right now or let someone replace what u've been through...??? Regardless what ur ex has in mind or is capable of, I'm very sure the TRUE guy is capable of taking care of things his own way!!!!!!! Don't ever let ur heart go... If ur heart tells u something, follow it, don't let it go.... Stop being a puppet in your own life and take control of it and make ur own choices.... please, it's not so hard or so bad.... The life u've lived makes it seem hard......

A best friend is someone who will wait outside for you regardless how long it takes. Someone who will cut things sort, cause they know you have no where else to go. A best friend is someone who is always then when u call upon them and come to you, when they know they need you. Regardless what the costs, they get there regardless. No matter the cost, a best friend will drive an hour to help you with groceries, cause they care and want you to be happy as you are for them... That's how friends are.........

In my whole 28 yrs, as far back as I can remember. Most women are just way too shallow than they should be. I know there has to be some attraction, but does that mean, just cause someone isn't a Brad Pitt or George Clooney, they are not good enough to talk to? That's what truly upsets me. I've seen it happen to me sometimes and my friends and those who I care about. I have a feeling that's probably how it is with personal ads and crap. A guy might be on there and maybe he's just looking for friends and someone to talk to. A good percentage of women overlook him just cause he's not cute. Just cause he may not be attractive to you, doesn't mean he's not fun to talk to and a blast to hang out with. Too judgemental or too shallow, not quite sure which it is. Perhaps it's alittle of both, or even ALOT of both. Then this brings me to my next part. For those women out there that are like this, they get into a relationship with a hunky Brad Pitt wannabe or something, and they take advantage of the power of the woman they have and mistreat her, then the woman whines and calls all guys assholes, but yet, she can sit there and think her shit doesn't stink and just simple guys that are just looking to chat have some stinky shit. I don't understand it for the most part. I'm trying to though. Some girls shouldn't be mistreated, but I am starting to think the ones that mistreat guys just cause their looks sometimes deserve what they get for the most part. If you do treat guys like this and you get mistreated, you should be grown up about it and don't whine and moan about how all guys are dicks and assholes now just cause some guy did something way over due. I'm personal proof to everyone out there. I met this one girl, she was beautiful beyond ur own imagination. I met her and yea, I was nervous, tried to be myself, but couldn't, cause of how nervous I was, cause how beautiful she was. She took that to mind. I don't know what she thought, but yea, obviously she thought she deserved better and those who know me, know how I truly am when I'm not nervous and I wish she could know that part, but from how it went. I crashed and burned, oh well, it's just a regular shallow woman that doesn't want to take the time to realize that looks only last a short while, then u have to live with that for the rest of ur life. So boo hoo for me. It's not gonna sink any ship of mine.... A born again christian has to keep a positive mind, cause that's how you can in this world, until things get better. Regardless what others say to you or do to you, you have to rise above it.... I wish she would have took a chance, but she didn't, she goes by looks, so screw it!!! I'm me, and that's all I can be. Someone else will come up in time, I just have to be patient and wait for it, but then again, the past can come back, which is what I am possibly holding out for... who knows, cause truly, why am I still here? I have the experience and training, why am I still here? Am I waiting for the right one to come along or is it something else??? What else could I be waiting for? I just know who ever catches me, deserve everything I could give her, plus a hell of alot more................... but we'll see... past or future.......... we'll see..... All I could ask for, is the guidance from a very close friend, who is my BEST friend, and he knows who he is... if anything can change things, it'd be him.. the guy who I think the world of and love as a brother. Without him the world would always be dark and any chance of being happy would be lost, cause I wouldn't have him around anymore... and I couldn't be at all happy without knowing he was around and being happy... His happiness comes before mine and he's the greatest to me. I know I'm older than him, but yet, there's nothing more I'd want to be, than to have been someone like him. I TRULY wish I had someone like him to idolize growing up, cause he's been an amazing inspiration to my life... and I'll never forget the times I've had to share with him, it's been oh so amazing, if every friend could be like him, the world would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better! Just know him, you'd think the same thing..... *TO BE CONTINUED....................

Hello again, my dear friends... Well I went Round two with a crush, as most of you would think, crashed and burned.....again!!! She said I was too obsessed with her. But the fact of the matter is. I wanted communication and she hardly ever communicated. There has to be good communication between two people to have a sucessful relationship. Not to where she never called me, I had to always call her. I went 90, she went 10, if that. It wasn't equal. It all ended w/ a very hurtful and uncalled for msg on MySpace. What doesn't kill ya, can only make you stronger. Atleast I hope for my case, it doesn't take long. A crushed heart is a terrible thing to have. Here is what she wrote to finish me off...: look there's somethings that i need to work out and if you're always there and calling me and texting me i will never be able to ever be friends let alone anything else. im more into girls right now than guys and that does include you into the guy group. basically i am trying in a nice way to tell you to leave me the fuck alone. i never wanted to be that way with you but you are way too obsessed with me. it's no longer just love or even infatuation it's obsession. you always asked everybody what you should do whether you should just leave me alone or if you should try harder... well they always wanted to say to leave me alone but they were being nice and hoping that you would catch all of the hints but since you didn't you can just hear it from me straight up leave me alone and if i ever want to talk to you again i will call you i have your number and i will one day probably talk to you again. bye andy The best way to describe how I'm feeling right now would be in a song. Best song I can think of is "Help Me Understand" by Trace Adkins and another song is "You're Gone" by Diamond Rio. To be continued...... (as always)