Saved The Best For Last's blog: "My Life"

The best song you could be listening to, as you read this would be "Find Out Who You're Friends Are" by Tracy Lawrence, Tim McGraw, Kenny Chesney. But anyway, as I was going to say... You can go through life completely thinking and feeling all alone. But at times at your most unknown hour. You realize who truly your friends are. Even though to you they may feel hidden or unseen. But they are there. Like my friend Jon, he's been my friend through thick and thin, even at times when we were so young, I always felt like I ditched him for other things. But truly now, he's always been the greatest friend I've ever had. I've felt he's screwed things up for me, but if not for what I thought, I wouldn't be who I am today. He is the greatest guy and I'll love him as a friend forever, as my best friend... He always tries to be there when u need help and he's there when u need someone to talk to. He'll never turn his back on you, if he truly knows you need him, he'll be there in a second to help you. He truly is a GREAT gift from God and I know that everyone that has passed is looking down on him with great pleasure and great love with all that he's done and they are so unbelievably happy for what GREAT of a man he's become!!! What more could anyone ask for in a human being than what God has given us with Jon. I do truly know as a born again Christian, that God is blessing him with many things in his life, even though he has not realized or seen what things those are, he'll eventually come to realize, how truly blessed he is.... He's a great guy and I'm so greatful to have him in my life. He might not know how much I appreciate him, but it's beyond my imagination on what' he's done to my life to have him it it. I don't know what I'd truly do without him. What can I say, he truly is...."MY BEST FRIEND......" I love him dearly and will never forget him and if he ever needs me, I'll always be there for him, no matter what, cause he's like a brother to me....... "TO BE CONTINUED................" p.s I LOVE YA BROTHER!!!! P.S. 2: this song should be dedicated to you man!! You're the greatest and deserve the best outta life that it can give.... Run your car off the side of the road Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere Get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back Need a floor need a couch need a bus fare This is where the rubber meets the road This is where the cream is gonna rise This is what you really didn't know This is where the truth don't lie You find out who you're friends are Somebody's gonna drop everything Run out and crank up their car Hit the gas get there fast Never stop to think 'what's in it for me' or 'it's way too far' They just show on up with their big old heart You find out who you're friends are Everybody wants to slap your back wants to shake your hand when you're up on top of that mountain But let one of those rocks give way then you slide back down look up and see who's around then This ain't where the road comes to an end This ain't where the bandwagon stops This is just one of those times when A lot of folks jump off When the water's high When the weather's not so fair When the well runs dry Who's gonna be there

Sometimes in life, things make you cold. If they don't, they just plainly make you old. You can accept people for who they are and who they are not. But who's fault is that? The world has become so out of it since the freaking 70's. What happened? You can judge ppl now, and you expect to be happy? Some are, some have no compliants, but come on. What the hell is going on? If you just do something on the whim and you find something so special, u'd of never known if you wouldn't have taken that chance. What about that? There are many ppl out there like that, that took a chance and realize they couldn't be any happier than they are now, with that one special person cause they didn't judge and just took a chance. But now in this day and age, it's not right, it's just not logical. Fuck you, it is logical, cause it's all what your heart tells you. You weren't given a choice in this life, you were given the chance to live and live as hard as you could dream, cause the worst fate to that is death, so screw what others say, live how your heart tells you, don't live on gossip or any other shit like that, live how you want to and love as deep as you can feel and see it. For then, when this whole journey is over, you lived your life how you wanted to, not how others choose right for you, but you and only you can choose what makes you

Sometimes things happen you have no control over. You could be anywhere at any time and see things you'd never thought possible. Perhaps your at a car show and walking around and you see it in the corner of your eye... The most amazing thing you've ever seen. The sweetness of her lips, the type of eyes that you could get lost in, even if just for mere seconds. Just so happens their eating an ice cream cone and you catch them off guard. In time, talking and seeing each other remotely, you may start to develop light feelings for them and in your prayers at night, you ask for the chance they feel the same as you do. In your dreams, anything is possible. Let your heart run wild and reinact what it may be like when you do finally get to meet an angel that fell from the Heavens above and you must protect her and never allow a tear fall from those precious eyes, or else if a tear falls, the world will become forever cloudy and dismal! For it is up to you to show everyone that you are capable of being everything she could possible need or want. Open doors for her, be polite, defend her honor if you hear anyone say anything bad. Ride up and rescue her and ride off into the sunset setting in a clearly perfect sky.............. Prove her over time, you will never hurt her and everything you say is true. In time she may realize it's real and you're real and when that moment comes, then you'll see your eternity in just a glance of her sweet smile, amazing eyes, beautiful hair and precious hands......

To Suffer A Smile All the days I have lived, I have worked towards one goal, to be loved and cherished by everyone, to know when I leave this peril called life, I will be remembered well. Is this truly important? Should be placed so high on my list, maybe not, but from the day I spoke my first word, I have wanted to make people smile, to make others happy, or to see I have some purpose. Day by day, I wear the scars of my past pain on my face, in the form of a frown. I wonder if anyone is ever happy, I mock their gleeful laughter and happy grins, saying no one can ever honestly feel that good. Is it I am jealous that I can't smile like them? I can't forget all the sorrow in the world and be selfishly spoiled. Me feeling the burden of social injustice, guilty because of a smile. As if a upturned lip could make any difference, a sanctuary in a world of chaos. I have cried for lost souls that have once smiled, hoping the tears I have shed, are heard by them wherever they are now. Wanting to make a change, but I lack the will and strength to help. I cannot push myself hard enough. By that I feel I add to everyone's pain. Suffering because I can't stop their suffering..... to be continued......

When life doesn't always go your way and things you've always wanted to come true don't... Don't get lost and feel hopeless. You must rebuild your energy and confidence in yourself and find yourself over again. Don't ever let life get you down, as I am learning with my life according with relationships... Doesn't seem like it's working out for me... The one I want, I can't have, so I try to find someone else to take the pain away, but the pain is still there, even though it is hidden. You can still feel it and it'll always be in the back of your mind. Regardless, you have to stand tall and show the world it's not gonna take you down that easy. Don't let doubt get you down, the world is filled with possibilities... I know there's doubt in her mind, but yea, guys suck, most of them are liars and don't care about others feelings. If she just opened her heart once for me, she'd realize there was never any reason to fear me. I just wanna scream at the top of your lungs and wished she could hear me say: Here I am - this is me There's no where else on earth I'd rather be Here I am - it's just me and you And tonight we make our dreams come true It's a new world - it's a new start It's alive with the beating of young hearts It's a new day - it's a new plan I've been waiting for you Here I am Here we are - we've just begun And after all this time - our time has come Ya here we are - still goin' strong Right here in the place where we belong Here I am - next to you And suddenly the world is all brand new Here I am - where I'm gonna stay Now there's nothin standin in our way Here I am - this is me

Of course everyone that has grown-up, you start life with crushes and sometimes you with crushes you were never able to make happen to where you two can be together. Sometimes throughout life, you might get to experience what it's like to be with a crush, those who experience it, it's like a dream that you wish you couldn't wake up and wished the dream would go on for all times. Crushes are just that, a temporary dream for your inner-mind. Once you've lived a crush, you will never want to let go and you'll do everything in your power to keep it in your life. You will never want to let it out of your hands and will almost want to die trying. I feel now that I am living a crush come true. Just feel it as a 'GIFT' God has given you for a job well done. God sees those who've done good and he does his best to do what he can for you. Crushes are only temporary and will NOT always stay PERMENANT.... I feel this crush God has made come true for me beings I've always tried to do good for everyone. Be nice and don't always try to expect too much to come out of hard situations. Always do your best, as he is also doing the same. Even though I am living a crush as we speak at this time, I am still not going to give up atleast for another week. I feel that regardless how much I try, I will just get hurt even more. But in my heart right this very second. I can only see myself being with that one person I've had a crush on for the last few years. The harder you try, the worse your going to feel and I am going to prove that to everyone who likes reading what I write. I can't give up on my crush, as anyone would do there best not to as well. Just the circle of life for everyone. Sometimes you get lucky and sometimes you don't, but shit happens... What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger... Remember that for those of you reading this. But regardless, I'm going to re-enlist into the Air Force Reserves this time. However this ends, it's gonna end bad and I'm going to really get my heart broken, but it's already been breaking for quite some time, so oh well... let myself be a lesson for yourself... Don't be stupid... Crushes hurt worse than anything, but be safe and if you wish to try real hard for a CRUSH, I'd say, "GO FOR IT!!!" but that's because I wanted this to happen for so long and it did and now I crashed and burned, no survivors.......especially not my heart... Be safe and do what your heart tells you to do. Jessica didn't want to be with me, or else she would have shown it by standing up for herself... Life restarts now, just becareful on who you give your heart to, cause it might turn out to be a big mistake, but that's a life lesson! Remember that, you live and you learn, that's all anyone could ask for God.... He allowed you to be born, to be loved, but with GOOD, there will ALWAYS be a bad. Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you more strong....... *TO BE CONTINUED............*

here I am again... I've made mistakes in my past, but within the past 48 hrs, I've really screwed my life up beyond control... I can't retake my position on what I want... I did something I didn't know would backfire. But due to the fact, I have just signed up to be contacted by another Air Force recruiter and I AM going back, I am going to fight the wars for my country... what best way to show those I love and care for them than that? I'm going to be getting contacted by a recruiter and the first chance I get, I am going.... I made a bad judgement and due to the fact that the person I care about doesn't believe me, I have to show everyone, I'm not that bad of a guy... I HAVE TO JOIN OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS OVER THERE!!!! I am sorry to those who are against this, and I hope certain ppl don't know my intentiosn, but I can't sit here and be alone and be screwed, I'd rather be over there fighting for a reason than be stuck here and get screwed over by someone who doesn't know what being treated good means compared to all the guys in this whole world... I AM sorry for her though, that she doesn't realize what true feelings and true care is, but who knows, maybe sometimes ppl realize what they had, after they lost it and can't make up for it..... but as of the date my recruiter tells me I'm going, I'M GONE.... just wsh I could have been with her once more............... but that's my luck and I hope my luck is better over there, I appreciate all those who care about us, once I get over there, that is... I know I'm going, with my abilities and skills, then u'd know.... I've already been through this before so I know... God Bless all and I'll miss those who I know who care... as with everyone... take care and the last thing I ask, don't judge. Just care about each other.. Everyone deserves possibly atleast a 3rd chance, atleast I did, but thus far, never got it, but hopefully before I go, I hope I do, God help me I do, this ex/pre-soldier, that's my last wish... before I go over... but who knows, maybe things happen prior and I'll get with her, maybe I won't.... maybe my love with go towards the USA and fight my life for single individual in the world... let this be a passage from my nephew in the Army National Guard..... (I have to aleast go and fight with him, I can't let family fight alone) : To everybody back home, Back home now I know you're prob'ly sleeping, But over here it's the middle of the day. I finally found some time to write a letter, Sittin' here a half a world away. I heard about all them folks protesting, As if I really want this war. But that don't stop me believing, There're just some things worth fighting for. And if I die before you wake, I pray the world will take A good look at what God's given us. If we could only understand Everything is in HIS hands. All we nee is a little faith and trust. I want you to know it ain't too high a price to pay If I die before you wake.... Tell everybody that I miss them, and I can't wait to get back home. Until then, I'll serve my country and be proud to wear this uniform. And if I die before you wake, I pray the world will take A good look at what God's given us. If we could only understand Everything is in HIS hands. All we nee is a little faith and trust. I want you to know it ain't too high a price to pay If I die before you wake.... No ain'tI too high a price to pay If I die before you wake....

hold on to me love you know i can't stay long all i wanted to say was i love you and i'm not afraid can you hear me? can you feel me in your arms? holding my last breath safe inside myself are all my thoughts of you sweet raptured light it ends here tonight i'll miss the winter a world of fragile things look for me in the white forest hiding in a hollow tree (come find me) i know you hear me i can taste it in your tears holding my last breath safe inside myself are all my thoughts of you sweet raptured light it ends here tonight closing your eyes to disappear you pray your dreams will leave you here but still you wake and know the truth no one's there say goodnight don't be afraid calling me calling me as you fade to black

Before i let you go Give me just one more night to show you Just how i feel I lost all my control If it takes my whole damnned life i'll Make this up to you Im kinda like the waves that roll their whole life Towards somewhere crashing it on the shore Thats blown in by the wind that carries the clouds To hide my wish on a fallen star A differnt kind of pain, is someone there to hold you Is someone there to take you away from me I tried to let you go I wish i could turn back time and show You just how i feel I needed you to know If it takes my whole damned life i'll Make this up to you Before you let me go, i needed you to know

As I look over my whole life, I realize there was only one person that was always there for me if I ever had something that brought a tear to my eye. To love me unlike nobody ever has. As I wake to my newly created Hell, I realize that angel is not here and cannot see my soul that I am being honest. When the one you really needed and your heart wanted, is no longer there. At that moment you realize just what it's like to actually feel like your world has been pulled from your life and you are soulless and meaningless. They're no longer there to hold you tight and tell you it's alright, to wipe that tear away from your crying eyes, to love you when no one cares and be there when you are scared. I made a big mistake that I can't seem to fix. My nightmare I've always feared is finally here. Hoping and wishing something will make the day brighter, but at sunrise, no bright sun, just complete darkness. Nothing to look forward to, no one to smile and share laughter with. No one to talk about growing old with. No one to hold and call your own or even your baby. I've been through alot, but finally I got my what was coming to me. Pure heartache and pain, I've never known love could hurt so much. But just shows that even a guy that has the greatest intentions and that can be a hopeless romantic can't be and is not meant to be truly happy... Guys like me where put here to see how bad the world is and just see love all around, but never have it completely to ourselves. Just wonder in sorrow and loneliness. Nobody to truly love us or want to be with us, even in the hardest of times... I'm so sorry for every bad thing I've done in my life and I hope someone is listening so perhaps in later years, I may earn forgiveness... but until then, I must return to my neverending nightmare of heartache and pain.... To Be Continued...........